Topic : I Want to Adopt

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about seven years.  The last time we tried we were so positive and really thought it would work, but we were dissappointed.  Since then we have made the decision to adopt.  We have met with two different adoption agencies.  They both seem promising.  My only issue now is where to come up with the money.  Did you know that it roughly costs $30,000.  We went to the bank and the guy practically laughed us out of the room.  With the way our economy is right now the bank loan doesn't seem to be possible.  The only thing that seems like an option is using every once of credit we have.  I know all we keep hearing though is that you need to pay that credit off.  What are we suppose to do?  Every penny you pay for an adoption is nonrefundable.  We aren't getting any younger and the adoption process, when you start, could take up to three years.  I am about to lose my mind.  All I've ever wanted is to be a mom.  How do we move forward?  We both work.  How do we make our dreams come true without putting ourselves in more and more dept?

I live in PA.  My husband and I have just within the last month talked to an agency about adopting from China.  They told us the wait would be 2-3 years which we decided we could handle.  We were told the reason for the wait is because of the change in China's criteria.  People that had adopted from there before knew they wouldn't pass this new criteria and everyone threw a dossier in at one time which overloaded China's government.  Supposedly now that group is slowly going over to pick up their children.  The wait is suppose to become less eventually.  We are praying for this adoption to happen.  We are just like you, we can't wait to be parents!!!  Our issue now is finding the money!!

Thanks so much for your advice!   I greatly appreciate any I can get.  My husband and I have talked about foreign adoption and both are open to it.  We both feel a child is blessing no matter where it comes from.  We are going to try the IUI 2 more times.  If it doesn't work than I will move on to the adoption process.  I would rather put money towards this then try the IVF at ($15,000) a pop and it not work.  Unfortunately we still have the issue of figuring how the heck to come up with the money for that to.  Only time will tell.  Thanks again, emtgirl 

Dear birthmother,

 

     I admire you so much!!!  It takes a very strong woman to do something so wonderfull for someone else.  I think you are 100% correct you know whats right for you.  That's very admirable!!  I myself don't know if I could be as strong as you.   I would only hope I would be.   My husband and are also trying to concieve.  I'm  going to try the IUI process 2 more times over the next 2 months.   If it doesn't work I can only hope to be fortunate enough to find someone like you to make my dream of becoming a mother come true.  I wish you all the best!   emtgirl73

Maybe I'm not supposed to do this. I started it once and somehow lost it but I'm going to try it again. A new friend with experience similar to this subject has told me to get the word out, to let people know what I am so desperate to do. I am unable to have children. Ironically, for as long as I can remember, this is all I have ever wanted to do. I had dreams for many years of reopening an abandoned schoolhouse in my hometown as an orphanage for children in my neighborhood. I had no doubts that I would have many children, my own and adopted. Now that I am older, my body wants to have babies, needs to really, but it can't and it cant figure out why. My head can't seem to make sense of it. I cannot seem to accept it, no matter how hard I try. I've never been one to give up. I've been known to be a tad bit lazy but others say I'm like the Little Engine That Could. The truth is however that I will not birth my own child. I will not satisfy my dream of having twins. That is the bottom line. That does not make my dream of raising children any less important in my life. I know sometimes, we woman make the wrong choices and end up in situations we are not prepared for. Sometimes unfortunate things happen and we are left with an upwanted pregnancy but not comfortable with abortion. Some families, especially lately, have a child or two and are surprisingly expecting another but feel they just can't afford another mouth to feed. Children are God's most precious gift and all deserve to be loved and protected, taken care of and given every opportunity any human being deserves. I am not a religious person but I believe things happen for a reason. I believe there is a lesson for me to learn through not being able to have a child. Maybe there is a child, to now unborn, that needs to learn lessons from me or someone in my life. There is a plan for me and I can't change it. I need to though, take action. I can't just follow the path and hope for things to come my way. I have spent many years hoping and praying for different things to be or to happen but if I sit back and do nothing, I will probably get nothing. I want to raise a child. I want to feel the unconditional love that I have for my parents. I want to mold someone and see them smell flowers for the first time. I want to see my child write their name for the first time and hear someone call me Mommy. I want to watch the school bus drive away and hear my baby sing a song he learned in kindergarden.
Please keep me in your mind. I hear there are alot of woman out there dealing with similar situations or desperate woman looking for a home for their expected child. I have alot of love to give. I am in a loving commited marriage and we want nothing more then to share our lives with your baby.

