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Topic : I Want to Adopt

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:23:45 pm
Author : dataimport
Has infertility struggling left you ready to bring a child into your home through adoption? Are you finished having kids but feel the need to share your home with one more child? Share your reasons for wanting to adopt and love for children with us.

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chillin'
March 12, 2007, 8:04 pm PDT

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: kumabear

During lunch today I watched an episode of Dr. Phil that I had previously recorded.  I believe the episode aired Friday February 23rd and it was about the brave and courageous women who were manipulated and believed the same woman had a baby for each of them.  During the episode I cried, I cheered, I spoke angry words and I agreed with much of the advice.  I could feel deeply the pain the women were sharing.  Fortunately I haven't hung my hopes on the words of someone who didn't mean them however as my desperation to have a child has grown I can easily see myself in their shoes. 

 

My husband and I have been married for 7 years and I've been diagnoised with PCOS.  From all we've read and studied as well as what the specialists tell us the odds aren't in our favor especially as I rapidly approach 37.  My husband's father passed away when he was 4 so while a biological child is ideal (since he missed that relationship with his father) he isn't willing to give up fatherhood since biology doesn't appear to agree with me. 

 

We are anxious to adopt an infant and have retained a lawyer to help us in our search.  After seeing the show and the family in the audience who were blessed with two little girls I felt compelled to post on this board.  I believe in miracles and luck so if you're reading this and want to contact us feel free.

 

If you have advice you'd be willing to share we'd love to listen. 

I'm new to the boards but starting reading a few and notice you were diagnosed with PCOS the same as me. I'm 35 now but had to get a total hysterectomy when I was 30. I always dreamed of starting a family too, but now its not possible. I've been looking into adoption for a few yrs. now but the fees are so expensive. I pray every day and night and know when the right child comes my way God will help me figure everything out.
 
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chillin'
March 12, 2007, 8:18 pm PDT

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: alligatorgirl

I too have suffered with PCOS since I was in my teens....I was told I would never have children as well, and it was the worst thing you could ever tell someone. I was always very positive about life and though that if I gave up hope it was sure to never happen... I learned from many friends that by going to a Chiropractor and taking specific supplements (Vitamins/ herbs.. ect ) that it could possible help my symptoms... Much to my surprise I found myself pregnant as well... and My beautiful daughter was born... She is now 13 and we are trying again to get pregnant and or adopt... but I understand your pain and suffering.  It is such a hard path to go down, trying everything to get a baby to love and raise... I often wonder why its all the good mothers of the world that have to work so hard to get pregnant and adopt.. and yet there are mothers out there that could care less about their kids or have abortions, or even abandon their children... why aren't  they the ones with PCOS???? and not us!  I know its hard but it can and will happen for you... just never give up the fight  finding and hoping for your unborn children. dont be a victum of PCOS>>>> but yet a mother with PCOS... and why arent more dr.'s finding out about cures for this?
I to have PCOS since I was a teen. It took the drs almost 10 yrs to diagnose me. I tried to have chidren but no luck. When I was 29 my luck ran out, I was sent to the hospital for a full hysterectomy. This was a few weeks before my birthday, nice right. I hear on the news about those women that through their babies away instead of bringing them to a safe drop off and just cry. I sit and wonder what my child would look like. I started looking into adoption but it is so expensive. I know God had a reason for me having this illness but....I wonder when will my time come to be called mommy,I'm 35 now, I want to enjoy a child while I'm young.
 
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hopeful
March 12, 2007, 8:43 pm PDT

looking for our angel

When I was a teen having alot of hrmone problems. It took 10 yrs for the drs to diagnose me with PCOS. I spend thousands thru the years to try to get relief from this illness with no success. I also tried to get pregnant with no success as well. I always thought I did something wrong to have to deal with this. My life was over at age 29 when a few weeks before my 30th birthday I had to undergo a total hysterectomy, my dreams of being a mommy was gone for ever. Then I started looking into adoption, maybe that was Gods plan for me to help give a loving home to a needy child. The fees for adoption are out of control. These children dream of being part of a family but not many to be good parents can afford it. I listen to the news and hear about those women throwing their babies away instead of bring them to a safe drop off or just giving them to a family that wants one. I pray every day someone will find me and give me a child, or maybe open my door and there they are (wishful thinking). I know if its meant to be God will help me find a way to make it possible.
 
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March 13, 2007, 10:57 pm PDT

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: kumabear

Simply put I found these woman to be brave  and courageous because of their willingness to share their story publicly.  I don't believe their anger was solely because they didn't receive a newborn I think they were angry in large part because they felt manipulated.  

 

Pleeze, that's just it - they  weren't  just angry, they were enraged.  Someone capable of  that kind of rage needs help, not a baby.

 
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March 14, 2007, 1:54 am PDT

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: smitty0099

So, what happens to the 'fresh newborn' when they are not adopted right away?  Don't they become the next 'children who are already available'?   If both are available, why shouldn't the couple who is adopting have a choice?

The adoption industry knows how the time period after giving birth is crucial for both the mother and child. They know this is the time when nature between the two takes it's natural course. So what does the adoption industry tell adopters? They call it  "a high risk time" for adopters and encorurage adopters to "be there at that time" knowing full well this is a coercive tactic. 

