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Topic : Obesity

Number of Replies: 1371
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:33:24 pm
Author : dataimport
Obesity is a medical disorder that can be treated, but sometimes society doesn't look upon the obese with compassion. Find support and understanding here as you or those you love cope with obesity.

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October 1, 2008, 1:53 pm CDT

People judging people

does being heavy make you a bad person.  I hate looking in the mirror but the worst is what do other people think of me .. Seeing my arms flap in the wind will I tease someones hair is the biggest bugger to me now I have for months tried to lift weights for that and now I have a shoulder injury because of it I will be going to physical therapy for it I hope they will help me I don't know if they will help my self  worth at 5 ft tall and 220 it's hard to have any and it's embaressing to ask for help I am an adult after all should I not be able to do this?  My Daughter just left for Collage and with all the sleepless nights worrying about how to pay for it my eating has gotten out of control.  I don't know what to do either everyday I give myself the taking to you will eat better today you will work you fat a__ out and you have to do better.  will it ever stop I don't know will I do anything but fail I don't know but I can only try and be nicer to myself and hope someday I will think I am worthy
 
October 1, 2008, 6:26 pm CDT

scared and embarassed

I'm 26 years old...about 6 years ago i was only 30 pounds over weight. I met my husband and we were both happy. Not long after meeting him I got pregnant with our son. Now mind you I had done everything i was supposed i took showers i brushed my teeth i walked ate healthy. 6 years later im 280 pounds (about 100 pounds overweight) and have 2 kids. I find myself neglecting EVERYTHING because i dont want it to interfer with when i want to eat (the whole when i m hungry im gonna eat now) i do shower everyday that is something i do....but i found that i dont brush my teeth as often in fear i might miss a meal because of it and now my smile is not so pretty :( I have the oddest shaped body and i hate everything about myself. I had asked my husband to stop buying sweets and junk food but he still brings it in...he tells me hes not the one who needs to lose weight. Yet he claims to be there for me. constantly telling me "oh you should eat so much, but here have a soda" WHY would he do that? I dont like to go out anywhere because i get started at. im 5' 10. And i want to lose weight but when you have someone pushing and pulling you its hard. do i make sense? i feel so disgusted with myself and i dont know how i can stay motivated enough to do what i need to do. i know the brushing my teeth thing is nasty and horrible but i believe myself to be lazy and fat and every other bad thing you could think of...can someone please tell me something to maybe get my crap together and take care of myself.
 
October 2, 2008, 4:17 am CDT

It's ok

Quote From: migizi81

I'm 26 years old...about 6 years ago i was only 30 pounds over weight. I met my husband and we were both happy. Not long after meeting him I got pregnant with our son. Now mind you I had done everything i was supposed i took showers i brushed my teeth i walked ate healthy. 6 years later im 280 pounds (about 100 pounds overweight) and have 2 kids. I find myself neglecting EVERYTHING because i dont want it to interfer with when i want to eat (the whole when i m hungry im gonna eat now) i do shower everyday that is something i do....but i found that i dont brush my teeth as often in fear i might miss a meal because of it and now my smile is not so pretty :( I have the oddest shaped body and i hate everything about myself. I had asked my husband to stop buying sweets and junk food but he still brings it in...he tells me hes not the one who needs to lose weight. Yet he claims to be there for me. constantly telling me "oh you should eat so much, but here have a soda" WHY would he do that? I dont like to go out anywhere because i get started at. im 5' 10. And i want to lose weight but when you have someone pushing and pulling you its hard. do i make sense? i feel so disgusted with myself and i dont know how i can stay motivated enough to do what i need to do. i know the brushing my teeth thing is nasty and horrible but i believe myself to be lazy and fat and every other bad thing you could think of...can someone please tell me something to maybe get my crap together and take care of myself.
I am going to listen to this message too.  I am the person who under you in you post.  loinmember
I think as mothers we always put ourselves last and it is very hard to think of yourself 1st.  does your husband feel treatened if you loose weight.  You know I once years ago asked mine if he would leave me if I got fat and he said yes so I think I am testing him and punishing myself at the same time let's try something together mabey today we could not eat a cookie.  and I just made Choc. chip cookies but today I am not going to eat them I am going to give them away to the teen groupe I work with.  I allready gave up soda but I drink alot of water so I can' t give that up but mabey you can.  babysteps. Can you think of something I can do that has worked for you.  I did 13 mins on my stationary bike today that had cobwebs on it hahaha email me back let talk mabey we can work this out togather! its fun to have a buddy  Think about it.  I am way older that you but mabey we can help each other a little at a time  Pam
 
