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Topic : My Adoption Story

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:24:13 pm
Author : dataimport
Share your stories of adopting and raising kids, or being adopted, with us.

 
yogamama
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November 12, 2005, 7:53 am PST

That means a lot to me

Quote From: jennifer74

   I too gave a daughter up for adoption, like you i read hundreds of case files trying to find the perfect people to raise my daughter.  just when i was about to give up hope i came across a couple whom were too good to be true.  everybody else just wanted to have the baby and then cut all ties.  I knew i could'nt live without knowing how she was. this couple wanted me as part of their lives as much as my daughter.  it's been twelve years and we still write back and forth.  I am not sure if i am ever going to be ready to meet her, but i also know the time is coming soon. I'm having trouble coming to terms with having more children.  Although i would really like to have them,  my head says it's okay, but my heart says it's not.   I would consider my lifes dreams come true if one day i can accomplish what you have.  you must be an incedible woman and even without knowing you i respect you a great deal.   

I wanted to tell you that I just read your reply today.  I haven't checked if I had any.  It means a lot to me about what you said.  I do feel blessed with my family.  I am not sure how old you are but I want to say, give yourself time.  It took me a long time to sort my life out after several tries at careers from welding in the Air Force to being a flight attendant to a professional in Human Resources Training and Development...then...a full time stay at home mom.  I never went to college.  I wanted to but my parents felt I had screwed up so badly with having the baby that I wasn't worthy of help or guidance.  So I went in all sorts of directions trying to educate myself with reading, and on the job training.  When I turned 40 on Tuesday, the only regret I had is that I had not met my daughter yet...it is not in my control... so I had to let it go. 

  

Be patient with yourself.  One thing I have learned is that the most important thing in life, is to be your own best friend.    

Nancy 
 
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mylady
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November 16, 2005, 12:12 pm PST

adoption poem

Quote From: rwc2002

I love that poem too!! 

I wrote this poem to my brother and SIL on my son's "FIRST" birthday.....They are his BirthParent's. 

  

Once in a lifetime a special person comes along and makes someone's dreams come true. 

One year ago today, my dreams came true through you. 

I wanted only one thing in life, but it was never meant to be, 

A baby to call my very own who needed only me. 

I remember the day I got the call, I couldn't believe my ears, 

I was going to be a Mommy after waiting all these years. 

I know it broke your heart, but I hope one day you'll see, 

YOU made this tiny angel, and I promise to give him his wings. 

That poem is beatiful ! I want my daughter to read this, they have just adopted their third child. They were all siblings they wanted them to all be together along with her natural two.It's folks like you guys who make the world seem better just all at once. I wish you the best.
 
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wuppydog
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November 20, 2005, 2:25 pm PST

blessed

where do i start.i am from a family of 6 other children.i found out i was adopted when iwas 42.i am now 47.my biological mum and dad married after they adopted me and i have another 5 brothers and sisters so between the 2 families 11 brothers and  sisters.the ironic thing is my 2 families only lived 20 mins from each other when i was little as my adoption was done thru the hospital.my biological mothers sister and my adoptive mother knew each other well and but she never told her sister ( MY BIO MUM) about my whereabouts.it wasnt until one of my bio mums sisters got drunk years later that she blurted out to one of my bio sisters that they had a sister they never knew about.this then caused a major search for me   and their aunty  that knew where i had gone to tell them where i was.so letters were written to my mother to ask if i knew i was adopted .my mother had never told me.then the crunch came and my bio dad was dying so his wish was to meet me.this forced my mother to tell me i was adopted and what a crushing blow that was to me.anyway to cut a long story short i missed out on meeting my bio father by 3 months but have met all my other family it is still taking time to heal but i feel blessed to have 2 families who care about me.so anyone out there see it as a blessing that you have been chosen and you are a special gift   and we are the lucky ones.
 
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shannonok
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November 23, 2005, 3:40 pm PST

Just a few more weeks, until I give up my baby girl...

Hi.  I am new to this forum.  I thought I would share.... 

  

In February of this year, 2005, I met this man who will eventually become the biggest burden I have ever encountered.  I was in a drunken stupor when I met him. See, I am an alcoholic.  And, at that time I was on a binge. 

  

In March, I moved in with this man.   

  

In April, he called a chaplin over to the house and we got married. I say "we" but, it should have been just "him," since I was not there mentally.   

  

In May I found out that I was pregnant.   

  

In June, I sobered up. 

  

In July, I ran screaming, and went back to live with my mother, and consulted an adoption agency. 

  

In August, the adoption agency moved me closer to my 5 year old daughter, the town. 

  

In September, I felt the little life inside me move for the first time. 

