Topic : My Adoption Story

Do not give up hope.  I was adopted at the age of 15 months and after 55 years found my brother.  Try all the People Find web sites you can get to, that's how my son located the family.  First he found Aunts and that led him to my brother.  We had a reunion after 55 years of being apart.

I am a birth-mom who planned for the adoption of her baby girl who was born in December 2000.  On New Year's Day, I tearfully signed the papers to terminate my parental rights and with a heavy and broken heart, I handed my daughter to her mother. 

As to the adoptive parents being the 'real heroes' in adoption, I cannot agree with that statement entirely.   I think that Dr. Phil (God bless him!) needs to be a little more sensitive to those of us who are honest, law-abiding citizens and who selflessly sacrificed their desires and needs and put first in line the needs and best interests of their babies.

Placing a child for adoption is not something to take for granted.  That decision is painful, and time-consuming.  It takes much thought and many prayers with lots of love and support from friends and family, if at all possible, depending on the family dynamics during that time.  Although the grief was (and still is from time to time) very painful, I learned a vaiuable lesson in humility, putting my child first and myself last.  I love her so much even now, and I have a good relationship with her and her parents.  She knows she is adopted, and she knows who I am.  For now, there are no visits until we all agree that she is able to accept her life and be comfortable with her identity.

Yes, i have moments when it hurts, especially during  the holidays.   My water broke on Christmas Day, 2000, and she was born on December 27th.    My husband (not her birth-father) knows all about her and has met her a few times and is very understanding and supportive of my decision. I thank God for his support and compassion.  My family knows who she is; my mother has spent time with her and her parents with my blessing.  My mother and I grieved together during the few days after the baby was born and to this day, we share a special bond like no other mother and daughter.

My thoughts for any adoptive parents, I thank you for your courage and strength in dealing with your own infertility.  I thank you for your willingness to share your lives with a child that needs a home and family with lots of love and devotion. 

Hi all

I'd like to tell you all my little story.  I'm from Queensland, Australia and I guess the adoption laws vary in some states as well as all over the world.  My journey on the adoption trail started when I was 10 days old.  I was adopted by very loving people who had already given birth to 5 sons naturally and just wanted a little girl to spoil. That was me :)

My father & mother worked very hard for our family, Dad went to work and my mother worked in the house raising six children. We as children were never denied anything, our parents showed an interest in everything we did.  They were always at our various sports carnivals/games and training.  We always had family holidays together camping & caravaning. We were very fortunate. 

I was told I was adopted when I was about 8 years old.  It was something that never bothered me at all growing up, it actually was never really spoken about.  Most of my brothers didn't even like to mention it.  When I was pregnant with my first child I started wondering about my background, curiosity was killing the cat you could say.  By the time I had my second child I was well on the road of finding out information about my heritage.

I sent away for all my unidentifying information and placed my name on a register to have contact with any siblings.  I didn't want to have contact with my birth mother.  As far as I was concerned the only parents I had were my adopted parents, they are the people who bonded with me and raised me to have good values.  I felt that I would be betraying them if I was to have contact with my birth mother.

Not long after I registered for information the department contacted me to advise me that I had an older sister, she shared the same birth mother and was also placed for adoption.  Well I was completely overwelmed with emotion.  I'd always wanted a sister.  After some months of finding out information that I required to find her I went through the missing persons unit of the Salvation Army who acted as a mediator for us.  I finally met my sister, I can't put into words the emotions I felt.  I guess I felt complete to a certain extent.  My sister then applied for her non-identifying info to see if it listed a birth father, it did not.  What it did list though was another sister & brother. To cut a very long story short, we ended up finding out that I actually had 6 half sisters & 1 half brother who all shared the same birth mother.  My birth mother was 32 when she gave birth to me, the last of 7 girls.  My brother was born 4 years after me and was kept by our birth mother, she obviously didn't like girls :( 

