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Topic : My Adoption Story

Number of Replies: 413
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:24:13 pm
Author : dataimport
Share your stories of adopting and raising kids, or being adopted, with us.

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September 14, 2005, 6:58 pm CDT

Thank you!

Quote From: kimbutton

Hi there, 

As the adoptive mum of two boys aged 10 and 11, I say tell him the truth! We started using the word apotion in ordinary conversation from the time our boys were tiny. We would say things like "I'm so glad we adiopted you" and "wow, its so cool God gave us you to adopt" we have found that in doing this and making it a natural part of our conversations, we have never had a problem with 'the big question' we talk about it regularly and naturally. I guess the hard thing is putting aside the natural anxiety we feel as adoptive mums. But you know when they are little, they just accept it as their specail stoiry. We also made a book for each of the boys when they were very small, telling their stories. 

Thank you so much for you support.  I know that the family i placed with my son will do the same as you did with your songs.  They are amazing.  I am sooo happy to hear that there are parents out there that do not hide adoption from their kids.  Reading the message boards of kids who were surprised and parents who didn't tell their kids broke my heart. You are an AWESOME woman. Thank you again 

 
September 14, 2005, 7:05 pm CDT

Thank you!

Quote From: luvmytally

Dear fellow birth mom-  

   

  

PLEASE PLEASE do yourself a favor and don’t beat yourself up!  Your son is going to think of you as his own savior…hero…etc.  I am very sad to hear that feeling like he’ll hate you in the future and that this thought is ruining your life. If ANYTHING you want to prove to him that because you placed him for adoption your life has had a significant change!!  When I placed my birth daughter about 6 months down the road I got drunk one night….I went through a serious life altering moment (if getting pregnant wasn’t enough!) and I thought about the future.  What would she think about me if she met me down the road say 15 years from now and saw me as a drunk…no schooling…no job...etc.  She would think that nothing changed.  I want her to be proud of me…hence the reason I hold my head up high.  You have a lot of things going for you!  You are awesome! Why would your son hate you?  Be glad you know these people who are raising him.  Have faith that they will raise him to look at the adoption process as being a life savor!  Things will works out don’t get discouraged!  You have done a wonderful thing, really.  Please, life your day to day life as if to prove that you have improved yourself for the better.  He was your life saver and you were his!  

  

Which much love and concern,  

  

Deborah  

Thank you for the support!   When I talk to my mommy about how I feel, she tells me the same thing. I OWE it to my son to "grow up" and doing something with my life.  I am SO
PROUD of you for making the right choice with adoption and I am also very proud that you did something with your life for your daughter.  My son really was the only thing that could have changed my life forever at that time and I am happy that GOD put him in my life so that I would get back on the right track.  I am also happy that GOD used me to give this AMAZING family another child.  Again, thanx for your support.
 

 
September 16, 2005, 3:38 pm CDT

I gave my baby up for adoption

Hi, I gave my baby up for adoption two days for my nineteenth birthday and I am now 23 years old. It has been the hardest thing that  i ever had to deal with. My family doesn't talk about it because they blame for it when they pushed me in my decision. I was not the right state of mind when I made my decision and my family knew that. I have a open relationship with my son, but I have not seen him for almost a year and that was my choice.
 
September 20, 2005, 8:26 am CDT

I am adopted

 I am adopted and I would like to share with people some feelings.   when you adopt your children out, make sure you send pictures and a letter for them to read at their conveniance. When they're ready.  I was adaopted when I was a baby.  My biological grandfather on my mothers side commited suicide and my biological father commited suicide.   I have no pictures or anything to know them by. My life will never be complete because I can't even see what my father looked like.  The rest of my biological family can't help or won't.  So I am stuck not knowing. It is an empty void. More than you think. Please don't think that once you give us up that it is forever.  With nothing, you make it forever.  Please pass along pictures and stories whether they want to look at them or not. At least it would be there if they want to know. They can always throw  the info. away. But if it is not there in the first place.... 

