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Topic : Anorexia

Number of Replies: 1384
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:31:18 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you or is someone you love systematically starving themselves? Anorexia is a serious condition that needs immediate treatment. Share your story here.

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September 16, 2005, 3:46 pm CDT

Please get help, you're worth it

Quote From: brady1177

This has been a battle for me since I was 12 years old.  I was a gymnast and a cheerleader when I was younger.  I was the short one that weighed the least every year who always seemed to be picked for the top of the pyramids and stances.  That was until I hit 12 or 13 years old.  I had gained about 10 pounds that summer and when I came back my coach took me off the squad until I lost the weight I had gained.  She pulled me up in front of all the other cheerleaders and pulled my tank up so they could see a (roll).  She made fun of me for 20 minutes showing the girls the difference between pictures of me the year before and that year.  I was so humiliated.  I left school that day and made a decision.  I would never eat again unless I had to!   

4 years later I was down to 72 lbs and very ill.  I had to stop going to school because I was so weak.  I was checked into a clinic by my father but insurance didn't cover the amount of time it would take to get me help.  That fall I turned 18 and I moved out on my own.  I tried to keep up with the regimen they had me on, but I couldn't afford to go see the counselor anymore and I fell back into my old ways.  My highest weight on the program was 125 - 130 lbs... 

Now, I'm 27 years old 5 ft 2 inches and I currently weigh 92 lbs.  I'm supposedly healthier than I ever been before but I still feel huge and I am constantly having to force myself to eat every day.  It's getting tougher each day and anna is taking control again.  How do I get help if I can't afford it.  I make too much to get assistance and I don't make enough to pay for both the meds and treatment...  I feel lost and I just want to die.  I would really rather die than be this way anymore.  I just want to stop everything... 

My fiance knows that I was anna for years before we met but I was at a healthy weight when we met.  He knows I've lost weight but I don't think he sees it as too much.  I'm afraid of losing him if I don't get a grip on this thing.  I just can't stop.  I can't stop myself from harming my self this way.   

  

Brady1177 

  

It is imperative you get help, check out the NADA website, www.NationalEatingDisorders.org , for more information and referrals to treatment centers in your area.  You are worth it!  I know it is expensive, but it is very difficult to recover without help.  It is a shame that the adults in children's lives, such at teachers and coaches do such things to humiliate children about their weight.  I'm sure many don't mean to be hurtful, but it doesn't take much to humiliate a child.  They don't realize the damage they do with just a few words. 

Please get help. 

 
September 17, 2005, 7:24 pm CDT

comlication following hysterectomy

Quote From: emarumom

I am 48 and my doctors think I have a eating disorder.  I just don't want to eat.  i lost over 60 pounds because of problems following a hysterectomy but don't think i look any different even though clothes don't fit.  It's easier to not eat than deal with a possible intestional obstruction.  i have an ileostomy and that coupled with the heat of the deep south make dehydration a problem.

  

  

Hi,  

  

I was just wondering, do you eat and get fluids in? Do you refuse food? I am no doctor but it sounds like a panic/ phobia problem, the reason I say this is, the fear of the intestinal obstruction COULD be what is preventing you from eating. Did you feel this way before or anytime in your life before the hysterectomy? I have  you ever had an eating disorder or problem before that?  

  

It really doesn't seem like you have one as it seems more like your body is still adjusting to the trauma of surgery and that couple with fear on intestinal obstrution may be causing you not to eat.  

  

Juat  a thought.  

  

  

  

Elaine 

 
September 18, 2005, 1:47 pm CDT

lanugo

Quote From: nodachance

Yes, I think you are anorexic.  My daughter was diagnosed in January, she got down to 82 pounds and is 5 feet tall.  I would suggest you get help.  There are very specific lab tests that need to be done.  If you are not eating enough, you will damage all your internal organs, inlcuding your heart.  Your total body chemistry will be screwed up. Do you have lanugo (hair growing on your body), are you cold all the time?  Are you dizzy and tired all the time. These are physical symptoms of anorexia. I would definitly recommend you get help right away.  It is very difficult to overcome this on your own without professional help. Please don't delay!
 Ok if i have hair growing on my body, where would it be? I'm trying to be sure..My parents dont know, and i am trying to figure out how to tell them....but i need to be sure first.
Help.
Lyndsay
 
September 29, 2005, 6:01 am CDT

Confused.

My name is Amanda, and I'm 16 years old. I've been wondering about my eatting habits and people think I have an eatting disorder. I'm overly obessessed with calories and weight gain. I guess I'm obessessed due to my family calling me fat and kids teasing me in school. I'm 5'6 and I went from 163 to 156. I have an intese fear of gaining weight and I'm making goals to eat less and less each day. I doubt this is normal or healthy.  

