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Topic : Working Moms

Number of Replies: 83
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 01:41:00 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you work outside of the home? Share advice on juggling family and work with other moms in the workforce.

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November 21, 2005, 8:01 am CST

It's definitely not easy

To juggle the role of being a mother, wife, and maintain a job.  I returned to work when my daughter was 2 1/2 months old.  I cried every day  for the first couple weeks.  I hated the thought of leaving her.  I still hate the thought of leaving her.  But I remind myself that I'm helping support my family, so I'm leaving her for a good cause.   

  

My daughter is now 15 months old.  She totally adores her babysitter.  The highlight of my day is when I pick her up from the sitters & she comes running to me with open arms. 

  

I think the main things you should keep in mind when returning to work are: 

* Please remember to make time for yourself.  I made the mistake when I first returned to work of trying to wear the "superwoman" cape.  Meaning I thought I could work full time, spend time with my family & still manage to get all of the household chores done every day.  I wore myself out.  Give your husband some daily "chores" to do.  Make sure that it's a group effort, not a race to see what you can get done.  If you forget to take care of you, you're no good to anyone else. 

  

* Guilt is a part of parenthood.  Working mom's feel guilty for leaving their baby & working.  But I've also learned that many stay at home moms wonder if they should be out working.  One thing I've learned about being a parent is that you're never 100% sure you're doing the right thing.  just do your best, everything will fall in place. 

  

* plan ahead. 

I try to get all of my grocery shopping & things of that nature done on the weekend.  Instead of trying to get it done after work or during my lunch hour.  This keeps my lunch hour free, which gives me an hour to myself every day.  I spend this hour either taking a walk, or enjoying a nice meal with coworkers.  It's important to have that time to relax.  Remember, if Mama's crazy, the family will be too! 

 
November 21, 2005, 9:07 am CST

Working Moms

It can be a struggle at times. I found using a planner or date book helped out a lot. I posted work hours for myself, my husband and the kid's schooling, after school events and appointments. My work schedule was a little more flexible since I work at a hospital here in town. (I worked days, evenings, and night shift along with alternating weekends) My stepson had ADHD, Tourettes and Bi-polar disorders and if this wasn't a challange. Chore schedules, along with homework schedules were worked into the daily routine. (Both of these children were in Junior and Senior High at the time) I did a lot of crook pot cooking to help with such a hectic schedule. I also was able to prepare meals during the days that I had to work the late shifts or we had several games or functions going on. (husband with 1 child and myself with the other child). At times, we would also have our nephews with us so that their parents could have a weekend away.
 
November 21, 2005, 9:32 am CST

Working Moms

Quote From: macree

Hello Cenobia and to all you women out there who have written ! 

 

I must say, I am very impressed and suddenly feeling ""slightly" less overwhelmed. You have all inspired me as I read all of your messages here this evening as midnight approaches. You see my baby girl Riley Breanna is barely 6 months old. I am also on maternity leave for another 6 months and I must confess the thought of going back to work is more or less appealing. I love my job but dread leaving my baby at daycare. Not to mention I will be starting a brand new job upon my return next April...so the pressure is ON...as for managing/juggling everything well I'm clueless as to how i will do it. But those of you with not one, two but three children...oh ! my gosh...I feel so much better now ! I guess it is possible...after all. So I will just do what I have to do. With a newborn, I now wonder what I used to do in my spare time...I already seem to have forgotten. Whatever it was it can't replace the joy I have now though. 

  

One thing for sure however..is I keep reminding myself...this...IF MOMMY is happy...then the entire Family is HAPPY !!  So for now, I make a point to do little things for myself..even if it's taking a one hour bath or going to the gym, getting a massage or getting a cup of coffee with a friend. I feel better and energized when I come home to my daughter not to mention how I miss her so much...just want to give her thousands of hugs and kisses after being away even for an hour. I keep joking around that "She grew taller" while I was gone. 

  

Anyway, I'm very new at this (reading the board message as well as being a mom for the very first time...so I don't have much to offer...when it comes to giving you all any advice...but I love reading you all...this is great  - thanks for starting up the chat Cenobia - great topic). 

