Message Boards

Topic : Obesity

Number of Replies: 1371
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:33:24 pm
Author : dataimport
Obesity is a medical disorder that can be treated, but sometimes society doesn't look upon the obese with compassion. Find support and understanding here as you or those you love cope with obesity.

Join the new Dr. Phil Community! Currently in BETA, the new Dr. Phil Community will allow you to personalize your message board experience. Start by creating your user profile here.

For help and FAQs on the new BETA Community, please click here.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

November 3, 2008, 8:40 am CST

I really need to get help

I have kind of talked about what is going on now, but I think it would help if I would let you know what life has been like for me.  I kindergarden I was diagnosed with having pedi-mal  seijures, and was put on strong medication which made me tired all the time.  I soon started gaining weight because all I was doing was eating and sleeping.  Then, as I got into 1st grade, my grandmother started telling me that I would never have any friends, I would never have a boyfriend, and I would always be teased because I was fat.  That just ate at me and ate at me, I and finally by 4th grade I was eating as much as my parents would eat, or more.  Buy this time also, I was wearing the same size clothing as my mother.  By sixth grade I was bigger than my mother, weighing close to 170 pounds.  Those messages my grandmother gave me as a 1st grader were so engrained in my brain by this time, from the things she said and the diets she always came up with for me.  I was sad and depressed, and worst of all, it seemed like what my grandmother said to me was true.  When I would have a seijure I would wet my pants, and all the kids except for my best friend, really my only friend, would tease me and didn't accept me for who I was.  I would come home crying from school because I felt so lonely and misunderstood. Also, during this time I was sexually abused by my brother and my cousin.  I was truly depressed. I went to therapgy sessions when I was in 4ht grade and 6th grade because of this.  But the time I hit junior high I seemed to plateau a little bit.  My teachers could tell there was something wrong with me, but they never said or did anything about me. I made it through junior high and into senior high, heavily into my music classes.  I was in choir, show choir, band jazz band, and took piano lessons. Music was my only escape from my life and my emotions.  By my senior year in college my music wasn't doing everything for me any more, and I ended up having a nervous breakdown at school.  I was kept out of the hospital, but went to therapy weekly, as well as started seeing a psychiatrist.  Thsi wasn't the end of my struggles though.  I went to college after graduating high school, and by the time I was in my fourh year, I had another nervous breakdown, and I just wanted to die.  My eating was still out of control the whole way through high school and college, by the way. I ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks.  I then ended up quiting college, ansd my struggles really started.  I ended up moving to another stated far away because I felt very distant from my family.  I needed a break.  But, moving away, I ended up in the hispital 2/3 of the time I was gone.  I lived away from home for approximately 3 years.  by this time my eating was so out of control that I would go to one fast food resturaunt to the next.  I used food to satisfy everything that was going wrong in my life.  I hated myself,.  I ahve since come from that low place in my life, but I still eat to satisfy my feelings of myself, which are still aufully low.  I emotionally eat,a nd I don't know what to do.  I have tried diets, but they never work because I need my food to keep my sane it seems like.  What should I do?  I could really use some one ot talk to.  Thanks for listening.

