Topic : Anorexia

I just read over what everyone has written, I wish you all the best. Your determination is inspiring. 

I had a tough day today and havent eaten too much, have gained some weight lately, when I stepped on the scales the other day its like all the blood in my body fell to the floor and i just went cold and thought I was going to faint, but when I went to the doctor recently she said all my sickness is due to not eating properly, I cant live feeling this sick but I definalty cant live fat! I always think I'm gettting better until I hit a wall when I reach a certain weight and it seems everything goes wrong all at once.  

I feel like if I see a counsellor now they'll think your  a fat fake but I cant deal with this on my own, what a whinger, I wish I could just get it together, I always give other people good advice but when it comes to myself its all so hard. 

You arent a whiner. This is something good to whine about because you need help. I currently see a counselor and have for 2 years. The hardest part in the beginning for me was to keep reminding myself that they are not judging me at all. They are listening. That is was they are there for so they can get to the bottom of whatever is going. I cant tell you how far I have come with counseling. You really get close to them and it is really nice to talk to them. It is really hard to tell you deepest thuoghts,  but that gets easier as time goes on.  

It was also very hard for me to be on medication at one point because I wanted to do it on my own. But I have learned that when it comes to this kind of stuff, especially eating disorders, you have to realize that you do need some help and that you cant do it all on your own. It can get worse and become a matter of life and death.You should really look into it! It is a big step, but I know you can do it! I will be praying that you do and that God leads you to someone that you feel you can talk to! He is there for you and so am I. 

Thankyou so much for your response, I'll consider the counsellor and go from there. Thankyou for reminding me that God is there. 

:) 

I am glad you are considering it. No one can force you but I can attest to the fact that it helps alot, if not for just talking but having someone to help you figure it out non judgementally. I probably would not be here today if I had not gone for counseling. Please just talk to them. I know it sounds wierd, but it is good! God is there no matter what you are going through. A song comes to mind that I hear on teh radio about praising God in the storm, still thanking him and saying amen. It is good to focus not just on how you can get better, but the good things that God is doing in you! 

hi.  

i don't know if i should be typing any of this or not, because typing these things right now freak me out. i've been through too much, and i can't handle myself anymore. i've been crying all day, about nothing, and about a lot of things. my parents made me quit a lot of things, just because "i wasn't good enough".. my parents are never home, and when they are, we get into constant fights about everything.  

4 years ago, during march break, i went somewhere with my friends.. for a school trip, away from home,,, then my friends got worried, 5 of them to be exact because they thought i developed an eating disorder because i wasn't eating anything but fruit... and only for dinner... then they sent me to the guidance counselor at my school, which then drove me away when i went to go talk to her because she said she would tell my parents if it was serious.  

in october i developed epilepsy. i don't know if its from my eating, or if its not from my eating. one of my friends is constantly on my case, and i'm getting insane now. i want to tell her to go away and leave me alone, but i know she won't listen,, or if i say that, we will get into a fight which i don't like fights especially with her since she's very argumental.  

i'm 5"8, 105 pounds.. is that underweight or what? i try and eat as little as possible during the day, because i feel fat. i've self harmed, i've overdosed on pain killers, and gotten to the point where i was puking...and a lot of days.. mostly every day, i want to be dead.   

i'm sick of feeling like this, and i look at people who are prettier, and skinnier than me, and then i look at myself in the mirror, and all i see is a fat blob needing to die. i can't take this stress anymore, and i want out!  

help!  

thanks..  

I don't know you but I know I had a very similar story a few years ago, I am presuming your a teenager, if you are please trust me things do get much better out of school, even though it may look hopeless now, please hold on, there are things around the corner, one day you may want to get married, have children, a career, your own house, its not worth selling yourself short because it hurts now, eating disorder or not is not the concern, its how you think and feel about yourself, learn to love yourself, you dont have to look like anyone prettier or skinnier than you to feel good about yourself- find out about yourself.....eg: get dr phil's book self matters or do personality tests to know who you are uniquelly, I know these things helped me. 

not eating will cause you depression and suicidal thoughts so please eat, even if its for the future you can have, I dont know if this is the right advice but I know I wish someone told me these things a few years ago. 

I agree totally with criddle. You need to eat. I tell you this even as I think about whether lunch will be apart of my day. I too am a teenager. It is so hard. Hang on we can both can do it! You have a whole life ahead of you. I struggle, we all do, but we can get through it. I have wanted out too, but think about how great your life can be! I am heading to college next year meaning I need to get better so I dont end up in the hospital or worse dead. This is a serious disorder. If you are a believer, look in the Bible and see what God says about you. You are his child and he thinks the world of you. Like criddle said, there are quizzes that might help you think better.You are not crazy. Dont think that you are! Find someone to talk to you. Its a big step but anyone dealing with this needs help. If I had not of gotten help, I probably wouldnt be here. I probably would have crashed my car. I have self harmed too . I know what its like. I have also overdosed on those pills too. Trust me, you can get better. 

Email me if you ever want to talk! Really! 

childofgod1j31@yahoo.com