  

One more thing...I found out quickly that my husband will not do much....to help out or take care of the baby.....because I don't always let him. What I mean is "we" women do it all...we're kinda like Superwomen...at least I thought so...so I would take over...so to speak when he wasn't doing it right...or my way....until I realized when I'm not there...he and the baby manage quite well for a couple of hours. Note to self : now when I need a break...on a week night or couple of hours during the weekend...I make sure baby bottles are ready...and let them have their alone daddy/daugther time and just take off somewhere...so far so good. You gotta make it happen...cuz our hubby's don't usually offer the favor...you have to take it and they manage and even have fun !!!! Oh! and your husband appreciates you just a little more ;) ha!ha!...Cuz now he sees everything that you do!!! 

  

So g'nite all !! 

Take good care and good luck. 

Yours Truly   

Mac ;) 

 

 

Hi Mac! 

  

Gratz on your baby!!  I miss my kids being babies, just the newborn smell, and the cuddling!  LOL!  So drink it in hun, cause it doesn't last as long as you will wish it did!  And don't forget to take tons of pictures!! 

  

You sound like you are on the right track!  It is easy to loose yourself and become a robomom.  I was one for a long time and I finally realized that I needed to be me again too.  Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you can't do things that you enjoy etc!   

  

And one tip too, let your hubby do his chores his way (and the baby too when she is older).  It won't matter in the long run how it gets done, just that it does.  Don't worry I know I'm guilty of it too, used to be much worse, but now that the kids are older, I let them do things their way, and I give up some of my control over it.  They have to learn, gain confidence, and if mommy is always saying "do it like this...etc" then it gets their self esteem gets hurt.   

  

Work and kids is hard to balance, but just remember, chores can wait, family is more important. =) 

(HUGS) 

  

~Ceno 

  

  

 
November 21, 2005, 5:41 pm CST

Are there enough hours in the day

Hello All, 

This is my first time on the message board. I am a full time working mother of two boys and I understand what everyone is going through. I am a principal of an elementary school and teach an online college course. My oldest boy has football three nights a week and my husband work shift work. They key for me is accepting everything is not going to be perfect. The house is going to be a little messy and my expectation is for my husband to do his part. I grocery shop only twice a month and prepare a menu ahead of time. I do get prepared for the next day the night before and often get frustrated. In my house we have what is called mom time. My boys know not to interrupt me unless it is an emergency. I have this time when I watch a movie on Friday or Saturday night and when I read the Sunday paper. It is a great time for me to unwind at the end of the week. I also have a husband who spends lots of time with the boys. They have boy time together. This is a wonderful opportunity for me to simply relax and enjoy life. My youngest went to school last week without socks. My dad asked where his socks were and I simply said his last clean pair were worn last night and he constantly loses socks. I had to live with that and accept that I am not perfect! Live goes on and we do the best we can do. To all the moms out there-thanks for all of your hard work. Motherhood is a full time job and often goes unappreciated.  

 
December 6, 2005, 6:00 am CST

Working mom

I have been a little stressed lately.  I work full time, go to college full time, run a household with two children and try to keep it all going.  My husband and kids help alot but I still feel overwhelmed!  I have two more years of school after this school year and can't wait.  Planning is everything.  I help at both of my daughters schools as much as I can and help with their youth group at church.  I can't wait to be done and take a vacation.  The plus for me is that I work at the local hospital and only work three days a week.  I work 7p-7a three nights a week in the Intensive Care Unit.  I have to try to stay organized at all times.  My problem is my weight!  I have picked up some pounds because of my time schedule.  I need some exercises that doesn't take too long and can be done from home.  I also need some quick recipes that are good for you.  If anyone can help me out please let me know. 

 
December 6, 2005, 7:41 am CST

congratulations moms

I'm a working mom with 4 children. they are 21,19,16 and a little cute boy of 2years and a half. I wanna say to all the womens who working and have kids: congratulations!! I know from my experience that it's not easy. It's help when you're not trying to do everything perfect. There are not enough hours in a day to work, clean,be a perfect mother,wife,...... You have to give yourself some rest from time to time,because when you're happy, not overstressed and overtired you can move mountains. My second mariage is a blessing. He's very loving,understanding,patient and sweet. I work now in a restaurant from six o'clock untill ten or eleven. My housband or one of the kids is looking for the little one, Iam all day at home and have a bit of extra income. I am a happy women now. I am sorry if my wryting is not perfect.
 
