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Topic : My Adoption Story

Number of Replies: 413
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:24:13 pm
Author : dataimport
Share your stories of adopting and raising kids, or being adopted, with us.

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November 24, 2008, 5:00 pm CST

My Adoption Story

Quote From: missyakers

Honey...I don't know who you are, but I can assure you that your birth mom did what she felt was best for the situation she was in....I'm a birthmom myself and I promise you...it is hard.  I only pray that one day the child that I placed will give me the opportunity to share my story with him....maybe he will one day understand that it took more love for me to place him, than it did for me to have kept him and put him through all the things in my life that was going on at the time.  Should you not find your birth parents always remember this:  You are a very special person....you were loved enough by your birth parents to give you a life that they knew they possibly couldn't give you, and there was someone out there that chose to take you and love you as though you were their own flesh and blood.  I hope that this makes some sense to you...and I'm sorry if you don't understand what I'm trying to say.  Keep searching and ask the Lord above to take control...if it is in His plan...it will be in your future.

Sincerely,

Missy

I appreciate all that you said, it really all does make sense. I was successful in finding my mother, and I now understand that she does love me. Thank you, your kind words were heart-warming.

 

I hope too, that your son finds you one day, so you can explain it all to him.

 

thanks so much,

kris.

 
December 29, 2008, 10:11 pm CST

Scared and due in five days....

I am not really sure what to do at this point in time. i am pregnant and I am due in five days. I have made an adoption plan with a family... but as the days go by... I don't think I can do it. I don't think I can hand my baby over and never see her again. I have tried to be hard during this whole process. I have tried to just give into the feelings I know I will have when my daughter is born, but I am so scared I wont be able to handle it. I know that I won't be able to handle it. I dont know what to do... I care for the family... but I really care about my baby too. HELP!
 
February 12, 2009, 9:02 am CST

our amazing little girl

We adopted a beautiful little girl from Russia and she is one of 2 most amazing parts of my life.  We spent more than 5 years preparing our lives for a second child but after 7 m/c and broken hearts we looked to adoption.  We had 2 birth mothers change their minds that broke our spirits further.  Our son and our hearts needed something a little more secure to put our hopes in and God found us a beautiful daughter and sister.  We enjoyed learning about her place of birth and would have like to know more about her birth family but it is illegal for us to search.  We know nothing of her medical history or pictures as adoption is very secretive there.  We know she will have many questions and we will try to answer them as best we can and in the best light.  Her caretakers at the orphanage were wonderful and we learned so much about customs, food, etc. from our translators.  We brought back many souvniers for her and kept a journal and plan on making a life book for her.  I feel very blessed to have a biological child and adopted child.  The experiences and stories of how they joined our family are so amazing it brings me to tears that after all the heartache we became so lucky.  We hope to have more children join our family someday but count our blessings everyday.   Thank you for letting me share our story!

 

Tonya

 
March 2, 2009, 11:01 am CST

My nephew

My husband and I have been married 13 years now. The two of us have 6 children between us, all adults now. In 2000 I was informed my sister was pregnant,AGAIN and was putting the baby up for adoption like many others she adopted out. My husband and I approached my sister asking she allow us to adopt to my surprise she said yes. After preparing for his birth we find out she was going behind our back thru agencies still seeking couples to adopt her unborn child which left me devistated and angry, I gave up and cut off all contact with my family. One morning I got a call from my brother in law asking me to go to my mothers he believed my sister was in labor and refused to go to the hospital. When i got there she indeed was in labor and i along with my brother in law took her to the hospital. After they put her in her room I noticed my sister becoming aggitated and she was asking my brother in law to give her the PIPE??? Thats when i realized this was going to be serious, she got the pipe (crack) went to the restroom and smoked cracked. I left the room and went to the nurses station and immediately reported it then headed for home. The next day i went back to see her and the baby while standing outside her room a lady from social services wanted to talk to the both of them, my sister turns to me and asks that i wait in a waiting room. Thats when i realized this was even more serious. I would visit my little nephew daily in the NICU, how difficult it was to see him there, 28 week premie in an incubator so tiny, broke my heart. A month or two went by. One day after coming home from work I recieved a call from my sister crying asking me to call her, she asked if we were still willing to adopt without hesitation i said yes. The next morning my husband and I both met with my sister and brother in law at children services. In the meeting I was informed all the couples had declined adopting my nephew due to him being crack positive and having fetal alcohol syndrome...I was overwhelmed with emotion but still my husband and I both agreed to take him home. The first night home WOW....I had no idea what to do, the crying,the fits, after raising many children myself I knew this wasnt right. My son now 7 years old, now finally knowing him and all his health issues is the most precious gift ever been given to me. It has been so very emotion and exhausting taking care of little raymond but without a dount Id not had made any other decision. He is my son and I love him with all my heart. Little Raymond is now in 2nd grade and goes to a school for the mentally challenge. He has had 5 surgeries thus far and possible one or two more. Raymond is seen in Opthomology,Orthopedics,Neurosurgery,Urology,Pulminary,Cardiology,Genetics,Behaviorial clinic and a few others. Our son, Raymond is the most precious little boy and we love him dearly.