 

Also the medical community has well established that the 6 week check up is the recovery time after giving birth. Having her make decisions and sign legal documents immediately after birth, when she is not in medically physical or mental condition is exploitation at it's worse.

 

Soliciting pregnant mothers for her newborn is no different than preying on human beings. Few mothers want adoption for their child to begin with. The help she needs isn't help in taking her baby, least of all, expecting a mother to sign legal papers only 24 hours after birth. It is cruel and inhumane to both mother and child not to be given a true opportunity  together. It is cruel and inhumane to think anyone has the right to intrude on it. For god's sake society has more compassion for animals, not to take them from their mother as soon as it's born.  There should be NO newborn adoptions,  there's no reason good enough to justify it.  

 

 
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March 14, 2007, 11:59 am PDT

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: thebrewster

The adoption industry knows how the time period after giving birth is crucial for both the mother and child. They know this is the time when nature between the two takes it's natural course. So what does the adoption industry tell adopters? They call it  "a high risk time" for adopters and encorurage adopters to "be there at that time" knowing full well this is a coercive tactic. 

 

Also the medical community has well established that the 6 week check up is the recovery time after giving birth. Having her make decisions and sign legal documents immediately after birth, when she is not in medically physical or mental condition is exploitation at it's worse.

 

Soliciting pregnant mothers for her newborn is no different than preying on human beings. Few mothers want adoption for their child to begin with. The help she needs isn't help in taking her baby, least of all, expecting a mother to sign legal papers only 24 hours after birth. It is cruel and inhumane to both mother and child not to be given a true opportunity  together. It is cruel and inhumane to think anyone has the right to intrude on it. For god's sake society has more compassion for animals, not to take them from their mother as soon as it's born.  There should be NO newborn adoptions,  there's no reason good enough to justify it.  

 

There should be NO newborn adoptions,  there's no reason good enough to justify it.  

 

Whether you want to see it, or not, there ARE birth mothers who make that decision on their own and are firm on that decision once they do.  That doesn't mean it's an easy decision, but they will not be changing their mind due to circumstances around them. 

 

In this type of situation, there SHOULD be newborn adoptions.  Why, you might ask?  Because where is that child going to be for the next few weeks, if they aren't placed in the permanent home from the beginning?  THAT is a good enough reason to justify it.

 

 
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March 14, 2007, 12:01 pm PDT

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: thebrewster

Pleeze, that's just it - they  weren't  just angry, they were enraged.  Someone capable of  that kind of rage needs help, not a baby.

What, adoptive parents aren't allowed to be human?  Have you experienced this type of scam to know for sure how YOU would react?

 
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March 14, 2007, 7:22 pm PDT

We would love to be parents

Dear Dr. Phil,

My husband and I have been married for 18 happy years but have been unable to have a child of our own. We have gone through the fertility process and have lost three children, due to miss-charages, and just cannot go through the heart ache again. Unfortunetly the problem doesn't end there, we have spent a lot of money going through the fertility clinic as everybody knows is not cheap, and have had to pay a Surrogate to try and have a baby for us on top of that. The reason for the Surrogate is, that I am unable to have children due to having a kidney transplant. In fact I have had five kidney transplants, and as you know with any health problem you are turned away from a large number of agencies that you could adopt from. I am perfectly healthy other than the fact that I have had a kidney transplant, and would be a GREAT parent! But, no one will give us the chance, and to top it off we couldn't afford any of those agencies due to the amount of money that we have already spent and the money that they require. What should we do? Should we stop trying to have a child, and stop trying to ask for someone to help us, or should we just give up. I am not a quiter, but I am really at my witts end. How do I go on living with the heart ache and loss?

Thank you

Stacy Neumayer

 
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March 15, 2007, 2:17 am PDT

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: smitty0099

There should be NO newborn adoptions,  there's no reason good enough to justify it.  

 

Whether you want to see it, or not, there ARE birth mothers who make that decision on their own and are firm on that decision once they do.  That doesn't mean it's an easy decision, but they will not be changing their mind due to circumstances around them. 

 

In this type of situation, there SHOULD be newborn adoptions.  Why, you might ask?  Because where is that child going to be for the next few weeks, if they aren't placed in the permanent home from the beginning?  THAT is a good enough reason to justify it.

 

Not giving a new mother the opportunity to change her mind is the point, isn't it, of getting her signature within hours of giving birth.

Soliciting a pregnant  mother for her newborn is an insidious predatory practice.  Enough said.

 
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March 15, 2007, 6:39 am PDT

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: thebrewster

Not giving a new mother the opportunity to change her mind is the point, isn't it, of getting her signature within hours of giving birth.

Soliciting a pregnant  mother for her newborn is an insidious predatory practice.  Enough said.

Enough said?  Not quite.

 

Who solicited our birth mother?  Who do you claim is doing the soliciting of most birth mothers? 

 

Some birth mothers have no intention of changing their mind, or having any contact with the baby at all.  What do you feel is best for the child in that case?  Stay at the hospital for 6 weeks?  Go to a temporary home for 6 weeks, all while missing major bonding time? 

 
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