My five half sisters live on the other side of Australia in Perth.  We have had a reunion and have all met each other.  I have bonded with probably only 2 of the 6 sisters I have, a couple I wouldn't even class as my friends, they are very different people.  My heritage is Aboriginal/Japanese/Irish, this my friends is another story.  My birth mother was from the stolen generation of aboriginal children, maybe this is some of the reason she did not keep us. My birth mother has had contact with some of the girls, but in Queensland I am unable to have contact as both myself & my birth mother have signed a form for no contact.  I thank my birth mother for giving me life, I thank my birth mother for giving me, the gift of love, to my adopted parents.  They are the only parents I will ever know and love.  I often wonder since becoming a mother myself, would you ever forget a birthday.  My birth mother gave birth to 8 children, how can someone give up so many children.  Maybe someone out there can give me some insight.

One question that always bugs me I guess, I will never have any information about my birth father, does he know I exist.  My Irish heritage will never be known.  There is so much more I could tell you about my journey but I think I'll have to leave that to another day.  If you have taken the time to read this posting, I thank you.  Have a happy day from downunder.

 I gave birth to a baby girl at summers end in 1947 in Kansas.I was 10 years old. I thought I was working things out with my parents to help me keep my daughter. Then I came home from school and the baby and everything pertaining to the baby was gone. I didnt get to say goodby or keep a photo of her. Or the papers of the birth or adoption. she had auburn hair and fair complection. I had been nursing her.Then She was simply gone and all traces of her gone too. My mother said, simply you have to find a way to deal with this,she is gone and wont be coming back , You will never see her again. She is with her new parents now. Foolish me I believed I had to sign to lose her, but  Not if you are that young.

My way of dealing was to forget.....but the pain was there the sence of  loss, they forbid me to ever speak of her again.My dreams at night were filled with her cries and hunting for her.

It was a different time filled with shame, There was no abortion, THANK GOD.But such a time of no one could find out. to much caring about  what will the neighbors say?

I was my own worst enemy I wouldnt agree to call her sister. She was my baby period. I didnt care who thought what, I guess I still don't.

I would give anything to see her. I have already told her brothers and sisters about her, but time keeps going by and I am getting old.

It's been a while since I've posted anything on here.  It's so easy to set yourself up for disappointment, sure that someone with the answers is going to happen to see your posting, and end the years of torment and wondering.  Checking the message board every day for a response, scanning other entries in case something, anything sounds familiar.

First of all, thank you to all of you who have posted on here.  It takes guts to open yourself up and share such a personal part of your life.  The succes stories are inspiring.  Even the stories with less-than-happy endings are inspiring in their own way, because they let all of us share in your lives, and we can all support you from behind our screens. 

I wish there was some way to bring this to awarenes in our society.  Too many people are ignorant of the tremendous good adopting can do, and the complex issues brought to light:  feelings of abandonment, integrating adoptees into the family structure, the delicacy of dealing with prior sexual abuse and  how those adoptees relate with family members and their own sanity...  There are so many issues of which the average Joe doesn't even realize they're ignorant. 

I am not going to give up hope.  I cannot live every day with the knowledge that I have two sisters out there somewhere, and just push that aside because it's too hard.  Too expensive, too time-consuming, too draining and heart-wrenching at every dead end.  Let's extend a hand and help each other up.  Here's my story.

My parents were in the Army when my mother got pregnant.  She had gone AWOL, and he was the MP that was sent to retrieve her.  She was 19, he was 22.  She was discharged from the Army primarily because of the pregnancy.  I was born in Onslow County, North Carolina on June 24, 1977, at the Naval Hospital on Camp LeJeune.  Shortly after my birth my parents relocated to Clinton County, Michigan, where they lived with 'friends of the family'.  Almost a year after, my birth my mother took off and left me with those friends.  My father obtained a job as a truck driver and took custody of me for three months, after which he voluntarily gave up parental rights.  As an infant I had chronic ear infections and allergy problems. 

My mother had two daughters before me: Donita, b. 1973, and Diana, b. 1975. 

Apparently my mother's family was from Detroit, MI, where they were "well known to Detroit police."

So that's my pre-adoption info.  If this rings a bell to anyone, please respond.

Thank you.

