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Topic : Working Moms

Number of Replies: 83
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 01:41:00 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you work outside of the home? Share advice on juggling family and work with other moms in the workforce.

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September 29, 2005, 1:26 pm CDT

Working Moms

Quote From: dutchkarin

WOW, a full-time working mother and a father who is working 50 hours a week! 

Perhaps a strange question but do you have time to prepare  dinner and eat together, and what with all the other things at home? 

I work 20 hours a week , my husband full-time,  and our childern are 15 and 17, don't you have the feeling that you miss a lot from the childern??  

I stayed at home untill the kids were in school, and I loved that, I did not want to miss all the things they learned during the first few years. 

I want to say that you must very proud that you can manage your family that way, because I could not do that like you!! 

greetings from the Netherlands, 

Karin 

  

I just have to say every minute I spend with my kids is precious.  I feel because my time is limited I don't take any of it for granted.  All of my cooking is done with my son.  On Sunday evenings we prepare most of the meals for the week.  I love that time with him.  It also makes it easier during the week.  I just pop the meals in the oven.  My daughter and I have spent many hours talking about life while doing laundry and cleaning the bathrooms.  To my children these don't seem like chores but quality time with mom.  I also do fun things with them as well, but I try to use every moment I have.  I am very organized and don't have a large home.  I see these moms with these huge houses that spend so much time cleaning it.  For me I am not home enough. A small home means less cleaning and less money.  It also forces us to go outside a lot.  It just works for us.
 
October 3, 2005, 4:40 pm CDT

hi

Hi I’m Bea; I’m tired (the whole time) I have one son in first grade, no time to work out, live on caffeine, and am trying to make it better.  

  

 

Love Bea

 
October 16, 2005, 12:18 am CDT

Some help from those who have been there?

My son who is 21/2 will b e going to daycare in about 3 weeks. 

I am returning to work full time and am very worried. 

I have tried off and on since he was 6 months old to go back to work and have not been able to as my son is not very accepting of other people looking after him. 

He is getting progressively worse. The other day I left him with a family friend, she has a son around the same age and he has always loved going there before. This time he was hysterical for the whole hour and a half he was there. 

Even leaving him with his Nana is turning into a nightmare. 

  

He was diagnosed with cancer at age 1 and he spent quite a few months in hospital. He is well on his way to making a full recovery and to look at now you would not even know he was ever a sick little man. 

  

I am just wanting some advice from all you other working mothers as to how you got your children to go into daycare with out them getting so distressed they became hysterical? 

  

Staying home is not an option as i need to go to work to pay some bills and help out with th e family, as you can imagine that the medical bills are pretty high after my sons cancer treatments. 

  

Please if you could give me some help, it would really really be appreciated. 

  

Cheers,  

  

oncall24_7 

 
October 16, 2005, 8:05 am CDT

Working Moms

Quote From: oncall24_7

My son who is 21/2 will b e going to daycare in about 3 weeks. 

I am returning to work full time and am very worried. 

I have tried off and on since he was 6 months old to go back to work and have not been able to as my son is not very accepting of other people looking after him. 

He is getting progressively worse. The other day I left him with a family friend, she has a son around the same age and he has always loved going there before. This time he was hysterical for the whole hour and a half he was there. 

Even leaving him with his Nana is turning into a nightmare. 

  

He was diagnosed with cancer at age 1 and he spent quite a few months in hospital. He is well on his way to making a full recovery and to look at now you would not even know he was ever a sick little man. 

  

I am just wanting some advice from all you other working mothers as to how you got your children to go into daycare with out them getting so distressed they became hysterical? 

  

Staying home is not an option as i need to go to work to pay some bills and help out with th e family, as you can imagine that the medical bills are pretty high after my sons cancer treatments. 

  

Please if you could give me some help, it would really really be appreciated. 

  

Cheers,  

  

oncall24_7 

Hi Oncall, 

  

I work at a preschool with 3 to 5 year olds, only part time atm, but soon full time.  What I have seen is amazing.  We had one little boy, who sounds alot like yours.  He wouldn't let his mom go when she dropped him off.  He would cry for hours and not join in with the other kids.  But in a few short weeks everything changed.  He began to play with the other children and didn't mind when his mom left.   

