Hi everybody. I am new to the Dr. Phil message boards, but right now I feel very desperate. I have been anorexic for 6 years and am fighting very hard to stay in recovery. I am so desperate for this pain to stop, I am sometimes scared of myself. I wish it would just all go away. My mind has been taken over by the anorexia and I cannot seem to stop it. I am trying to set realistic goals about recovery and today I ate lunch by myself and I am proud of that, but this battle is really taking it's toll on me. I don't want to do anything lately. I just want to sit at home and cry because I cannot seem to get the anorexia out of my head. I feel so worthless and lazy and I can't get those thoughts out of my head. I have to go to work tonight and I am dreading it because I know I have to put on that happy face and pretend all is ok; when really I want nothing more than to curl up in a little ball and cry. I want to give up. Please, if anyone out there has gone through this sheer depseration and just depression, please help me. I go to a clinic for eating disorders and yesterday the doctor threatened me with termination for non-compliance. I am dropping some weight, not a lot, just a little and that really hurt. I feel like if they can't help me, then I am , well screwed. I just need some support right now. This is unlike me to ask for help and support, but right now I feel strong enough to do so. I guess that's progress. I am asking for what I need. I have identified what I need and I am asking. Yay, good for me, lol. If anyone out there can relate please respond. Any comments would be so appreciated. Thank you all for listening, 
Julie