Topic : Bulimia

How do you feel about observing your fat feelings? I ask because once I caught my reflection quite accidentally in a hotel ballroom where I attended a meeting. Because of the angle of the mirror, I did not realize that it was me for a few seconds.

What I saw at first was someone who did not look too badly. Once I realized it was me, the fat feeling suddenly crept in and became part of it all. All this to say is that we don't necessarily see ourselves objectively but rather project what we feel and all the negative stuff we've told ourselves about ourselves.

Hey we need a break in sending ourselves a positive message sometimes.

When you say it is such a struggle...are you speaking about the health problems you now have or the inner suffering... or all of it?

Whatever it going on, it sounds like you have worked at recovering. Please know that people care about you.

 I completely understand how you feel.  I have been anorexic/Bulimic for about 28 years and I am stuck at a weight that I hate.  I am very uncomfortable with my current weight I feel very very fat.  I too am at 145 lbs and two years ago was at 119.  I do not know how old that you are, but I think that for me since I am 43 years old, I am sure that it has something to do with my hormones and my age.  I can be reasonable about my weight at times and I know that some of my weight gain is due to the fact that two years ago I began running and lifting weights again.  The rest if due to my lack of discipline. What I can suggest for you is exercise.  If you do not exercise to begin an exercise program will greatly help.  Like I said I am a runner I run about 10 miles 5 days a week.  Not only will exercise help you loose those unwanted pounds, but it will increase the adrenalin and endorphins in your system and make you feel better about yourself.  If you diligently continue on an exercise program you may find that your urges to binge and purge come less and less. 

Please get help as soon as you can, yes this is a huge problem.  You may be only doing it after you eat a lot, but soon you will convince yourself that you have to do it after even the smallest snack.  I know because that is where I am at.  It has been 28 years and I am still binging and purging.  I know that you do not want a life of emotional pain like mine so the sooner you get help the better off you will be. 

A previous Post stated that “Unfortunately, this superficial, plastic world we live in I am sure has a lot to do with it.”

It may start off that you think that is the issue, but the majority of people with ED’s have underlying traumatic issues that they need to deal with.  For me I was sexually abused as a child and then when I was 15 right before I began  my ED I was raped by 5 guys all in the same evening.  Due to my severe intoxication that evening, it took me a few years before I could put two and two together and remember the events of that evening. I do know however that my subconscious was in trauma and the Eating Disorder is how I chose to deal with the inner struggles I faced in my life. 

For what ever reason you have began this Eating Disorder now is the time to get help.  The sooner you get help the easier it will be to overcome the ED.

We all tell one another to "get help". What helped you? It sounds like you worked hard at getting your life back. 

BRAVO!

Unfortunately after 28 years I still struggle daily with Bulimia.  Some days I do not binge at all but will still purge after a very normal small meal.  Some days I will binge 5 or 6 times and purge 40 or 50 times.  I know that sounds like a lot, but compared to 10 years ago I have jumped leaps and bounds.  I have been able to gain 20 pounds and I am no longer considered anorexic.  Most days I am OK with eating certain foods and keep it down.  I have been through at least 6 eating disorder programs all of which have helped me in small steps but none which have helped me completely.  I know why I still struggle with my eating disorder I have discovered that through counseling and hope to some day say that I am a recovered Bulimic.

My daughter is 15 and has lost some weight in the past couple of months and is now very thin - She goes to the bathroom for a very short time after dinner and sometimes durring dinner.  I don't know if it is enough time to throw up or not. Durring the day, after dinner especially  she drinks a lot of water.  I have just begun to notice this in the last couple of weeks.   She has always been very conscious of her looks and says at times she thinks she is fat. I also have noticed some food missing, all sweet foods.  I have 4 kids, so it is very hard to know who is overeating snacks.  My daughter is not honest with us, I try to talk to her but she always thinks I am picking on her.  She says there is nothing wrong, however I am concerned. Should I be

I get what you're saying. We all know that the small steps eventually add up to positive momentum. While success is never a straight line, you are also choosing to bless others with sharing some of what you have learned while you are recovering.  I respect your courage and will be grateful for your continued progress on the journey.

Take a breath and start gathering your strength, patience and start reading and doing some research. It sounds like you will be called into the position of learning how to support a daughter that you love who has an eating disorder. If you are covered with health insurance you may want to give them a call and look for someone who has experience with this area and/or your daughters age group. Look for a good OA group for her.

Then...know that you will have to simultaneously be working on yourself in being able to handle it.  It is not easy for her nor you but considering the alernative ...the sooner it is faced the better the chance of recovery so they say...but again, not faced head on but with calm strength and support.