December 6, 2005, 11:25 am CST

Be good to yourself

Congrats on your third child!!!  I remember when.......I am still a working mom after raising one boy and two girls.  All of whom have left the next.  My youngest just moved out this summer with her new baby.  She is also a working single mom.  I help her as much as I can, just like my mother helped me when mine were little.  I remember how hard it was to go back to work after the initial time off came to an end.  But each moment I spent with each child when they first come home was exciting and also stressful.  I was lucky that my mother was retired and able to help out by taking care of them while I worked.  I was married twice during the time when my kids were growing up.  Neither husband really was too helpful with the kids.  But I was always there as much as I could and still had to work full time.  In turn, my kids have been there for me when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.  They helped alot.  Even my son helped with taking care of my mom during the last months she was with us.  They keep in touch with me and I feel lucky that they feel that I gave them the guidance and love they needed as they grew up.  Even when we didn't agree and had words.  They still knew I love them.  Children are a true blessing!!!
 
December 6, 2005, 11:40 am CST

Lucky you!!!

Quote From: cenobia

Hi Mac! 

  

Gratz on your baby!!  I miss my kids being babies, just the newborn smell, and the cuddling!  LOL!  So drink it in hun, cause it doesn't last as long as you will wish it did!  And don't forget to take tons of pictures!! 

  

You sound like you are on the right track!  It is easy to loose yourself and become a robomom.  I was one for a long time and I finally realized that I needed to be me again too.  Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you can't do things that you enjoy etc!   

  

And one tip too, let your hubby do his chores his way (and the baby too when she is older).  It won't matter in the long run how it gets done, just that it does.  Don't worry I know I'm guilty of it too, used to be much worse, but now that the kids are older, I let them do things their way, and I give up some of my control over it.  They have to learn, gain confidence, and if mommy is always saying "do it like this...etc" then it gets their self esteem gets hurt.   

  

Work and kids is hard to balance, but just remember, chores can wait, family is more important. =) 

(HUGS) 

  

Ceno 

  

  

You are truly lucky to have a full year off after having a baby.  Most working mothers only get a couple of weeks.  The most time I had off for each of my three children was four weeks.  Plus I had to take care of the other kids and and a husband and a home and help my mother and at times take a college class.  I used to think that my house had to be clean and spotless every day.  I finally realized that if my kitchen was clean and laundry was taken care of, then all is well.  But as soon as each child could reach the controls on the washer and dryer and understand how to work them, they started taking care of their own laundry.  If they had no clean clothes, that was their problem.  I helped to teach them responsibility.  The only problem child was my son, He didn't seem to care what the condition of his clothing was.  Now that he is a parent himself and supporting his family, he has thanked me for staying on his case for so long.  It just took longer with him than with the girls.  They also had to clean their own rooms as least once a month, preferrably more often, but if they kept their doors closed, I left it up to them to clean when it suited them.  That gave me more time to be with them and less stress on our relationships.
 
December 6, 2005, 3:09 pm CST

Working Moms

The first month or so is going to be difficult when you go back to work I have always worked with my kids since they were small my two oldest are only 10 and half months apart and at the time it was difficult I worked since they were 6 weeks old and then went back to college they are now 21 and 20 I have a 12 year old and stayed home until he was 2 and it was more difficult leaving him then he had got used to me, but if you get super organised it can be done I too am from Scotland and I would say there are more resources over there I am in the states with no family support and found it really difficult but I was a single parent with my first two in scotland and found it easier there than here even although childcare wasnt readily available. I use to come home with the kids feed them bath them and sit about an hour playing and quality time. then they were in bed by 8pm or 9pm at very latest I would do laundry  and prepare everything for the next day so when I got up it was a case of getting them ready and breakfast then go an I usually had to be at work by 8.30pm my paycheck was eaten up with child minders or daycare but I think you have to keep sane and be involved with adult interaction I am from Glasgow were are you from miss scotland but nothing to go back for now my mum has gone. welll I hope this is of help. Accept any help from family dont be to proud and it will get easier, you will enjoy your children even more if that s possible if you come home and havent seen them all day. and they will appreciate you. 

  

  

 
December 21, 2005, 9:36 am CST

hi jennifer

Quote From: mommyto4

Hello, my name is Jennifer!  I'm a 23 year old mommy of 4!  I have a 6 year old son, a 5 year old daughter, a 3 year old son, and a 7 mo old daughter.  I've been married to my DH, who is 30, for 6 years!  I work 2 jobs, while he stays home with the kids.  I love my jobs but miss my kids...however, i know it's the only option, so i do what i have to do!

hi there  

my name is jennifer to  

so your husband is diabled 

 is he able to get a job at something? 

i mean you are working 2 jobs 

when do you get to see your kids? 

  

 
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