Topic : Bulimia

Not everyone is gets the chance to make it 10 years there are people who have died within months.  I consider myself blessed to have made it so many years.   

You know the comment you made about the other girls well I remember looking at pictures of someone with their arms up and you could see their ribs everyone said they were to thin but I didnt and well I don't see it.  I know it seems like there is nothing you can control but isn't there just on thing that you just really like to do?  I believe you can do this, it doesn't have to control you!!!  I know this doesn't really make a big difference on whether or not you stop but it is controling you, you are not controling it!!   

I am!!  I haven't had a scale to get on for a really long time  and it is driving me nuts.  so I have no idea how much I weigh.  hmmmmmmmmmm  boy do I wish I knew.  Well not today because I am have a major fat day at the time!!!!  I should be in bed it is 12:42 am and I have to get up at well need to get up at 7 am oooooppppppppsssssssss!!  I cjould wait until later but I need to get some work done.  night I will really really try to come around more 

I should be in bed but I'm not, ( it is 00:45 here in the UK and I have to be up for work at 05:30 am ), as I have a question to ask ALL of you, and it's purely out of curiousity............? 

Have any of you tried the supplements: Chromium Picolinate 

                                                              and   L-caritine 

If so, please let me know what you thought of them and did you notice any positive effects ie. weight loss, whilst using them, or was there negitive effects ie. undesirable side effects that caused more health problems, or just no effect at all............................. 

I would be most grateful for as much feed-back as you can about these two substances. 

Night all 

maureen 

I have not heard of it before.   

oooo wow today was a emotional day with me fighting to not go back to food stuff.  I thought I am goiong to go crazy and ran down stairs to get a diet coke just needing something.  I feel like it seems silly but I just had to have it I just had to!!!!  I was just crying and talking to my room mate.  I just am so confused right now why this is become such an issue.  I mean it doesn't control my everythought or effect me like it used to adn dI didn't give into it but wow is it a fight or what!!!!!!  Tonight for supper I know I limited my food and I keep thinking well towmarrow is brunch day maybe I will "accedently" sleep right through it but then I don't want to do that because it would be not just because I missed it but because I wanted to miss it.  As much as I want to miss it I don't want to.  I just don't know all I know is this doesn't belong to me and I am not going to let it take me again!!!  We can all do it girls we can!!!! 

Hi Jewel, 

It sure ain't easy is it, this thing..........just hang in there, I know you can beat this ! 

Reason I asked about the two substamces is that I have been doing a lot of reading into things that may help us handle the ' physical ' side of this illness and I came across those two- not just through reading but also when I was doing the Atkins diet, these two substances featured a lot on the supplements side.Further reading has shown that they do, infact, have a beneficial influence by helping to burn fat safely, restore the metabolism and get it going again, stablise the blood-sugar in the body and help the body utilise its ' fuel ' more efficiently plus also aid as a natural appetite suppressant in so much as reducing those ' killer ' cravings we have. I have bought some already and will let you know how they go and if they are any good or are of any use to help us. 

In the meantime, here's something that may help you feel a little better......I've tried it and it did make me feel good plus it tastes nice: 

You need a blender........ 

half a cucumber, roughly chopped and skinned 

2 celery stalks, roughly chopped 

5 small strawberries 

juice of 2 medium oranges 

juice of 1 lemon 

ice ( optional) 

Throw all of these into the blender and blitz the hell out of them.................... 

then you can either drink it as it is or you can strain it, to get rid of the fiberous bits, then drink it. 

 It really tastes great plus it is healthy and is very good for your skin and blood for cleansing and you feel great after having it. 

Give it a go and tell me what you think. 

Hope you have a better day tomorrow honey. Will be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed.........keep up the good fight ! 

take care 

regards 

maureen 

Oh honey......sounds like you need a big hug.......couldn't find one so how about a squirrel instead to cheer you up...??? I know only too well what you are going through.......I know that doesn't make it any easier  for you but you are in my thoughts.........just do the best you can.....if you feel pressured to eat and you don't want to then don't ! One of the Psychs said, when things were going real bad for me, " at the end of the day, no one can make you do what you don't want to do...at the end of the day, you are in control and you have the final say as to what you want to do; but you must also own up to that and be responsible for the consequences of your choice. "  

A bit heavy, yes, but do you get the drift ?? 

Have a good long think and maybe the ' trigger ' will make itself known..................play the movie in your head...................and forgive yourself..........no-one said this was going to be easy and there are no instant cures. 

You are doing better that me at the moment...........I've just, tonite, lost control and had a binge and now my stomach feels ' stretched '.........even though, in reality,what I ate was not a lot, it sure feels like it and the guilt has now set in and I don't know what my trigger was.............................?????? 

Maybe the answer is to have a good cry.............nothing clears the system better than the water-works on full flood !! 

My other ' bright ' idea is try a little chocolate...not the dairy stuff, but you can get the stuff that has either fructose or artificial sweetners in it and at least 70% cocoa mass....chocolate has natural seratonin in it which is what makes you feel ' happy ' when you eat it....also chillis do the same thing...they release endorphins and they make you feel good as well....you only need a little bit and iy won't make you go OTT, so don't worry about that.........give it a go.....its worth a shot. 

If all else fails.....do what I do !! ( don't laugh ), play frisbee with the meat patties, squish the bun into balls of dough and roll them around the table and eat the salad........so not only have you had something nutrisious to eat, you have entertained everyone else at the table...............yeah ! I know, I'm a nutcase...lol !! ;-) 

write me soon and let me know how you got on 

Take care honey 

regards 

maureen 

p.s have you heard from Buffy lately ?? m 

that's my cat ' Missy ' in the photo.......cute little devil isn't she...??? 

I haven't heard from her in a while!!  Wow you sure have a great sense of humor!!  I like the hamburger and meat ball thing!!!  

I know I have started limiting food but I haven't thrown up.  I also started drinking a lot of diet drinks again.  I started that on Friday night I had to have something or do something and the only thing I could think of to really be like a comfort to me was a diet drink and most certainly not a caffine free one LOL!!! 

The other day I was having a hard time in the cafiteria so I decided to make 4 different tables with 8 chairs of the same color.  One table was blue chairs, another orange, another green and the other yellow.  hehehehe the sad thing is I enjoyed it.   

I have been eating a few tootsie rolls I really like them a lot!!!