I am 22 and was first pregnant when i was 16 yrs of age, My ex was abusive and was heavy into alcohol and drugs... In the beginning i tried getting him to quit tried convincing him that he could stop, but it never worked, and by staying around i only endangered my own and my baby's life.   I was pulled into his routine and bad habits, I can see that a lot of people are very judgemental about drugs and the issues that exist, but for those of you, I would appreciate your comments kept to yourself at this point.  THe world of drugs is so manipulative and strong, if you've never been there, you can never know.  I tried to quit using and when i did or when i said no to using, i was hit and called every name of the book, I was told that that was why he would hit me, because i didn't use and he couldn't handle me if i didn't.   He got into some trouble in our home state, and wanted to run away, I remember telling him i wasn't going, that me and the baby were staying, but i was guilted into it, manipulated and somehow i agreed to leaving state with him... I was due april 1 we left feb.    i had my baby girl in a diff. state, no family no friends around, just him... as awful as it was, when she came i was just so happy, my little angel she was.   Of course it's easy to know that she was taken from me when she as four days old however, because of being called in for drugs, etc.   When i met with cps, I was sooo relieved, yes you would think someone would be upset their child was gone, but i wasn't, i was relieved that she was safe, and I knew she was it was what they told me, and this meant that I could get help, that I could finally quit using etc, with a reason behind it, and stick up for this no matter what he said.   I was so wrong to think that they were actually on my side however.  THe cps worker told me that i wouldn't need a lawyer as long as i cooperated and agreed to do what i was suppose to in order to regain custody.  They told me that their main goal is always family reunification.  They asked me in a meeting they told me i could send kimmi home to family but that if i did, i would not get to have visits with her while i was completing services.  I will admit at this decisions i was selfish, BUt i was so confident that i would do absolutely everything they asked, I should have nothing to worry about right?   IT was so hard seeing her at visits, i felt as tho she were no longer my baby, but i did everything, I complied with all of their rules and was completing all of my services.... i was four months in and still having CLEAN ua's and was more than half way done with my services!!!   I had a court date, the judge was very much so in favor of me, since i had showed such sincereity in doing what i needed to have her back.... but for some reason CPS argued and said it hasn't been enough time, we still feel like she can't be trusted, etc.  but the judge said no, she has complied and is completing her services the next court day is in one month, if she is continuing to do the same, she will be granted weekend visits in her home and we'll go from there.   I was so excited, I did it... I couldn't have been happier with the news... but at my next visit a week later, after it was over, i was arrested, for the original charge of child endangerment..... the warrant had just been put into the system.... coincidentally.   I was in jail for 45 days, so of course i missed my court date.... because of this instead of family reunification it was changed to proceed in lines of adoption.   a lawyer came to see me, told me that i would have no chance in trial, because to them i was just as sick as the woman who threw her child in a dumpster and left it for dead.   That comment has affected me since the day it was made.   i was given and let out on probation... when i contacted cps, i told them i was done, that i wanted my daughter home with family, i said she has no reason to be adopted, she has family who wants her and loves her.   They scuffed at me and asked me why i didn't do that in the beginning then... i laughed and said i had no idea you would do this to me, especially when you said you wouldn't.    I was told that because i had gone to jail that i would have to restart all of my services, and that i just wouldn't have enough time to complete them..... i was in shock, disbelief.....  i went with my parents first, for her tobe placed with them.... a homestudy was put into the act, but they did everything by mail and it was extremely time consuming.... longer story a little shorter here, they placed a caseworker who was new on my parents very important homestudy, this was her FIRST case..... they denied my parents because my mother was asked if i came to the door would she keep me out, my mom said it would be hard to do that to any of her children, but that she would do whatever she was told and needed to by the state. 

