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Topic : Working Moms

Number of Replies: 83
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 01:41:00 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you work outside of the home? Share advice on juggling family and work with other moms in the workforce.

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May 13, 2006, 4:12 am CDT

Advice - been there done that

  

  

               I used to be in the workforce.  I have a two and a one year old.  I hated not seeing them and someone else raising them besides me.  I lost my job a little while ago, and I honestly wasn't sure what I was going to do.  Most jobs barely cover the cost of child care.  I found a wonderful job that I can do from home.  I run my own business, but I still work with lots of other people.  And I love the interaction and support.  My email is in my profile, if you would like more information.   

 
May 22, 2006, 1:01 am CDT

my mother won't let me be the mom

Help! 

I am a 35 year old mother of three beautiful girls ages 3,5,and 7.  i recently got married for the second time to a wonderful man.  My biggest problem is that my mother doesn't allow me to be the mom to my daughters.  I am an RN and work three nights a week, my new husband works out of town during the week, and their father is incarcerated.  We live about 100 yards away from my parents and my mother watches the girls at night while I work.   When I try to discipline my children they sometimes run out the door down to my parents or call her to tell her that I won't allow them to do something, or am trying to make them do something they don't want to do, etc.  I need my mother , so how do I ask her to back off some and let me be the mom? 

  

HELP 

 
May 23, 2006, 3:54 am CDT

Unsure?

I was very honestly unsure where to post this because after being in the work force for a long time  and having only been off during maternity leave with my two children *Daughter 3 and son 15months* I wasn't sure what to do really I've been laid off work  when i knew i still had two months left because of a gallbladder attack i had to take time off work as doctors were scared it would endanger my pregnancy*due in september* now it looks like I am about to become a stay at home mom  as husband has found a great full time job .. But I  still miss work, I love being home with my kids but Am so worried about not being able to swing things moneywise. Cause it was taking my check and his*EI*check before  to pay things and have money left to buy what was needed.. I'm not sure if i should try to get back to work with the doctors warning I shouldn't  or just enjoy the time off with the childrenand the preggie and focus on things at home..  I was going to start staying home after baby was born anyways because I would not be able to afford child care be it day care or private babysitter for 3 children... 

  

Anyone got some advice??? 

  

Cryssie 

 
July 17, 2006, 6:01 am CDT

What do I do?

I'm not sure where to start, but here I go. 

  

I am a mom who works full - time.  I leave my home at the same time as my husband and get home about 2 hours after him only to find that he has done nothing to help the evening go smoother.  He would rather disappear into the back yard by himself , while my mother in- law  is in the house with our 2 year old daughter waiting for me to come home.  And when I get home I am supposto cook dinner ( with her in my hip) , bath her , clean up after dinner, do laundry and have a nice lovey converstion with him about how he had to cut the lawn for the 4th time this week!  And I am then to stay awake till he comes back in from doing what ever it is that he is doing so we can have sex, on his terms!  When I started chatting on line w/ both male and females he lost his mind and told me I was cheating on him and he could never trust me again.  I don't understand what I was doing wrong I need an outlit and some friends.  Does anyone else live this way ?  We went away for the weekend with our daughter and it was soooooooo crazy, he complained about every thing I did, eating to much drinking coffee with sugar etc...  Even complained when our daughter said she was hungry!  Can anyone give me a little insight on this I think I'm going crazy or maybe I am already crazy! 

 
August 2, 2006, 1:01 pm CDT

Don't know what to do!!

I am lost! I don't know what to do anymore. I had my 3 year old in preschool. My husband and I had to take her out for finical reasons. I work from 8 am to 5 pm. My husband works from 11pm to 7 am. He watches our daughter while I'm at work and then I take over so he can sleep. I know it is probably her age and that everyone deals with this, but she is just uncontrollable. She doesn't listen to anyone. She runs and runs around the house and is as hyper as can be. If I tell her no, she will tell me "but I said I wanted to!" She will repeat it over and over. I have tried every kind of discipline I can think of. Nothing seems to work. I have tried sitting her down and talking to her. She will scream and yell at me. I am pregnant right now with another child and her behavior is stressing me out. We plan games with her and spend a lot of time with her. I have run out of ideas. Please help me I don't know what to do anymore.

 

Christin

 
August 10, 2006, 6:29 am CDT

Your not crazy

Quote From: christing

I am lost! I don't know what to do anymore. I had my 3 year old in preschool. My husband and I had to take her out for finical reasons. I work from 8 am to 5 pm. My husband works from 11pm to 7 am. He watches our daughter while I'm at work and then I take over so he can sleep. I know it is probably her age and that everyone deals with this, but she is just uncontrollable. She doesn't listen to anyone. She runs and runs around the house and is as hyper as can be. If I tell her no, she will tell me "but I said I wanted to!" She will repeat it over and over. I have tried every kind of discipline I can think of. Nothing seems to work. I have tried sitting her down and talking to her. She will scream and yell at me. I am pregnant right now with another child and her behavior is stressing me out. We plan games with her and spend a lot of time with her. I have run out of ideas. Please help me I don't know what to do anymore.

