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Topic : I Want to Adopt

Number of Replies: 474
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:23:45 pm
Author : dataimport
Has infertility struggling left you ready to bring a child into your home through adoption? Are you finished having kids but feel the need to share your home with one more child? Share your reasons for wanting to adopt and love for children with us.

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January 20, 2006, 7:55 am CST

so true

Quote From: myfaith

It's hard not being able to concieve when all you wanted to do is fall in love, get married, get pregnant and deliever a baby.  When I was done with having babies then I wanted to adopt at least 1 or 2 children as I wanted 6 children all together.  Before I met my husband I had 5 non-cancerous ovarian cysts that all ruptured encluding the 3 firbroids.  After the first rupture to the last which was five months... I swealled up like I was 8 to 9 months pregnant I had to go buy maturnity clothes cause my clothes didn't fit.  I even had numerous strangers ask me if it's a boy or girl, if I had names picked out, when my due date was ect...that was hard.  After the first year of marriage I went through pregnancy signs for 1 year as my breast swealled and had all day sickness.  I come to find out that my prolactin level increased causing a pituitary tumor that wasn't cancerous and I was full of milk.  They actually gave me the drug dostinex...the same drug they give new mom's to dry up their milk.  I lived two years of pregnancy signs until the tumor shrunk.  In the mean time I continued to swell up  off and on but only looking like I was about 6 to 7 months along.  I've been going through a roller coster of emotions of not having a child with my husband especailly in the last two years to three years.  It's not easy looking and feeling like your 6 to 7 months pregnant without having any baby in the end.  It's been a hard five years but I have a very supportive husband and family who cant wait for the day when God blesses us with our child.  My heart yearns to hold my child and tell him/her how much I love them and I know my husband does also.  I have alot of friends who have adopted internationally and domestically...It is a hard long wait, but don't get discouraged.  Timing is everything.  I don't know where you are in your faith, but God hears our cries and prayers and He is picking out the right child for us.  Our pastor and his wife just adopted a baby girl domestically and their first was internationally.  We are having a shower for her this Saturday and I always get a gift that is heart felt and different than what other people give.  I picked up this picture frame/plack at Northwestern Bible Book Store and when I saw it I knew this was for them.  Under the place where the picture goes it says:  "For this child I prayed...and the Lord has heard my prayers." 1 Samuel 1:27.  Then on the side of the picture it's titled "Gift from God " and it says: Thank You, Lord, for giving us this precious child to love.  May God bless this special gift so fresh from His own heart.  Then another scripture under that which says: Children are a gift from the Lord.  Psalm 127:3.  When I read it I cried as it's so true for them as they prayed 17 years for this little one.   Another reason I cried is that my husband and I have been praying for our child who has not yet come into our lives for 5 years but I've been praying for my children for a total of 14 years.  For 18 years I've prayed for my husband to come into my life and finally he did.  God answered my prayer for my husband and I know that He will answer my prayer for two children for us to adopt.  It's his timing not ours...we just have to be patient.  Like I said God is never early, never late but always on time.   

     Did you get a refural yet?  Your paperwork is approved by the agency or INS?  What agency are you with?  Keep me posted and I will be praying for you.    

I wanted to let you know your words are beautiful.  For so long, I waned to know why I couldn't get pregnant when so many other people could.  We tried for so long.  One day we decided to go to an adoption education seminar.  We were warned that we would probably leave feeling a little overwhelmed and not knowing if it was for us or not.  We left knowing without a doubt that it was the right choice for us.  I always wanted to adopt and we discussed it before we got married.  I have two sisters who were adopted, and I wanted to continue that tradition.  We knew getting pregnant would be difficult, but we didn't know it would be impossible.  I had been diagnosed with PCOS as a teen.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I have now adopted twice and I can honestly say, God's plan is bigger and better and more perfect than anything I could ever dream up on my own.  I still want to add to our family and finances are always hard, but He ALWAYS provides a way.

I will pray for you.
 
January 20, 2006, 8:21 am CST

i want to adopt, but husband don't

he there.  both my common law spouse and i are young,like 26 and 23. we have to small children and i would like to now adopt. i have had my tubes tied, because in my way of  thinking there are so many little ones out there that have no one why make more kids when we coud give someone a home?! my husband says he does not know. we do not have the moey to privatly adopt. and would we just be setting our selves up for a whole lot of heartache that not be needed?? my husband says if we were to have our own at least we would know what we would be getting.. i see all those little faces and just want so badly to give them a place to sleep where they know that they will be waking up, i want to teach them to count and how to love.(you know all the things that they don't have- STABILITY) let me know what you think. thanks
 
