Topic : Anorexia

Brenda,

    You may be right about them caring. It's just, I dont know. I have a hard time with people caring. No one has ever really cared about me other than my dad when I was small. I dont know but thank you.

-Amber Brooke

 

You may not understand why people care - but they do.  Just be thankful you have so many people willing to do whatever it takes just for YOU.  Some day you will understand, until

them just trust us that you are so worth it.  Just hang in there and be strong. 

 If you ever need anything I' m right here

 

Brenda

Hi again,

Thank you, Brenda, for your answer... I don't know why, but lately I just can't sit myself down and read a book.  Any book.  Maybe I should try harder.  I think my mom has the Dr. Phil book.  Maybe I will borrow it from her. 

Anyway, this coming Thursday is my next trip to the dietitian.  I feel like I've gained 20 lbs since I've last seen her (2 weeks ago).  To recap, two weeks ago, I was three pounds away from being sent into treatment for the millionth time (though it's been awhile).  I really do feel like I've gained a lot.  I've been doing some thinking... my dietitian sometimes tells me that if I really feel uncomfortable with being weighed, that I can say no and not be weighed that time.  I'm so embarrassed by all the weight that I could possibly have gained these past two weeks that I just don't want her to know.  I'm considering taking her up on that.  I think I won't let her weigh me this Thursday.  I told my therapist this, and she said that she hopes my dietitian puts up a fight with me because she doesn't think I've gained more than a couple of pounds, but even that would be devastating to me.  I really don't want to be weighed.  I think I will refuse and just focus more on the nutrition aspect (god knows I use up her time talking about that).  I think that's what I will do.  Hmmm...



Bjork

Go ahead jump on those scales and say what I always say

1. Those scares are wrong

2.  Earrings do weigh heavey

3. Hair gel, spray or leave in conditioner counts too

4. Its amazing how heavy ANY clothing can weigh

 

I simply use humor to deflect thevile numbers the scales spew out.  If the numbers are really

bad I convert it into kilograms (divide the number in lbs  by 2.2 = Kg)

I know you are only fooling yourself - but it just makes it easier to work with.

And I made the mistake of haveing my husband with me once when I went to a dr appt

I had to be weighed so I slipped off my shoes, started to get on the scales and my husband

MOO'ed (just like a cow)  of course I burst into tears, the nurse (a very good friend of mine)

hit him with the chart - and I banned him from EVER going with me again.  He can drive me

(I'm legally blind) but thats it.  Thats why God made recpetion areas...for toddlers and husbands

 

Bjork as I said before (I know you don't want to hear this) your body HAS to have a certain

amount of body fat to function.  If you would just trust me on this from today until January 1

you will see I am right.   Right now you are not losing fat you are losing muscle

Your body is currently in starvation mode so anything you eat is going to be converted to fat

Fat helps your body maintain a consistant body temp whether you are sick or just outside

in the cold air.  Your body has to have fat in order to process certain enzymes and nutrients.

If for the next 2 or 3 monbths just eat normally - just find a way to do it - after your body is

convincedit is no longer at risk of going back into starvation mode - you will automatically

start to lose wight.  Your body will be more comfortable getting the proteins and nutrients

it needs on a regular basis.  And then when you exercise (moderation is still key) you will

lose fat and not muscle. 

You all remember Maxi - Maxi if you are out there POST ASAP.  She emails me on a regular

basis.  She finally agreed to give this a chance and it worked.  She is now in training for

a major kickboxing bout,  She said she has never looked this good or felt this good before.

I will send her a email and ask her to post so you can hear it straight from her.

And she is for once in her life HAPPY.

Bjork please just think about what I said OK.  GIve your body a chance to heal and it will

take good care of you in return. Remember be honest with yourself and anyone that is trying

to help you.  You are worth the truth.

 

Brenda

 Hi.   I am just checking in and reading posts.

my daughter and I had a long talk a few days ago.  We have always been so very close so I know this was difficult for her to say to me.  She told me that since, (a few years ago), I went to court and got temporary guardianship of her and put her in treatment for 30 days, (which we all know is not nearly long enough), that she no longer trusts me.  She goes to a counselor, but not one that is a specialitst with eating disorders.  The work she is doing also involves a group therapy session.  For her to tell me that the trust is gone between herself and her family was very difficult for her to say.

 

However, I knew that she felt that way.  She has let me know in other situations that I took control away from her over her own life and that she would never ever go back to inpatient treatment.

