Topic : Anorexia

Hi Everyone,  

It's been a while since I last posted. My computer went out so I am using the one at the library. I have really been struggling with anorexia lately. I am 38 years old and still battleing with this disease. I could really use a penpal. I would perfer somone in their 30's who can relate. I am thankful for these boards. It's nice to know I am not alone in my struggle.  

((((HUGS))))  

Well, I've been trying to get it together for myself harder latly,  I've posted on other sites before for other issues but I've never really talked about my issue with food.  I'm 26 and I have not been happy with my size since I was 13 (at that time my dad was sick and my parents seperated) I gess I've always had this peroccupation with being the smallest person in my curcle of people I know I have always gone from eating normally then to starving myself for a chuck of time then I get scard after I loose some desired weight loss then I eat again, starve, eat and so on I have not ever gone to low but I float at 100 to 115 lbs I am 5 foot.  I gess because I have not lost to much weight I disregard it as not an eating disorder.  I just was starving myself for 2 months and 2 weeks ago I tryed to eat again but now would be when I start feeling crappy about myself again and feel uncomfortable in myself.  I weigh 110 and look 2 times a day.   I have obsessions with food,  and I still try to avoid eating through the day I know my habits are not normal cause my co-workers don't act like this I'm just not comfy with myself and I debate myself each day to weather to eat or not.  I am trying to be healthy, and strong, but somtimes I want to give in.  I have a social worker but I don't know how to branch into this topic cause I feel like this is not an issue.  but I think about it alot, with all the other crappy thoughts.  I am not sure if this is somthing that is worth talking about with the SW because I am not physically at that point but I can't shake this obsession with being like 95 lbs.   anyways thats just my thought that I haven't ever shared so any advice on how I should approch this issue?? 

Thanks  

Forgeting 

Hi, 

I can understand how you must feel concerning your weight and being underweight, but you do eat and get nutition. I don't think your weight issues are like threatening although I understand the things about weight. 

I have just joined this group but want to share something with everyone and ask if there is anyone out there with this problem, although I am 5'8' and weigh 86 pounds, I am afraid of loosing weight, I don' refuse food, I have tried everything I can think of to gain weight. There is nothing physicall wrong with me as far as all the tests I have had. I look in the mirror and see skin and bones, I know I am thin and have come across something on the internet which explains it exactly, it is under panic and stress. Under time of stress in my life, I would have difficulty swallowing and although I want to eat, I can not. I have actually come to the conclusion that I have a phobia of choking and have interacted wtih others who have this same problems, but my point is, the results of this problem are the same as anorexia in that the weight becomes so low that is threatens life. I am now attempting to see a doctor I hope will help as nothing else has and I contiune to loose weight.  

It would be a shame to have a feeding tube put in g/tube simply because I have a phobia. Does this sound familiar to anyone. I have been assured by several doctors that I do  not have anorexia but I struggle every day and become dehydrated and am loosing weight every day. This is the lowest I have ever been. I am afraid and hope there is something or someone out there who understands.  

Elaine 

Has you doctor ever tested you for your thyroid gland? I had a friend who was 5.7 and she weighed less than 90lbs, its not because she didn't eat, she ate lots, but just couldn't gain weight. They figured out it was her thyroid gland and they put her on medication, I haven't seen her in a long time but last time I saw her the medication was helping. You should look into it. 

Oops posted this on one that replied to you, new to this site, oh well. 

Has your doctor ever tested you for your thyroid gland? I had a friend who was 5.7 and she weighed less than 90lbs, its not because she didn't eat, she ate lots, but just couldn't gain weight. They figured out it was her thyroid gland and they put her on medication, I haven't seen her in a long time but last time I saw her the medication was helping. You should look into it.  

This has been a battle for me since I was 12 years old.  I was a gymnast and a cheerleader when I was younger.  I was the short one that weighed the least every year who always seemed to be picked for the top of the pyramids and stances.  That was until I hit 12 or 13 years old.  I had gained about 10 pounds that summer and when I came back my coach took me off the squad until I lost the weight I had gained.  She pulled me up in front of all the other cheerleaders and pulled my tank up so they could see a (roll).  She made fun of me for 20 minutes showing the girls the difference between pictures of me the year before and that year.  I was so humiliated.  I left school that day and made a decision.  I would never eat again unless I had to!   

4 years later I was down to 72 lbs and very ill.  I had to stop going to school because I was so weak.  I was checked into a clinic by my father but insurance didn't cover the amount of time it would take to get me help.  That fall I turned 18 and I moved out on my own.  I tried to keep up with the regimen they had me on, but I couldn't afford to go see the counselor anymore and I fell back into my old ways.  My highest weight on the program was 125 - 130 lbs... 

Now, I'm 27 years old 5 ft 2 inches and I currently weigh 92 lbs.  I'm supposedly healthier than I ever been before but I still feel huge and I am constantly having to force myself to eat every day.  It's getting tougher each day and anna is taking control again.  How do I get help if I can't afford it.  I make too much to get assistance and I don't make enough to pay for both the meds and treatment...  I feel lost and I just want to die.  I would really rather die than be this way anymore.  I just want to stop everything... 

My fiance` knows that I was anna for years before we met but I was at a healthy weight when we met.  He knows I've lost weight but I don't think he sees it as too much.  I'm afraid of losing him if I don't get a grip on this thing.  I just can't stop.  I can't stop myself from harming my self this way.   

Brady1177