 

Christin

Christin,

It does not sound like your crazy, just stressed. I'm a mother of 2 boys and can only offer "mommy" advice. Have you monitored the sugar intake? Is she getting enough sleep and enough exercise? Do you offer structured and scheduled play time?  I hope things are going better for you.

Take Care

 
August 16, 2006, 11:52 am CDT

flylady.com

Quote From: judypoody

Hey there.  I have never been on any of Dr Phils message boards although I have been on Oprahs from time to time.  Just had my third baby.... he is now 10 weeks old.  I have been married for 9 years and have another two sons, one who is 8 and one who is 4.  I just want to connect with other mums out there who also juggle working outside the home aswell.  I go back to work after Xmas and am dreading the thought as it was hard enough when I had two children.  If anyone out there has any good advice I would really appreciate it.  It will make the next few months easier to relax with my new baby instead of worrying!!!  I am mailing all the way from Scotland.... but if there is one thing every mum out there has in common, it is that it is the hardest job in the world.  Right? 
 
August 16, 2006, 10:14 pm CDT

I totally understand...

Quote From: boredmom

Wow!  I have to say I am so glad there is someone else out there going through the same things I am.  I only have 2 kids but I know where you are coming from.  I feel like I never get a break either.  I also do not work as many hours but I work evenings and late nights at a bar, I only really see my 8year old two days a week for maybe 3 to 4 hours, the rest of the days i go to work before she even gets home from school. I would really like to chat sometime and compare our stories

I'm 22, I only have one child.  I work only 40 hours a week, but the hours are 4-10 hour days from 10am-9pm...Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.   My baby just start back to school, she is 6.  I want to be home more to help with homework, give her a bath and make sure she got a good meal to eat.  I also want to still be involved with school...going to eat lunch and helping out when needed.  I feel as if I'm missing her grow up.  I have a really good helping and supportive husband, and he is a wonder father.  He is not the same as mom.  I want so bad to be a stay at home mom but we can't afford it.  If anyone has an advise please help.  I'm have no clue how to handle this....

I do know what you are going through, I feel the same way.  I'm jealous!  I feel like someone else is raising my only baby and I'm missing so much...Just always remember you can never get the years miss back. 

 

 
September 11, 2006, 8:55 pm CDT

You are not crazy

Quote From: nalabean72

I'm not sure where to start, but here I go. 

  

I am a mom who works full - time.  I leave my home at the same time as my husband and get home about 2 hours after him only to find that he has done nothing to help the evening go smoother.  He would rather disappear into the back yard by himself , while my mother in- law  is in the house with our 2 year old daughter waiting for me to come home.  And when I get home I am supposto cook dinner ( with her in my hip) , bath her , clean up after dinner, do laundry and have a nice lovey converstion with him about how he had to cut the lawn for the 4th time this week!  And I am then to stay awake till he comes back in from doing what ever it is that he is doing so we can have sex, on his terms!  When I started chatting on line w/ both male and females he lost his mind and told me I was cheating on him and he could never trust me again.  I don't understand what I was doing wrong I need an outlit and some friends.  Does anyone else live this way ?  We went away for the weekend with our daughter and it was soooooooo crazy, he complained about every thing I did, eating to much drinking coffee with sugar etc...  Even complained when our daughter said she was hungry!  Can anyone give me a little insight on this I think I'm going crazy or maybe I am already crazy! 

He sounds like a controlling idiot who is trying to run your life, make you miserable and did I mention control you. He treats you with no respect.Do you get that, wanting to be treated with respect is not crazy?  Do what you have to to save your own sanity. You will be no good to your daughter if you don't. seriously.
 
December 6, 2006, 1:28 pm CST

It happens.

Quote From: christing

I am lost! I don't know what to do anymore. I had my 3 year old in preschool. My husband and I had to take her out for finical reasons. I work from 8 am to 5 pm. My husband works from 11pm to 7 am. He watches our daughter while I'm at work and then I take over so he can sleep. I know it is probably her age and that everyone deals with this, but she is just uncontrollable. She doesn't listen to anyone. She runs and runs around the house and is as hyper as can be. If I tell her no, she will tell me "but I said I wanted to!" She will repeat it over and over. I have tried every kind of discipline I can think of. Nothing seems to work. I have tried sitting her down and talking to her. She will scream and yell at me. I am pregnant right now with another child and her behavior is stressing me out. We plan games with her and spend a lot of time with her. I have run out of ideas. Please help me I don't know what to do anymore.

 

Christin

I am not a psychologist but I am a mother of three. It may be possible that she is playing both you and her dad. You probably parent a little different than he does and obviously vice sersa. A little one will try to get away with what they can According to your work hours she rarely gets dual parenting. That is, a united front from the both of you because you're there and then your husband. Rarely do you get a chance to parent together. She's confused. Been there. Gauranteed she will try to take advantage of  the differences in parenting. NO MATTER HOW SUBTLE THEY MAY BE.  Be patient and if you can you may want to try and find schedules that are a little more in sync. The more time time she spends with both of you together may make her realize that you are united.
 
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