 

Christina Hatter

 
March 5, 2009, 12:00 pm CST

MY GRANDSON

Quote From: ccalzone40

My husband and I have been married 13 years now. The two of us have 6 children between us, all adults now. In 2000 I was informed my sister was pregnant,AGAIN and was putting the baby up for adoption like many others she adopted out. My husband and I approached my sister asking she allow us to adopt to my surprise she said yes. After preparing for his birth we find out she was going behind our back thru agencies still seeking couples to adopt her unborn child which left me devistated and angry, I gave up and cut off all contact with my family. One morning I got a call from my brother in law asking me to go to my mothers he believed my sister was in labor and refused to go to the hospital. When i got there she indeed was in labor and i along with my brother in law took her to the hospital. After they put her in her room I noticed my sister becoming aggitated and she was asking my brother in law to give her the PIPE??? Thats when i realized this was going to be serious, she got the pipe (crack) went to the restroom and smoked cracked. I left the room and went to the nurses station and immediately reported it then headed for home. The next day i went back to see her and the baby while standing outside her room a lady from social services wanted to talk to the both of them, my sister turns to me and asks that i wait in a waiting room. Thats when i realized this was even more serious. I would visit my little nephew daily in the NICU, how difficult it was to see him there, 28 week premie in an incubator so tiny, broke my heart. A month or two went by. One day after coming home from work I recieved a call from my sister crying asking me to call her, she asked if we were still willing to adopt without hesitation i said yes. The next morning my husband and I both met with my sister and brother in law at children services. In the meeting I was informed all the couples had declined adopting my nephew due to him being crack positive and having fetal alcohol syndrome...I was overwhelmed with emotion but still my husband and I both agreed to take him home. The first night home WOW....I had no idea what to do, the crying,the fits, after raising many children myself I knew this wasnt right. My son now 7 years old, now finally knowing him and all his health issues is the most precious gift ever been given to me. It has been so very emotion and exhausting taking care of little raymond but without a dount Id not had made any other decision. He is my son and I love him with all my heart. Little Raymond is now in 2nd grade and goes to a school for the mentally challenge. He has had 5 surgeries thus far and possible one or two more. Raymond is seen in Opthomology,Orthopedics,Neurosurgery,Urology,Pulminary,Cardiology,Genetics,Behaviorial clinic and a few others. Our son, Raymond is the most precious little boy and we love him dearly.

 

Christina Hatter

MY son is in prison and his girlfriend is pregnant. She is due to have the baby April 5. She has sent us sonagram pictures of the baby. We have had conversations about the baby. We couldn't wait to see her and the baby. Well one day my son got a phone call for him to call an adoption agency. Here his girlfriend was working with this couple the whole time and didn't tell us. She said she didn.t want the baby and did't want him to know any of us ever. Well my daughters 22 and 20 and i would like to raise this baby. The mother is dealing with a wealthy couple and are taking her places and going out to eat. It sounds like she is being bought. When the baby comes they say they need a blood test to see if the baby is really my sons child. If it is i am wondering if since i am not wealthy will i have a chance to raise my grandson? I would like to fight this but with the aconomy money doesn't grow on trees. I know that we can raise the baby with love not money.

 

 

JUST ME

 
March 19, 2009, 3:39 pm CDT

Child Mental Cruelty

PLEASE DO NOT PASS THE BUCK!

