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Topic : Anorexia

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:31:18 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you or is someone you love systematically starving themselves? Anorexia is a serious condition that needs immediate treatment. Share your story here.

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austingirl
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October 7, 2005, 3:32 pm PDT

Anorexia

 I had an eating disorter for  3 years . My senor year  in the middle i wighed 96ponds . My Dr.s were worried . I was not able to keep my food down , I hid it from my grandamother . when i moved in here house in  march . I went through three jobs  durring  thoughs years . My eating disorter got in the way . Sometimes the smell of food made me sick . I worker at a  hibbatchie/sushi resturant , if i got nervus  i would go throug up . It was a little more than a dally acorance .
 when  i moved on to a new job ,it was getting worse including when i was trying to snack  . As time  went on , I passed out  in the bathroom .
4 months after that when i worked with a shoe place . After i would go eat  in the mall and within 15min i would have to throug up .I weghed 95pounds, 19 at the time . It got in the way of my job . It was now more than everyday accorance  two to three times a day . Passing out , forgetting where i was , it got scary .
Its been  7 months after i got fired from the job , it no longer happens im now 110pounds .
My dr.s told me it was stress related . I im now carful what i eat , when i eat . Im scard it will come back and this time go to the hospitel .
 
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ronnie07
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October 7, 2005, 4:45 pm PDT

Anorexia

Quote From: bjork12

 Hi!

I am new to these boards and I have Anorexia Nervosa.  I am 28 years old and have had it since I was 16 years old.  I woould say that it is much worse now than it was then.  It gets worse, the older I get... I've tried the treatment center thing for the past 5 years, with my last treatment stay lasting over a year, and still I am not recovered.   I think about calories and weight loss all of the time.  I have apparently a horribly distorded view of my body,or so I am told. Nothing has helped.  I wish Doctor Phil would help me!  I'm at my wit's end!!!! Some days I really want to recover and some days I totally don't.  It depends.  I see a nutritionist and a therapist and they tell me to eat more and whatnot,but I have trouble trusting them.  What should I do?

Bjork

It's crazy, I know exactly what your talking about. I have a hard time eating too.What sucks for me is that people are always telling me how thin and pretty i am and when i look in the mirror i just  don't see it. I know i'm not fat but I see myself as chubby and always find areas where i can improve on. I have gotten alot better though. I used to not have breakfast or lunch and then when i'd get back from school i'd have a bowl of cereal. Now, since it's cross country season I make myself eat, but i still worry about calorie intake and about gaining weight. It sucks, because i don't know what a porpotional meal would be. I do not consider myself anorexic though. When you say you are anorexic, what do you eat? Obviously you have to be eating some things or u wouldn't be alive,right. Please email me back
 
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barbie_
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October 8, 2005, 4:53 am PDT

Anorexia

 Hey all

Name is Jenny, I'm 21 and I have been suffering from anorexia for the past few years. I was in denial about it for quite some time, and I've recently come to terms that I have a problem. I have not admitted to anyone (my friends or family) that I have an eating disorder, even though I am constantly accused of having one. I'm embarassed to admit to my eating disorder, fearing that they will only think I want attention, which couldn't be further from the truth. I feel so alone having to deal with this 24/7, so it's nice to find a board where I have other people who know what I'm going through and can relate. Everyone else is so ignorant regarding eating disorders, and thinks we can eat if we want to...but it's not that easy!! It's so frustrating!
 
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austingirl
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October 9, 2005, 2:00 am PDT

Its Crazy

Quote From: ronnie07

It's crazy, I know exactly what your talking about. I have a hard time eating too.What sucks for me is that people are always telling me how thin and pretty i am and when i look in the mirror i just  don't see it. I know i'm not fat but I see myself as chubby and always find areas where i can improve on. I have gotten alot better though. I used to not have breakfast or lunch and then when i'd get back from school i'd have a bowl of cereal. Now, since it's cross country season I make myself eat, but i still worry about calorie intake and about gaining weight. It sucks, because i don't know what a porpotional meal would be. I do not consider myself anorexic though. When you say you are anorexic, what do you eat? Obviously you have to be eating some things or u wouldn't be alive,right. Please email me back
 Hey , I would love to email you . I did not however see it on your profile . here is mine Wendieann1064@yahoo.com . Let me know what your going through . Its been under a year sence i throug up . I'm happy , but scared . Its still an emotainal strugly with thinking i ganing a few pounds , like 4 . sometimes I dont want to eat  cuz  ,i want to stay thin (not healthy ) . Please message me .
 
