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Topic : My Adoption Story

Number of Replies: 413
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:24:13 pm
Author : dataimport
Share your stories of adopting and raising kids, or being adopted, with us.

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October 7, 2005, 5:26 pm CDT

what if it doesn't work

Quote From: dougiesmom

You ask the question - "What if it doesn't work?"....There are no guarantee's in parenthood unfortunately.  None of these little gaffers are born with instructions and we can only do the best we can do at that moment i time.  I'm a Child Protection worker (Social worker) in Alberta and have fostered over 60 kids along with my  husband and we adopted our son 9 years ago. I have seen some very fortunate childreen who have been lucky enough to be adopted an dothers who have passed from foster  home to foster home and then people begin to question why these kids are so angry when they hit their teens. We also have 2 children each biologically....I defy anyone to figure out by our actions which one is adopted....and while he came with some questions about his prenaatal care and health everything has turned out wonderfully.

 

I often tell the story of when I was pregnant with my daughter who is now 22 years old.  I was very very sick during the pregnancy and ended up in hospital for the last two months before she was born - in fact they induced her some 6 weeks early as they were not sure if I could last that much longer to deliver her I was that ill.  At the same time I had a friend who sailed through a very "normal" pregnancy...I delivered a very tiny but healthy baby girl who has some minor learning disabilities around reading. but who graduated from College last year.  She delivered a little girl who has an extreme case of cerbral palsy who is not able to do anything really - fed through a G tube, has never sat up or walked on her own etc....My point being that even in giving birth to your own it might not "work out" the way you want it to but I believe a loving, structured environment with parents who are open to reading and learning all they can about everything can work miracles.

 

Good Luck

 

Cheryl

There are no guarantees in parenthood" so glad you said that. When a 40 year old is trying to adopt a baby and is putting all these stipulations on what they will and will not acccept like they are shopping for new car.Drives me absolutely insane. Or the people who talk about the cost of invitro,(so they only do it once), they don't want to wait the 10 years to be on a list for the province (less costly), go on the drug therapy program for six months and quit.If they were too get pregnant on there own, there would be a really good chance that it might have birth defects. I think people who truly want to be parents are the ones that would do anything. I also believe love comes from very strange places. I had a nurse freind that worked  in the maternity ward that the baby was just left at the hospital. It had been born with it's bladder outside the body. When she tells the story it really is  amazing. She had just had her baby girl two years earlier and really wasn't even contiplating having another just yet. After looking after this child for months,she came home one day and told her husband they were adopting a baby boy. She couldn't bear to leave this child in the hospital.She gave him a home.There was many surgeries over the years, but with her and her husbands love and support his life is pretty normal. Plays sports etc.....I think that being an adopted child, not ever having the desire to find my birth parents, not liking everything about my adopted parents either, all you can do is hope for the best and thank them everyday for being here.Your life will become what you make it.  

 
October 8, 2005, 11:29 pm CDT

My Adoption Story

   My husband and I already have our papers in to adopt, like anything as well as having biological children there are risks. My sisters child is a speed junkie  and she is all her's and well maybe that is why because well my sister has been known to have her own addictions. What I am saying, if you pland to adopt especially an older child you are bound to get a child with emotional scars if not physical problems, and well even the enfants that you are bringing home could be drug addicted ect..  You may not be told about the hit mom took at month 6 or 8 ect...all children come with their surprizes and we must be ready for them and be ready to love them any way. Don't let anyone talk you out of adopting but read every thing you can about the subject and take all of the classes, I can't wait. Sorry to barge in like that... dagaz  ( Tonka is my pomeranian...puppy)
 