Is this normal or what? 

- A. 

 
September 29, 2005, 9:21 am CDT

my story

My whole life my dad and his mother always told me that I was fat and chubby and that I needed to loose weight and being a dancer and a gymnast I was also told that you can only be good if you weighed less. so when I was in fourth grade I decided that I would just stop eating. Well being nine years old and deeply loving food I decided to start throwing up. I never saw a movie on it, I never read about bulimia, it just seemed like common sense that you can take out whatever you put in. So for the next three years I was able to loose weight (a little) but still eat. When I was in 7th grade I saw "Perfect Body" starring Amy Jo Johnson and I saw how see hid her anorexia and bulimia and then in "Teen People" I read about Pro Anorexia websites and so I hopped on my computer searched and found out how to be a good anorexic. In 2 months I dropped 20lbs I went from a very high 175 to a still high (in my mind. I was 5'9 at the time) 155lbs. Then I continued to loose weight going down to 110lbs when my friends alerted the school principal and the health teacher (do realize I went to the private school my whole life up to that point and everything was very close there) that I was throwing up and starving myself. The school called my mom and I denied the whole thing and they believed me. That was in March, in May they called me down again to the office and said that people were still very worried and was anything going on. I once again said no. In June, I went down to 100lbs, I couldn't get out of bed in the morning with out falling to the floor and I passed out a lot through out my day so I didn't want to go anywhere and in the dead of summer I was freezing. That summer I was appraoched by a store to model for them, I of course jumped at the chance before my parents could even say any thing. I modeled for a few more stores until 2 more of my friends called my mom at home and told her that I was really sick and I spilled my guts. She made me quit modeling but told me she wouldn't put me in therapy. Well then she made sure I ate 3 square meals but I of course knew tricks to try and get around it but I still gained weight and went up to 135lbs about. Well the first couple weeks of school of 8th grade (8th grade was the same year I went back to ballet) the teachers on lunch duty watched me like a hawk so I gained for weight about 145lbs. Then I just started to starve myself again. In gym class I almost passed out and my gym teacher (who was also my health teacher) called my mom and said that they were going to make me see the school therapist! Well I of course HATED the idea of having to talk to this person I didn't know and I didn't WANT to know this person. So I bullshitted my therapy sessions. In that December I found out my dad was having an affair and that sent me into a tail spin. I droped weight so quick. After Christmas vacation my therapist called my mom in and told her I needed to go see a doctor. I huffed and puffed but I went and he said I was underweight and I was sick but they were going to monitor my weight. And every week I still managed to loose weight and all he said was eat more and I said up yours and then I just stopped going. Then my therapist tried a radical new treatment called the Maudsley Method. Which, basically, was I had to eat three square meals a day of a certain calories and at school I had to eat lunch with either my therapist (when she was there) or my gym/health teacher and at home I had to eat whatever my mom made me. Which this didn't work because when they leave I shove the food in a napkin and put it down my shirt or in my backpack. And at home well I was good at hiding food needless to say but I still gained weight (at that time I didn't know my weights because my mom took my scale and I was weighed backwards so I had no clue). I graduated 8th grade and left a school that had been like my second home and went on to high school. Freshman year, I was at a new school and I knew NO ONE! So it was a definate culture shock. I just stopped eating. No reason to really eat, I had no friends and I didn't care about anything except being thin and popular. I lost some weight and I was accepted to the "popular" crowd. And I was so happy. But I still wasn't eating but the popular people I ate with started to buy me food so I'd eat it and run to the bathroom and throw it up. But then I just stopped taking their food all I wanted to do was be thin and I couldn't do that if I eating and purging. Then I started talking to my english teacher (whose sister was anorexic) and I thought he was nice and understanding but boy was I wrong. Even though he let me stay in his classroom for lunch, he was apparently saying stuff behind my back. But around December of my freshman year I started haning out with a "different" crowd. The crowd did drugs, smokes, drank and now I did too. In January I was malnourished from not eating, purging and doing drugs that I decided I needed more help, I told my school therapist that I wanted to be hospitalized and she called my mom in and my mom blew off the idea of me being hospitalized and sent me to a quack of a therapist who want to counsel my mom more then me and decided I need to take meds. So she sent me to the family doctor who put me on anti-depressants. Well on February 27, 2004 I figured that if I mixed pain killers with my anti-depressants, I could die. So I took vicodin to school, my friend and I went into the bathroom where I snorted the pills and waited. I just got high and dizzy but that day after school she told my english teacher who told the principal who called my mom. So I got suspened for 10 days along with the girl who was in the bathroon with me. