I have been bulimic for 18 years. I go through cycles...sometimes not at all, and sometimes multiple times a day. I'll spend so much money on drive thru fast food, wolf it down, and purge. I've even stolen money from my stepdaughter when I've been out of cash just to get a "fix." I want to stop, but honestly, every time I try I give up. I'm afraid of telling anyone, including my therapist, because I don't want to have to go into a treatment center.
Hi Sunnymonkey,
I understand your pain. I think you need a new Therapist, one who you can be upfront with and emotionally honest with. Opening yourself up to another person can be really scary, however, if you really want to get better, to learn to love and respect your self, and feel that your are worth loving, you need to be able to be brutally honest with your therapist and he/she should not make you fell judged. Also, therapy hurts emotionally sometimes and it should; it it does not hurt, then your therapist or you as a client are not doing your/their job. You need to get at what is really eating you -- it may be that you are all about avoidance, especially when it comes to emotional stuff. Just one possible reason for the stuffing down of food, is the stuffing down of emotions.
--Anyways, when I was pregnant with my first child -- I had to think of someone else beside me, but afterwords it started again. What finally made me stop altogether was that I did not want to transmit my distorted ways of eating along to my daughters. It is a lot of work, every day. It is not just the nutritional stuff, but as I mentioned before it is the emotional stuff.
