Topic : Anorexia

Your are in the beginning stages of developing anorexia.  Usually full blown anorexia occurs in early adulthood late teens.  It usually starts with the obsessive desire and over preocupation to be thin.  I am sure you are picking one part of your body that look fat and overemphasizing that area.  It is a form of body dymorphic disorder.  What type of self mutilation are you engaging in? cutting, burning?  I wonder have you been sexually abused?  I think starving yourself is a form of self mutilation.  I think you need to go to a therapist who specializes in this type of issue.  There is a book called Self cutting that an expert writes about patients he helped and enlightens the reader with what trauma a person who self mutiliates has endured.  I think if you have a family friend or aunt or someone you are able to speek with you should go to them and tell them your feelings.  I would like to know what your family life is about because that is what is helpful to know to help you move into the correct direction to getting help.  My brother used to self mutilate by burning himself.  I know he was sexually abused by family members.  He too is over obsessed with his body and I think he engages in bulimic rituals to control his weight.  He has a form of body dysmorphic disorder.  So please if you feel comfortable please tell me about yourself.

Great. haha (sarcasim) its pretty much the same way you described it. I do tend to pick apart my  puggy stomach and my huge thighs more than i look at anything else as being fat. and im very obsessed with trying to make them thinner. Uhm, well usually I just cut myself... but i've burnt myself 2 times, and punched myself so hard that its resulted in major brusing.

 

And... about the sexual abuse thing, i've never told anyone this before, because im embarrassed by it. and when i say never told anyone... i mean anyone. including my parents, but when i was four my cousin told me we were going to play a new game... and being the fun loving four year old that i was I jumped with joy at the excietment of a new game. He told me that to play we both had to take all of our clothes off and get in bed together. =/ Then im sure you can imagine everything else that happened.

 

Trust me, i have no family member i can talk to. The only one i could talk to was my nana, and she passed away in June. And i mean, i could talk to my best friend, but i know how eating disorders and self mutilation pull people away from their friends, and i dont want that to happen. I need all the friends i can get. I guess i could talk to my youth pastor. maybe. if i could some how find the courage to.

 

You said that you think i need to go to a therapist who specializes in this type of issue, i would. but that would mean telling my parents. and this is my secert. its a secret that runs my life, but still its my secert. I cant tell them. They wouldnt understand. They dont understand anything i do. Plus, I really dont think we have the money to send me to a therapis. Besides. Although this is going to sound really really weird, Im terrified of therapists. =/ They just creep me out. They seem to calm and rational about everything. And they always want to know how your feeling. My phobia probably stems from the fact that i dont think anyone cares, and if you have to pay someone to listen to you... you know they dont really care. They are just pretending to listen and give advice so that they get their money. (which is probably totally inaccurate, butttttt its they way i think.)

 

I really dont think you want to know about my family life. Its not a good one. And it really pains me to talk about. But, I guess I'll let you know. i mean after all, its always easier to tell someone about your problems who you dont know! =D Well, lets see to start off with my biological father left me before i was born. He wanted nothing to do with me and because my mother refused abortion he left her and wished death upon me. i've since tried to contact him, and he told me to die and go to hell. then my adoptive father has had 5 affairs on my mother. yes... 5. with 5 different women. and hes mentally abusive. Hes not physically abusive, well he use to hit us when we did bad things, like spankings, but he hasnt for a few years.  Hes at work all the time. but thats okay with me, considering he yells a lot and tells me he hates me and that im a screw up. then my mom. shes just dumb. she stays with my dad even after 5 affairs. the only real reason as to why i can think of is because she is disabled and cant work. so i do all the work around the house. i clean, i do dishes, i cook, i do laundry, and i watch my sister while she goes to gamble. every day... every single day... my mom and my dad fight. they threaten divorce everyday. last week my mom kicked my and when i got back from church that night, he was back in the house. oh thats another thing. im a very strong Christian and my parents are both athiest. which for some reason everyone finds soooo weird. so they are constently on my back about how stupid i am for believing there is a higher power and that he saved me and that one day im gonna go to heaven and live happily for eternity. oh, and if i ever do anything wrong im called things like b*tch and dumb @$$ and stuff like that. yea. my family life pretty much sucks.