  

In the beginning we told his mom, to leave quickly, so as to not prolong anything.  Also when she did leave, we had  her son involved in an activity, so he wouldn't see her leave.  So don't call attention to yourself when you do leave.  Say your goodbye as you bring him in, then hang out a few minutes until he is preoccupied.  We will also tell parents to leave if the child is extreemly upset, crying etc and clinging to her, the mom gives us the child (usually to hold) and leaves in the middle of it.  It may be heartbreaking to see, but the kids do learn that they are okay without mom. 

  

If your daycare people are good, one of the adults will comfort your son through the hard time.  When the little boy cried the first day his mom dropped him off,  we were only watching him for three hours so she could join a parenting class, he was so upset, my coworker held him for the entire three hours and just rocked him.  (we provided daycare for certain activities too)  

  

Other children will cry for only a few minutes.  My own son would cling to me when he first started preschool, crying, sad, etc.  Then later I would ask how he did, his teachers would say he only cried for 2 minutes!  LOL!  So it might not be as bad as you think.   

  

Another idea is to let him bring his favorite thing.  A blankie, or a stuffie, something that he uses for comfort around the house.  Also you can give him a picture of you, tell him when he misses you he can look at it.   

  

Also, visit the daycare early.  If you don't start work right away, see if you can go there with him and spend a few hours there a day until you do start work.  Do ask your daycare what they think and how they deal with these situations. 

  

I am so happy for you that your son is getting well.  Remind him that he is a brave boy and that daycare isn't like the hospital (his anxieties may come from his hospital time).  Also give him something to look forward to when he comes home, ie set up a paint day, or clay day etc.   

  

Please post after and let me know how it goes!   

  

~Ceno =) 

 
October 21, 2005, 9:01 pm CDT

Hi mums

Hi all,  I am new here but inspired by all the hardworking mums trying to make it.  I work full time with two children aged 13 and 16.  My husband works full time too and we have juggled parenthood since the kids were born.  I was a nurse when I met hubby and as he works in the hospitality industry we were very fortunate in rotating our shifts so someone was always home with the kids.  I remember the days when we would say hi and bye at the door as one came in and the other was leaving for work.  When the kids started school, it was a whole new challenge of who was finishing work when,so I took permanent day shifts and hubby worked evenings.  Our survival contract was talking.  We told each other everything and agreed that no matter how big or small the problem was, we would talk about it and always found a solution to it.  We shared the household chores down the line and learnt a great deal about each other's strengths and weaknessess through those tough years.  We looked forward to holidays when we could spend quality time together and the kids did too which made all our holidays such memorable times and still does.  Sundays are still our family meeting day where ideas and suggestions are laid out and new plans are reviewed.  The kids feel a great sense of contribution and although its very difficult at times, hubby and I feel that their ideas are very valid for the running of our family.  Three years ago I changed careers and have worked 9 to 5 since.  We are now going through the trials and tribulations of the great teen years but we always tell our kids that we trust them completely and love them no matter what and they had to take responsibilty for their own action which allows and gives them the confidence to be themselves and not be pressured into anything.   As teenagers, they ask very confronting questions which we answer very honestly as we believe parents should be their children's best teachers in life.  We have our hits and misses but above all, we continue to grow and learn together as a family and as I look back I have to agree that YES!!! the dishes can wait, me time can wait, money is not the most important thing in life although necessary and we only have one time to do things right.
 
October 29, 2005, 5:40 pm CDT

do what you have to do

Hello working moms i work almost full time and my husband also works full time we have four kids 10 year old triplets and a very spunky four year old they are all girls {god bless my husband} and we are a blended family  that it has done pretty good . I work because of the money we don't live with lots of fancy things we are trying to save up for our first house I'm 35 and still trying to juggle rent, bills, kids, car payments, and trying to put a little away for the future. I am lucky i get home at the same time the girls get off the bus so i get to be there to do homework with them witch i really think is important for either parent to do.I know some women think working moms should be at home and if your lucky and have the money to do this and it is what you want then be happy with this but like me i really have to work and that  right now  is my reality.
 
November 1, 2005, 4:36 pm CST

Its not fair

hello its cassaemia again here in Canada we get one year off for maternity leave that is great moms get this time with their children and some take longer. Then they decide or have no choice to return to work. So they bring then to day care these children most of them have been with moms from day one and have not left their side so when they bring them and try to leave the kids have a fit .And some will cry for the half or full day they are there.The moms say they feel terrible and I'm sure they do but i feel bad for the little guys that are surely scared and don't know what is going on I think this is not fair and mean I know it is hard when they are small to leave them with other people i found it hard with my daughter . But when I leave her to go and do anything i know she will be fine and will make the most of the time that she has with whoever she is with. And really its not about you missing them its about getting them ready to be independent and to enjoy the different things that other people{ that you know and trust of course} can give them and they will learn that mommy or daddy leaves but they will come back. 
 