 
November 6, 2008, 5:12 am CST

My 15 yr old son

I need help with my 15 year old son who is obese.His father walked out on us almost 6 years ago.and does not treat my son like a father should. I noticed thats when my son started gaining weight. It has just gotten worse,I even got a pad lock for my refrigerator.I am working full time to try to keep a roof over our heads and i simply cannot afford to feed this boy. so I lock everything up. I have checked into gastric bypass surgery for him and was told he must be 18. I pray every night he MAKES it to 18. His grades are terrible and he is currently repeating the 9th grade. I feel like a failure as a parent and this is somehow my fault. I limit his food intake and make him go walking with me but it doesn't seem to help.we also went to weight watchers together and that didn't help either.I am at the end of my rope. I do not know what to do. I seriously don't think my son will live a normal life if he continues to choose food over life. My son needs someone to somehow get thru his head that this is killing him. He doesn't see that. I get no help from anyone and have been dealing with this for years,I just don't know what else to do.I am a failure.He has already broken 2 couches just because of his weight. when i show him and explain to him whats happening with the furniture ,,he doesn't believe its HIM doing it. its like he is so detached to the fact that he is extremely overweight. Like Dr Phil says and i say this to him all the time, You cant change what you don't acknowledge..He just doesn't get it. He does nothing in the house to help me. anytime i ask him to help out its always a BIG DEAL..All he wants to do is stay on his computer day and night. Which i lock up too ..only because he will stay on all night long. He has skipped school and gotten into fights in school. he has NO friends at all. His only world is computer and food. And YES i do limit his food intake, but i swear to you he will eat whatever he can get his hands on.I am so tired and just drained as to how to help this kid,.,I feel so bad like its my fault that he is the way he is.and hes getting bigger all the time. My stares going to the basement were broken because of him. ..furniture..hes gone thru several beds.. I cant afford to keep paying for things like this,,and it can all simply stop if he would just stop eating and learn to LOVE himself and WANT to do better in life. My son has just given up. he just doesn't care about anything, He doesn't care about his life at all. Nor mine. I wish there was something to help me to help HIM..

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

 
November 18, 2008, 9:35 am CST

I am nervous, but I think I am on my way

I know that I was talking alot about the fact that I couldn't find any help out here for binge eating, but I think that I have finally made some headway with it.  The help is about 4 1/2 hours away, but it is something.  Aurora Hospital, in Milwaukee, has a new eating disorders program that actually takes my insurance.  I am excited, but nervous.  I have an appointment on December 1st, and I don't know exactly what kind of program they are going to be putting me in.  Needless to say, I think that I am working on getting some structure in my eating habits with this.  I hope this works.  I will keep everybody updated.  I am scared, though, too,  This means that I have to give up a coping mecanism that I have had basically all my life to save my life, ultimately.  wish me good luck!
 
November 18, 2008, 12:52 pm CST

Good Luck

Quote From: amandamay16

I know that I was talking alot about the fact that I couldn't find any help out here for binge eating, but I think that I have finally made some headway with it.  The help is about 4 1/2 hours away, but it is something.  Aurora Hospital, in Milwaukee, has a new eating disorders program that actually takes my insurance.  I am excited, but nervous.  I have an appointment on December 1st, and I don't know exactly what kind of program they are going to be putting me in.  Needless to say, I think that I am working on getting some structure in my eating habits with this.  I hope this works.  I will keep everybody updated.  I am scared, though, too,  This means that I have to give up a coping mecanism that I have had basically all my life to save my life, ultimately.  wish me good luck!

Taking control over binge eating starts in the mind!Tell your self that this WILL work,and give it your 100%.

         Having gained control over this monster I lived with for years,the freedom is worth the effort.I wish you all the luck in the world.