EF 

 
September 24, 2005, 6:27 pm CDT

I was Placed for adoption!

   26  years ago I was placed for adoption and recently I have come into contact with my birth mother and after this I have come to the realization that I am glad she gave me up.  All of my life growing up I always knew that I was adopted and had always wanted to meet my birth family.  My experience with my birth mother has not gone well as I find that she is a very selfish person and that makes me glad that she gave me up because I believe that I would have grown up the same way. 

   Today we don't have any contact as she has broken it off because she believes that I don't have a right to know where I come from, I want to know my birth father but she refuses to give me any kind of information about it she has decided that this is the best thing to do is to just cut off contact completely. 

  I still believe that there is hope that I will find my biological father but I thank the good graces above that I grew up with a family who loved me and I was happy.   

    

 
September 27, 2005, 6:42 pm CDT

My Adoption Story

Quote From: lonalea200

 I am adopted and I would like to share with people some feelings.   when you adopt your children out, make sure you send pictures and a letter for them to read at their conveniance. When they're ready.  I was adaopted when I was a baby.  My biological grandfather on my mothers side commited suicide and my biological father commited suicide.   I have no pictures or anything to know them by. My life will never be complete because I can't even see what my father looked like.  The rest of my biological family can't help or won't.  So I am stuck not knowing. It is an empty void. More than you think. Please don't think that once you give us up that it is forever.  With nothing, you make it forever.  Please pass along pictures and stories whether they want to look at them or not. At least it would be there if they want to know. They can always throw  the info. away. But if it is not there in the first place.... 

EF 

i adopted out a baby girl . she left the hospital before i did. i never seen her i couldnt if i had of i would of kept her and she would of had nothing. i did write to her and was told that it would be put in a folder for her to read if and when she wanted to. i did make a request of pictures of her when they took her home. i got two of them.. that was the last i ever seen of her . she died when she was sixteen years old. she commited sucide. i think it is a good ideal for photos to be sent both ways. to an agency, to send to the birth parents...
 
September 27, 2005, 6:54 pm CDT

help maybe on the way

Quote From: munchin2

55 years ago, my mother gave away my son at birth.  I was only 15 and did not know I was pregnant until the nite my son was born.  I know that is hard to believe, but I promise on the bible this is the truth.  The only info I have is the date he was born, where he was born, and possibly the last name of the women who my mother gave my son too.  I was heavily sedated and do not know the name for sure.  If I have found him (which I am not sure) he lives in the same state.  Since this happened 55 years ago I have no idea how to find him.  I have found excuses all my life not to find him.  I need to find him before I die.   If any one knows how to find him, please let me know.
there is a web sight called search angels. you might have to do a little research there but these people will look and take all your info that you do have and can help for free. ther are some that charge but go to the free ones they are the ones that do it from their hearts.. give it a try it might just work. maybe .....
 
September 27, 2005, 10:20 pm CDT

I was adopted and found birthparents

I was adopted at birth.  I have always known I was adopted.  I started searching for my birthparents after my third child was born.  I was always curious about them, but to hear my husband at the times family saying how the kids looked like their side of the family and I could not say that.  So the search was on and did not take long.  The private investigator called and said my birth mother was willing and excited to meet me.  Then she informed me on where she lived....only five miles from me almost my entire life!  We met 11 years ago this Nov.  She was married and had two other children, her daughter was a freshman when I was a senior in THE SAME SCHOOL!!!  I had three children of my own when I met her.  She was an instant Grandma.  Things have been better then I could have ever hoped.  We talk all the time, visit all the time.  My mom that raised me had passed away before I found my birthmom, but the dad that raised me has been so supportive.  We all get together for holidays and just plain visits.  My dad is funny, when he introduces my birthmom to some one he say's "this is Donna, she is the mother of my daughter".  And these are people that have known him for along time - then he has to explain.  I dont call her mom, I do refere to her as mom but that took me some time to do.  I consider her my mom it just doesnt feel right to call her that.  When I was in labor with my fourth (thats right, what was I thinking ha-ha) we called my birthmom and told her we were headed to the hospital.  We live four hours away from each other.  As I was in labor for some time to my surprise her and her husband walked through the door to my room.  I was overjoyed and they were there to see the birth of there grandson.  I do have some issues that have arrived and I am trying to deal and will.  My sister (their daughter) now has a 1 yr old and another on the way and I just see different bonding between her kid and mine.  I am sure that I am over looking something and I will talk to my birthmom about it some time its just not that easy when its not some one you were raised with.  Any way I have lots of advice and lots of hurdles I have over come so if you need any support I'm here.
 