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bjork12
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October 9, 2005, 5:49 pm PDT

I Am Anorexic

Quote From: ronnie07

It's crazy, I know exactly what your talking about. I have a hard time eating too.What sucks for me is that people are always telling me how thin and pretty i am and when i look in the mirror i just  don't see it. I know i'm not fat but I see myself as chubby and always find areas where i can improve on. I have gotten alot better though. I used to not have breakfast or lunch and then when i'd get back from school i'd have a bowl of cereal. Now, since it's cross country season I make myself eat, but i still worry about calorie intake and about gaining weight. It sucks, because i don't know what a porpotional meal would be. I do not consider myself anorexic though. When you say you are anorexic, what do you eat? Obviously you have to be eating some things or u wouldn't be alive,right. Please email me back
 When I say I am Anorexic, yes of course I have to eat *some* things, but they are not what typical people people eat, and I (we?) apply rules to the food such as "I can only eat this piece of food and not that one" or like cutting your food up into really tiny pieces.  It gets really elaborate and takes a long time for some of us.  And I'll check the nutrition labels on *everything* and make sure it is the product with the least amount of calories and such before buying it.  It has to be at least reduced fat or fat free or I don't want to deal with it at all.  I have to leave some of each of the things that I eat behind.  That can be up to half of the stuff that I put on the place.  So say someone put three things on my plate.  I would tear them up/cut them up really tiny, eat slect pieces that are considered "safe" for me, and then leave the rest on the plate.  It usually looks like I ate a lot of it, but I really didn't, just a few bites of each thing.  But I'm so slow and that's frustrating for everyone...  I don't eat at all in front of people I don't know.  Oh and I take diet pills.  That, coupled with the tons of meds that I am taking make me feel weird some days.  I know I shouldn't take them but I have this thing in my mind that tells me that "well, they worked before, they ,might work again!"  So it's a neverending battle.

Bjork
 
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bjork12
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October 9, 2005, 10:47 pm PDT

Diet Pills. Am I Crazy???

 I've got to stop treating my body like crap.  I am on all these prescription meds for my depression and my seizure disorder (brought on by my Anorexia), and yet I still take this "wonderful" coctail of diet pills.  I don't even remember what they're called anymore.  I took them out of their containers and hid them in a bag in my closet.  I take up to three differend kinds of pills (with Ephedra ) because I'm afraid they won't work if I take any less.  I'm so stupid and addicted to these things!  I spent all last night wonering if I was going to live or die!  I actually thought I was having a stroke.  My brain was all tingly, my vision was blurred, balance was off, and I felt just "off", just "out of my head.  Why do I mess with these things anymore??  I just know that I will get up in the morning and think, "Well, that won't happen again", and just take two or three more pills.  Seriously, am I a nut?  I just can't stop taking these things!  I think that if I do, what little weight I have lost in the past months will all come back and then some! Can't have that!

Bjork
 
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justemily
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October 10, 2005, 10:20 am PDT

Hi Maureen

Quote From: friwikiwi

Hey I am so glad you replied. No probs about posting all the time..it's nice to know that we can talk. Know what you mean about 'journaling' ...sometimes I write every day and a couple of times it's a whole week before I do, so I do a re-cap of what has happened.........( that's if the memory hasn't gone on strike...lol). 

Anyway, if you want you can e-mail me if it is easier, addy is: 

mog-frog@ntlworld.com 

Last couple of weeks have been very hard here....and it sounds like I maybe going for in-house treatment...won't know when until Monday 10th, which is when I have my assessment. 

Don't quite know how I feel about it...scared and rather terrified is probably a good starting point though............!?! 

Write me when you can..I look forward to hearing from you 

  

take care of yourself 

  

hugs 

maureen 

Hi :) 

Thanks for your reply. It's always nice to talk with someone who can relate.  

I am very proud of you going in for treatment. I know how scary that can be but at least you are taking care of yourself. You will have to let me know how the assessment went today. I will try to send you and email that will be easier Thanks! I think I may get a webtv soon then we can chat more often if you want. 

Well got to go. 

Take Care of YOU! 