January 20, 2006, 9:12 am CST

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: gizzmoe

he there.  both my common law spouse and i are young,like 26 and 23. we have to small children and i would like to now adopt. i have had my tubes tied, because in my way of  thinking there are so many little ones out there that have no one why make more kids when we coud give someone a home?! my husband says he does not know. we do not have the moey to privatly adopt. and would we just be setting our selves up for a whole lot of heartache that not be needed?? my husband says if we were to have our own at least we would know what we would be getting.. i see all those little faces and just want so badly to give them a place to sleep where they know that they will be waking up, i want to teach them to count and how to love.(you know all the things that they don't have- STABILITY) let me know what you think. thanks

The first thing that I notice is that the two of you don't appear to be together in this decision yet.  That is the first thing you need to conquer! 

  

We made sure we both wanted to do this before taking the first step..REALLY wanted to.  We are in the process right now and in my opinion, adoption is a very stressful, emotional and difficult process to go through.  You will be on a rollercoaster ride like no other.  You will be thoroughly excited one minute, disappointed, confused or scared the next.  If you are not going through this process with the same enthusiasm, support and goals, then it could tear you apart. 

  

In addition to the 'ride' that I mentioned, you have to realize that you are going through all this, emotionally and financially with absolutely NO guarantees.  Once you are 'accepted' for a placement, you will want to paint the nursery and get it prepared, tell all your friends and family, go shopping, dream of holding this baby in your arms and tucking them in at night...and, in most cases, spend a great deal of money.  All of this could be in vain if the placement falls through...and they can and do, even at the last minute. 

  

Your partner is right, you DON'T know what is going to happen.  You are relying on strangers to be telling you the complete truth about their history, including medical.  There are no guarantees that if the bmom says there has been no drug abuse, or that there aren't any health and/or generic worries, that she is being honest.  I sincerely don't want to sound negative about the adoption process and especially about the bmom's who so unselfishly go through this and do what's best for the child, but you HAVE to look at this decision with a very clear view of reality and be prepared for anything.  You have to be ready to accept this child who may or may not have inherited 'issues'.  You have no guarantees when you have a child biologically either, but at least you know your own history.  If you aren't willing to accept and risk the possibility of someone not being honest about theirs, then it's not the right thing for you to do. 

  

Again, if you don't have the proper support from your partner, this could tear you up and ruin your relationship.  Make sure you both REALLY wants to do this before you get too emotionally wrapped up in the idea. 

  

By the way, a lot of agencies require that you are married...not all, but many do. 

  

Good luck in whatever decision you make! 

 
January 23, 2006, 3:13 pm CST

Thank You

Quote From: seesha

I wanted to let you know your words are beautiful.  For so long, I waned to know why I couldn't get pregnant when so many other people could.  We tried for so long.  One day we decided to go to an adoption education seminar.  We were warned that we would probably leave feeling a little overwhelmed and not knowing if it was for us or not.  We left knowing without a doubt that it was the right choice for us.  I always wanted to adopt and we discussed it before we got married.  I have two sisters who were adopted, and I wanted to continue that tradition.  We knew getting pregnant would be difficult, but we didn't know it would be impossible.  I had been diagnosed with PCOS as a teen.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I have now adopted twice and I can honestly say, God's plan is bigger and better and more perfect than anything I could ever dream up on my own.  I still want to add to our family and finances are always hard, but He ALWAYS provides a way.

I will pray for you.
For your prayers.  I know that I know that I know we are supposed to adopt.  I really need them to stay focused on God's plan.  Satan likes to steal the joy of becoming a Mom to this long awaited infant but I wont allow him to do that. 
 
January 28, 2006, 8:54 am CST

just waiting

 Hi 

 My husband and I have 3 wonderful children ages 16,14,& 11. We thought we were finished but as the years progressed we realized we wanted to add to our family. We decided to pursue adoption. We don't make a ton of money but we make enough to live quite comfortably. We thought about overseas adoption but it is just so-o-o expensive we didn't want to put ourselves into that kind of financial bind. Besides which we were not sure we wanted to do the newborn thing again. We decided to adopt a child(  or sibling group of 2) over the age of 3 or 4 but under 9. (we want to keep the birth order of our bio children so they don't feel their position in our family is threatened.) We have a completed and approved homestudy done and now we are just waiting to find the right child. It has been almost 2 years since we began the process. Sometimes it is hard to wait but I'm thankful for the children we already have. We have declined a couple of children already because their needs were just too much for our family. We are also wanting to add a little girl to our family since we already have a girl and 2 boys. Sometimes I feel we are being too picky but our social worker is great. She ensures us we have to be because we are building our family and it has to fit. I have to mention we are going through children's services because here in our home province in Canada there are no real expenses if you go that route. We haven't had to pay for anything except gas to go to several meetings. I want to encourage those of you who may not be able to have biological children to check this avenue. There are so many children out there. I often check the photolistings of various states and it breaks my heart to see their little faces. Sometimes these sites say they offer adoption subsidies. There are ways to find the right child for your family if you are willing to try different options and be aware of the difficulties. 

