Topic : Working Moms

I am a working, divorced mother of 3. 

  

I am so thankful that i was able to stay home with my kids for 8+ years. I truely do not understand the world today. We do not even have families anymore. People give birth, take a few months to nurse them, then drop them in the hands of someone to raise them till we send them off to school.  

  

As many have already said in this topic, woman are now expected to work out of the home as well as look after all the same old duties within. 

The frozen food industry thrives! And still we strive to nourish our families properly after a full day of work its hard to do. Nevermind the emotional nourishment we are failing to fully give as we cant even feed ourselves. Its a race against time.  

  

I feel everyone needs to just slow down and remember where it is we are striving achieve. Our children watch as we destroy the earth, and we as parents just continue with our set agendas, day in and day out. These kids have thier eyes open wider than we do and understand the crisis of the world. Each day they are bombarded with such incredible amounts of information, that its seems they would need even more devotion and time from us then that of generations past.  

But alas, we hold our blinders tight to our heads and push forward on... towards ... something. 

  

I do not mean to be negative, nor put anyone down. I know first hand the effects of circumstance. I only wish to remind you all to make the most of  this holiday season and to step back and reflect on your true goals as parents. 

Thank you to all that shared organization techniques, time is becoming as precious a commodity as water now adays. Have a wonderful Christmas. 

  

o2be_me 

  

I'm 27 years old and have 5 children 13, 12, 9, 8, & 2. We are a blended family and both of our ex's are dead beats that don't pay childsuport or help in any other way. We both work out of the home full time. I trully wish that I could stay home but having 5 kids that is not an option.  

  

You just have to take it one day at a time and take a deap breather. We run all over town every day to football and basket practice. My husband does help out alot. We do strugle with church, school, and disapline.  

  

It is extreamly hard work you just need to set priorities. Read a book to your kids or vacum. I love a clean house but if I over do the cleaning that means less time with my kids. 

There is nothing wrong with working moms.  In todays society, where homes and  cars and daily expenses are outrageous, it is almost a necessity.  I am a working mom and proud of it.  My mom was a teacher and I don't think that I ever felt deprived that she was not "at home with cookies waiting" when I got home from school.   

  

I think those who are financially able to stay home with their children are wonderfull.  But please do not look down on those mom's who work outside the home, take care of the house, and still have time to play with their children.  These women need to be looked up to for what they do.  I have seen a few friends get into great financial trouble while only one spouse it working.  There is no need for the dad/mom to work 2 jobs so the other can stay home. They the spouse that is working is missing out on all aspects of family life, just so the other can stay home.   

  

  

Hello, im 15 and my mom and dad both work full time, thats fine but they dont really ever talk to me. When i was little they always did and would always eat dinner as a family at the table. But now a lot of things happend in the past 2 years, getting into drugs and suiside and cutting and now im not close with my mom or dad. They work everyday from 5 in the morning till 7 at night and always work more overtime. All they care about is work and money. They give all the money to me, and i try to tell them moneys not the most important thing and they say well u like money dont u? and of cours ei like money but i dont know what else to say to them. Ive been really depressed and have noone to talk to, i try but all they want to do is watch tv when they get home from work, and if i try to talk they say shh or be quite, and all we do is fight and argue. Some times i like it when we fight because i actually get to tell them how i feel even if they dont really listn or they say well thts not true. I dont know hat to do anymore, my parents jsut work to much and im lucky if i see them 5 minutes a day.

I have recently become a single parent jumping into the work force head first. I have 5 kids, ages 15 to 6. On one hand I am so ecstatic about finally being my own, independent person and doing it all on my own, raising my babies, and on the other, I am totally scared to death. It's a new year, with new opportunities but will there be a job out there? Crossing my fingers, saying my prayers, and keeping positive that this is my year as well as my kids. 

  

Chele 

I'm sorry hun that your parents don't realize what they are doing.  First thing you gotta remember is that parents make many mistakes, just like everyone else.  Parents sometimes forget what it was like to be a teenager, they forget the pressures, the frustration they felt, etc.  But you also need to know, raising a family, keeping bills paid, etc, is a lot of pressure and frustration for parents.  Kids want a lot of things, name brand clothing, cell phones, mp3players, etc...and things are expensive, too expensive.   

  

A little run down of it for my family of 5 is, 600 a month on food, 300 to 400 a month for heat/electricity, cable is 150 a month, phone/internet is 85 a month, car expenses 200 +a month, new clothing/nessecities run around 500, entertainment (we are cheap with this, we prefer to read a lot) about 100 a month.  Housing is 750 a month, does not include taxes and insurance.  And that is not all.  There are doctor bills, insurances, savings, misc bills like school needs and dance classes/piano classes...etc...it doesn't seem to end.  