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere except for dance, but I was so sick and malnourished that the only way I could get through class was to take speed. I had some major injuries and I was very sick so I was told by my wonderful dancer teacher (and I'm being serious...I love her to death, she is a wonderful person) that I should take a leave because she knew I was sick and if I didn't take a leave she was going to make sure I did so I bowed out and took a leave for the rest of the season that was in March. Also in March i sent a suicide letter to my teacher and he alerted the school nurse and she called my mom and I had to have a crisis intervention. I was then taken off my meds and stopped seeing the quack. But I was still not eating and purging even if I wasn't eating just because I think I'm a fat pig. So then I started to see my school therapist as well as three more therapist, another one in school, 1 out of school, and a MD. Well I was put on another med, I stopped taking that because I became depressed on it. I left my freshman year completely sick. And then three days after school was out we had to rush my dad to the hospital because after a "flu" that lasted over two weeks, his fever wasn't going down and he was having trouble breathing. The next day we found out he had cancer!!! It was everyones worse fear. His sister died of cancer when she was 40 and he had 5 other people on his side that died of cancer. He went through 10 weeks of chemo. During that time, I didn't have the brain power to think ED so I kind of ate when i thought I should and didn't any other time. I still managed a low weight. I started about at school and in the second week and befriended my new english teacher. Her daughter was anorexic and she really cared. She'd talk to me when she could and help when she could and she was very lovely to me and she let me spend lunch in her room. She never stayed with me but she would lock her door and let me sit in there. Well in November she started having health problems and had to take a leave. That left me with no one at school although I still had my wonderful dance teacher but I only saw her once a week. So I started taking laxatives and not eating and purging and started smoking again. A really shitty combo, I got sicker then I ever had before. I started passing out at dance and my dance teacher told me I couldn't dance until I started eating. So I wasn't eating or dancing. But I still went to class and observed and listen to my dance teacher and wanting so baddly to stop but I couldn't. But I did listen when she told me to try to see if I could get admitted again. Well this time I told my therapist out of school because I thought my parents would listen to her more and they did. Demeber 7th I went to the hospital place for like a meeting and they called me two days later and told me they weren't going to admit me because I wasn't thin or sick enough.  I left school and dance for christmas break weighing about 125lbs. Came back weighing 120-115lbs. But my english teacher came back after christmas and the week after she came back I started talking to her again and let me come in and spend lunch. Then she told me that I had to stop taking laxatives and I listened to her and I did and they she told me she wasn't going to let me stay in her room unless I started eating and so I started eating. A cracker but I started. Then I started to purge EVERYTHING! No matter what. But I was gaining weight because of eating and purging my body was still get some food. But still my dance teacher started to let me dance just in time for the show this past year. I uped what I was eating in school and then my english teacher told me she would not let me stay in there if I was going to continue to leave and purge. So I stopped purging lunch but purged everything else. I left school and little heavier and she promised me she'd stay in contact. Then the following week was my dance preformance and I starved all week. My dance teacher knew it and wasn't too happy. After the recital she fed me (not even joking) and then the following week at class she did the same thing. She has been the best to me when it comes to my ED. But then dance ended and I was left with no one. No safety net what so ever but then the week after dance was over my parents and myself went to Arizona for almost a month where I was throwing up REALLY expensive meals BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE THIN!!! Why? I don't really know. I should have been enjoying everything about Arizona but half of the time I was purging. My dance teacher has now also made a rule that I can't dance unless on my dance night (monday night) I eat in front of her and I eat what she says. Then once a week I call her and I'm supposed to eat while on the phone with her except that hasn;t been  going real well...last night I managed 1/2 a cracker. This is a horrible disease and as I sit here now writing this I haven't eaten in a while (except for the 1/2 a cracker) and I've been taking a mucho amount of diet pills and I'm very dizzy and shakey. If you are thinking about anorexia or bulimia DON'T! Its NOT a way to loose weight and you will get sucked in as I have. I hope someone will read this and realize that they don't want to do this! I feel so out of control I don't know what to do. I haven't seen my therapists in forever, I don't have the time.... 

