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Topic : I Want to Adopt

Number of Replies: 474
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:23:45 pm
Author : dataimport
Has infertility struggling left you ready to bring a child into your home through adoption? Are you finished having kids but feel the need to share your home with one more child? Share your reasons for wanting to adopt and love for children with us.

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February 25, 2008, 7:17 pm CST

sure :)

Quote From: DyAnNa2008

We are looking to adopt a baby but dont know really were to start . Does anyone know which agency goes the fastest and goes smooth? We have got in contact with a couple of agencys but we are just waiting for them to get back to us. It seems like forever . Let me know

Look towards agencies in your area that deal with children needing homes, chances are slim you will find 'babies' there, but you want to be a parent, does age really matter? Look in local group homes, child protective services.  Probably can find most listings for these in phone books, or government agencies.

 

good luck,

 

Gina

 
February 25, 2008, 7:44 pm CST

lol @tact

Quote From: eew_bugs

  An earlier message touched on this - though without any tact.
It is frustrating to hear so many people decide to adopt only after they learn they can't birth a child.  There are so many children out there in need of a family and home.  Why create a new child when there are already so many that need parents?  It seems that if a couple desires to love and raise a child; to give to a child, that they would take in any child who needs this.  Rather, so many couples want: they want to see themselves in a child, they want to experience childbirth, they want "have one of their own", etc.  This is a selfish stance because it is about them, not another.
If it is really about loving a child, rather than having a child, why not consider adoption from the beginning?

you basically complied what I said, only tried to be 'neat and tidy' about it....lol

 

I'm sorry if I was not 'tact' whatever that implies, but I feel very angry about this issue, I refuse to be

"nice and tidy" about the point of what these potential adoptive parents do and act, I will not be politically correct about it, because I think it's the purest form of B.S I ever knew.  Just look at this board, at the posts of these people, they post like a 'want ad' for somebody's BABY, it is a human being, the person carrying the baby...is a human being....yet these people post and advertise like they are buying a car, or on that 'Craig's list'...my God......its the saddest thing I ever saw.

 

I am a firm believer in, if someone should feel shame and does not, I like to point out when they should.  And I cannot see how one does not feel shame in trying and persuading to take someone else's baby.  There are so many kids that need a home and need parents to love them, yet these possible parents would rather solicit, talk someone 'in-to', WAIT on a LIST..lol,(sorry that's funny) and take a baby within days of birth....like standing there just waiting for baby to pop in their arms.....it sickens me.

 

Once again babies grow up, they become kids/teenagers, getting them from birth does not change or stop this progression.  When you need to adopt (and yes fertile parents adopt as well and non-fertile) ...and a baby is not easy to get for you, nor in the near future, ask yourself what's the difference in the age of the child, you do want a child/family?

 

hehe...@tact,

 

Gina

 

 
February 26, 2008, 5:31 pm CST

I Want to Adopt

Quote From: shelton302

you basically complied what I said, only tried to be 'neat and tidy' about it....lol

 

I'm sorry if I was not 'tact' whatever that implies, but I feel very angry about this issue, I refuse to be

"nice and tidy" about the point of what these potential adoptive parents do and act, I will not be politically correct about it, because I think it's the purest form of B.S I ever knew.  Just look at this board, at the posts of these people, they post like a 'want ad' for somebody's BABY, it is a human being, the person carrying the baby...is a human being....yet these people post and advertise like they are buying a car, or on that 'Craig's list'...my God......its the saddest thing I ever saw.

 

I am a firm believer in, if someone should feel shame and does not, I like to point out when they should.  And I cannot see how one does not feel shame in trying and persuading to take someone else's baby.  There are so many kids that need a home and need parents to love them, yet these possible parents would rather solicit, talk someone 'in-to', WAIT on a LIST..lol,(sorry that's funny) and take a baby within days of birth....like standing there just waiting for baby to pop in their arms.....it sickens me.

