Topic : Anorexia

I've always suffered from depression. It's biological and environmental, and restricting calories doesn't help either ... I know that.

 

I've been on every anti-depressant available and other meds as well. I really need some therapy. But therapy costs money and I don't have it. I try to do cognitive behavioural exercises on my own, but I think I need a therapist to work with me. I know I do.

 

I do what I can to get by.

 

Invisible Ink

Hey, Nerina. Your name is really pretty. :) 

 

A least you got rid of part of your eating disorder. That's amazing! But your self-esteem and body image need work and you can work on that!

 

I know what it's like to be told you look pretty or beautiful and not believe it. Or to be told you are thin enough when you all you can see is fat (at 70 pounds). I'm not at a low weight now, but all the eating disorder behaviours are there.

 

I also eye thin and beautiful women and wish I could look them! So pathetic that we do this.

 

Take care.

 

Invisible Ink

I am 13, and I am the skinniest think since a twig. Doctors have told my dad I am anorexic, but it os soo not true! I dance everyday for 3 hours. My sister is 21 and looks 17. Everyone tells her to be a model, but thats what I want to do since that model episode. I hope they don't put ona band because my bmi is 14. Please help me deal with kids at school who call me names. I asked to use the bathroom during lunch and a kid called me belimic.

hi im 15,  ive struggled with  an eating disorder for almost 3 years now. seeing the show on tuesday made me angry. i really do think that he media has alot to do with. Sometimes i think that it is the pressure from guys that makes me want to be thinner and thinner. But, all my guy friends think thats unatrrative. I really think this issues lies with competiton. All girls want to be thin. secretly or not i think we all judge each other and compare ourselfves. I have been to treatment more than once and everytime i go, it makes me want to get better. Going back home is always the hardest though. Its kind of like you have been dropped back into the same old situation with the same triggers as before. I went into treatment in august and got out in mid september. everyday  is a struggle. I am looking for people who can support me. i want to recover. People tell me i am extremly "thin" but i dont exactly see the extremly part. i will never be happy with my body. i have seen the hbo documentery called "Thin" and it made me very upset. they only showed the girls who didnt do well in treatment and who werent very possitve and who were the thinnest in the hospital. Its not all about how thin we are its about how sick and messed up our brains tell us we look. i think dr. phil  needs a show with woman who have fought an eating disorder and won. i think that would be very very helpful and motivational to all people with bad body image.


- M.O

I was and still am thin yet not a day goes by where I'm told I'm "too thin." When I was your age I was called numerous names that made me feel very self conscious. And they 'hurt' too." Now at 26 I'm not as thin nor can I consume as much as when I was growing up. ( I just obediently ate more as family and friends put so much stress about my "chipmunk on stilts" figure.)

But it still irks me why others find it "their right" to tell me I'm too thin and should put on a few pounds!

What would happen if I was overweight and needed to lose a few? Would people come up and just as if it was their right tell me I'm overweight???

 

The Social Stigma makes no sense and I've found by knowing and accepting myself for who I am, striving to be healthy and active, positive and confident in myself has made the biggest difference. Doctors also now have mixed opinions on the present "BMI"( Body Mass Index), Chart as it is too broad and lacks true individual assesment. So don't let those numbers get you down. As long as You feel healthy and happy that's really what counts.

 

So go for your dreams!!! If you have a "Model's figure" and the gift and desire to become one then grab your "Star" and with love and passion, follow it. If you're meant to do body building, figure skating, acting, or like myself be a nurse then that's only what you can know in your heart.

 

You'll never make everyone happy. And if our health professionals who come back telling us their statistics indicate a rapid increase in obesity and now can't find any one to blame except the fashion industry, let them try. I'd rather see a "naturally thin" model in a beautiful gown, dress, or bathing suit rather then an overweight one.

And that goes for the majority of people! No one will pick up a magazine modeling a heavy set individual. Just ask around!

And if models or "wanna-be" models risk their health to become the best top model , they're in denial as to where their REAL talents and energies should go. That is NOT the responsibility of the industry.