November 3, 2005, 8:02 am CST

Yeah, that's a problem

Quote From: cassaemmia

hello its cassaemia again here in Canada we get one year off for maternity leave that is great moms get this time with their children and some take longer. Then they decide or have no choice to return to work. So they bring then to day care these children most of them have been with moms from day one and have not left their side so when they bring them and try to leave the kids have a fit .And some will cry for the half or full day they are there.The moms say they feel terrible and I'm sure they do but i feel bad for the little guys that are surely scared and don't know what is going on I think this is not fair and mean I know it is hard when they are small to leave them with other people i found it hard with my daughter . But when I leave her to go and do anything i know she will be fine and will make the most of the time that she has with whoever she is with. And really its not about you missing them its about getting them ready to be independent and to enjoy the different things that other people that you know and trust of course can give them and they will learn that mommy or daddy leaves but they will come back. 
I went back to school just a few days after I had my daughter :p  My sister, or my neighbor watched her until I got a job when she was 6 months and then took her to day care. She adjusted well, and would get upset sometimes, but the daycare staff told me that she hardly cried for long.  I think some kids might be naturally attached or afraid of other people, but then there are those kids who are constantly with their mothers and are confused and frightened when they go to daycare.  So I think getting them in early is a good idea.  It worked with my daugher.  She's very social and outgoing.  If I had another child and got maternity leave, I wouldn't take anymore than 3 months.  To me, that's plenty of time, especially compared to 4 days :p
 
November 12, 2005, 9:14 pm CST

Greetings from Montreal Quebec Canada

Hello Cenobia and to all you women out there who have written ! 

 

I must say, I am very impressed and suddenly feeling ""slightly" less overwhelmed. You have all inspired me as I read all of your messages here this evening as midnight approaches. You see my baby girl Riley Breanna is barely 6 months old. I am also on maternity leave for another 6 months and I must confess the thought of going back to work is more or less appealing. I love my job but dread leaving my baby at daycare. Not to mention I will be starting a brand new job upon my return next April...so the pressure is ON...as for managing/juggling everything well I'm clueless as to how i will do it. But those of you with not one, two but three children...oh ! my gosh...I feel so much better now ! I guess it is possible...after all. So I will just do what I have to do. With a newborn, I now wonder what I used to do in my spare time...I already seem to have forgotten. Whatever it was it can't replace the joy I have now though. 

  

One thing for sure however..is I keep reminding myself...this...IF MOMMY is happy...then the entire Family is HAPPY !!  So for now, I make a point to do little things for myself..even if it's taking a one hour bath or going to the gym, getting a massage or getting a cup of coffee with a friend. I feel better and energized when I come home to my daughter not to mention how I miss her so much...just want to give her thousands of hugs and kisses after being away even for an hour. I keep joking around that "She grew taller" while I was gone. 

  

Anyway, I'm very new at this (reading the board message as well as being a mom for the very first time...so I don't have much to offer...when it comes to giving you all any advice...but I love reading you all...this is great  - thanks for starting up the chat Cenobia - great topic). 

  

One more thing...I found out quickly that my husband will not do much....to help out or take care of the baby.....because I don't always let him. What I mean is "we" women do it all...we're kinda like Superwomen...at least I thought so...so I would take over...so to speak when he wasn't doing it right...or my way....until I realized when I'm not there...he and the baby manage quite well for a couple of hours. Note to self : now when I need a break...on a week night or couple of hours during the weekend...I make sure baby bottles are ready...and let them have their alone daddy/daugther time and just take off somewhere...so far so good. You gotta make it happen...cuz our hubby's don't usually offer the favor...you have to take it and they manage and even have fun !!!! Oh! and your husband appreciates you just a little more ;) ha!ha!...Cuz now he sees everything that you do!!! 

  

So g'nite all !! 

Take good care and good luck. 

Yours Truly   

Mac ;) 

 

 

 
November 13, 2005, 1:56 pm CST

WORKING MOMS

It can be done.  It's not the quanity of time spent , it's the quality of time spent with the family.  My kids are successful and along with my career.
 
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