 

Once again babies grow up, they become kids/teenagers, getting them from birth does not change or stop this progression.  When you need to adopt (and yes fertile parents adopt as well and non-fertile) ...and a baby is not easy to get for you, nor in the near future, ask yourself what's the difference in the age of the child, you do want a child/family?

 

hehe...@tact,

 

Gina

 

now im not taking any sides on this here...i just wanna mention though that you may not be aware but the older the children, the more problems they usually have. and we are talking serious problems. this might be part of the reason why people want babies.

i see where ur coming from though and agree with it to some point.
 
February 26, 2008, 7:41 pm CST

Adult children with infertility

 My 34 year old son and his wife have been trying for 7 years to get pregnant.  Last year they tried invitro.  She became pregnant and they were so excited.  But at aroun 10 weeks she miscarried.  She tried invitro 5 times and became pregnant 3 times, but all pregnancies just didn't continue.  They would make the best parents and want to adopt.  But, after spending $125,000 for 5 invitro's giving $30,000 to an adoption agency just  seems to iffy.  How can they find a pregnant young woman like in the movie "Juno" who would want a wonderful couple to raise her child?  Is there really such a thing?  I know how much fulfillment my children brought to me and want my son and his wife to have the same experience.  I am unable to be a surrogate for them and I can't adopt a child for them, but I want to help them become parents.  Any suggestions?
 
March 2, 2008, 1:03 pm CST

Hello, Everybody!

This is Tracy again.

 

      I am a potential birthmom who lives in South Carolina.  I cannot say that I'm a certified birthmom yet because I'm married and I'm having a hard time getting my husband to agree to an adoption for our child.  In our state, the other spouse must agree to the adoption or it simply will not happen.  I am very frustrated by this.  He acts like he doesn't even want to stay married to me anymore, but yet he wants to keep this baby.  Hello!!!  I flat out told him that he can't have it both ways, but he won't listen. 

 

      Now for my comments regarding some of the other stuff said here.  It is my opinion that if you want to adopt a child, you shouldn't be so picky as to insist on a newborn only.  If I personally was going to adopt, I wouldn't mind adopting a toddler or even grade-school aged child.  I think you have to be realistic at the same time, though.  Nobody is asking anybody to be a hero and adopt the child with the largest number of special needs in the agency/currently in foster care.  I don't think I could handle a child with Down Syndrome or (certainly not) cerebal palsy.  If this makes me a bad person, then so be it.  But a five-year-old with a brief history of abuse or neglect wouldn't be so bad.  I could do that.  Think about the bonuses of adopting these kids - no 4am feedings, little or no potty training, having a kid that could talk to you right off the bat.  I know I'm considering placing a newborn myself, but to the poor adoptive parents who've been "screwed" I suggest that maybe God has a different plan for you. 

 

       Somebody said that this "placing want ads" for kids is disgusting.  I say that it's no different than than "placing want ads" for a date or applying for a job online.  I prefer to think of it as information sharing.  I have info you need, so I'll tell you what I know.  Simple as that.  Now, there's no doubt that it may get out of hand, particularly in this situation, but i think that if you start here and then move to a "face to face" sort of situation, then it's fine. 

 

      Well, I think I've said all that I want to say.  I wish I could help somebody, but like I said, I can't until I can get him to understand where I'm coming from.  Good luck to all of y'all in your search for children.

 

Tracy

 

 

 
March 2, 2008, 8:02 pm CST

ADOPTION

HEY TRACY -

WELCOME BACK HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW ARE YOU FEELING? I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU IN A WHILE,SO HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING WITH YOUR ADOPTION PLANS? THATS COOL THAT YOU ARE STILL CONSIDERING ADOPTION FOR YOUR UNBORN BABY. YOU JUST GOT TO STAY STRONG AND GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING YOU KNOW.. LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFORE IF YOU NEED SOME ONE TO TALK TO YOU CAN EMAIL ME ILL B HERE GIRL....

