Quote From: preppygalAwe! It makes me feel so good to know that I helped you at least a little bit! And you are so kind! And I am literally THRILLED to hear that you fought your ED and won the battle!!! Now, I know it does not mean recovery, it just means that you have worked up the strength to fight the ED...which is great because you did not give into the temptations that come along with the ED. You can now own the satitisfaction of kicking a habbit (even if it was only for 2 days!). It is a scary step, but it is well worth the effort! Trust me on that. I am soooo proud of you for not purging in two days!!! Take it one day at a time, and I know you can do it. You also asked about how I am doing. Well, I have not taken any more diet pills in about 13 days. I have cut down purging. I am back to restriction, but I am tryong not to everwhelm myself by cutting everything at once. That justy wouldn't work for me! Did I ever post here about my heart? Well, my last EKG was abnormal and showed I was at risk for a heart attack. I was refered to a cardiologist, but I just haven't had the time to schelual an appointment with him. But as a result of my heart not being very strong, the doctor has now prevented me from doing cheerleading. So I have to wait untill fall sports season. Bummer! The doc said that once the cardiologist deals with me, he must mediaclly clear me to do a sport. I don't even think I want to try to do cheerleading again. I am going to suck by fall because I have taken so much time off of cheering! That was a major set-back that triggered me to take diet pills and restrict even more. I think I am slowely over-coming that, though. But now I am scared to ever look foward to anything because with my luck, things will never work out. My weigh-in appointment was to be this Thursday, but that was canceled, so I don't know when the next time I will be getting weighed will be. I randomness though! Probably part of the OCD. lol. But last appointment I had with the doc, I had lost weight and my pulse was soo high! It was 120....but I believe that was probably because of the diet pills I was on at the time. And for all you here that may not know, a normal heart rate is between 78 and 100 (even 100 is a little high). Once it goes over 100, you are what they call "tachacardia". That means your heart is too fast for your body and you may be in danger. But other than that, I seem to be doing better. Like I said, I have stopped the pills, so thats a plus! But anyways, thanks for asking about me!!! I can really relate to you, julie! I wish I could grab you through the computer screen and give you a big hug!!! Oh, Katie, we haven't heard from you in a while, how are you??? I hope you are OK! And everyone else.....whats up? Well, looking foward ti hearing from ya! ::Hugs:: Love, Ashley
Hey girl! Thanks for the hug, lol! And congratulations on not taking those pills! I am very proud of you.....one step at a time and one day at a time we will make it through :)
Wow, your EKG stuff is scary. I know when I had my last EKG it also said abnormal, but they were not worried at all (weird, I don't know if they knew about my anorexia though). I can't believe how high your heart rate was! Do you ever take your pulse on your own? I recommend doing that because I know I always get nervous when I am at the doctors and so I know if it is normally that high or low or whatever! I hope your poor little heart is ok............it makes me sad to know how much our bodies suffer. I read another post of yours where you were talking about teeth. That is also so scary. It is so hard to believe that you or any of us could actually lose our teeth. Are your other bones ok (not that teeth are bones, but calcium, you get my idea)? I have osteopenia because of the ED. They think it's reversable though. I am not amenorrehic anymore so they are hoping it's reversable. I am so glad to hear that you are also fighting this monster. It is pretty much impossible to stop all the behaviors at once, so I think you are doing a wonderful job my dear! I know after I quit the self injury, I started purging. And now that I am stopping that, I am scared of what's to come! Hopefully just a litle restricting will get me by, lol. Do you have a meal plan you have to follow? I remember you said you were in treatment, so I just wondered. Have you ever been to residential? Just curious. I haven't if you wondered. I should have been but our family couldn't afford it and insurance doesn't cover it. You know what. I can really relate to you too. It makes me happy to know that there our people out there who understand! Do you know what? I was thinking about what you were saying about how anorexia serves a purpose. It is meeting some of my needs and that there are other ways of meeting those needs. Honest to goodness, I had never thought of that before! I mean I knew it was meeting some of my needs ie. identity, coping skill, comfort, punishment, etc. But it NEVER occured to me that there are other ways to meet those needs. THANK YOU! I will bring that up in therapy tomorrow! I need to figure out other ways to meet my needs and then maybe I will not be soooo fearful of recovery. Thank you again, and I am SO proud of you!
Julie
