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Topic : Foster Parenting

Number of Replies: 242
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:27:01 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you a foster parent or interested in becoming one? Are you considering adopting your foster child? Share advice and support with others here.

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April 27, 2006, 2:03 pm CDT

A Foster Parent NO MORE!!!!!!!!

I am suprised to see that nobody has posted to this site in awhile. I for one have stopped being a Foster Parent because of the false allegations that was made on us. We were foster parents for over 25 years off and on and the CPS finally hit that straw that broke the camels back. We have decided we will NOT let the system destroy our lives anymore. We loved every child we had in our home (even though there were a few that were big test for us) but we loved them. Everybody thinks when you become a foster parent you do it for the money. Little do they know you really don't get that much. We always put more money into our (kids) than we received each month. Because we wanted to help them. Then when you think everything is great, BAMMM CPS knocks you down and makes you feel as though you are nothing. We were treated like criminals even though the GALs for our kids told the CW NOT to take our kids they did it anyway. This was in July 2005. This is April 2006 and they have been moved 5 times and CW is looking for another placement putting it up to 6 times. What is wrong with these people other than their GOD COMPLEX they have for themselves? We would have kept these kids for life. We got them a gentle horse so they could get into 4H and horse shows. My husband plays music so we wanted to get them instruments so they could learn music. We wanted to give these children a loving and secure home. Where are they now? In the 5th foster home since they were ripped from us waiting to be put into the 6th.  

 
May 8, 2006, 7:51 am CDT

National Foster Care Month

I'm just spreading the word that May is National Foster Care Month 

  

I know that there are people here (parents, foster parents and children) who have been treated just awful by their local social services agency and that is a huge problem that needs to be addressed on a much larger level. But it does not diminish the need for qualified foster homes in this country, especially for teens. If they cannot be placed into foster homes, they may go to group homes, many of which are understaffed or the staff is poorly trained, leaving the children unsupervised and at risk for further victimization.   

  

  

 
May 8, 2006, 9:11 am CDT

Concerned about my angel

i'm a foster parent and curently we have a 7 year old and she has been in the system all of her life i have birthday cards from her family from when she turned a year old! they keep telling us they are going to take rights then another family member pops out of the woodwork and says they will take her but noone has ever been approved her b/mom literaly can't take care of her her dad is no where around and they were still letting her have visits an hour a week til about 2 months ago when the b/mom vanished . now we are waiting on the courts again to give this sweet little girl a permentate home she just needs to know where she belongs and with us not knowing if she will be ours forever that makes her worry cause she doesn't want to loose us as her family! It is very depressing what they put these children through they don't think of the best interest of the children cause if they did she would have been adopted a long time ago. And she would know where she belongs. I hope this gets resolved soon. we have court again next month i'll keep everyone posted   

 
May 10, 2006, 11:18 am CDT

dealing with bio parents/drunks

 I have my best friend's son, who is 17 and will be 18 in june. I have raised him for 5 years after his dad died, because his mother and new step dad didn't want him. now after almost 5 years they call and say they want him moved back with them, by the end of may, and they will carpool him 75 km one way, each day. this is right smack in the middle of his diploma exams. that was march, 10 days ago his mother calls him to say she won't be able to attend his gr 12 graduation because they dcored a great deal on a trip to cuba, at the same time of his grad. this past sat they call to remind him they are off to montana, driving, for a 12 day shopping trip. so thats the big expensive trip they couldn't possibly get out of to attend his grad. now they love him soo much that they want him under their wing again? it just so happens he turns 18 in june, coincidence, not likely. when he turns 18 he becomes elegiable for his dads inheritance, that we know for a fact was spent by these two over the last 5 years, so why then would it matter to get control of him at this stage? they paid the utilities for the last 5 years and I covered the rest, so its not about costs? he knows he has three options, stay with me and they'll cut him off we're certain, go with them and live under an alcoholic roof that is just bizaare at the best of times, or go and at the first sign of trouble return here. with that knowledge he is still paralyzed by fear. this isn't the first pschological abuse inflicted by her but I think it's the last, in his eyes, which ends their relationship and he doesn't go there yet, despite the obvious. I'm out of ideas. he is, and will continue to be safe, while with me. the money involved from his dad is not significant and certainly not worth becoming enslaved to their control in order to get a chance at the prize. I know through contacts that the money was spent by her in the first three months after the death, but I am not sure if the lad totally believes it. I guess I'll see if my influence gave him enough tools to reason through the bs and believe what he see's, not what he's told. any ideas out there? any other speculation as to why they would suddenly flip like this?
 
