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July 29, 2005, 5:49 pm PDT

Hello looking for support

i am 37 year old single lady who weighs 420 lbs, i have been overweight all my life, i need a wake up call, life is passing me by, i am very embarrassed by my weight yet seem to deny how i seem to just exist and the health issues of my obesity. i just would like to talk to someone who understands what it is to be in this situation. maybe find encouragement and support one another

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cheriemont

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July 31, 2005, 5:02 pm PDT

I'd like to invite you to come to our board

Quote From: handmaiden

I'm 41 year old, Married I have 1 child a 6 year old daughter, I weigh over 300 lbs. And my daughter weighs over 100 lbs. I used to have an night mares when she was a infant that she would be crying wanting a Hershey bar I had in my hand and I would say no, no, no, baby I cant give it to you I don't want you to be fat like mommy, I would not give her cakes, cookies, nothing sweet or fattening then she went in for her 2 yr check up the Dr told me she was under weight I thought to my self "OH MY GOSH I AM DEPRIVING MY DAUGHTER BE CAUSE OF MY FEARS" I had mixed emotions so I started letting her have the cookies and cakes then she started sneaking in the refrigerator and I caught her sticking her hand in the butter and eating it plain, then the mayo, and peanut butter she had learned how to disable the alarm on the refrigerator I'm so worried about her I don't know if she is still sneaking in the refrigerator but I do know she claims she is hungry all the time I wish there was a way I could get her to understand but how can I do that when I don't understand and I do the same thing well, I don't stick my hand in the butter ha but I do over eat, I thought I did not have a problem till now. I have tried and it is just to hard I try walking my feet hurt so bad I cant stand it I know some of it is the heal spur I am getting so stressed there are other things in my life and with it all it makes me crazy my mind don't work rite no more it has got to the point I am wondering if I am getting Alzheimer I just cant function I know I should go to the DR but I cant afford it when I wake up in the morning I cant hardly move my bones and muscles hurt so bad I am the biggest I have ever been I have known energy I cant even clean my house I am in pain all the time I don't want my daughter to go threw this I am so scared and afraid it is to late for me but how can I help my daughter? Well, that is were I am now.

I belong to a message board right here on Dr. Phil's website that is very positive and supportive. We are a group of people who mostly have at least 200 lb. to lose (some have more and some a bit less--but we all are facing a very long weight-loss journey). By knowing that it will take us more than a year to lose our weight and get to our get-real goal weight, we face unique challenges that many others who have less to lose do not have. Our group is very helpful and will give you all the loving support you need along the way and an occasional kick in the seat if that's needed too (gently, of course). About our only rules are that we must not be critical of one another and no profanity. You really need to come and check us out--read and post daily even if it's just to say "hi" and get to know the group. Messages posted for one person are usually helpful for several people, so don't skip any--just read them all and stay caught up if you can.

To find us, go up to the "Message Boards" and then scroll down to WEIGHT. Under that you'll find "Weight Loss Challenge Discussions". If you click on that, you'll see a list of message boards and if you scroll just a little bit you'll see "200 Pounds or more to lose". That's us! So just click on that and start reading! All are welcome--we're mostly women, but a few guys have joined us too. Many only read and just post a message once in a blue moon, but that's ok. It does help you more if you post daily though, so people get to know you and can help you overcome your challenges.

Hope to see you on our board!!

Cherie

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cheriemont

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July 31, 2005, 5:13 pm PDT

Please come to the 200+ board

Quote From: gagirl69

Hello. I am 36 years old and have been married 14 years. We have a 7 year old son and he is overweight too. I weigh over 450lbs and very , very tired of being that way. Thank God my son has lost 4 pounds!!!! He is very active, always outside playing and jumping on the trampoline. he drinks water all the time even when he eats and thats not much at all. And when we go out, he orders a diet drink. I pray that he continues to loose the weight and that I can start. My problems is not with eating awhole lot. Its because of lack of exercise. My sister lives next door to me and I am out of breath just walking to her house, and its not far at all. I AM TIRED OF BEING TIRED ALL THE TIME. I have looked into having gastric bypass , but have no money to pay for it. and sad to say no insurance either. Thanks and God Bless You

