Topic : I Want to Adopt

Try your local group homes (orphanages) or contact Department of family services, in your area, look into foster care, then potential adoption.  Chances are slim you'll find a baby, but you will no doubt find a child, and as you said, you been married 5 years, pretty home, financially secure, and you want your "little family", I mean you want to be a parent, does it really matter the age of the child...kid is a kid right?.   I am confident you'll find that in the older kids (non-baby).... that they need you you back  :)

good luck

Gina

Look towards agencies in your area that deal with children needing homes, chances are slim you will find 'babies' there, but you want to be a parent, does age really matter? Look in local group homes, child protective services.  Probably can find most listings for these in phone books, or government agencies.

good luck,

Gina

you basically complied what I said, only tried to be 'neat and tidy' about it....lol

I'm sorry if I was not 'tact' whatever that implies, but I feel very angry about this issue, I refuse to be

"nice and tidy" about the point of what these potential adoptive parents do and act, I will not be politically correct about it, because I think it's the purest form of B.S I ever knew.  Just look at this board, at the posts of these people, they post like a 'want ad' for somebody's BABY, it is a human being, the person carrying the baby...is a human being....yet these people post and advertise like they are buying a car, or on that 'Craig's list'...my God......its the saddest thing I ever saw.

I am a firm believer in, if someone should feel shame and does not, I like to point out when they should.  And I cannot see how one does not feel shame in trying and persuading to take someone else's baby.  There are so many kids that need a home and need parents to love them, yet these possible parents would rather solicit, talk someone 'in-to', WAIT on a LIST..lol,(sorry that's funny) and take a baby within days of birth....like standing there just waiting for baby to pop in their arms.....it sickens me.

Once again babies grow up, they become kids/teenagers, getting them from birth does not change or stop this progression.  When you need to adopt (and yes fertile parents adopt as well and non-fertile) ...and a baby is not easy to get for you, nor in the near future, ask yourself what's the difference in the age of the child, you do want a child/family?

hehe...@tact,

Gina

This is Tracy again.

      I am a potential birthmom who lives in South Carolina.  I cannot say that I'm a certified birthmom yet because I'm married and I'm having a hard time getting my husband to agree to an adoption for our child.  In our state, the other spouse must agree to the adoption or it simply will not happen.  I am very frustrated by this.  He acts like he doesn't even want to stay married to me anymore, but yet he wants to keep this baby.  Hello!!!  I flat out told him that he can't have it both ways, but he won't listen. 

      Now for my comments regarding some of the other stuff said here.  It is my opinion that if you want to adopt a child, you shouldn't be so picky as to insist on a newborn only.  If I personally was going to adopt, I wouldn't mind adopting a toddler or even grade-school aged child.  I think you have to be realistic at the same time, though.  Nobody is asking anybody to be a hero and adopt the child with the largest number of special needs in the agency/currently in foster care.  I don't think I could handle a child with Down Syndrome or (certainly not) cerebal palsy.  If this makes me a bad person, then so be it.  But a five-year-old with a brief history of abuse or neglect wouldn't be so bad.  I could do that.  Think about the bonuses of adopting these kids - no 4am feedings, little or no potty training, having a kid that could talk to you right off the bat.  I know I'm considering placing a newborn myself, but to the poor adoptive parents who've been "screwed" I suggest that maybe God has a different plan for you. 

       Somebody said that this "placing want ads" for kids is disgusting.  I say that it's no different than than "placing want ads" for a date or applying for a job online.  I prefer to think of it as information sharing.  I have info you need, so I'll tell you what I know.  Simple as that.  Now, there's no doubt that it may get out of hand, particularly in this situation, but i think that if you start here and then move to a "face to face" sort of situation, then it's fine. 

      Well, I think I've said all that I want to say.  I wish I could help somebody, but like I said, I can't until I can get him to understand where I'm coming from.  Good luck to all of y'all in your search for children.

Tracy

HEY TRACY -

WELCOME BACK HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW ARE YOU FEELING? I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU IN A WHILE,SO HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING WITH YOUR ADOPTION PLANS? THATS COOL THAT YOU ARE STILL CONSIDERING ADOPTION FOR YOUR UNBORN BABY. YOU JUST GOT TO STAY STRONG AND GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING YOU KNOW.. LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFORE IF YOU NEED SOME ONE TO TALK TO YOU CAN EMAIL ME ILL B HERE GIRL....

    The moment your pregnancy test makes a plus sign or says "pregnant", you begin to dream of the new and exciting things your baby will bring.  You find yourself daydreaming of what it will feel like to hear that first cry, to hear that first "mommy" or I love you, or even to see that first smile.  You constantly touch and talk to your stomach-your baby.  From the beginning, you start picking out names and mapping out your babies entire future.  It is your baby and you don't believe that anything bad would ever happen to you or your baby.  It's a perfect world right?  Now, imagine how you would feel if you could never hear your baby's first cry, first "mommy", first I love you, or never see that first smile.  Could you just "get over it", "move on", or even "forget about it"?  In society today, if you lose your baby before 20 weeks, YOU DON"T COUNT!  Some doctors or people around you don't even believe that it was a baby.  To them, it was just a "miscarriage" or a "bad pregnancy."  If you have ever experienced this loss-a "miscarriage", then you have a different perspective.  We may never experience that first cry, or ever feel our baby's sweet touch against our chest, but we do have those first moments.  No one can ever take away those long talks in the car with our "stomach"-our baby.  No one can ever take away our dreams we had for our baby or our ultrasound pictures.  Mostly, NOONE can EVER take away the love that we feel in our hearts for our lost babies.  To bad, no one can take away the hurt and loneliness in our hearts. I wish that no one ever had to feel this kind of hurt.  You are not supposed to die before your children.  I am tired of feeling all alone.  I thought, "If I feel this way, I know that someone else does to."  This is the only thing I can do to make my sweet K.C. (Kate or Conner) and my sweet Jonah Bryce's death matter.  If I can help someone else through a tough time or just let someone else know that their not alone, my baby's death will not be in vain.  So…Here's our story.

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Hey, Jessica.

I've been married near 6 years, most of which have been very unhappy. I have been apart of raising my cousin with my grandmother since the day her mother brought her home from the hospital. Now my grandmother, whom had legal guardianship, has passed away. I have been raising her in my home ever since, that was 2005. I want to adopt my cousin. Her mother is completely out of the picture. She is a fugitive as we speak. But her is the kicker. I want to adopt without my husband. We live in NC and because our marriage has been awful at best for so long I don't want to adopt with him. This man has made it clear that should we divorce and he is her legal parent he would seek primary custody. We have seperated in the past with intent to divorce. At which time he was the sole provider in our household. He proceeded to financially cut me off and have me removed from our home by filing a false report that he felt his life was in danger. He dropped it only after I apologized to apease him. He has a documented history with the military police and police in our marriage of outburst and destructive behavior and actions.

So far each attorney I have spoken with said I wouldn't be able to adopt her without him being apart of it as well. For a while the behavior stopped so we began the adoption procedure. Now it is back. We had to discontinue the adoption due to a temporary financial setback. I want to start the proceeding again but without him. Is this possible? I really need some advice on what to do, where  to go for information, or if anyone has had an experience with adopting without their spouse your knowledge would be greatly appreciated.

Thank You For Any Help!

M.F