Topic : I Want to Adopt

My neice is pregnant with a black guys baby, she is white and the father is in jail.  She was going to have an abortion today, but she is 17 weeks and what they would have had to do she could not go through with it.  She now says she will keep the baby.  She has one little boy and can barely take care of him.  I am trying to talk her in to adoption.  I am trying to tell her their are people out there that really want a baby and cannot have one.  My neice is a very pretty girl but has always had a self esteem problem.  If you interested, please e-mail me at normajeanvader@yahoo.com

Worried Aunt

I have a 12 year old son from a previous marriage.  I am now remarried, and my current husband has known my child since he was 2 yrs old.  My ex is hardly involved in anything when it comes to our son.  He keeps popping in and out whenever he wants and always has the excuse that "a lot of things have been happening", it sounds like a broken record.  The state garnished his wages for child support  until he kept jumping from job to job, then, he would work and get paid under the table.  He does not contribute at all, except for buying our son toys and games (which is unimportant).

My son calls my current husband "dad" and sees his father more like a buddy than a dad.. I never kept my ex from seeing his child and never bad mouthed him in front of the boy, but, he cannot be trusted with being with our son  by himself due to his irresponsibility and instability.  Now, the last time I saw him was almost a month ago and have not heard from him ever since.  His ex (we keep in touch, and she also has a child from him) says that he may have up and left the state.  He is nowhere to be found.  If he did leave, this would make me upset because he left without saying goodbye to his children (I am like an auntie to his daughter).  For me, this is my last straw. .My current husband has been wanting to adopt my son as his own, but I always thought that it wouldn't be right because his dad is still alive, and he does show up every now and then.  Now, I am thinking more towards my husband adopting the boy. 

My husband and I have always been good friends to my ex and always give him advice on how to turn his life around.  As a friend, I still care for the man, but, If I hear from him again, I am wanting to give him an ultimatum; either get more involved in our son's life and pay child support, or give up his parental rights.. I feel that I have been nice enough for allowing my ex  to see our son (even though he does nothing for him)  and crazy enough not to pursue child support (the man has no money to bury himself in).  Now,  I am to the point that he should not have any legal rights to our son. God forbid if something would happen to me, I want my son to be in good hands.  I trust my husband more than anyone else because he loves my son like his own (I don't trust my family to care for my son).  He's christian, and a great father.  My son is a very happy, wonderful, kind, and well mannered kid, and he loves my husband very much.  I would like for him to continue to have a good and fruitful life. 

 Okay.. with my long, long story, here is my question.  Would it be mean to give him that ultimatum?  Does anyone know what the procedure is for adoption if I do not hear from my ex? 

I am not able to adopt, I wish I could, but I think that it's a good idea to put the baby up for adoption.  There are definitely folks out  there that would be more than happy to adopt, especially those that cannot have babies.  It would be a shame if she keeps the baby , then she'll have two children that she cannot take care of.   The baby deserves a better life.  Your niece needs to take care of herself by using birth control.  It is not healthy for her to get pregnant knowing that she cannot take care of the child.  I wish you guys the best of luck.  :-)   God bless..

It sounds to me that you are raising your daughter's child so she must not be a saint.  Don't get me wrong I respect the fact that she kept the baby and did not take another path.

I too am with a man that has a past felony record.  He did not commit a crime against a child, does not drink or do drugs, however we are not able to adopt.  I have tried to conceive but have not been able to. It is very expensive to try other methods to conceive when there is no guarantee.  It is heartbreaking to hear about parents that abuse and even kill their unwanted children when there are those of us that would give anything to have a chance to raise a child.

I want to say to Barbmayer:  I was recently told by a lawyer "nothing is impossible"  don't give up!!!

"every saint has a past and every sinner has a future"   It sad that someone makes a mistake and society can not forgive them.  Thank goodness we at least have a forgiving God.

its worse than that over here though not only are there very few austrlian baby adoptions nowadays  but now the goverment agencies are STEALING children from young mothers

It is more than just taking abused children away from their parents its taking happy well cared for children from their parents and putting them in foster care a lot of people over here have sussed that they will never be able to adopt so they become foster carers i have 2 kids that i will never be able to care for the way a mother should just because i was single and had post natal depression instead of supporting me they stole my kids the whole system sux over here when a newborn comes up for adoption they go into foster care untill the cooling off period happens usally the birth parents and the adoptive parents can visit during this time but what about the poor baby? they get shuffled from pillar to post and miss out on vital stability when will the goverments in our world relise that there are right ways and wrong ways to do stuff

I pray for all the loving couples out there wanting kids and i empathise with the couples who have been scammed or had birth parents change their mind I know how you feel to have your children ripped away from you

ONE LAST THOUGHT WHEN WILL GOVERMENTS RELISE THAT KIDS ARE NOT COMMODITIES AND THAT FAMILIES DESERVE EVERY CHANCE TO STAY TOGETHER