 
January 30, 2006, 9:53 am CST

Adopting

It is great that you want to adopt - but take it from someone that has adopted - it is great, but don't get to greedy.  My husband and i adopted because we can't have children and we know what it is like to play the waiting game - and it is even harder when we where  waiting to adopt our fist child and someone that already has children is also adopting and take available children away from those that are waiting to adopt with no children, and unable to have children. 

 
January 30, 2006, 12:14 pm CST

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: cmv12v

It is great that you want to adopt - but take it from someone that has adopted - it is great, but don't get to greedy.  My husband and i adopted because we can't have children and we know what it is like to play the waiting game - and it is even harder when we where  waiting to adopt our fist child and someone that already has children is also adopting and take available children away from those that are waiting to adopt with no children, and unable to have children. 

First of all, I don't believe we are taking kids away from others. There are way too many kids in the system for that. As I also stated we do not want an infant like most people who are waiting to adopt. Ultimately it is the social workers who decide if a child is a good fit for your family before they even present the child to you for your final decision. We think that if God(or Whomever you choose to believe in) decides that it is right for us to have other children then it will happen. If not, then so be it. The final decision lies with Him.
 
January 30, 2006, 1:36 pm CST

agree re: teepee

Quote From: cmv12v

It is great that you want to adopt - but take it from someone that has adopted - it is great, but don't get to greedy.  My husband and i adopted because we can't have children and we know what it is like to play the waiting game - and it is even harder when we where  waiting to adopt our fist child and someone that already has children is also adopting and take available children away from those that are waiting to adopt with no children, and unable to have children. 

 I just wanted to let you know that I agree with what teepee said.  I have two beautiful children through adoption.  I do not have any bio kids, but I am most definately a mother and I have my gorgeous children.  Does that mean I shouldn't adopt again because some people still don't have kids?  No!!!  I will have the number of kids God wants me to have and in the way He wants me to have them.  There are thousands of kids "slipping through the cracks" because of all the people who want to adopt, but will only adopt infants.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not against infant adoption, I've done it twice so far.  Mine just happened to turn out that way.  I'm not trying to offend you.  Have you discussed your feelings with your social worker or a counselor?  It sounds like you may still have some unresolved infertility issues.  I will be praying for you.
 
January 30, 2006, 3:36 pm CST

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: seesha

 I just wanted to let you know that I agree with what teepee said.  I have two beautiful children through adoption.  I do not have any bio kids, but I am most definately a mother and I have my gorgeous children.  Does that mean I shouldn't adopt again because some people still don't have kids?  No!!!  I will have the number of kids God wants me to have and in the way He wants me to have them.  There are thousands of kids "slipping through the cracks" because of all the people who want to adopt, but will only adopt infants.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not against infant adoption, I've done it twice so far.  Mine just happened to turn out that way.  I'm not trying to offend you.  Have you discussed your feelings with your social worker or a counselor?  It sounds like you may still have some unresolved infertility issues.  I will be praying for you.
I totally agree that if a couple has there own bio children than they need to realize that many people as myself are not able to have my own and want to adopt.  so yes I think adoptive children should go to parents who can't have kids.
 
January 30, 2006, 3:54 pm CST

Please help us find a infant

My husband and myself are foster parents and adopted a little boy through fostering.  When we first had our little boy in our lives he was close to being 19mths old.  I have fostered 3 infants so far through fostering and they all went to thier grandparents, which i don't agree with,  I just wish that I could've kept them and it just broke my heart each time I had to give them up knowing that they probably would never have a real chance of a normal mom and dad family.  I just wish I could be one of those lucky people who got to see their adoptive infant be born or even the day after knowing that I would not have to give them back to anyone.  I wish Dr. Phil or someone could help make our dreams come true with a little baby girl or even a boy.  We went through fostering hoping to find children to adopt because after researhing many adoption agencys they are so expensive its unreal!  Its all about the money and thats something we don't have a lot of, so does that mean we don't deserve to be parents of a newborn....  A while back I seen a story on the news that a attorney was placing mixed babies in other countries placements - because the attorney found a way to make money, had nothing to do with not able to find homes in the US for  biracial babies, because here I sat dreaming of a baby, just as many like me do to.  I hope before my days of taking care of a infant pass that someone will make it easier for real loving people with not lots of money find the happiness that could be in their lives.   I feel like I'm screaming and know one hears me...
 
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