We have several people who started in the 400s and some even higher. And they are losing!! I started at 360 and am losing too, even though I have very bad arthritis and deterioration in my knees that prevents me from walking. There are other alternative exercises to do and by just starting 5 minutes a day (or even one minute five times a day) it's a start. Please come to our 200+ message board under the Weight Loss Challenge Discussion section of the message boards (you need to click Message Boards and Scroll down to find us). I know you'll be glad you joined our group and you'll have the loving, caring support we all need along the journey. We who have a lot to lose have unique challenges that someone with only 30 or 50 lb. to lose cannot possibly understand.

It's possible to lose the weight, get healthy and NOT have to resort to life-threatening surgery. Most insurance companies don't pay for that surgery and it is extremely expensive. And even then, some who have had it wind up gaining the weight back again!! And some die. Yes, some people die on the table or shortly after the surgery. It is really not the best alternative for most people--surely it's worth a try to come to our board and work through the 7 Keys. We have been offered a gift and it's up to us to choose to accept it. Please come on over. We need you as much as you need us.

Cherie

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cheriemont

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July 31, 2005, 5:17 pm PDT

Please join our group

Quote From: bo0mkat

Hello, I am a 24 year old woman. I have been overweight all of my life, or at least as long as I can remember. I was the fat kid in school, and we moved a lot so I had to adjust to different places..with the same mean kids. Being made fun of as a child has stuck with me. I wish I knew how to forget or let it go, but I can't. I feel like people are always staring at me, and whispering under their breath about how big I am. I have come to terms that I will never be married or have a life with this weight I carry.

I am 302 lbs. and only a mere 5ft tall. My weight is just now getting to the point where it is critical I lose weight. I have a bum knee, that slips in and out of place, I am always tired, and I cannot walk in the heat without complaining. I am 24 going on 50. I know if I continue to live like this, I may not be around too much longer.

My mother recently had the gastric bypass procedure done. She looks great, and has lost over 100 lbs. I prefer to try to continue to lose it on my own. One of my family members approached me today and told me that they feel I use this weight as a security blanket. They said I try to hide behind it, and the happy me is stuck inside.That brought tears to my eyes, because it is true.

Every time I feel an emotion I eat. I even eat when I am not hungry. I feel so disgusting when I look at myself in the mirror, I do not even recognize myself anymore.

I wish I could just wake up and be a healthy weight. I need to find a motivation, and I need to confide in someone who understands, and who can help me through this time.

I recently joined a weight loss program, and I plan to be 115 lbs by Christmas of 2006.

Lastly, for those who can understand where I am coming from, how can someone like me excercise without feeling like they are going to pass out, from a 3 minute walk?

I need all the support and advice you can give-

Gellissa

Please come to the "200 pounds to lose" message board right here on Dr. Phil's website. We have many people with more to lose than you have and they are all losing it!! When we have that much to lose, we have unique challenges. As you have estimated, it will take you over a year to get healthy and get your weight down. This is more than just weight loss--it's getting healthy psychologically too and developing a whole new lifestyle. Let us help you along that journey. There are some who were totally bedridden to start with and are now ambulatory again. Some (like me) are unable to exercise by walking, but we have other forms of exercise we can do. Yes, I'd pass out even after a 3-min. walk, but I can do arm swirls, I can dance for 1 or 2 minutes several times a day, and there's more. But you really owe it to yourself to come and join the most supportive message board ever!

I hope to see you there soon.

Cherie

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cheriemont

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July 31, 2005, 5:24 pm PDT

I'm a 58 year old woman who started at 360

Quote From: wakeywakey

i am 37 year old single lady who weighs 420 lbs, i have been overweight all my life, i need a wake up call, life is passing me by, i am very embarrassed by my weight yet seem to deny how i seem to just exist and the health issues of my obesity. i just would like to talk to someone who understands what it is to be in this situation. maybe find encouragement and support one another

I think it's great that you're getting your wake-up call long before I did. I was overweight at 37 years old too, but kept trying one diet after another and all that did was add more pounds than I'd started with as soon as the diet was over. Don't waste time on embarrassment--there's nothing to be ashamed of it you're working positively to improve your health. Please come to the "200 Pounds or more to lose" message board where WE ALL share the same feelings of being morbidly obese. WE ALL know the unique challenges of trying to exercise at that weight. And we are ALL very tired of being grouped with people with 30 or 50 or even 75 pounds to lose because they haven't a clue what it's like for us. We will be on the program for YEARS while they will be able to reach their weight goal in a year or less. WE will have success too in that time, but people will still look at us and see an obese person because even after a year of good weight loss we will still be obese.