May 12, 2006, 3:50 pm CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

Doctor Phil. Foster Parenting is a good thing except for one thing they maybe handicapped and maybe in a wheelchair aswell. But as for Foster Parents might have kids on their own aswell.-- 

Many parents like having kids of their own aswell. I know this because Robin McGraw did have 

her childrens of her own. See you in near future. Well I had better close now. Sincerley Your.---- 

Russell Vlaanderen.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 
May 16, 2006, 8:36 am CDT

Not happy with 21 year old son's current relationship

My son just turned 21 in April, he met a 28 year old woman in court paying for a ticket.  Since then he has been seeing her, I told him that his dad and I do not approve of this girl because of her age.  He tells us that she doesn't look her age, and he likes her.  We told him that we do not want him to be with her, but he is really in like with her and has been seeing her.  We haven't met her and I am not thrilled too, because I do not want to seem like I am accepting the situation if I meet her. I am just afraid that if they have a sexual relationship, that he will get hooked on her, and then it will be worse.  Our son lives with us, we have also a 23 year old girl that is going to college at home, and an 18 year old that is in high school. I am stressed out about this, and confused on how to handle this, what should I do and say to my son? 
 
May 18, 2006, 10:13 am CDT

It just got much worse

Quote From: hollowpoin

 I have my best friend's son, who is 17 and will be 18 in june. I have raised him for 5 years after his dad died, because his mother and new step dad didn't want him. now after almost 5 years they call and say they want him moved back with them, by the end of may, and they will carpool him 75 km one way, each day. this is right smack in the middle of his diploma exams. that was march, 10 days ago his mother calls him to say she won't be able to attend his gr 12 graduation because they dcored a great deal on a trip to cuba, at the same time of his grad. this past sat they call to remind him they are off to montana, driving, for a 12 day shopping trip. so thats the big expensive trip they couldn't possibly get out of to attend his grad. now they love him soo much that they want him under their wing again? it just so happens he turns 18 in june, coincidence, not likely. when he turns 18 he becomes elegiable for his dads inheritance, that we know for a fact was spent by these two over the last 5 years, so why then would it matter to get control of him at this stage? they paid the utilities for the last 5 years and I covered the rest, so its not about costs? he knows he has three options, stay with me and they'll cut him off we're certain, go with them and live under an alcoholic roof that is just bizaare at the best of times, or go and at the first sign of trouble return here. with that knowledge he is still paralyzed by fear. this isn't the first pschological abuse inflicted by her but I think it's the last, in his eyes, which ends their relationship and he doesn't go there yet, despite the obvious. I'm out of ideas. he is, and will continue to be safe, while with me. the money involved from his dad is not significant and certainly not worth becoming enslaved to their control in order to get a chance at the prize. I know through contacts that the money was spent by her in the first three months after the death, but I am not sure if the lad totally believes it. I guess I'll see if my influence gave him enough tools to reason through the bs and believe what he see's, not what he's told. any ideas out there? any other speculation as to why they would suddenly flip like this?
 my lads' step brother, 19, Jim (lets call him jim, step father vermin, bio mom loretta, the lad I have, micheal and me orvil) was hit head on friday by a semi-load of gravel, at 100 km/hr 60 mph. he suffered a broken neck, punctured lung, open compound fractures of every limb, every bone in his face was broken, broken ribs-open compound, and is bleeding into his brain  and it can't be stopped. the doctors can't operate as he is too unstable. they are keeping him comatose and in cryo while pumping him full of antibiotics to try and head off the obvious infection risk. the parents were called friday night. on  sunday they (loretta and vermin) called me from their "shopping trip" to say they couldn't get home until very late monday, by air? they were 700 km from home, they drove there, and there's two drivers, who could take turns to drive the 700 km in a maximum of 7 hours. so from friday afternoon until late monday to get home, while his oldest son jim lays in life threatening condition. this was important for micheal to witness, because it showed him that he wasn't being singled out by them for their abusive behaviour and they really don't care about anyone but themselves and alcohol. he was, of course, very upset at the news of the accident, but seems somewhat more at ease with himself now. he is not as scattered either which is my signal that something is up.
his mother called micheal this morning, at school, on his cell phone. not to update him on his step brother's condition, but to ask if we were moved out yet. she hasn't been back to ICU since arriving late monday.  the step father vernon, was escorted out of the hospital for dunken behaviour. its a good thing the poor boy has a sober mother and sisters, to stay with him or he would die alone.
  I had to laugh when  micheal said to his mother that "we could've moved faster if orvil  was able to afford a powerchair, instead of the manual wheelchair he has, but then, he wouldn't have been able to pay you rent". I couldn't stop laughing at his wit.  it was the first time in my knowledge that he has challenged her so perhaps he has a sense of boundaries after all.
If he can keep his head through all of this then I know I have a survivor on my hands, but right now I am still keeping vigil.
 