October 2, 2008, 11:44 am CDT

I'm Tired

I hope everyone is having a blessed day, this is the first time posting to this board. I am a single mother of three and I am just tired I am 33 and I weigh 356 pounds and I have tried everything. In 2006 alone I gained almost 50 pounds that was a very rough year, I lost my grandmother in March, uncle in April, mother in May and got a divorce in June it has been down hill since then. I recently tried Weight Watchers in combination with a weight loss clinic where I took vitamins and shots. I can actually say it worked but the shots made my blood pressure high and the services became a financial strain on me. I just don't know what to do anymore I have arthritis, mild incontinence, lower back pain and high blood pressure. This is not to mention tiredness, fatigue, irritability and constant pain. I am on the go constantly my oldest is a cheerleader and my middle child plays football and the baby is just busy, by the end of the day I need to take an Ibuprofen 800 and a Lortab just to get the swelling and pain to go away in my ankles.I have tried to loose weight all my life and nothing ever works and no! I do not have the book I cannot afford it.  I am a single mom the book is not a priority now, I have to keep my house runing by my self and it cost to lose weight. Trust me this is just venting I have come to live with my condition, no matter how big I am I cannot stop or give up I have three children who depend on me so I must keep going for them. Anyway Im glad there is someplace to express my feelings and I wish all of you the best of luck.
 
October 2, 2008, 6:10 pm CDT

Obesity

Quote From: lionsmember

I am going to listen to this message too.  I am the person who under you in you post.  loinmember
I think as mothers we always put ourselves last and it is very hard to think of yourself 1st.  does your husband feel treatened if you loose weight.  You know I once years ago asked mine if he would leave me if I got fat and he said yes so I think I am testing him and punishing myself at the same time let's try something together mabey today we could not eat a cookie.  and I just made Choc. chip cookies but today I am not going to eat them I am going to give them away to the teen groupe I work with.  I allready gave up soda but I drink alot of water so I can' t give that up but mabey you can.  babysteps. Can you think of something I can do that has worked for you.  I did 13 mins on my stationary bike today that had cobwebs on it hahaha email me back let talk mabey we can work this out togather! its fun to have a buddy  Think about it.  I am way older that you but mabey we can help each other a little at a time  Pam
Yes he's said that if i reached a certain weight (300) he would get a divorce. now my son feels he needs to point out that im fat and him and his dad laugh as he says  it. its very sad and i dont want to be this way but somethimes i think my husband thinks i do. Thank you so much for offering some kind of support. I really need to get up off my butt and stop feeling so sorry for myself right? we can both get past this little bump in the road and i hope we can be there for each other the whole way :)
 
October 3, 2008, 5:23 am CDT

dear world its 5:30 am

I'm 21 years old and live in the land of the fakes aka orange county california. Born and raised obese Iv'e hit my breaking point. I'm engaged to a man who loves all of me, and doesnt judge me. I've hit 300 lbs and my fiance is 150 i cant do it anymore please someone help me. I dont know a diet I dont know how to work out im lost :(
 
October 3, 2008, 12:47 pm CDT

i need help

i have seven kids and i am 200pounds this is the biggist i'v ever been. I just dont know how to make time for my self. my hudsband cheated on me i feel it was becuse of my weight. hes not the reason i want to lose weight i want to do this for me first and my children. i dontwant to die early......
 
October 17, 2008, 11:10 am CDT

Can't Stop the Cycle

I grew up very heavy and was always made fun of and have never really gotten over it.  I have serious issues with my weight.  I went from 190lbs to 140lbs and thought I was still really fat.  I would go through periods of starvation, and I was wearing a size 6!!!  So now I have put on 30lbs and 2 dress sizes and have trouble handling it...the problem is...I am an emotional eater and therefore the more upset I get over my weight (and putting on weight), the more I eat, then the more weight I put on.  I just don't know how to stop the cycle!  It used to be so easy for me to just go weeks at a time without eating when I wanted to drop weight, but now, I eat.  I eat all the time...not just when I'm hugary and it's really any foods I can get my hands on.  The more depressed over my weight, the more food I eat, the more depressed I get.  Any suggestions anyone?  I would just love to be back to where I was!! 
 
October 28, 2008, 10:18 am CDT

I don't know what to do

I am a 30 year old weighing 390 pounds.  I have arthritis in my feet, ancles,a nd knees, I have edema in my legs, overactive bladder,a dn sleep apnea, all due to my weight.  I eat very impulsively and emotionally.  I feel very hopless.  I tried getting into a program in a hospital for eating disorders, and what they could offer me I was either not covered by my insurance for or I wansn't "ill" enough for. I feel really desperate to do something about my weight, and I know that if I can just change my thinking process I can make this change.  The problem is that when I think about my weight I get depressed, and then when I think about not eating as much I getr even more depressed.  Food has been my crutch since I was in 4th grade, 20 years ago.  I have always had a problem with my weight.  I can't stand looking at my full body in the mirror, and I often see myself in my mind as a totally different person.  I want to change my self worth, before I kill myself from eating too much. 
 
