Topic : I Want to Adopt

Hi, your story seems so close to mine, I have raised 3 wonderful boys, but lost contact with my niece who was adopted 5yrs ago with her 2 younger brothers.The adopted parent moved to Newfoundland to raised them then after 5 yrs of raising her due to behaviour problem they decided they could not take care of her any longer, so they gave her back to Children, Aid Society in Newfoundland and they moved back to Ottawa with her brothers, I have raised this little Angel for 8 yrs, in my home she was a happy child with no worries watesover, we had a special bond togerther, and Children,s Aid Society alway supported us as a loving family, but now I have a lawyer who could not believe this story, I am working 2 jobs to pay my lawyer on bi-weekly basis but we are trying to adopted  her but it seems because she is in another city, it is vey complicted since we do not have  the funds to even make phone calls to them. I am praying and hoping every day to see my little girl now (12yrs old) walk through my front door. She has lost her mom and dad, she lost visitation or contact with us her aunt, uncle and her cousins, lost her adopted mom, now lost her 2 brothers how more can a child go throuh, she has been asking to see me since she was adopted and now one has gave her permission to, now finally they gave me an update picture of her but  hopefuly my lawyer will bring some positive news in the next couple of weeks.

I know that as my son who is now 4-1/2yrs. old gets older he will have many questions about life.  (as does my biological son who is almost 11yrs). We have had him since day one.  He knows that he was not in mommies belly (we laugh and say that Tyler broke the belly) But he knows about his birth Angel (that is what we call her) because in my eyes she is and always be my angel. We don't make a huge deal about him being adopted. Because even the Judge said he is not just adopted he is chosen And he is.....I have some info on his birth mother. And I will do everything to help him find her when he gets older. In a perfect world we would ALL be happy and have what we want. But as many of us know we along with the world are not perfect. And although there are some who don't think adoption is right. Weather it be the older adopted child or someone who wants to speak there mind. (and that is ok too.. we have free speech)  I feel that as long as there is a child  that needs a family we as humans (race,religion,sex doesn't matter) must  act. So weather we our the ones that are unable to concive a child. Or we just feel the need to open our homes to a child who needs it. We need to STOP making Adoption look so dark and ugly! Because it is our fault in the first place if a child may feel unwanted. If adults make adoption feel like it's a wonderful thing then our children (adopted or not) will follow our lead!

Actually, if you ask me, birth parents and adoptive parents are BOTH real parents.  Birth parents who take the time and the energy to make sure to find a good home for their child in the event that they cannot do the job of raising the child at that time can be considered real parents.  The child simply will not be living with them, that's all.  However, I agree that the words "birth parent" and "adoptive parent" are better simply to avoid confusion.  The people who just abandon their babies are awful people, but still, you have to consider that with the availability of abortion these days, they at least didn't opt for that horrible option.  To leave a baby at a hospital, DSS, or a police station is better than nothing, ya know?

I wanted to let everybody know who was interested that I've found a family for my unborn child and I have completed all the paperwork for my own adoption - in reverse.  (I'm placing this baby for adoption.)  It's been a bit time consuming and some people think that I'm giving up, copping out, being irresponsible, etc., but I am trying to ignore those comments and focus on the ones who tell me that I know what is best in my situation and that adoption is a lovely gift for those who cannot have children.  I'm due in a month and I actually look forward to making this couple that I've chosen parents.  They have been well approved by the agency that I've been working with, so I'm sure they deserve the privilege of being parents.  Good luck to all of you who are looking for good birth parents to help you become parents for life.

Tracy

In my opinion, it's people like this who treat children as property and not as the fine people that they are.  I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you.  It would have been nice if she terminated her parental rights in jail.  I mean, my God, if I knew I was going to be away from my child for that long, I'd think about it, depending on the age of the child.  And then she won't even let you SEE the child after all you've done for her?  Ingrate!  I think she's just overly insecure, too, because she knows that until she establishes a relationship with her own child, that child would without a doubt prefer to be with you.  I hate that for you.  I hope you find a child of your own soon, too.  You sound like you'd make a good foster mom in the meantime, though.  Why not look into that?  Have a good week.

Tracy

Hi,

I read that you would like to adopt an older child. I know a heart warming 13 year old girl. she is looking for a home. If you'd like to find out more info on her please e-mail at bismafazeen@yahoo.com

thank you

I wanted to respond to your message.

Remember your young and you have your whole life ahead of you, as you stated you don't think you will meet the right person until like 40 or 50.  The right person will come along and you realize that you really care for this person and things just seem to fall in place and workout.  One morning while drinking your coffee after about 5 to 7 years of that relationship, you will wonder where all that time went seems like it just flew bye. 

I think that it is a good idea to adopt, there are always great kids in need of a home, but before you consider that, consider the fact that most of them have been traumatized or have already been on an emontional rollercoaster and need a VERY stable, loving, safe home.  Make sure you have your *hit together before you even consider that route. 

Hope this helps you and good luck.