Hello! this is the first time I have been here! Here is part of my story. I was adopted myself and raised in a very loving home. I have always known that I would be unable to have children. I asked my mom when she told me, cause it seemed like I always new. She said I was around 9 or 10. i was born with no uterus. I also found out that my birth mom tried to abort me, well oops!! obviously didn;t work. Some seem to think that my developing uterus was damaged when it occured. Fast forward into my life.. Met my husband Stan in '95 we were discussing birth-control of course he needed to use a condom, but there was no need for birth-control for me. We had gotten pretty close in a short amount of time and I knew that he wanted children.... So I told him of my circumstances. he held me and told me I was "all the more special" Fast forward a few more years. Got married moved to CO where i worked at the Community Health Center. i was director of outreach and I loved it. I had the chance to meet a wonderful young girl "Stacy". She had an 18 month old and was currently 6-7months pregnant. She asked as I was playing with her child how many children I had. I just out and told her my story!! She said she had an adoption plan, but hadn't found the "right parents" yet. To fast forward yet again... Joshua was born June 11, 2000. She wanted Stan and I in the delivery room to cut the umbilical cord. Wow!! what a feeling... We had Joshua for 5 days when i got a call from the Social Worker, she wanted the baby back and there was nothing we could do. i colapsed! I even tried calling her nothing worked. My husband rushed home from work after my phone call, running all the red lights. He told the Socail Worker that we would have to meet her somewhere since she was not taking "our child" from us out of our home. We met in a parking lot. I couldn't physically hand Joshua over. My husband gently took him from my arms with tears running down his face. She turned and put him in the car. It was heart-renching. My husband, not a very emotional guy (cept at our wedding and the birth of Joshua) walked a few feet away, dropped to his knees and sobbed. People when you see the love of your life in such pain (he thought big guys dont show emotion he's 6'2 230 lbs) Your life wants to end. Fast Forward yet again (thank goodness!) We found out about Jakob who was born at 23 weeks gesatation and had severe medical needs. He was currently in foster care with virtually no hope for being adopted. I though for sure that my husband who was an x-athlete and who qualified for the Olympic Trials wouldn't want this child. Boy was I wrong!! We met jakob at he is foster-mothers home. he was pre-surgical (for cleft-lip and palate) He had the most amazing smile!!! We fell in love instantly! We spent all the time we could with him! I was able to be there with him when he went through his cleft-palate repair. He was only 10 months old and that was when we bonded!! We got Jakob in our home when he was 11months he was 9lbs and 23 inches long. He is now 6 yrs old, one woiuld never guess how early he was born. He is a happy, and active, outgoing kindergardner now. He has such a zest for life and I learn new things from him on a daily basis. Nopw the time has come when Stan and I are looking to adopt again course, Jakob wants a little "brodder" or "tister" doen't matter to him. To all, when things look their bleakest, there is always a ray of hope around the corner, if you choose to keep your heart and mind open....
Jenn