My husband & I have been married for 13yrs. We've tried to conceive for over 4yrs. During this time is when I found out that I had a blocked tube. The next year I had a tubal pregnancy causing me to loose the other tube. With the female problems that I've had since 16, I was told by the Drs that I would be lucky if I could carry full term if I got pregnant any other way. So, we've decided to adopt. We've wanted children since day 1, but we are not as fortunate as others to complete our years of trying, dreaming, & planning our future as a completed family. We believe that it's a true Blessing from God to give birth. Only God knows the future of that child/children & if it's adoption, that's someone else He & you have been a Blessing to. We are approved by DSS but they seem to take forever, in which the birth family have no part in the decisions made, & the court could take up to 2yrs. We are 36 & we want to be there for everything in our children's lives, we don't want to miss a thing, so we don't want to wait 'til someone else tells we're ready for the one they chose for us. God knows we've waited long enough, many years. We like the idea of the birth family choosing who they want their child to be taken care of, loved, & supported for the rest of their lives. The ones that are doing this for the right reasons should be involved in the decision. This way they're comfortable in knowing they made the right decision & the child will get everything in life that they deserve & more. Adoption is not throwing any child away, it's giving a child a chance to have more than enough with adoptive parents. Who knows, the child, you, & the adoptive parents could be angels sent to complete the lives of each other. We just pray that we're Blessed enough to have someone like you to help us in our journey.      

If interest PLEASE email us @ tcobb95@yahoo.com

My husband and I are facing a similar situation, we've been trying for 10 years to have a child together.  We lost two to miscarriages, but we were still trying.  We have a combined family, but we really wanted one together.  My two were born when I was young and are now grown, but weren't born in happy circumstances and my life is so much better now.  My husband's two children live with his wife and we don't get to see them very often anymore since she moved so far away.

 

We looked at adoption out of the country, but the beginning cost is enormous.  We had agreed that if we couldn't have one of our own by this year we would adopt, but now loans aren't as available today due to the economic crisis. 

 

My husband was adopted.  So besides wanted another child to love we feel this would be a way of giving back for the gift that was given to him.  The costs and the waiting time is enormous.  My brother and sister-in-law are in the process right now of adopting from out of the country and they are 2 years into the process now and still have possibly another 2 years to go before they receive their child.  And all this time they know who she is and have pictures of her, but the process is just so long.  I feel sad that the child has to be in an orphanage all that time without loving parents.

 

Anyway, right now we are trying to find out about adoption in the U.S. to see what we need to do.  I'm trying to learn now what we need to do.  All of our relatives went through different countries.  But as we are seeing on the news daily about families giving away their children to the state, I feel there are children here that need homes right now.  So, we decided that's where we would begin our research. 

 

We would love a baby, but I think that would take too much longer and I think there are more available homes for infants.  Maybe I'm wrong.  I feel time is ticking away so fast.  We wouldn't mind adopting a 3 to 5 year old either.  If anyone has information that could help us please let me know.

I admire your courage and selflessness.  Making the choice of creating an adoption plan for your child must be one of the most difficult choices you will ever make.  My husband and I have had the honor of being chosen as adoptive parents to our two year old son.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about the love and sacrafice our son's birthmother made when she made the adoption plan for her son.  Because of her courage, grace, selflessness and love we have the privelage each day of being parents.  From the day that I first laid my eyes on the fuzzy referral photo of a 3 month old baby boy with big brown eyes I instantly fell in love and new he was meant to be our son.  Today, two years later... I couldn't imagine life with out him.  As he grows older I will help him to understand the depth of our love for him and the depth of the love his birth mother had for him when she made the choice to give him the opportunity for a life that she couldn't provide for him.  We hope to someday again be chosen to be parents of a second child so we can complete our family and give our son the brother/sister he deserves.  I would love to learn more about the adoption plan you are creating for your child.

I couldn't agree with you more!  It 's like..."oh well we can't have our own natural child so we will just SETTLE for adopting one!