If anyone wants to talk to me you can message me or my aim is ballet1babe! 

  

Dana 

 
September 29, 2005, 2:28 pm CDT

.......not in my 30's anymore........

Quote From: justemily

Hi Everyone,  

It's been a while since I last posted. My computer went out so I am using the one at the library. I have really been struggling with anorexia lately. I am 38 years old and still battleing with this disease. I could really use a penpal. I would perfer somone in their 30's who can relate. I am thankful for these boards. It's nice to know I am not alone in my struggle.  

((((HUGS))))  

Hi, 

I read your mesage and although it's sad to see, it's also, comforting to see that there is someone out there, nearer my age, who suffers from this. 

I am 42 and I suffer from both anna and mia I also am still battling this disease and have been doing so since I was 19.........so I guess I can totally relate to your situation. 

I live in the UK at the moment, but I am originally from NZ. 

I would love to have a penpal as I have only recently started treatment for this illness and I find writing, which I used to hate doing, has become a close friend to me, to help me express what I can't bring myself to say out loud or to say to another person...even those who are trying to help me. 

Hope to hear from you soon 

  

take care 

  

maureen 

  

 
September 29, 2005, 6:30 pm CDT

Need some advice, please.

Hi: 

 My name is Jessie and I have struggled with an eating disorder for about 6 years. I am now 17 and want to recovery so badly. There have been times that I have tried but I have failed due to lack of support and the inability to get professional help. Because I am under age I have to have my parent's approval to go to a doctor, which is a bummer because my parents don't support me in recovery because they think I am stupid in the first place for allowing this disorder to talk over me. They mostly tell me it's my fault that I have messed up so bad and that it is ridiculous. 

 I am at the point now though that I want to be FREE from anorexia and bulimia. I know it takes time but I don't want to be trapped forever. I am so scared that I will never heal. I don't know where to turn to get help and that's why I need some advice. I don't know what to do. I need help. 

Thanks for listening. I hope you all are doing well. 

Jessie 

 
October 3, 2005, 11:06 am CDT

Hi Friend :)

Quote From: friwikiwi

Hi, 

I read your mesage and although it's sad to see, it's also, comforting to see that there is someone out there, nearer my age, who suffers from this. 

I am 42 and I suffer from both anna and mia I also am still battling this disease and have been doing so since I was 19.........so I guess I can totally relate to your situation. 

I live in the UK at the moment, but I am originally from NZ. 

I would love to have a penpal as I have only recently started treatment for this illness and I find writing, which I used to hate doing, has become a close friend to me, to help me express what I can't bring myself to say out loud or to say to another person...even those who are trying to help me. 

Hope to hear from you soon 

  

take care 

  

maureen 

  

Hi Maureen, 

It was so good to see your post. I'm glad someone can relate with me. I think, there are more women our age still battling with eating disorders.  

I am glad to hear you are starting treatment. It can be a battle but I know you can do it, if you really want it. I don't know what I want at the moment. I don't know if I can give it up right now. It is a battle I fight everyday. It does get quite tiring though I must say. I wish I could eat normally and not even worry about it.  

I try to journal but sometimes it's hard. I tend to start and stop a lot. I want to get into the habit of journaling everyday. 

I hope to get connected to the Internet again soon. Until then it's the library. Sorry, I can't post everyday. 

Hugs, 

Emily 

 
October 4, 2005, 6:57 pm CDT

Anorexic for 12 years

 Hi!

I am new to these boards and I have Anorexia Nervosa.  I am 28 years old and have had it since I was 16 years old.  I woould say that it is much worse now than it was then.  It gets worse, the older I get... I've tried the treatment center thing for the past 5 years, with my last treatment stay lasting over a year, and still I am not recovered.   I think about calories and weight loss all of the time.  I have apparently a horribly distorded view of my body,or so I am told. Nothing has helped.  I wish Doctor Phil would help me!  I'm at my wit's end!!!! Some days I really want to recover and some days I totally don't.  It depends.  I see a nutritionist and a therapist and they tell me to eat more and whatnot,but I have trouble trusting them.  What should I do?

Bjork

 
October 6, 2005, 6:21 pm CDT

Hi Emily...

Quote From: justemily

Hi Maureen, 

It was so good to see your post. I'm glad someone can relate with me. I think, there are more women our age still battling with eating disorders.  

I am glad to hear you are starting treatment. It can be a battle but I know you can do it, if you really want it. I don't know what I want at the moment. I don't know if I can give it up right now. It is a battle I fight everyday. It does get quite tiring though I must say. I wish I could eat normally and not even worry about it.  

I try to journal but sometimes it's hard. I tend to start and stop a lot. I want to get into the habit of journaling everyday. 

I hope to get connected to the Internet again soon. Until then it's the library. Sorry, I can't post everyday. 

Hugs, 

Emily 

Hey I am so glad you replied. No probs about posting all the time..it's nice to know that we can talk. Know what you mean about 'journaling' ...sometimes I write every day and a couple of times it's a whole week before I do, so I do a re-cap of what has happened.........( that's if the memory hasn't gone on strike...lol). 

Anyway, if you want you can e-mail me if it is easier, addy is: 

mog-frog@ntlworld.com 

Last couple of weeks have been very hard here....and it sounds like I maybe going for in-house treatment...won't know when until Monday 10th, which is when I have my assessment. 

Don't quite know how I feel about it...scared and rather terrified is probably a good starting point though............!?! 

Write me when you can..I look forward to hearing from you 

  

take care of yourself 

  

hugs 

maureen 

 
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