  

In, October, I found out that I was carrying a little girl, and everything was developing "perfectly." 

  

Now, here it is, the end of November, and I am getting closer to the day. I am scared.  I KNOW that I am making the right decision, HOWEVER, I do dread the day that I have to say goodbye. 

  

I do NOT feel like I am giving my baby away, I feel like I am giving my baby a life. A life that I cannot give her.  She deserves to be with a mommy AND a daddy.  To have the things that she needs, AND wants.  I cannot do that.   

  

The couple I have chosen seem wonderful.  She is a dance instructor, and he runs his own truck and car repair shop. They aren't millionaires, but, they are doing very well financially.  I know money isn't everything.  Love is.  But, love doesn't buy diapers. 

  

I would just really like some insight as to what I am about to experience from someone that has been there. 

  

Thanks 
 
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geeks1
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November 27, 2005, 8:35 pm PST

my story

I was adopted and yes it may seem scary at first but i am fine know.
 
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geeks1
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November 27, 2005, 8:39 pm PST

hi

Quote From: shannonok

Hi.  I am new to this forum.  I thought I would share.... 

  

In February of this year, 2005, I met this man who will eventually become the biggest burden I have ever encountered.  I was in a drunken stupor when I met him. See, I am an alcoholic.  And, at that time I was on a binge. 

  

In March, I moved in with this man.   

  

In April, he called a chaplin over to the house and we got married. I say "we" but, it should have been just "him," since I was not there mentally.   

  

In May I found out that I was pregnant.   

  

In June, I sobered up. 

  

In July, I ran screaming, and went back to live with my mother, and consulted an adoption agency. 

  

In August, the adoption agency moved me closer to my 5 year old daughter, the town. 

  

In September, I felt the little life inside me move for the first time. 

  

In, October, I found out that I was carrying a little girl, and everything was developing "perfectly." 

  

Now, here it is, the end of November, and I am getting closer to the day. I am scared.  I KNOW that I am making the right decision, HOWEVER, I do dread the day that I have to say goodbye. 

  

I do NOT feel like I am giving my baby away, I feel like I am giving my baby a life. A life that I cannot give her.  She deserves to be with a mommy AND a daddy.  To have the things that she needs, AND wants.  I cannot do that.   

  

The couple I have chosen seem wonderful.  She is a dance instructor, and he runs his own truck and car repair shop. They aren't millionaires, but, they are doing very well financially.  I know money isn't everything.  Love is.  But, love doesn't buy diapers. 

  

I would just really like some insight as to what I am about to experience from someone that has been there. 

  

Thanks 

Just keep tellin your self that is this is for her.  Yes it will be hard but just think of all the good times she will have with her new mommy and daddy.  It will be hard and yes you will cry and you will miss her.   

  

if you ever want to talk about it my e-mail is angle4buffy2Yahoo.com 
 
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geeks1
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November 27, 2005, 8:44 pm PST

why

Quote From: gdod55

We adopted our son at 5 months.  His mother was 16 and it was not feasible for her to raise him at that time, so she placed him with our church adoption agency.  That was 27 years ago and he is still the joy of our lives.  We met the whole birth family when he was 12 after much discussion between my husband and me, and also with him.  It was a wonderful, joyful experience that helped fill a hole in his life.  His mother and I are as close as sisters now and we all enjoy each others company.  We often laugh about him having 2 moms and his poor wife having 2 mothers in law. Maybe ours is an unusual situation, but it has worked extremely well for all involved.  And best of all, it was very good for him.
I mean that it is good to let him know that he was adopted but why not wait until he is 18 to see her?
 
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caydensmom
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November 28, 2005, 6:26 am PST

My Adoption Story

Quote From: geeks1

I mean that it is good to let him know that he was adopted but why not wait until he is 18 to see her?
 Why wait?  I think it really depends on the situation, but often contact with natural parents can really help an adopted child to resolve their adoption issues.

I would have loved to meet my natural parents earlier.  My mom tried to keep in contact with my natural father, but the adoption agency wouldn't facilitate it.
 
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btsymom
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December 2, 2005, 11:19 pm PST

I have some advice, I hope that it helps

Quote From: geeks1

Just keep tellin your self that is this is for her.  Yes it will be hard but just think of all the good times she will have with her new mommy and daddy.  It will be hard and yes you will cry and you will miss her.   