  

I know you are doing the things you are doing as a way to call out to your parents.  One thing I learned early on from my own parents, is that you can not be held responsible for your parents mistakes, and that is what you are doing, holding yourself responsible.  You need to be proactive for yourself.  Do not come out of this at 18 broken, but take away the important lessons you have learned and build on it.  Learn what not to do when you are a parent.  That is what I did.  My mom and dad were not involved in my life unless I didn't clean, or forgot to iron, or had money that they wanted.  They didn't know that I was sneaking beer into my room, or trying drugs, or being easy.  One day I realized that it didn't matter what I did, the effect of it was on myself, not on my parents.  I was only hurting me.  I learned to be involved, to help my kids with homework, to listen to them and respect their opinions and ideas.  I also learned to back off when I need to, to teach them that housework is not more important than homework (as my parents told me it was) and that kids need to be kids.  I learned alot.  Be able to say the same.   

  

What I suggest you do first is to find a safe person in your area.  A school counselor, a favorite teacher, someone from church (if you go), even someone from a mentor program so you have someone you can talk to.  Then if you aren't seeing anyone for your cutting, suicide, drug issues, then find someone.  I imagine your parents know about this, maybe request they get a counselor to help with this.  Then as far as your parents are concerned, maybe reach out in an unexpected way.  Since they get home at 7, maybe have dinner ready, tell them (when they ask what's going on) that you miss family dinners and just wanted that.  Don't get into everything yet, just take it in baby steps.  Maybe ask your mom to go with you somewhere, like the library, or some social club (something free so they can see that not everything is about money).  And do the same with dad.  When things are quiet and going well go to one of them and say something like "Mom, I need to talk to you.  It's important to me."  And tell her what is going on with you.  If she doesn't listen, or brushes it off, or it turns into an arguement,  then tell her to come to this site.  Let her read what you wrote, just to see that her baby wrote it for all the world to see, will show her that it is important and it does matter.     

  

I hope things work out for you.  Let me know what happens.   

*hugs* 

Ceno 

 i am a 47 year old single working parent with two teenage boy's, ages 16 and 17. 

I feel drained, frustrated, neglected and very tired. 

As strange as it may sound, although i am so very tired, i am not able to sleep properly. 

Any other woman out there in similar position, please talk to me and tell me there is hope. 

I  am looking to resolve the situation, positive constructive solutions..... 

I am so very tired of carrying all of the responsibilites by myself...I need a break...Time out..or just a push in the right direction so that I can claim my life back ! 

  

If I can communicate directly with Dr Phil I will be so greatfull. 

If any of his staff is reading this message, please forward it to Dr Phil. 

  

Please help. 

hi to mom'srule, 

i feel your pain and frustration.  it is a very rough world out there when one try and do things al by yourself. in general i do not have any trust in woman myself aswell, due to  a mother that use to beat the shits out of me on a dailybasis.  the one person that was suppose to love and comfort me did the most dammage.  It sounds as if you really are taking on alot of responsibility here. 

I am new to the website and am not always sure about the way to get around doing things here. However I really freak out when things get to much for me or you know what seems to happen lately when i do not take care of myself: the pain, hurt, tears and frustration pushes itself out in a very distorted way. 

it happened last friday, 27/01/2006, in a meeting , while the managers were disussing the most fair and efective way to eliminate the acces of team leaders on our Medial Scheme Call Centre floor. 

we were told about two weeks before we need to come up with key measurements to finalise a prcocess for all. it fells like leading yourself to the altar to be slaughtered. 

instead of dealing with the emotional whatever i was experiencing, i cropped up.  And when last friday's meeting happened, the dam wall burst !  i cried for two days. 

today, monday, 30/01/2006, my manager and myself  had a discussion, discussed the process and i also informed him, i am definitely not ready to throw the towel in.  i am in the race. 

still nerve wrecking however i will not give up without a fight. 

coming back to you, Momsrule, you really need to take care of yourself.  If Dr Phill would talk to you he would say to you: In order to provide your children with the best mom they will ever find, Mom need to look after herself, be her own manager.  please do so...in this dogy dog world we live in.....we need to take care of ourselves everyday ! 

all the best:   ronel007 

You don't need great meals every night. My husband does the cooking because he gets home before me.  He does tacos, BBQ's, hamburgers, pizza, cooks on the grill, chicken stir frys,  fish sticks and tator tots, and stuff like that. We do crockpot meals too. Plus on weekends I make up different meals to just heat up in the oven. Hope this helps. Good Luck.