Topic : Anorexia

I just wanted to say thank you for replying. It does mean a lot to me to know that there are people out there who understand and care. It is really hard for me to reach out and I am trying hard to not let those comments bring me down. It was one of those things were I just felt like saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Thanks again; I really do appreciate it.  

Julie 

your welcome!!  I will be glad to be here for you to talk to.  It is hard to dismiss comments like that.  a lot of times all it does is make it harder.  but hey they don't know because they don't understand.  it is very hard to reach out it took me forever someone telling me try to go somewhere on the compputer where you can talk to people.   

hugs 

Hisjewel 

Hello again. I just wanted to say thank you again. Thanks for saying that you will be there for me to talk with. I understand what it's like to try and reach out to people and have it be SO hard to do. This is the first couple of times I have posted on a message board and I have been sick for a long time........so yeah, I think we all have problems reaching out sometimes. Today has been a little bit better of a day. I managed to keep down breakfast, not lunch, but breakfast is a usually a big problem for me. And I actually ate my lunch when I didn't have to! I am trying hard to have a positve mind set, but it's really hard to keep telling myself that I am not bad and worthless. Even though, when I sit down and logically think about it there is no reason for me to think either of those things about myself; it's just automatic and I cannot seem to stop it. Geesh, I tell ya, our minds are crazy sometimes! Thanks again, 

Julie 

Anorexia is such an odd disease. I do wonder what it would be like if I could see what everyone else sees in me. I have such a hard time seeing any positives, even when people tell me positive things (of course, I don't believe them and block it all out!). I wish I could have seen what I really looked like at my lowest weight; instead I just saw fat.........but looking back at pictures I can see it, I just wish I could have seen it in the moment.  

So it sounds like you are not doing so hot either. I tell ya, this disease is compelling. We are slaves to it.........but there is no way to stop it (at least that I have found yet). Isn't it crazy how we KNOW that food is not bad, yet our minds will yell and scream at us that we are weak for just doing what our bodies need us to do. I hate the anorexia so much, yet I love it so much too. It's like I love it so much I don't want it to leave.......and I am freaking out when I DON"T feel like pulling my hair out (did that make sense?). I am sorry things are so difficult right now for you. How long have you been sick? Are you in any type of treatment now?  

Today hasn't been a very good day over here either. Purged breakfast. I am promising myself that I can only purge once a day, and so far, so good. I never use to purge, but this "treatment" I am in, has pretty much forced me over the edge. Anyways, I am really trying to have a positive mindset. I am trying so hard to tell myself that I am not bad and worthless and that losing 10 more pounds won't do anything for me except make me want to lose more. It is just SO HARD! ANd I really get tired of fighting. Do you ever feel just plain tired of fighting this disease?  

I hope today is going better for you.  

Julie 

Anorexia is such an odd disease. I do wonder what it would be like if I could see what everyone else sees in me. I have such a hard time seeing any positives, even when people tell me positive things (of course, I don't believe them and block it all out!). I wish I could have seen what I really looked like at my lowest weight; instead I just saw fat.........but looking back at pictures I can see it, I just wish I could have seen it in the moment.  

So it sounds like you are not doing so hot either. I tell ya, this disease is compelling. We are slaves to it.........but there is no way to stop it (at least that I have found yet). Isn't it crazy how we KNOW that food is not bad, yet our minds will yell and scream at us that we are weak for just doing what our bodies need us to do. I hate the anorexia so much, yet I love it so much too. It's like I love it so much I don't want it to leave.......and I am freaking out when I DON"T feel like pulling my hair out (did that make sense?). I am sorry things are so difficult right now for you. How long have you been sick? Are you in any type of treatment now?  

Today hasn't been a very good day over here either. Purged breakfast. I am promising myself that I can only purge once a day, and so far, so good. I never use to purge, but this "treatment" I am in, has pretty much forced me over the edge. Anyways, I am really trying to have a positive mindset. I am trying so hard to tell myself that I am not bad and worthless and that losing 10 more pounds won't do anything for me except make me want to lose more. It is just SO HARD! ANd I really get tired of fighting. Do you ever feel just plain tired of fighting this disease?  

I hope today is going better for you.  

Julie 

I also know that feeling very well. It's weird. It's like you get ssssooo anxious and nothing you do can lessen your anxiety. I hate that feeling. I once had a medicine do that to me. Oh, it was awful not being able to control the anxiety. I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. Being in the midst of an eating disorder is not easy; it is so exhausting.......just plain draining. I remember all to well. I hope today was better for you..........and I hope the anxiety has lessened at least a little bit! Oh it's just awful not being able to sit still!  

Julie 

PS. If you ever want to email me, my email is behindgreeneyes67@hotmail.com