Topic : Anorexia

 Saturday, Nov. 17, 2007, MontrEal, QuEbec, Canada
I know a lot about anorexia and about bulimia, also.  I watched yesterday's Dr Phil Show very attentively, and what I take away from it is that the verb *to force* and anorexia don't mix.  I feel that it is a lot more empowering to find in your own self how to emerge a winner from this, how to remain the boss of what you eat or don't eat.  My approach to most problems is first, never wait to pray, then see what you, yourself, can do, and even if it's baby steps, each step means a lot, as long as it's your decision.  Write to me if you wish, to share about what you are going through.  Sometimes, anorexia (a misnomer if I've ever seen one) is just another word for *big heart*, that's how I lived it, at least.  Basically, all that's needed is a lot of love, validation, and no forcing anything.  alexjglass at netscape dot ca or alexjglass at hotmail dot com.  Hug and smile xoxo : ) and if you ask God to help you, gently, each day, to find a happy, truly happy medium between eating never or eating always, take things one day at a time and throw away your weighing scale, He will help you and you won't feel alone anymore.

My name is Nadia and i have just turned 15 some months ago. I always
felt self conscious about my weight so i decided to act upon it in a
different way. I have never admitted that i had an E.D. but going from
a size 15/13 in juniors to a size 5/3, im still telling myself i need
more its not enough. but will it ever be enough? I want to enjoy my
life young but how can i when food IS my life. it controls every part
of me. Everytime i pick up a piece of food there is this voice telling
me im not worth it and i dont deserve anything to enter my body. When
ever something did enter my body, i would take it right out. I was not
only anorexic, but a bulimic. My best friend talked to me and convinced
me to go get professional help. I cry because im afriad that getting
help will make me gain the weight back. I want just a little more, but
ive realized how many months ive been saying that. i need help 

 Hey! i know where you are coming from. I have gone to the doctors before, but never let them diagnose me with anything because i believed there was really nothing wrong with me. But everyone knew and deep down so did i, that there was. I read your story and have to say i feel the exact same way. I have finally gained the courage to listen to my Best friend and my mom to get some help. I am going this weekend, but im scared it wont work and make me gain all the weight back. We are both so young, we shouldnt have to remember our teenage years as a struggle! Im sooo scared, but im ready to get some help. Im proud of you that you are going to get help. ive heard recovery stories and i believe itll work out for both of us! im praying!

Mary Kate,

You are not alone. I am turning 57 and know I need help. Plan on getting help, but what has me worried is wondering if the help I get will be the correct help. Will I have my correct match for the problem at hand. I've been to therapy years ago and never really worked for me. But must give it a try again cause this really isn't what I want to be doing. and for years been trying to solve why I feel the way I do. Detached, lonely, sad, no life, no passion, no purpose. I don't always have confidence in doctors. It is a very long story, but being despair I will have to give it a try again. I have done reading, 12 steps, overeaters annom. and etc. You could say I'm just hanging on and hoping for the very best. I'm at least trying this is positive.
You are not alone and wish you well onto recovery.

 Hello,
True love can really conquer all.  The best way for you to be, in order to coast through this, is to listen a lot more than you talk, tell your son that you want him to be happy, refrain from putting over-the-top expectations on him or on his life, and talk with him about everything EXCEPT anorexic behaviour.  This means to cheer, encourage, love, support and validate everything that he does and which is health-building, and to say nothing about non-health-building behaviour.  It requires detachment, and it's very hard for a parent to be detached, but that's why sometimes perfect strangers achieve better results, because they are able to view the situation from outside, rather than get sad, as you expressed being, and put your attention on the disease all the time, instead of on the subject.  Let him do anything that he wants and just cheer him for being alive.  In a few years, if he smokes, as long as he eats, he'll be alive, and if he drinks or experiments with drinking (normal teenagers do), as long as he eats, he'll be alive.  Right now, your concern is to try to make him as happy as possible, even if he doesn't eat, and when he feels happier, the normal desire to eat will return.  You may write to me, if you wish, I put my e-mail address on this site, but here it is anyway alexjglass at netscape dot ca, or alexjglass at hotmail dot com.  Give him a lot of love and validation, even if his baby setp progresses don't seem good enough.  He probably has a very high ideal and lots of love in his heart.  Tell him that a small success is already a lot and don't demand of him to achieve your goals, if possible.  Hug and smile, Alex.  xoxo : )

My daughter has been struggling with Anorexia for about 5 years.  She has been in an eating disorder clinic when her weight loss was extreme.  She is still struggling and its difficult to see any relief in sight.  The biggest issue  I see iin battling this disease or any other mental health disease is the insurance industry.  Anorexia is a mental illness complicated by the physical side effects that starvation has on your body.  It took my daughter reaching a point where she physically was at risk before the insurance company would allow her to be admitted to the ED Treatement Center.  She was there almost 4 months and should have stayed longer but the insurance company declared her cured when she reached 90% of her goal weight and maintained it a short while.  My daughter came home and proceeded to relapse because she really needed to continue to work on managing the thoughts and  voices in her head that told her she was fat, worthless and undisciplined because she ate.  So here we are still fighting the disease.  She goes up and down and is trying to manage her life the best she can.  The insurance industry and its lack of support for mental health treatment is horrible.  I don't see the insurance industry stopping treatment for heart patients after surgery.  Mental Health issues can require intensive treatment and the limited amount of provider  visits may not be enough for someone who is intensely invested in their eating disorder or depression..  Perhaps if Mental Health issues were better covered by insurance policies and we took the stigma away we would see quicker improvment in our loved ones who were sick and it would cost the insurance industry less because there would be fewer physical side effects in the long run 

 I am 22years old.  I've ALWAYS stuggled with eating since I was a teen. Yesterday I weighted myself and I weighted 113lbs. I should be at 125lbs but I'm not.  And Im confused  because I've been eating a lot more (I  had a surgey). Now I'm  not even sure if I have an ED or not. Please help.

There is no such thing as a "300 lb. anorectic"
Here's the DSM-lV criteria: verbatim!

"we must look at the specific guidelines for diagnosing anorexia nervosa found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual vol. IV (DSM-IV). In 1995, DSM-IV set out four new criteria for doctors and psychiatrists to use in classifying a patient as anorexic. (4) First, the patient refuses to maintain a minimally normal body weight, or her body weight has dropped below 85% of weight considered normal for a patient's age and height(THIS TRANSLATES TO A 17.5 BMI OR BELOW. DO THE MATH.). This low body weight must be found in combination with a ritualistic monitoring and limiting of food intake (Diagnosing Eating Disorders, 1995). Second, the patient must exhibit intense fear of gaining weight, with concern about weight often increasing as weight decreases. The third criterion is that there is significant body image distortion in reference to body size or shape. For instance, despite the fact that the anorectic might be twenty pounds under weight, she still believes her body is overweight and literally sees her body as fat. Fourth, DSM-IV explains that anorectics are amenorrhea-ic (i.e., absence of menstrual cycle). If a patient does not fit all of the above criteria, she cannot be clinically diagnosed as an anorectic. (5)

Currently, the only way for a patient to be diagnosed with anorexia is if the patient meets all four of the criteria set out in the DSM-IV.
Although the DSM-IV is a book used to diagnose psychological disorders, it is used by other medical professionals, including general practitioners. In fact, medical students are taught the DSM-IV guidelines in medical school. "