 
November 19, 2008, 12:46 pm CST

Obesity

Quote From: lvsbgsbny

I need help with my 15 year old son who is obese.His father walked out on us almost 6 years ago.and does not treat my son like a father should. I noticed thats when my son started gaining weight. It has just gotten worse,I even got a pad lock for my refrigerator.I am working full time to try to keep a roof over our heads and i simply cannot afford to feed this boy. so I lock everything up. I have checked into gastric bypass surgery for him and was told he must be 18. I pray every night he MAKES it to 18. His grades are terrible and he is currently repeating the 9th grade. I feel like a failure as a parent and this is somehow my fault. I limit his food intake and make him go walking with me but it doesn't seem to help.we also went to weight watchers together and that didn't help either.I am at the end of my rope. I do not know what to do. I seriously don't think my son will live a normal life if he continues to choose food over life. My son needs someone to somehow get thru his head that this is killing him. He doesn't see that. I get no help from anyone and have been dealing with this for years,I just don't know what else to do.I am a failure.He has already broken 2 couches just because of his weight. when i show him and explain to him whats happening with the furniture ,,he doesn't believe its HIM doing it. its like he is so detached to the fact that he is extremely overweight. Like Dr Phil says and i say this to him all the time, You cant change what you don't acknowledge..He just doesn't get it. He does nothing in the house to help me. anytime i ask him to help out its always a BIG DEAL..All he wants to do is stay on his computer day and night. Which i lock up too ..only because he will stay on all night long. He has skipped school and gotten into fights in school. he has NO friends at all. His only world is computer and food. And YES i do limit his food intake, but i swear to you he will eat whatever he can get his hands on.I am so tired and just drained as to how to help this kid,.,I feel so bad like its my fault that he is the way he is.and hes getting bigger all the time. My stares going to the basement were broken because of him. ..furniture..hes gone thru several beds.. I cant afford to keep paying for things like this,,and it can all simply stop if he would just stop eating and learn to LOVE himself and WANT to do better in life. My son has just given up. he just doesn't care about anything, He doesn't care about his life at all. Nor mine. I wish there was something to help me to help HIM..

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

I have checked into gastric bypass surgery for him and was told he must be 18.

 

I have met very FEW people who have been really happy with the long term results of gastric bypass surgery. Find another way.  My stepdaughter was lazy, unmotivated, and had no one in her life that took an interest in whether or not she lost weight. She had the surgery at 19, 6 years ago, and has been in the hospital 7 times since for MAJOR complications. 

So, who is bringing the food into the house? Who is preparing it?

 
December 9, 2008, 2:36 pm CST

My big fat life...

I have had severe weight problems my whole life. My mother, who was thin and very weight and health-conscious, encouraged me to eat healthy by snacking on fruits and veggies. Of course we had treats such as cookies, but only once in a while. I think  it was during the winter months, when there was lots of "holiday" foods and my activity level went way down, that was the problem. i was never all that active to begin with. I have a disorder that delayed my physical coordination and I was not your usual hyper little kid who runs and screams for the fun of it. I was a quiet kid who liked quiet activities such as reading or drawing pictures. My mother  put me on my first diet when I was around 8.  But I just kept on gaining no matter what.  I learned at a young age that giving in to eating "bad" foods was extremely shameful, and excercise and dieting were a punishment. By my twenties I was over  280 lbs. At that time I ate pretty normally and was active but at night I would go on an eating binge.  Then I made major changes to lose weight. It just happened. I started walking for several hours a day and drank glass after glass of water.  I reduced my nightly food intake. The weight seemed to come off so fast. Of course it wasn't easy.  By the time I was almost 30 I weighed around 160lbs. BUT...now I'm 34 and I weigh around 180.  I still try hard everyday to eat healthy, but I'm not not sure ANYthing is healthy anymore. I go out to eat about once a week with my mother.  I have a hard time resisting sweets. I could practically live on cookies and toast but the thought of living on heavy protein-rich foods is sickening. I hate the thought of not being able to eat carbs and the low carb fad diet craze makes me extremely irritated. I'll spend an hour a day on my exercycle and MAYBE lose a couple of pounds, but as soon as I eat anything over 100 calories I gain it back. I feel like I have to extremely limit myself because mt metabolism is insanely slow and I only burn about 300 calories a day. Am I doomed? Will I have to eat like a rabbit and be full of anxiety and misery just to get back down to 160? Do any of you people really even care?
 