November 2, 2008, 3:09 am CST

Depression and Weigh Gain the vicious cycle

When I was 2 years old my parents divorced, I didn't understand of course how at the time just what type of effect this would have on the rest of my life. But it has been devistating. My mother remarried and I was adopted, I was lied to during my childhood being told that this new man was my "father". He beat me, he sexually abused me, while all the while I watched as his own children he had with my mother grew up loved and never treated the same as me. I was the household slave, I cooked, and cleaned and was not alllow to go be with friends, while my younger sister was allowed to be a child, she was told she was beautiful and talented, while I with talents of my own such as art, music, gymnastics was told I was ugly, stupid and would never amount to anything. My step father would often come to my bed at night and say things to me, the "things" I don't remember all I can see is his face leaning toward me in the evening darkness, my mother in the next room. Even my older brother tried to have sex with me, he touched me inapproprately and tried to penetrate me later on. All the while my mother professed to have a loving family. She ignored me, would not speak with me, didn't share with me yet I kept trying to reach out to her. I wanted to be loved so much, I wanted to be cuddled like the other kids, I wanted to be happy and feel protected and safe. Even after my mother divorced this man who was my step father, and after she told me of my real father she still treated me the same. I was still nothing more than a housekeeper. I saw myself as a worthless person. Somewhere insdie me I wisely knew what I wanted, I wanted to feel connected. I tried to build a relationship with my father which ended after 20 years with him running off with someone my own age for a wife. His choice I know but he didn't bother telling me he was going. I could not reach him for well over a month I panicked. It was happening all over again, just like when i was 2 years old. How could he do this? Did I matter so little to him? It was as if a part of me was dying and no one cared. I have had three failed marriages, looking for that connection still. I know it's wrong of me to do this, I just don't know how to stop the pain and stop wanting to be loved. I am a Buddhist and am not truly stupid as my family assumes. I keep their dirty secrets for them, and were I to divulge what I know they would only deny what happened. No one ever said they were sorry...is that really so hard to say? I am sorry for them, yet on the other side the emotional one, thinks that they don't care if anyone suffers as long as they can lie and pretend that they are good and kind. My mother has these peopl eshe knows at her church, they are a couple and she treats them like they are her children with love, resepct and caring. How can she be  this way when she treats her own child as if she is dirt on her shoe. She is two faced. She is fine and wonderful in front of others, but in private the story is very different. This year on my 48th birthday she sent me a card, and what she said was cruel. She said that my son who lives in amercia is fine, and she is "supporting him" in what he does, she said she was proud of him for going to college. I am one of the only children who has a college degree and she has never said she is proud of me. This type of manipulative taunting is sent to hurt, and is deliberate in nature. I just don't understand why she feels comelled to be like this. Does she hate me so much that she feels the only way to ontrol me is to hurt me. I am no longer a baby, I am nearly 50 so why can I simply not just leave all this behind me. I have cried so much that my heart  aches, I feel drained and afraid when I think of all of it. I have had therapy but it has not given me the tools I need to step away from this and truly feel beautiful. To comensate I eat. It is the only thing that I can have that no one can take from me. It is the only thing that is non emtional, non involved and has nothing in it that harms....but then I eat so much that i have gained weight over and over. I lose 40 lbs, then gain back 60. I have recently lost 14 pounds, but my boyfriend instead of telling me I did a good job said I was too fat to find sexually attractive. I am no beauty queen, and I know that I need to lose weight, due to back injuries, age, and hyesterectomy I have gained this weight. I belong to a dieters club however I am defeated at every turn. I am trying very hard, but no one seems to really care, all they care about is the current thing. I am still too fat to be loved, according to him. He lives with me and I know I should kick him out but there is one thing more. My son who is 20 is in Iraq, I miss him. The love we share is very special, but I feel like I am not being a good mom to him either now. He has had such a rough time growing up as a latch key child, in both the US and the UK where I now live. I know it's all complex but the human mind is this way. My Buddhist faith and teachings help, but I still fall down. I wish above all that I could find someone who loved me the way I am, who didn't want me thinner, fatter, shorter or taller, that wouldn't just up and leave and never say goodbye. I have much to give it just seems that in this life no one wants to know my heart, and that is beyond sad to me. I have no self esteem and you would think that with all I have done I would be proud, and happy. But life simply hasn' been that way, not for me.

 
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