How are u doing now zenbaby?  I still talk to the same guy but it like there is nothing there.  I love him but I am being very cautious,  Really, how are you doing?  May god bless you,    Sandy

First of all... hi everyone!

 

Secondly, I was wondering what everyone's opinions are of how Dr. Phil pushes recovery on to those with eating disorders. It seems to me while recovery is needed and ideal I don't hear any mention of the high cost of treatment and also the limitations of what insurance will cover. Not every person suffering with an eating disorder has the ability or the resources to pay for treatment... this has been what has prevented me from seeking treatment for several years. It's just my opinion that the aspect of outrageous costs go completely ignored by the media figures and the effort lies in creating a happy ending. Am I the only one who thinks this way?

Okay, this is just my honest opinion. I think that its a bunch of bull for Dr. Phil to push recovery onto those of us with eating disorders. I mean... yes, recovery is needed. (at least i guess it is.) but some of us arent ready to recover. And pushing recovery onto people may just make them worse. I know that if I were to tell someone about me, and they were to push recovery on me, I would just fight back even more and prove to them that I dont have to eat because Im in control. Honestly, thats how I would react. If someone were to find out and try to push me to recover so that I can be "happy" and "healthy" I know that I would resist more to prove that its not under their power.

 

But, say that those with eating disorders did want to recover. Very few can. Its way tooo expensive. Honestly I dont understand why we should have to pay so much just for some help. Professional help should be cheap, affordable, and affective. We shouldnt have to pay thousands of dollars to become normal, we should have to pay maybe 100 dollars. And we should still get the same amount of care, attention, service, and affectivness as we would paying thousands of dollars. The cost is just too expensive which leaves many young girls and boys, such as myself, without a way to recovr. its a bunch of bull.

I agree with much of what you say. I feel that recovery does, at times, need to be forced as many of us would never enter recovery if not for the influence of others, but at times treatment can be uneffective and push a patient further down into this disease.

 

As for the cost... well, welcome to America's profit-oriented health care system. I don't agree with it, but its the ugly truth... nevermind the emphasis towards treatment and not on prevention and you have one expensive medical bill, and some very welthy doctors and drug companies. Personally I feel that resources need to be available for those with eating disorders to at least find hope within a healthy community and I'm not talking about "pro-ana" types forums... I'd shut them down myself if I could... oh wait, that's right, I've done that already. ;P

 

Seriously though I see more resources for quitting smoking and for depression and alcoholics than I see for eating disorders. Sort of makes me wonder, does society like to watch us suffer? One only needs to read the tabloid headlines and watch entertainment news to see how much we focus on who's "scary skinny" or has "cottage cheese thighs". Way to boost self-esteem America... I, for one, am very ashamed of how our society views those among us who suffer.

Tell her she is beautiful no matter what,  How is she doing now?

For one, be yourself.  you dont know what you are getting yourself into.  You will suffer for the rest of your life.  Been there and done that!

Dr.Phil is just trying to help the best way he knows how.

Hi there. My name's Danielle and I'm a 19 year old girl that has been dealing with a lot of problems for a long time. I have BPD and I cut up every part of my body that is able to hide with clothing and sometimes chemically burn when I feel really bad. Anyways, I am down to 100-400 cals a day, changing so I lose weight, and I pretty much hate myself. I'm fat, scarred, and a terrible friend. Boys use me then tell me how disgusting I am. My friends leave me eventually when they find out I'm a cutter, they are always telling me how I'm not fat, but I know they are just trying to make me feel better because they are thin and want me to think I am like them. Anyways, I don't want to recover because I am not skinny enough yet.