I certainly aplaud foster parents who devote their lives to children, they are true heros and do not get the credit in our society that they deserve and often not even the credit they deserve from the system. I was recently talking to a foster parent, she was going through a lot of trouble with a bio parent, the court, etc...and was being told by some other foster parents, just tell them to take the kid and run. She said that no matter how much crap she is put through she will not do that. She has made a commitment to him and that is a promise that she will never break. This is a foster parent that has had some difficult children, parents, grandparents, but has never once gave up on a child. I know as a worker that at 3:00AM if I need a bed in a caring home, she will be ready with a smile and open arms, children absolutely love her and for the most part, so do the parents. I know that there are a lot of great homes out there and that she is just one of thousands of Angels,
I just dont like to see the system portrayed by those with a bad experience. I am sorry for those who got a bad worker, bad deal, I am sure it happens, no state is the same. For those who are referring people to anti cps web sites, remember that we are talking about innocent children, children that deserve to be saved if they are in danger. It takes more than a phone call to remove a child, more than rumor, and it is rarely an easy decision.
I know this is a little contradictive of my negative comment but guess I just need to vent, might just be oversensitive these days to negative stories in that I have been struggling with finding a permenant placement for one child in particular who has become a victim of the system. She has been bounced from so many homes, so much heart ache, she rarely unpacks her bags these days. I just dont understand how someone can say, I will not bounce this child, talk of adoption one day, the next they sneak out so they are no longer welcome. If I tell you of their behaviors and you say no problem, dont bounce them when it happens and if You cant deal with something and you know it, dont take the child into your home.
If I was put under the microscope we put children under these days when I was younger I would have probably been commited, children can be some odd creatures, we were all that way at one time or another, so isn't is unrealistic to expect our foster children to be perfect when we are not. Imagine being that kid, taken from what you know for doing nothing wrong, your mom and dad stay home, pets stay home, but you are thrust int o a strangers home and expected to be okay with that. Of course they are eventually going to test some boundaries. I dont know about you but I have a hard time in new environments, so wouldnt it be even harder for a child to adjust. Anyway please, dont make the decision to remove kids from your home when your angry, take a step back, and evaluate the situation.
I just hope that anyone out in the world who reads this makes the commitment to keep children whether for 2 days or 18 years. If you have our own bio child and they get into trouble at school, sneak out, lie, whatever, you would not send them packing though we all would like to at one time or another, please look at foster children the same, it might be hard, but you might be the last person to give that child a true chance. Also, try hard not to take it personal when you are investigated, when a worker asks what seem to be invasive questions, it is all done for the safety of children, the well being of a soul, remember not everyone that gets into this business is doing so for the right reasons and if workers do not keep that in mind with even the best homes, children can end up left in abusive homes that are supposed to be protecting them. You cant imagine how tough it is to pull a child, place them in a licensed home, than find out, you placed them in harms way, destroyed the last remaining shred of trust they had in people.
I hope that some other people with positive experiences will pipe in, I love reading about great endings, happy stories, I would think everyone else does as well. We have enough gloom and doom stories on the news, never anything about those who devote their lives to children. I am truly impressed by those who have made the commitment to take in children despite the ups and downs of the system. I am also not trying to knock those who have removed children from their home, I know there are a lot out their that are still excellent homes, sometimes children cant make it in family foster care, sometimes personalities just dont mix, whatever the reason, I just hope that everyone tries everything in their power to make it work.