So glad you checked in..I was getting concerned.  Look at the bright side of this she sat

down and talked to you.  A while back she wasn't even doing that.  So I think progress is

being made.  You have to find the good stuff inside the bad stuff other wise its going to

totally consume you.  And I think the wall of trust/no trust is starting to come down  It

may be brick by brick, but thats OK.  It wasn't built over night so give everything time

to settle down and smooth out. 

With Thanksgiving coming up, you might want to write her a letter telling her how thankful

you are for HER.  Don't go into the bad stuff, just tell her you are thankful she is YOUR daughter

and a member of your family.  Tell her how big her heart is and how you want to have a loving

close relationship with her.  You might do the same thing with your grand-daughter and even

your husband and sons.  Let them know how special they are to you and how your world would

not be the same without them in it.  A letter is something tangible they can hold on to tuck into

their wallets and go back and read when times get rough.  You may not always be right there

with them, but at those time they can pull out that letter and suddenly there are your words....

words only a mom/wife/ or grandmother can say and feel.

This might be something you add to your Thanksgiving traditions.  Because Thanksgiving is

more than turkey and ham, parades and foot ball game and Uncle Ed sprawled out on the sofe

snoring because he ate too much.  

Tell the people you love how much they mean to you, you never know when tragedy is going to

strike and someone may die or be permanently injured.  I think that is probably what your entire

family needs to hear right now.  That each of them are special and you cherish them forever

Let me know how things progress OK

Brenda

bmitchell@centurytel.net

I know everyone getting tired of having family and friends nag at them about eating disorders, binge/purge issues.  And with holidays quickly approaching we all know how Thanksgiving

Day goes........ you aren't eating enough,  just  try a spoonful, I don't know how you alive the way

you eat,  on and on and on.  We've all heard it year after year (some more than others)

So this year when Aunt Sally pulls you aside and starts in with her well intentioned advice

smile (ever so politely) and tell her 'Thank you so much for caring about me.  I promise I

will give everything you said some consideration.  Give them a hug and walk away.

 

You don't have to buy into arguments and lectures.  You have enough to deal with right now

The pressure of being there with everybody is enough to make your head explode. But

that is no reason to be rude.  And no one wants to be cornered in a room with someone

sticking their finger in your face telling you how to live your life.  But in order to get respect

you have to give respect.  That means no sceaming, yelling, no throwing things or stomping

out of the room and slamming doors.  You are all very intelligent people.  Violence is silly

It doesn't prove anything except you are out of control...which is exactly what some people love to see. 

 

And for those having problems with parents, children and loved ones, just let them know you

still love them.  You may not like the way they treat you or the way they treat others, but you

need to let them know you will always love them.  Their problems are their problems, not yours.

But if something should happen and you lose that person, you don't want to go through life

playing the "What If" game...what if I had told them I loved them, what if they knew I really loved them no matter how frustrated I am with them.  Its time to put aside the anger and bitterness

and let the people you love and care for know how you feel.  Even if you have to write it in a letter

DO IT.  They can keep that letter tucked away and pull it out when they need to feel you near.

You don't know the impact you may have had on someones life until its too late.

So take 5 minutes write a quick note to your loved ones - it may be what it takes to open their

eyes to the real you.  Give the chance to see the person you are now inside, not just the eating disorder, anger, frustration and sadness

 

Brenda

i just watched the show on anorexia and saw myself there. i am a 51 yr. old male who , for about 6 or 7 years fought a losing battle with this disease. after counseling and working with a nutritionlist, finally was able to get on the path to healing. i never thought that there would be a chance of ever breaking the horrendous grip this disease has. i never thought it was possible to ever recover and to eat like a normal person. but there is and i finally did it. i can now eat normally, without fear. all the ritualsitic behavior of the anorexic has gone....there is hope and it is a disease you can fight and win.

Congratulation on conquering your eating disorder.  You have a lot to be proud of.

 

Brenda

Hello

This is my first post, I just registered today actually. I am a little torn on how I feel about the  show yesterday. It has taken my boyfriend months to get me to accept that I have a problem, its taken me even longer. I will not post numbers as I dont believe its relevant and will not help anyone struggling wtih this disorder, lets just say I am under weight. I dont see it but you can only be told so many times by so many people until you have to believe it. Anyway, I made a real effort to watch the show and maybe gain some insight into the reality of this disease, because I am in my own little world where reality doesnt exist. All I got out of the show was that I wasnt sick, I dont look like them so I must be fine.