I tried to fight alone for my daughter, but when the decision was made to terminate my rights, i was going to appeal, but the lawyer i had, told me i was being selfish and that by doing that i would only risk the care o f my daughter being in the same home she's been in for thus long, that if i appealed she would be moved from home to home to keep her whereabouts unknown to me.   I gave up, i let it go, but never emotionally.... i'm 22 and i feel as though i've had so many breakdowns and what not that i feel as though i''m 80 some days.   I found out this easter that my aunt found my daughter after rights were terminated and has kept contact with her these long years now... she even told me that she went and visited her last year.... this easter was my daughters fourth birthday.   i didn't know how to respond.   so yes, now i do get to talk to my daughter every now and then, i've heard her sweet li'l voice, but she's not mine, she's stranger to me... it's hard.... I am expecting my 2nd april 28th 2008.... and i am sooo excited,  ever since my first daughter i have wanted nothing more but to have a baby in my arms again... i never thought i would get pregnant again i thought i was being punished.... I know that for that short time when she was taken that it was good for both of us, that it was a good thing for her to have gone into state care, but i will never accept that after completing my services.... WHICH i did do even tho it meant nothing ne more..... That i wasn't given the chance i was told i would have.  Yes i did wrong in the beginning and i was disciplined for it, but what is the point of reunification and services being done if i'm not given the second chance i so deserved.   I am not sure that i will meet my daughter, i don't know what her mind will think when she is older and old enough to finally understand more... I am not even sure if i could handle it myself at this point.  My aunt has asked me if i want to go and visit her next spring, as she is planning a trip down there... my baby is due in april, that would be kind of hard, and on top of that, i am uncomfortable bringing another child of mine into that horrible state.   I am wondering how it could be that they could deny my parents for her placement, but now, my parents have guardianship of my two nephews who were taken from my brother.... amazing how contradictory that is isn't it?    that is my story.

Will never trust the justice system again.

I have been a Foster adopt mom for 3 years and just love it.  My first adopted son was dropped off at a hospital with a ER nurse and his mother said that she couldn't keep him and walked away, no questions asked.  The next day, I received a call that there is a baby boy waiting for me to care for him.  I was so so excited  that I just dropped what I was doing and my husband and I went to go get him and when we looked at him; he was so TINY, only 3 pounds.  I have never felt so much love when I saw him for the first time that it really changed my life.  He didn't get to come home for 3 weeks due to him being a "preemie"

I kept the afgan that came with the baby and will forever hold it that he was wrapped in that, it has a special meaning to me that his mother was very caring to make sure that the baby was nice and warm.  If I were to see or run into her;.  The first thing I would say "Thank you so much for letting us have the opportunity of having your beautiful baby, he is in a very loving and warm home"  He is almost 3 now and we just love him like he is our own.

We also fostered another boy for 2 years and just recently adopted him. He is almost 2.  He fits well into our home and his new older brother.

And lastly, I was adopted when I was 3 years old and was in a wonderful loving family.  I did find my birthmother and the reunion went very well.  I am now 46.

We would very much like to adopt 2 more children into our home.

My husband and I have been a foster adopt parents for 3 years and have adopted 2 wonderful boys.  We have been waiting for a long time to get a placements for 2 more children from the State.  We just recently had our home study done and been relicensed.  Well here is the scoop.  The state does NOT want to place us right now because they think I am too anxious and impatient from calling too many times asking if there a child for us.  Another words, they think I am "emotionally unstable"  Hello!!!   I am sure all foster parents are anxious for placements, calling and checking in every so often.  So now they want me to take an assessment eval to see what my diagnosis is.  It involved 561 questions of true and false questions.  My counselor will make a decision  on what she thinks my diagnosis is.  So we are put on hold for awhile while this is going on and waiting for their answer if we can still be placed or not.  I think it is very unfair on their part.  There as tons of homes that children needs and we have room for 2 more and furthermore, we just got relicensed and passed a home study.  So after waiting for so long for a placement  which they say could take up to a year for placement and now waiting longer just makes me that much more anxious while we get this mess figured out.  It does not make any sense.  I just wish there was a way that we could speak our minds or talk to a lawyer and get this appealed to stop this nonsense.  We are 24 hour stay-at-home parents which is great to have and to want to bring in children in our home for love and protection, if we were not great foster parents than we would not have gotten relicensed and passed the home study.  Something is wrong there..