  

if you ever want to talk about it my e-mail is angle4buffy2Yahoo.com 

When I was 17 years old, back in 1993...I was getting over a relationship that ended badly when I met him.  All of his words, his smile, and the way he treated me was enough for me to know that I absolutely needed to be with this man, or so I thought.  We dated for 2 months before I got pregnant with our son.  He was just ecstatic at first, but as the pregnancy went on, he was distant...spending as much time away from me as he could.  When I was 8 months pregnant, with so much pressure from both sides of the family, we were married.  In August of 1994, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and he couldn't have been happier.  That's when the abuse began.  I would ask him to help me and I would usually get slapped or thrown into a wall for that.  He found it very hard to express his anger in a constructive way and really found it hard to hold down a job.  To add to the "happiness" in the life we were living, I got pregnant with our daughter who I gave birth to in 1996.  I really started taking the beatings after that and there wasn't anybody in law enforcement that would ever help me.   In 1997, it got really bad because we were low on money, my husband at the time would not hold down a job, and I was too scared to leave.  Our children were placed for adoption in 1998 with a wonderful family.  The adoptive father is an airline pilot and the adoptive mother is just a stay at home mom.  The kids are together and couldn't be happier.  I still hurt sometimes over the decision that I made, but I know that they wouldn't have half of what they have now if they would've stayed with me.  I was not mentally, emotionally, or financially capable of taking care of my children and I know that.  I know that what you're going through is very hard, but if you have the child's best interest at heart...you're doing the most wonderful thing that any mother can do....give a child a chance at life.  If you want to e-mail me, we can talk.  sweetnlow_47@msn.com.  I wish you the best.  God bless...HUGS
 
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btsymom
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December 2, 2005, 11:22 pm PST

I hope this helps, I hope that you get this reply...not really sure where to post it

Quote From: shannonok

Hi.  I am new to this forum.  I thought I would share.... 

  

In February of this year, 2005, I met this man who will eventually become the biggest burden I have ever encountered.  I was in a drunken stupor when I met him. See, I am an alcoholic.  And, at that time I was on a binge. 

  

In March, I moved in with this man.   

  

In April, he called a chaplin over to the house and we got married. I say "we" but, it should have been just "him," since I was not there mentally.   

  

In May I found out that I was pregnant.   

  

In June, I sobered up. 

  

In July, I ran screaming, and went back to live with my mother, and consulted an adoption agency. 

  

In August, the adoption agency moved me closer to my 5 year old daughter, the town. 

  

In September, I felt the little life inside me move for the first time. 

  

In, October, I found out that I was carrying a little girl, and everything was developing "perfectly." 

  

Now, here it is, the end of November, and I am getting closer to the day. I am scared.  I KNOW that I am making the right decision, HOWEVER, I do dread the day that I have to say goodbye. 

  

I do NOT feel like I am giving my baby away, I feel like I am giving my baby a life. A life that I cannot give her.  She deserves to be with a mommy AND a daddy.  To have the things that she needs, AND wants.  I cannot do that.   

  

The couple I have chosen seem wonderful.  She is a dance instructor, and he runs his own truck and car repair shop. They aren't millionaires, but, they are doing very well financially.  I know money isn't everything.  Love is.  But, love doesn't buy diapers. 

  

I would just really like some insight as to what I am about to experience from someone that has been there. 

  

Thanks 

When I was 17 years old, back in 1993...I was getting over a relationship that ended badly when I met him.  All of his words, his smile, and the way he treated me was enough for me to know that I absolutely needed to be with this man, or so I thought.  We dated for 2 months before I got pregnant with our son.  He was just ecstatic at first, but as the pregnancy went on, he was distant...spending as much time away from me as he could.  When I was 8 months pregnant, with so much pressure from both sides of the family, we were married.  In August of 1994, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and he couldn't have been happier.  That's when the abuse began.  I would ask him to help me and I would usually get slapped or thrown into a wall for that.  He found it very hard to express his anger in a constructive way and really found it hard to hold down a job.  To add to the "happiness" in the life we were living, I got pregnant with our daughter who I gave birth to in 1996.  I really started taking the beatings after that and there wasn't anybody in law enforcement that would ever help me.   In 1997, it got really bad because we were low on money, my husband at the time would not hold down a job, and I was too scared to leave.  Our children were placed for adoption in 1998 with a wonderful family.  The adoptive father is an airline pilot and the adoptive mother is just a stay at home mom.  The kids are together and couldn't be happier.  I still hurt sometimes over the decision that I made, but I know that they wouldn't have half of what they have now if they would've stayed with me.  I was not mentally, emotionally, or financially capable of taking care of my children and I know that.  I know that what you're going through is very hard, but if you have the child's best interest at heart...you're doing the most wonderful thing that any mother can do....give a child a chance at life.  If you want to e-mail me, we can talk.  sweetnlow_47@msn.com.  I wish you the best.  God bless...HUGS
 
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