October 3, 2005, 10:54 am CDT

The Omen

I was 15 when I had my daughter. I hid my pregnancy from everyone including myself for 8 1/2 months. When I told my mom, she put her arms around me and told me everything would be okay. SHe provided me with the facts and the strength to make a decision as to what I was going to do. I chose "open adoption". My mom and I met with an attorney to find out more about "open adoption". The attorney handed me a file of a couple seeking to adopt a child. I glanced at the file for a moment and then was told that the attorney and I would meet again to see more files and to pick a perspective couple. (Little did I know, the second meeting would not take place and the file I took a glimpse at was the couple the attorney chose.)  

The time had come, I was in labor. I was scared, numb, and full of emotion. SHe was born on June 17, 1991 at 4:47pm. (This date happens to be the birthday of both my father and my sister.) When she was finally given to me in my room, all I could do was hold her, kiss her forehead, tell her I loved her, and that I was sorry. I had her for three days until it was time to sign the papers. I sat in a chair surrounded by four nurses, the attorney, and my mom. I reached the first place to sign and I could not do it. I looked up at my mom like I was Five years old, seeking guidance. SHe bent down and whispered in my ear, "This is an omen. God took Goeffery (A son my mom lost shortly after his birth) from me so that he would be there to watch over your baby girl." That was all I needed. A calm set over me and away I signed.  

Three months had passed and life was getting back to normal, or as normal as it could be. I was walking home from school and my mom was at the gas station waiting for me. I instantly knew something was wrong. My mom told me that she had received a phone call from the adopting family and my daughter had been diagnosed legally blind. She had Nystagmus. She could tell you were human but not wether you were male or female. She could only see in black and white shadows. The couple who had her decided that she was taking too much time from their three year old son. They wanted me to have custody and them to have visitation rights. I, however, did not agree. She was taken to an adoption agency for minority and handicapped children. This agency found a couple that was seeking a sight impaired child to adopt. I met this couple and talked with them for a while. I found out how wonderful these people were and had no hesitations in giving my daughter to them. 

THE OMEN...This couple took Courtney into their lives and kept me in their lives as well. Courtney knows she was adopted and she knows where and who she came from. I receive pictures and letters every year. Best of all is that this couple made it so Courtney can see with the help of glasses. They love her and she is happy....She has an angel watching over her. 

I never did regret what I did. I know she needed more than I could have ever given her. I love her and think of her and her mom and dad everyday.  

Thank you for reading my story and....BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON... 

 
October 5, 2005, 9:11 am CDT

I too am a birth mother

I placed my little girl with loving parents on November 23, 1984.  I spent my entire pregnancy reading profiles so that I may find two people that were able to give my child the sort of life I would have had I had the means and opportunity.  They named her Elizabeth.  I have dreamt of the day when she calls me or knocks on my door. That will be the day when I feel like I won the lottery.  She will be the one to decide what kind of relationship we will have.  I now live in a nice town in Connecticut with two beautiful boys, 6 and 4, and a kind and loving husband.  I will be 40 years old in November.   

I want everyone who has been adopted to know that any mother that had the courage to place you with another family, did so from a place of love like I did so long ago.   

 
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