October 16, 2005, 10:25 pm CDT

TRY THIS STOY

MY BOYFRIEND WAS ADOPTED. HE WAS ADOPTED BECAUSE HIS MOTHER DRANK AND THE KIDS WERE NOT BEING TAKEN CARE OF. THE FAMILY THAT ADOPTED HIM ADOPTED HIM CAUSE THEY TRIED HAVING KIDS OF THERE OWN AND WAS UNABLE. WELL WHEN HE CAME ALONG IT TOOK THE STRESS OFF OF THEM AND HIS ADOPTED MOTHER GOT PREGNANT. WELL SINCE SHE GOT PREGNANT THEY DIDN'T WANT HIM ANY MORE. THEY WAS GOING TO PUT IN BACK UP FOR ADOPTION BUT HIS AUDITED GRANDPARENTS TOOK HIM IN, HIS ADOPTED GRANDPARENTS ALSO AUDITED HIS REAL SISTER. BUT HERE IS THE THING OF IT. THEY NEVER HIS ADOPTED GRANDPARENTS, ADOPTED HIM THEY JUST TOOK HIM IN. HERE IS MY QUESTION. HIS ADOPTED MOTHER HAS PASSED AWAY. HIS ADOPTED FATHER IS NOT IN GOOD HEALTH. NOW IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIS IS HE ENTITLED TO HAVE HIS SHARE OF WHAT HE WILL LEAVE BEHIND. WE KNOW THAT HIS SISTER, THE NATURAL SIBLING, IS LEFT EVERYTHING. WE KNOW WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER THE RECEIVED A CHECK FOR HIM BUT NEVER GAVE IT TO HIS ADOPTED GRANDPARENTS. IS HE ENTITLED TO ANYTHING OR NOT. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP. 

THANKS 

 
October 17, 2005, 1:17 pm CDT

i understand all too well how you feel

Quote From: yogamama

I placed my little girl with loving parents on November 23, 1984.  I spent my entire pregnancy reading profiles so that I may find two people that were able to give my child the sort of life I would have had I had the means and opportunity.  They named her Elizabeth.  I have dreamt of the day when she calls me or knocks on my door. That will be the day when I feel like I won the lottery.  She will be the one to decide what kind of relationship we will have.  I now live in a nice town in Connecticut with two beautiful boys, 6 and 4, and a kind and loving husband.  I will be 40 years old in November.   

I want everyone who has been adopted to know that any mother that had the courage to place you with another family, did so from a place of love like I did so long ago.   

   I too gave a daughter up for adoption, like you i read hundreds of case files trying to find the perfect people to raise my daughter.  just when i was about to give up hope i came across a couple whom were too good to be true.  everybody else just wanted to have the baby and then cut all ties.  I knew i could'nt live without knowing how she was. this couple wanted me as part of their lives as much as my daughter.  it's been twelve years and we still write back and forth.  I am not sure if i am ever going to be ready to meet her, but i also know the time is coming soon. I'm having trouble coming to terms with having more children.  Although i would really like to have them,  my head says it's okay, but my heart says it's not.   I would consider my lifes dreams come true if one day i can accomplish what you have.  you must be an incedible woman and even without knowing you i respect you a great deal.   

 
October 18, 2005, 11:24 pm CDT

for luvmytally

Quote From: luvmytally

Dear fellow birth mom-  

   

  

PLEASE PLEASE do yourself a favor and don’t beat yourself up!  Your son is going to think of you as his own savior…hero…etc.  I am very sad to hear that feeling like he’ll hate you in the future and that this thought is ruining your life. If ANYTHING you want to prove to him that because you placed him for adoption your life has had a significant change!!  When I placed my birth daughter about 6 months down the road I got drunk one night….I went through a serious life altering moment (if getting pregnant wasn’t enough!) and I thought about the future.  What would she think about me if she met me down the road say 15 years from now and saw me as a drunk…no schooling…no job...etc.  She would think that nothing changed.  I want her to be proud of me…hence the reason I hold my head up high.  You have a lot of things going for you!  You are awesome! Why would your son hate you?  Be glad you know these people who are raising him.  Have faith that they will raise him to look at the adoption process as being a life savor!  Things will works out don’t get discouraged!  You have done a wonderful thing, really.  Please, life your day to day life as if to prove that you have improved yourself for the better.  He was your life saver and you were his!  

  

Which much love and concern,  

  

Deborah  

 holy cow. i made an adoption plan for my daughter 12 years ago this month. you, deborah, sound just like me!!!!! i read your posts and could not believe the similarities!!! case in point- i now live in europe as well!

anyway, if you ever want to get in touch please email me at twobabybats at yahoo dot co dot uk (written that way so evil spyware people cant get my addy)

okay, have a great day!

amy
 
October 25, 2005, 11:15 pm CDT

Proud to be Adopted

I am proud to be adopted.  I have 3 older brothers who my adoptive parents had naturally.  I found my birth parents and my brother who was also adopted.  I have a half sister and brother.   

I have a poem which I wish to share with all. Adoptees, Birth parents, Adoptive parents. 