The best you can do to deal with your pears is strive for self confidence. While you're working on that keep yourself "armed" with responses that turn the attention back on them. I know it's not easy but I survived.

Best of luck to you.

Well, you said it right there in your message:

"I will never be happy with my body."

That's exactly what you wrote and there's your answer as well. I'm sure you know from your treatments that an eating disorder is only a symptom/symptom of a much larger emotional issue inside you. Three years is already 3 years too long but you're 15 and can change this "monster" you so hate inside of you. Don't wait for a magic cure or another therapist to help you. And don't arrive at age 30+ to realize the damage you've done to your body physically and which you won't always recover from.

Fifteen is a tough age as Society's and fellow peers "Opinions " are a huge influence. Give yourself a break. Even a Hug for that matter. You're already very insecure and have a very low opinion of yourself. It breaks my heart to hear teenagers like yourself already entering adolescence with so much self- imposed stress.

 

Check a book store and see how many diet books there are. The media is full of false "gimmicks" as well. And is everyone "thin and happy?"  Of course not. Because weight, height, outer beauty doesn't equate inner beauty. You must trust yourself enough to believe you can learn to love yourself for who you are inside. It's not easy. There's no "one" answer nor the "right" treatment. Only you can slowly start taking one negative thought and turning it around to a positive one. Find another outlet/activity that makes you feel good about yourself.

Most of all remember, we live in an imperfect world and the only person who will never desert us, stop loving us regardless, IS OURSELVES!

 

It's not easy to "break" a bad habit/pattern/obsession but once you know that it's not working in your best interest strive harder to turn it around and allow yourself the love that you give others like your family, your pets, and anything else. Destroying yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally because of what "Others" think isn't being fair to yourself. You sound intelligent and aware of the social pressures around you. Who will you  allow to "control" what you do and who you are? I hope you chose yourself and win the struggle to come out on top as each of us has a place on this planet. So strive for a positive "You" and someone who one day may be able to turn around another individual's life that's hanging in the balance as your own seems to be now.

You are only 13 so you can't use the regular BMI calculations.

 

Do you restrict your intake? Are you truly not engaging in eating disorder behaviour. Three hours of dancing take a lot of food and energy. Have you ever purged your food?

 

I am not saying I don't believe you ... I just want to make sure you aren't in denial.

 

Again, I am not jumping on you. Just want to make sure you are safe.

 

Invisible Ink

But the truth is most people don't recover fully from their eating disorders. It's hard to be positive because part of an ED is the negative mindset.

 

And showing people who have recovered have from EDs doesn't bring in ratings. People want to see emaciated young girls. It's because of shows like Dr. Phil and Oprah that people expect everyone with an ED to be emaciated. If you aren't emaciated, people say  "but you don't look like you have an eating disorder". It's true! I've been there.

 

Where did you go for treatment and what did you find to  be the most effective part?

 

Invisible Ink

I'm 28 and have had anorexia for 6 years now.  It's been an up and down struggle, but lately I've been doing pretty good.  My problem is my part-time job.  It work with a lot of younger kids.  Earlier this week they were speaking of the documentary "Thin".  The were degrading these girls, saying how shallow they were and how stupid they are for "just not eating" or purging.  I wanted to scream out, "HELLO, I'm hear, I've been there, done that and it's not that easy."  But instead I just kept quiet and everything they said felt like a personal bash against me.  With everything in the media the everyone thinks they are an expert on eating disorders.  But the fact is you never know who is suffering.  It comes in all shapes and sizes.  I wish now I would have said something, but it's too late.  I just keep stewing on their comments and want to restrict so that I am seen as waif thin again.  I know I cannot.  I have to much at stake now; a good job, husband, home to take care of.  Thanks to everyone who has posted encouraging words that keep me going!

•   "I just keep stewing on their comments and want to restrict so that I am seen as waif thin again..."

And this isn't shallow?  I mean, it really is.  I know my desire to be thin is keeping me undereating.  It's shallow, alright.