Topic : I Want to Adopt

During lunch today I watched an episode of Dr. Phil that I had previously recorded.  I believe the episode aired Friday February 23rd and it was about the brave and courageous women who were manipulated and believed the same woman had a baby for each of them.  During the episode I cried, I cheered, I spoke angry words and I agreed with much of the advice.  I could feel deeply the pain the women were sharing.  Fortunately I haven't hung my hopes on the words of someone who didn't mean them however as my desperation to have a child has grown I can easily see myself in their shoes. 

My husband and I have been married for 7 years and I've been diagnoised with PCOS.  From all we've read and studied as well as what the specialists tell us the odds aren't in our favor especially as I rapidly approach 37.  My husband's father passed away when he was 4 so while a biological child is ideal (since he missed that relationship with his father) he isn't willing to give up fatherhood since biology doesn't appear to agree with me. 

We are anxious to adopt an infant and have retained a lawyer to help us in our search.  After seeing the show and the family in the audience who were blessed with two little girls I felt compelled to post on this board.  I believe in miracles and luck so if you're reading this and want to contact us feel free.

If you have advice you'd be willing to share we'd love to listen. 

Simply put I found these woman to be brave  and courageous because of their willingness to share their story publicly.  I don't believe their anger was solely because they didn't receive a newborn I think they were angry in large part because they felt manipulated.  

So, what happens to the 'fresh newborn' when they are not adopted right away?  Don't they become the next 'children who are already available'?   If both are available, why shouldn't the couple who is adopting have a choice?

The adoption industry knows how the time period after giving birth is crucial for both the mother and child. They know this is the time when nature between the two takes it's natural course. So what does the adoption industry tell adopters? They call it  "a high risk time" for adopters and encorurage adopters to "be there at that time" knowing full well this is a coercive tactic. 

Also the medical community has well established that the 6 week check up is the recovery time after giving birth. Having her make decisions and sign legal documents immediately after birth, when she is not in medically physical or mental condition is exploitation at it's worse.

Soliciting pregnant mothers for her newborn is no different than preying on human beings. Few mothers want adoption for their child to begin with. The help she needs isn't help in taking her baby, least of all, expecting a mother to sign legal papers only 24 hours after birth. It is cruel and inhumane to both mother and child not to be given a true opportunity  together. It is cruel and inhumane to think anyone has the right to intrude on it. For god's sake society has more compassion for animals, not to take them from their mother as soon as it's born.  There should be NO newborn adoptions,  there's no reason good enough to justify it.  

Pleeze, that's just it - they  weren't  just angry, they were enraged.  Someone capable of  that kind of rage needs help, not a baby.

There should be NO newborn adoptions,  there's no reason good enough to justify it.  

Whether you want to see it, or not, there ARE birth mothers who make that decision on their own and are firm on that decision once they do.  That doesn't mean it's an easy decision, but they will not be changing their mind due to circumstances around them. 

In this type of situation, there SHOULD be newborn adoptions.  Why, you might ask?  Because where is that child going to be for the next few weeks, if they aren't placed in the permanent home from the beginning?  THAT is a good enough reason to justify it.

Not giving a new mother the opportunity to change her mind is the point, isn't it, of getting her signature within hours of giving birth.

Soliciting a pregnant  mother for her newborn is an insidious predatory practice.  Enough said.