December 18, 2008, 12:34 pm CST

would love to talk

Quote From: amandamay16

I am a 30 year old weighing 390 pounds.  I have arthritis in my feet, ancles,a nd knees, I have edema in my legs, overactive bladder,a dn sleep apnea, all due to my weight.  I eat very impulsively and emotionally.  I feel very hopless.  I tried getting into a program in a hospital for eating disorders, and what they could offer me I was either not covered by my insurance for or I wansn't "ill" enough for. I feel really desperate to do something about my weight, and I know that if I can just change my thinking process I can make this change.  The problem is that when I think about my weight I get depressed, and then when I think about not eating as much I getr even more depressed.  Food has been my crutch since I was in 4th grade, 20 years ago.  I have always had a problem with my weight.  I can't stand looking at my full body in the mirror, and I often see myself in my mind as a totally different person.  I want to change my self worth, before I kill myself from eating too much. 
I have some of the same problems e-mail me and we can talk. Nursetobe9@yahoo.com
 
January 8, 2009, 2:57 pm CST

Treatment

Please try Overeaters Anonymous.  It works for me! 

http://www.oa.org/
 
January 14, 2009, 3:36 pm CST

Obesity

I am 23 years old.  I have been overweight all of my life.  I played basketball through my junior year of highschool and I was always bigger than most of my teammates.  Looking at pictures now I think that I looked pretty good despite the 80's hair.  Anyway, now I am like 130 lbs overweight.  I keep asking myself how I let my body get so out of shape.  When I first started college I went to the gym like 2 times a day sometimes and by the middle of my freshmen year I was getting whistled at and checked out all the time.  Now it seems like no one wants to look at me.  I feel really ignored.  It is hard for me to look in the mirror.  I started gaining weight after my boyfriend and I started dating.  I guess what really motivated me to work out in college was to get a boyfriend and after I had one I just let myself go.  Now I really want to lose weight so that I can be healthy and to have more energy.  I work with 3-6 year olds during the school year and at Summer Camp in the Summer so I really need more energy than I have now.     Also I just want to feel hot again.
 
February 14, 2009, 8:44 pm CST

Terribly Overweight!

Well I'm almost 22 years old & I've been big all my life. I've always been teased in school because of my weight and it's always gotten to me. About 4 years ago I joined weight watchers and lost 80 pounds...I got done to 240 pounds....the lowest I was since I was a child. But, then I gained it ALL back & then some. At this point in my life I'm the biggest I've ever been. I'm about 200 pounds overweight (yea I might as well say how much I weight since I'm looking for someone to help me or give me advice...I'm 430 pounds right now and I'm 5 foot 8...yea it's pretty damn embarrassing to me). I'm starting to worry about myself and I really don't know what to do anymore with myself *cries* I've tried everything & I DO NOT wanna do any kinda surgery....I wanna lose this weight on my own...I NEED to do this! I work in retail as a cashier and I love the job so much but I've been so many days of work because of server back pain...I don't want to lose my job. My family, friends, and boyfriend are also very concerned about me. Everyday I have to hear a speak of how I need lose this weight and do something about myself. But, they don't understand how hard it is. It's easier said then done and they're aren't as big as I am. I'm only 21! I wanna live my life and I can't....I can't the way I want to!!!!! I need help & I need it NOW! I can't keep putting this off until I have a heart attack or something! I feel like I'm not going to live to see 30 and that's scary. Everytime I go to the doctor my blood pressure is up and I'm scared of getting diabetes because it does run in my family! & I'm told how beautiful I am...but if I only could lose the weight. There's so many things in life I want to do and I can't. I can't even go on rides at an amusement park and I barely fit in the sits at the movies. It's getting to the point where I don't even want to leave my house because I'm worried of what people will think. I want to be able to go out with my boyfriend and be around his friends with no same. I'm just ashamed and disgusted with myself!!! & sometimes I feel like writing to Dr. Phil thinking that maybe he can help me, but I don't want to be on tv and I figure he probably gets millions of letters a day so he'd never read mine. I just really need some help or advice or something. I can't keep being unhappy....this weight is holding me back from living my life the way I want to live it.
 
First | Prev | 131 | 132 | 133 | 134 | 135 | 136 | 137 | Next | Last