May 27, 2006, 2:04 pm CDT

The System took My kids away!!!!!!!

The system sucks they took my kids actually my sister thought she had no choice but to take them and now they have been in fostercare since late December! Tooken why because I at the time couldn't provide a home there aligations are all lies and it's basically slander and they even said at the courts I was making out with mky son can you believe that??? Sick those CPS workers theyv'e done nothing but ruin my family my kids were in no trouble before getting straight A's and now there getting F's and caught fighting at school!! All they want is to be be with me and I'm losing faith WHAT DIO I DO? CAN ANYONE SHED SOME LIGHT AND TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO
 
May 30, 2006, 12:54 am CDT

Tell the whole story

Quote From: myers71

The system sucks they took my kids actually my sister thought she had no choice but to take them and now they have been in fostercare since late December! Tooken why because I at the time couldn't provide a home there aligations are all lies and it's basically slander and they even said at the courts I was making out with mky son can you believe that??? Sick those CPS workers theyv'e done nothing but ruin my family my kids were in no trouble before getting straight A's and now there getting F's and caught fighting at school!! All they want is to be be with me and I'm losing faith WHAT DIO I DO? CAN ANYONE SHED SOME LIGHT AND TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO
Could you please fill us in a bit more? How old are your children? CPS normally do a very thorough investigation before removing children. Has your situation improved since December? Maybe you could get them back now if you are settled. Do not lose faith. You have to fight for your kids, fight until your last dying breath, that will show your kids how much you love them, and it can undo alot of the damage being done now, or atleast allieviate it.
 
May 30, 2006, 12:58 am CDT

I feel so sorry for you

Quote From: hollowpoin

 my lads' step brother, 19, Jim (lets call him jim, step father vermin, bio mom loretta, the lad I have, micheal and me orvil) was hit head on friday by a semi-load of gravel, at 100 km/hr 60 mph. he suffered a broken neck, punctured lung, open compound fractures of every limb, every bone in his face was broken, broken ribs-open compound, and is bleeding into his brain  and it can't be stopped. the doctors can't operate as he is too unstable. they are keeping him comatose and in cryo while pumping him full of antibiotics to try and head off the obvious infection risk. the parents were called friday night. on  sunday they (loretta and vermin) called me from their "shopping trip" to say they couldn't get home until very late monday, by air? they were 700 km from home, they drove there, and there's two drivers, who could take turns to drive the 700 km in a maximum of 7 hours. so from friday afternoon until late monday to get home, while his oldest son jim lays in life threatening condition. this was important for micheal to witness, because it showed him that he wasn't being singled out by them for their abusive behaviour and they really don't care about anyone but themselves and alcohol. he was, of course, very upset at the news of the accident, but seems somewhat more at ease with himself now. he is not as scattered either which is my signal that something is up.
his mother called micheal this morning, at school, on his cell phone. not to update him on his step brother's condition, but to ask if we were moved out yet. she hasn't been back to ICU since arriving late monday.  the step father vernon, was escorted out of the hospital for dunken behaviour. its a good thing the poor boy has a sober mother and sisters, to stay with him or he would die alone.
  I had to laugh when  micheal said to his mother that "we could've moved faster if orvil  was able to afford a powerchair, instead of the manual wheelchair he has, but then, he wouldn't have been able to pay you rent". I couldn't stop laughing at his wit.  it was the first time in my knowledge that he has challenged her so perhaps he has a sense of boundaries after all.
If he can keep his head through all of this then I know I have a survivor on my hands, but right now I am still keeping vigil.
I feel so sorry for you, but at the same time I am so happy that you have been there to step up in this young mans life. You have probably saved him more than you can ever imagine. He seems to be getting an understanding about his mom, you need to let him know that it is ok to love her, she is his mother, but he doesnt need to live with her in order to love her. He is the most important person in his life and he needs to take care of no. 1. I am thinking about you in this situation, please keep us informed as to what happens!!
 
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