THIS CHILD NEEDS A LAWYER, NO ONE WILL HELP, THEY ARE LEAVING IT TO THE SYSTEM, THE SYSTEM CAN’T OR WON’T HELP HIM BECAUSE THIS CHILD HAS NO OUTSIDE BRUISES

Can Anyone Save This Child

 

There is an 11 year old child that has lived with his adoptive family since he was five. He has been mentally and emotionally abused and treated with unbelievable cruelty, he is ridiculed and humiliated on almost a daily basis, and according to people’s accounts and reports, it started as soon as the adoption papers were signed when the child was six. This child hides and sleeps sometimes in a 2x4ft closet because he says it is the only place he feels safe. This has been reported to Children Services by several people, Children’s services state they cannot get involved UNLESS THE CHILD IS PHYSICALLY ABUSED, AND HAS OUTSIDE BRUISES, MENTAL CRUELTY IS NOT ILLIGALL. If this is true will you help me change this law, is this just a law in Oregon, or is this just an issue for people who cannot afford a lawyer? There is so much more to this story, please contact me.

PLEASE HELP

robinladuke@yahoo.com

 
March 19, 2009, 3:44 pm CDT

Child Mental-Emotional Cruelty

PLEASE DO NOT PASS THE BUCK!

THIS CHILD NEEDS A LAWYER, NO ONE WILL HELP, THEY ARE LEAVING IT TO THE SYSTEM, THE SYSTEM CAN’T OR WON’T HELP HIM BECAUSE THIS CHILD HAS NO OUTSIDE BRUISES

Can Anyone Save This Child

 

There is an 11 year old child that has lived with his adoptive family since he was five. He has been mentally and emotionally abused and treated with unbelievable cruelty, he is ridiculed and humiliated on almost a daily basis, and according to people’s accounts and reports, it started as soon as the adoption papers were signed when the child was six. This child hides and sleeps sometimes in a 2x4ft closet because he says it is the only place he feels safe. This has been reported to Children Services by several people, Children’s services state they cannot get involved UNLESS THE CHILD IS PHYSICALLY ABUSED, AND HAS OUTSIDE BRUISES, MENTAL CRUELTY IS NOT ILLIGALL. If this is true will you help me change this law, is this just a law in Oregon, or is this just an issue for people who cannot afford a lawyer? There is so much more to this story, please contact me.

PLEASE HELP

robinladuke@yahoo.com

 
June 6, 2009, 8:14 pm CDT

Looking for Jesse.

In 1972 I gave birth to a baby boy at Granada Hills hospital,in Granada Hills.I was 16 when I became pregnant and 17 when I gave birth to my son I was in foster care at the time. I had decided I wanted to keep the baby, but I had no clue on how to raise a child, since I came from an abusive home myself and was in the foster Care system until I was 18 years of age. My babies father and I were broke up at the time he was in and out of jail. i got out of the hospital and was able to rent a apartment right  next door to my Aunt Linda in Eagle Rock Ca. My Grandmother was also there and she helped me with the baby. He was a premature baby I didnt get him out of the hospital until he wasd a month old. He was born March 19 1972.I named him Jesse James Hecton. When he was two months old I met another Man who was nine years older than me he was hispanic. I wound up having two more children with this man another son and a daughter,so by the time I was 20 I had three children. I fed and clothed them but had  no idea how to nurture them. My son Jesse was always very hyperactive . I had no control of him what so ever I was having problems in my marraige Jesse got so uncontrollable that I couldnt handle it anymore . I wound up haveing to put him in foster care he was almost 5 years old. Istarted gong to Childrens Hospital with him and parenting classes. But nothing seemed to help.long story short he was put up for adoption at 6 years of age. The first parents that adopted him changed there mind because he couldnt get along with there son. from there he went to a group home. after that he was adopted again. but aparently they couldnt controll him either I dont know if he wound up staying with that family or they let him go .The County Adoptions wont give out anymore information to me. All I could do is leave my address with them, and I have to wait for Jesse to try and contact  me. he is 36 yrs old now. Theres not a day that doesnt go by that I dont think about him if you have any info on my Son E-Mail me at katjas@yahoo.com
 
June 30, 2009, 8:12 pm CDT

Financial Aid

Quote From: givens21

A goal requires hard work. It drives people to better themselves on a daily basis. A dream however, demands no work, no dedication, and no discipline. Its when a person turns their dream into a reality that things really start to happen.

 

My name is Deanna Franklin, Im pursing a career in the medical field . My Goal is to be a Registered Nurse, however there are a few obstacles keeping me from achieving my goal in a reasonable time frame .