 
March 18, 2008, 6:48 pm CDT

Running out of options

My name isJessica and  I am from SC. My husband and I have been actively tryng to have a baby for 3 years now. I have recently tried acupuncture, clomid (i bought off of the internet), recording my bbt, and lots more. Heres why I am definitely considering adoption, I am at the end of the road...I dont know what else I can do...I wish someone could fill me in... I was really upset one night about a month ago and really needed someone to talk to.  I was on the verge of losing it.  So...I decided to pour all of myself into writing this.  Unless you've ever lost your child, you probably won't understand it, but your welcome to read it anyways. So....Here goes:) 

    The moment your pregnancy test makes a plus sign or says "pregnant", you begin to dream of the new and exciting things your baby will bring.  You find yourself daydreaming of what it will feel like to hear that first cry, to hear that first "mommy" or I love you, or even to see that first smile.  You constantly touch and talk to your stomach-your baby.  From the beginning, you start picking out names and mapping out your babies entire future.  It is your baby and you don't believe that anything bad would ever happen to you or your baby.  It's a perfect world right?  Now, imagine how you would feel if you could never hear your baby's first cry, first "mommy", first I love you, or never see that first smile.  Could you just "get over it", "move on", or even "forget about it"?  In society today, if you lose your baby before 20 weeks, YOU DON"T COUNT!  Some doctors or people around you don't even believe that it was a baby.  To them, it was just a "miscarriage" or a "bad pregnancy."  If you have ever experienced this loss-a "miscarriage", then you have a different perspective.  We may never experience that first cry, or ever feel our baby's sweet touch against our chest, but we do have those first moments.  No one can ever take away those long talks in the car with our "stomach"-our baby.  No one can ever take away our dreams we had for our baby or our ultrasound pictures.  Mostly, NOONE can EVER take away the love that we feel in our hearts for our lost babies.  To bad, no one can take away the hurt and loneliness in our hearts. I wish that no one ever had to feel this kind of hurt.  You are not supposed to die before your children.  I am tired of feeling all alone.  I thought, "If I feel this way, I know that someone else does to."  This is the only thing I can do to make my sweet K.C. (Kate or Conner) and my sweet Jonah Bryce's death matter.  If I can help someone else through a tough time or just let someone else know that their not alone, my baby's death will not be in vain.  So…Here's our story.

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March 22, 2008, 9:21 am CDT

You are not crazy.

Quote From: nwlywd1015

My name isJessica and  I am from SC. My husband and I have been actively tryng to have a baby for 3 years now. I have recently tried acupuncture, clomid (i bought off of the internet), recording my bbt, and lots more. Heres why I am definitely considering adoption, I am at the end of the road...I dont know what else I can do...I wish someone could fill me in... I was really upset one night about a month ago and really needed someone to talk to.  I was on the verge of losing it.  So...I decided to pour all of myself into writing this.  Unless you've ever lost your child, you probably won't understand it, but your welcome to read it anyways. So....Here goes:) 

    The moment your pregnancy test makes a plus sign or says "pregnant", you begin to dream of the new and exciting things your baby will bring.  You find yourself daydreaming of what it will feel like to hear that first cry, to hear that first "mommy" or I love you, or even to see that first smile.  You constantly touch and talk to your stomach-your baby.  From the beginning, you start picking out names and mapping out your babies entire future.  It is your baby and you don't believe that anything bad would ever happen to you or your baby.  It's a perfect world right?  Now, imagine how you would feel if you could never hear your baby's first cry, first "mommy", first I love you, or never see that first smile.  Could you just "get over it", "move on", or even "forget about it"?  In society today, if you lose your baby before 20 weeks, YOU DON"T COUNT!  Some doctors or people around you don't even believe that it was a baby.  To them, it was just a "miscarriage" or a "bad pregnancy."  If you have ever experienced this loss-a "miscarriage", then you have a different perspective.  We may never experience that first cry, or ever feel our baby's sweet touch against our chest, but we do have those first moments.  No one can ever take away those long talks in the car with our "stomach"-our baby.  No one can ever take away our dreams we had for our baby or our ultrasound pictures.  Mostly, NOONE can EVER take away the love that we feel in our hearts for our lost babies.  To bad, no one can take away the hurt and loneliness in our hearts. I wish that no one ever had to feel this kind of hurt.  You are not supposed to die before your children.  I am tired of feeling all alone.  I thought, "If I feel this way, I know that someone else does to."  This is the only thing I can do to make my sweet K.C. (Kate or Conner) and my sweet Jonah Bryce's death matter.  If I can help someone else through a tough time or just let someone else know that their not alone, my baby's death will not be in vain.  SoHere's our story.