Legacy of an adopted Child 

Once there were two women 

Who never knew each other 

One you do not remember 

The other you call Mother 

Two different lives 

Shaped to make yours one 

One became your guiding star 

The other became your sun 

The first gave you life  

And the second taught you to live in it 

The first gave you a need for love 

And the second was there to give it 

One gave you a nationality 

The other gave you a name 

One gave you a seed of talent 

The other gave you an aim 

One gave you emotions 

The other calmed your fears 

One saw your first sweet smile 

The other dried your tears 

One gave you up 

It was all she could do 

The other prayed for a child 

And God led her straight to you 

And now you ask me 

Through your tears 

The age old questions 

Through the years 

Heredity or environment 

Which are you a product of? 

Neither my darling, neither 

Just two different kinds of love 

  

I love this poem and enjoy sharing it with people who can relate. 

 
October 29, 2005, 11:50 pm CDT

My Adoption Story

 I met my husband at age 24 and he was 59. Our age difference didn't matter because I knew right off that he would be the man I spent the rest of my life with. The only thing that did bother me was that I "desperately" wanted a baby, and he had already raised his 5 kids. Well, I ended up having to have a hysterectomy at age 26 and was just mortified!!! My husband assured me that we could adopt and I would love it just as much as If I had carried it myself. He adopted his first child at 3 years old. 

Well, I got a phone call one night from my brother and his wife, who already had 5 children of their own and she was pregnant again. They knew how devastated I was that I would never be able to have a baby and offered us the chance to adopt theirs!!!! I just about fell out of my chair!!!! 

To make a long story short, I was there for all of the Dr. appts., and delivery and at age 27 was finally a Mommy! 

It was probably the absolute most stressful thing in the whole world to have to go through, especially knowing that it ripped their hearts out to hand us this precious baby BOY, but they stuck it out and we all get along just fine. It was actually kind of awkward in the beginning because we still saw each other every week, but Cameron is now 3 years old and has all the love in the world from all 4 of us!!! My mom actually told me a few days ago that if someone was around us that didn't know the situation, they would never know that I didn't give birth to him. Actually, my husband was right too, I couldn't possibly love him anymore than I do right now even if I had him myself. 

 
October 30, 2005, 12:21 am CDT

Poem

Quote From: cutekoala

I am proud to be adopted.  I have 3 older brothers who my adoptive parents had naturally.  I found my birth parents and my brother who was also adopted.  I have a half sister and brother.   

I have a poem which I wish to share with all. Adoptees, Birth parents, Adoptive parents. 

Legacy of an adopted Child 

Once there were two women 

Who never knew each other 

One you do not remember 

The other you call Mother 

Two different lives 

Shaped to make yours one 

One became your guiding star 

The other became your sun 

The first gave you life  

And the second taught you to live in it 

The first gave you a need for love 

And the second was there to give it 

One gave you a nationality 

The other gave you a name 

One gave you a seed of talent 

The other gave you an aim 

One gave you emotions 

The other calmed your fears 

One saw your first sweet smile 

The other dried your tears 

One gave you up 

It was all she could do 

The other prayed for a child 

And God led her straight to you 

And now you ask me 

Through your tears 

The age old questions 

Through the years 

Heredity or environment 

Which are you a product of? 

Neither my darling, neither 

Just two different kinds of love 

  

I love this poem and enjoy sharing it with people who can relate. 

I love that poem too!! 

I wrote this poem to my brother and SIL on my son's "FIRST" birthday.....They are his BirthParent's. 

  

Once in a lifetime a special person comes along and makes someone's dreams come true. 

One year ago today, my dreams came true through you. 

I wanted only one thing in life, but it was never meant to be, 

A baby to call my very own who needed only me. 

I remember the day I got the call, I couldn't believe my ears, 

I was going to be a Mommy after waiting all these years. 

I know it broke your heart, but I hope one day you'll see, 

YOU made this tiny angel, and I promise to give him his wings. 

 
October 30, 2005, 3:28 pm CST

Our Adoption Story

We adopted our son at 5 months.  His mother was 16 and it was not feasible for her to raise him at that time, so she placed him with our church adoption agency.  That was 27 years ago and he is still the joy of our lives.  We met the whole birth family when he was 12 after much discussion between my husband and me, and also with him.  It was a wonderful, joyful experience that helped fill a hole in his life.  His mother and I are as close as sisters now and we all enjoy each others company.  We often laugh about him having 2 moms and his poor wife having 2 mothers in law. Maybe ours is an unusual situation, but it has worked extremely well for all involved.  And best of all, it was very good for him.
 
November 11, 2005, 1:20 pm CST

what happened to Luis,

 
 
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