Topic : Anorexia

i totally missed the message from the person you just responded to before.......  i'm glad you posted them........  i would have responded had i seen it........ wonder how i missed it.......  gosh and no one just says i want an eating disorder ya know.........  it's an innocent thing you start that ends up not being nearly as innocent as we thought.  then there is no way you would ever admit to having one to yourself or anyone else............  i can believe the person struggled with the thought of stuff like that but then well yeah....... haaaaaa ........... if it were so easy to just say i want an ED then it would be so easy to say ok i don't want ED anymore i think i'll stop that now........   i hope this doesn't sound rude to the person that wrote that..... i surely don't mean it rude at all!!!  maybe they did and do think about it but we just don't tell those kinds of things to the people around us and then when we start doing it we don't realize it....... heck i was saying i would never do that when i heard stories about people with eating disorders not realizing i was doing what i said i would do and already had an eating disorder.......... 

oh yeah........ also maybe if that person in some way is having a hard time and didn't know how to say it or react well get over it isn't the thing to say..........  sometimes it is as you said and they just want attention and sometimes it's not......  sometimes people just don't know.......  although i can see where it seems like an attention seeker we can never fully know.........  one reason is we have never been in that persons shoes........  we don't know what happened in their life.......  maybe it was something the person wanted but then again didn't want....... maybe their mom doesn't give them a lot of attention or something and thought if they  told their mom she would get affirmation... maybe they need affirmation so they wanted healthy attention but used an unhealthy thing to get what was needed.......... you never really know.......  and there could be one to many people in their life telling them what you said, "get over it"  there could be a lot of people.........  none of those things may not be so but we should always really think about those things and that we never know what has happened in someones life.......  you never know what is truely going on.......  so maybe next time you should tell them they are looking for attention and to get over it........  just a thought.........  sorry if it bothers you just thought i would see if you could understand what i was saying

Hi everyone,

It's been awhile since I last posted. I am 38 years old and find myself going back to the anorexia. I am pretty sure my ED is stress related. I just have so much going on in my life right now so many changes. I hate this feeling! Anyway, I would love to talk to someone more my age. If anyone can relate please email me.

Thanks,

Emma

Hi there

 

I am 32,interested in a chat?

 

Will be back here tomorrow...............not much time now (and I only have access to a computer when I`m at work, lol, maybe a good thing!

hi emma, i am 44 years old and i still struggle with anorexia. i know that awful feeling i get when it is active again. i recently lost 50 pounds and was hospitalized. i am home now and trying to eat 3 times a day. im  not sure my husband can understand all this. do you have a husband and can you talk to him???write back.    antonette

I totally agreed with that. people just "starve" and automatically say to themselves, "Hey, I have an ED!" it doesn't automatically come like that.

I especially dislike when girls say "I wish I had the willpower to be anorexic." I get so angry because it's like, you have NO IDEA what you are talking about! eating disorders have nothing to do with food or willpower. ah.

 

anyway, my comment I made earlier got totally ignored. I mean I don't know, it kind of felt like I wasn't being heard and no one gave support, unlike everyone else. it was kind of long.

 

but I wish the best of luck to Emma and maxi and anorexics who are trying to recover.

<3

 

Was looking for your earlier comment & could not find it, lol, that was probbably just me!

I totally agree,why want an ED when you don`t have one? Maybe it`s just because of misconceptions, ect. People should realise how disruptive an ED can be though.......mentally, physically & emotionally..

 

Ok, I`ve never been on any program or anything for ED`s. The reason for this is that when it started I was only 12 and already institutionalised. Once I became a drug addict my ED was very easy to hide.....I always looked "half dead & as thin as a skelleton". Can anyone tell me more about where our ED`s actually stem from, ect.  I have always dealt with my drug addiction as my 1st problem, but now that I`m clean I realise that my ED has always been there, and that I`ve just been too "out of it " to read the signs.

 

Someone told me Yesterday that my selfdestructive tendacies, eg. self-mutulation stems from my bulimic side, and not from my anorexic side.....does this make sense to anyone?

 

Thanx for the good wishes, it means more than u think!

I decided that wanting to live HAS to be an active decision that I HAVE to make every morning as I wake up. I am VERY good at feeling sorry for myself & blaming (or making excuses for) my present behaviour and mindset on things that have happened in my past & the turns my life has took. So what I`ve been trying to do for the last few weeks is: STAY IN THE PRESENT & BE VERY AWARE. It might sound a bit patronising (Well, that is what I used to think!lol), but if you try and do it with the right attitude (mindset) it sorta works some of the time. Funny hey! Look, I still get lots of emotions ect, that I`ve got to deal with, but as I always say: "So far so good". I am trying not to dwell too much on the past. It is just my nightmare that I can not control at all, and that really sucks! And I am trying not too worry about the future.......easier said than done, lol! Yet, I find that if I try hard enough there is at least hope, for in the process I become more aware of the few good things still left in this world. (Take for instance this site. Might sound stupid, but u guys are here, and yes, I look forward to comming online. It is someting small, but it makes me smile, and everytime I smile I feel happier, and at the same time I can then try to pass on that smile to someone else!)

 

Ok, now I feel WAY too vulnerable!

hi emma, i have an eating disorder for 25 years now. i recently lost 50 pounds and landed in the hospital. i am struggling to recover and i would like to be a penpal to you. write back and lets talk and support each other.       antonette

Hi  it's been a while since I"ve  posted,       I've been out of town and un able to reach the web site.         I am doing a little better but it's been a struggle ,  I am eating two meals a day now and I find it hard not to throw up after the second meal.  that was happening when I first started eating the second meal . in secret I was diong that  I don't want my son in law to know  because he makes me feel  angry an manipulated almost as if I have no control  over myself,  almost as if I have no right to say that I am not hungry.      I've been on a long trip with my daughter and her spouce , and he makes me feel like  if I don't eat at least  twice a day that they will take my grandchildren from me.  I try very hard not to throw up the second meal  but It's very hard to keep it down.  I am doing my very best and I am taking it one day at a time.   I have been thinking about the last time I posted and the answer I got was about the bodie matabolizing the food  and I am trying to rember this but I can't help thinking that I am getting fat.  so I throw up the second meal . I think that I've ben doing good cause there have been those few times that I haven't thrown up  but then I feel sick for the rest of the day. I keep telling myself that it will get better and to go one day at a time.   and maybe I can convince myself of that.   God Bless to every one    CANCER