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Hey, Jessica.

 

      You have every right to feel a loss for your baby.  There are families out there who even have funerals for miscarried infants.  A life is a life, no matter how short-lived.  I have never had a miscarriage, so I can't relate to you in that fashion.  I am very much a pro-life person who has prayed outside of two different abortion clinics three times.  (One of them I was there twice.) 

 

      That being the case, I would never consider abortion, even in unfortunate circumstances as I am experiencing now.  I am roughly 5 mo. pregnant and heavily considering adoption for my child.  Even better, I live in SC as do you.  The only roadblock I have right now is that my husband will not agree to the adoption, and unfortunately, that has to happen for me to place this child, a boy, with a family.  Perhaps if he knows that there is somebody nearby who would love to have a baby right now, it may soften him up a little bit.  If you want to know more details, my e-mail address is Tracy1974@pngusa.net or Tracyms1974@yahoo.com.  Let's talk a little bit.  Maybe we can help each other.

 

Tracy

 

 

 
March 24, 2008, 5:41 pm CDT

Want to Adopt w/out My Husband

I've been married near 6 years, most of which have been very unhappy. I have been apart of raising my cousin with my grandmother since the day her mother brought her home from the hospital. Now my grandmother, whom had legal guardianship, has passed away. I have been raising her in my home ever since, that was 2005. I want to adopt my cousin. Her mother is completely out of the picture. She is a fugitive as we speak. But her is the kicker. I want to adopt without my husband. We live in NC and because our marriage has been awful at best for so long I don't want to adopt with him. This man has made it clear that should we divorce and he is her legal parent he would seek primary custody. We have seperated in the past with intent to divorce. At which time he was the sole provider in our household. He proceeded to financially cut me off and have me removed from our home by filing a false report that he felt his life was in danger. He dropped it only after I apologized to apease him. He has a documented history with the military police and police in our marriage of outburst and destructive behavior and actions.

 

So far each attorney I have spoken with said I wouldn't be able to adopt her without him being apart of it as well. For a while the behavior stopped so we began the adoption procedure. Now it is back. We had to discontinue the adoption due to a temporary financial setback. I want to start the proceeding again but without him. Is this possible? I really need some advice on what to do, where  to go for information, or if anyone has had an experience with adopting without their spouse your knowledge would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thank You For Any Help!

 

M.F

 

 
March 26, 2008, 7:47 pm CDT

I Want to Adopt

Iam 20 years old, with a 4 1/2 old son. I am my son birth mother. I am 19 weeks pregnant.  I am considering adoption, but I am wanting an open adoption. One of my closest friends was going to adopted the baby I am carrying, but I am not sure if it is going to be good for our friendship. Would that be good for a friendship? Honestly, I would perfer to do adoption than have an abortion. (Even though you can have an abortion in the state I live in until you are 24weeks or 6months.)

 

 I am not sure how my family is going to react to my choice or how to tell them my decision. The biggest problem I am going have is with the father of the baby Iam having. I am not sure if he would sign over his rights even though it is in our best interest.  And I really don't want to go through the long process of the whole adoption thing.

 

I need someone advice on how to tell my family I decide to put the baby up for adoption!!! Can someone please help me out on how to tell them? 

 
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