Emily 
 
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babycj06

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October 10, 2005, 3:27 pm PDT

i am recoverning but i was anorexic

hey i have been trowing up sincei was 9 or 10  i rememeber brealfast  my mom use to make me eat and i threw it back up i dont know if i was doing it on purpose  or what then in 10th grade i stopped eatting i would throw my moms lunch out or give it to my friends  and then she stopped she didnt have time and i would only eat french onion soup thats all for half of the year almost and then my dad and mom stopped buying it and was like u have to eat something eles and was noticing and i was a excirse alolic too and i was failing classes and i messed up in high school wel 10th grade and then my mom made sure i ate and i just threw it up and then my sister said something to my mom and they confonted me and i wish they gotm y help then i was like 95 my dad always looked at me i hatre but i loved that. and durning christmas my sister and her ex husband came down and i had something and my dad and everyone was like wow shes eatting something besides  french onion soup and  i was dizzy all the time and light headed but i loved the feeling then i got better in 11th grade still didnt eat lunch once in a while my friends made coments and one knew  anfd i use to cut and still recovering hard. and now im in 12th and im eatting 3 meals or 2 sometimes and i love my self but sometimes i can feel myself slipping or wanna go back or i justcut. andm y bf hates it when i do it. and i just loved it but then i didnt but i dont know i was 95 and now i am 112 it so hard i feel liek im preg. thought i was but i  am not yay. but help e-mail me if u guys wanna talk my life has been messed up i wish i got help or wish they got me help they tryed and do it on there own. and i slip sometimes too.  i hate myself but then i love myself.   and i am a senior in school
 
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ralphy
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October 11, 2005, 6:29 am PDT

There is Help....

Quote From: barbie_

 Hey all

Name is Jenny, I'm 21 and I have been suffering from anorexia for the past few years. I was in denial about it for quite some time, and I've recently come to terms that I have a problem. I have not admitted to anyone (my friends or family) that I have an eating disorder, even though I am constantly accused of having one. I'm embarassed to admit to my eating disorder, fearing that they will only think I want attention, which couldn't be further from the truth. I feel so alone having to deal with this 24/7, so it's nice to find a board where I have other people who know what I'm going through and can relate. Everyone else is so ignorant regarding eating disorders, and thinks we can eat if we want to...but it's not that easy!! It's so frustrating!

Hey Jenny  

My name is Sarah and I recently turned 21 also...I have battled annorexia since I was around 15 and a half.  I can relate to other people perception that you should just eat.....For me eating menat feeling and I have had a few experiences in my past that emotionally I have wanted to bury.  I managed to bury them but at the same time neary dug my own grave.  It is hard to admit that there really is a problem with your eating.  An eating disorder is like a best friend but trust me it will start by standing beside you but gradually it no longer just holds your hand and instead starts dragging you along.  It has taken me years to recognise why I could simply not bear the idea of eating.  Being forced to eat only meant I had no choice but to get ride of the food by either hiding it, exercising or vomitting.  These rituals comforted my anxiety but fuelled my eating disorder to the point of near death.  I have been hospitalised numerous times and am finally making progress with the help of a really fabulous team.  Hang in there...once you start to let go of your eating disorder and recognise why it started...your future starts to become more positive and worth being healthy to live and enjoy!!! 
 
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ralphy
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October 11, 2005, 6:51 am PDT

Slamm on the brakes....

Quote From: iamanda

My name is Amanda, and I'm 16 years old. I've been wondering about my eatting habits and people think I have an eatting disorder. I'm overly obessessed with calories and weight gain. I guess I'm obessessed due to my family calling me fat and kids teasing me in school. I'm 5'6 and I went from 163 to 156. I have an intese fear of gaining weight and I'm making goals to eat less and less each day. I doubt this is normal or healthy.  

Is this normal or what? 

- A. 

Your intense fear of weight gain and your goals to eat less each day and early warning signs that an eating disorder is beginning to appear right next to you.  You may think it makes you feel good or makes you stronger, smarter, prettier or even more acceptable but that eating disorder will not stay standing next to you for long....The more weight you lose and the more fear you get of eating the strobger this shadow will become.  I trusted my annorexia since I was 15 and half until my 21st birthday...yes that means I did not celebrate my birthday because I was stuck away in hospital.  It take so much away from you that you are left drained, exhausted and feeling like their is no hope.  I have been down this road and the euphoria of losing weight soon wears off as your life becomes restricted by harsh routines and unbreakable demands.  Your social life fades, your friends disappear and you are seperated from the world and the life you could truly fufill.  Trust in someone close and seek out a good consellor.  It won't be easy and you will want to turn to your old habits to ease the discomfort but fight hard and each day will become a little less of a battle...and eventually you will laugh again...and see yourself as worthwhile!! 
 
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