I grew up in Butte County ,CA. I was kicked out by my biological mother at age 6 .Well to be kicked out, I guess you have to live some where first . I lived on the street with my mom and five other siblings. (some times we were lucky and got to sleep in my moms friends storage unit ) I was abandoned for losing a rubber hair tie while swimming. At age ten & a half I was taken in to Child Protective Services and put in to foster care. I was adopted at age twelve, were I attended Palermo middle school were in my first month of school started to receive As and Bs by the end of the year I was receiving a 4.0 G.P.A I continued with this grade point for the next four years until graduating as valedictorian. High school was the same until my adopted father started to molest me (while holding a gun to my head and threatening to take his own life)and the other foster kids .I ran away on my sixteenth birthday worked two full time jobs and went on home school, were I eventually dropped out . At age nineteen I moved to Boise, ID to attended Boise State University . Where I received my Certification to be a nursing assistant graduating with a 4.0 .

I am twenty years old, up until three months ago I had no idea where I was born . It took me a year and a half from the time I started looking for my birth certificate to obtain it. Ive applied for many colleges, financial aid programs, and grants . Ive been turned down an equal amount of times. Their reason is they go by the applicants parents taxes ( in my case I dont have parents or relatives ) so I would need to make cash payment to even be a candidate for any programs, grants, or loans. They are unable to go by my taxes or give me any financial assistant until Im twenty one and even then I dont know if I can afford the cost on my own.

I have been saving for a long time and almost have enough to cover the costs of books and supplies needed for class .

I believe its a personal responsibility to continue ones education.. Since Im young the word responsibility seems rather frightening and a wearisome burden. But Im using the word to imply care and concern for the future. When using this word people shouldnt feel any sense of guilt if they have not shown the same care and attention toward their education. We must clearly understand that when we use the word responsibility there must not be a feeling of guilt. Im taking particular care in the uses of this word, freed from the unhappy weight of a word like duty. When this is clearly understood, then we can use the word responsibility without its burden of tradition. Understanding this I hope to attend school with this responsibility to study and to learn .This is the main purpose of education. Graduating from BSUs nursing program gave me the confidence I needed to go back to school. I recently receive my G.E.D. I now have a feeling of self worth and gratification that, Ive never experiences before. Im not stopping here. Ive moved back to CA to purse a job offer at Medical Center, save some more and eventually attended a University. I believe we are here to create and live, not merely survive.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice for someone in my situation. Maybe you know of some other avenues I could use or a more efficient way of achieving my goal. Any response would be helpful Thank you.

 

Sincerely,

Deanna Franklin

Contact the financial Aid office of the college you choose. They can help you with documentation to be independent, I helped my cousin do it as her parents had nothing to do with her and she was only twenty, there is a way to get around this you just have to write a letter of explanation. If the financial Aid office is not smart enough to help you find a college that will. Good Luck
 
July 7, 2009, 3:25 pm CDT

My open adoption experience

I was 17 when I had gotten pregnant with my first child. Still in school and the father was much older than me at the time. He was involved but I wasnt sure who the father was being as I had relations with 2 at the time. I wasnt going to give my child up for adoption. I was set on having the child. I did have him and kept him. I finished high school and even went to college. I have raised him by myself for 13 yrs now. In 2002 I had relations with a man I had known for 8 yrs. I got pregnant. We split up and I was set on adoption. My son doesnt have a father thats involved and I was struggling in raising him. I never got prenatal care at all because I did not want any attachment. I waited until I was 7 months to contact an agency for adoption. Now the agency only did the open adoption. I was explained everything and shown video's of the families wanting to adopt. I got to chose the family I felt would be a great family to raise my child. I got to meet them only once before I went to the hospital to deliver. Now the whole time during my labor process I had my doubts of following through with the adoption. I did feel pressured because they had driven about 3 hours to be at the hospital for the birth. The agancy had paperwork after the birth for me to decide how much contact I wanted and what kinds of contact I wanted. I really wasnt sure what i wanted. I was emotional as it was just giving birth to a girl. I always had said I wanted a boy and a girl. But not as a single parent. The agency said that the paperwork was not bonded and the family had all rights to either remain in contact with me or to not to continue contact. Once it was time to leave the hospital that was the hardest thing in my life to walk away without the child. I kept telling myself that she deserves this and she will be taken care of. I have gotten to see her twice a yr and had gotten letters, pictures and artwork of hers. She will be 7 this october. Last yr I had only gotten to see her in the fall. The parents have gotten to a point for her to decide to see me. I think its a little young for a child to make a choice like that but thats their choice. I havent heard from the family this yr at all. I did send out an Easter card and letter. I guess I have had my time to heal and accept the choice I had made and I see she is well taken care of and I couldnt ask for anything more. They had the heart to accept her into their home and accept her as their child. I can only hope when she is older she will know who I am and maybe keep me a part of her life if she choses.
 
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