It can be very distressing and very depressing OR it can be a situation that we can share and air our feelings. It's been proven that weight loss is improved when shared with others in the same situation. And I can tell you from experience in other support groups that unless someone has 200 pounds (or at least close to 200 pounds) to lose OR MORE they are NOT in the same situation we are. Please come join our group--you'll be so glad you found the caring support you need to make it along the weight loss journey. We do care and we want to help you and we'd like you to come and help us too.

Hope to see you on the board soon.

Cherie

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sunshyn

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August 4, 2005, 6:07 am PDT

Hi

Quote From: omachris

I am an obese woman who has had stomach stapling four years ago, I am 51 mother of four, grandmother of eight. 280 pounds. My parents both died young, Mom 66, Dad 55, My brother last year 46. I come from a family all obese.I have five sisters four obese, one thin as a rail. I fear that if I cannot get it right in my head on what to do that I will die soon, I have MS, and this has limited me in many ways. I suffer from severe depression all the time and am taking all kinds of medications for depression and fro my MS. Including Rebif injection three times a week. Is there any help for me, I feel miserable , very lonely, I live isolated as I feel that I am unworthy of friends, or even a loving relationship with my husband. I have been married to him for 34 years, but he basically lives his own lie traveling the world as a missionary, leaving me to fend for myself for months at a time.He is very controlling women he is at home. I grew up in a very strict Christan home where i WAS TAUGHT THAT THE MAN IS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE. and the woman is obedient to the man.So is there any hope for an obese woman who doesn't want to die young.

Hi there,

I just now saw your post and I am very sorry for not replying to you sooner!!!!! I would love to chat with you!! I wanted to send you a private e-mail, or send you regular e-mail, but I didn't see any way of doing it, so I figured I would do it this way.

I am in the same situation that you are when it comes to being overweight and depressed!! I just went to my Dr and I weight 294 pounds. So I also have a lot to lose as well!! I am also on mediciation for depression. I was told that I have severe Depression, or either Major depression..which ever is worse thats the one I have! I think they both sound about the same, but could be wrong.

I also do not feel worthy and that's not good for either one of us! So I know what you are going through!

I also lost my grandparents last yr and this yr. They raised me. Daddy (Grandpa) died in March of this yr, and Grandma died last yr.

CONGRATS for being married for so long to the same man!!!!!! :) My husband and I have been married now for 20 yrs. I also grew up and believe that the "man is the head of the house, and that the woman is to submit herself unto her own husband" It is also in the bible. This is the way that I still believe, but my husband is not very controlling! He pays the bills, we talk about many things, but the final decision is his to make...but I always let him know how I feel, and he takes my feelings into consideration! He is not a Missionary, and even though we do not attend church on a regular basis, we still still believe this way, because this is the way we were both raised.

Have you ever thought of going with your husband? Or will he not let you? Just curious! :)

I am getting ready to turn 38, and I know what you mean! I do not want to die young either!!!! How about you and I getting together and writing each other? Feel up to it? Because personally, I feel like everyone needs a friend to talk to, or to just laugh with, or even to cry on their shoulder! That's what friends are for, and hey..I know I could use some friends and would love to be your friend!! :)

Don't worry, I have low self esteem also. I have had it all my life, and still do! Maybe we can work on this together and help each other out...maybe we can even help each other with losing this weight we have on us! :) Hey, I'm willing if you are!!! :)

You know, about our husband's. I also feel unworthy when it comes to mine as well, but hey, there must be something about you that he loves, or he wouldn't have married you!! :)

Audry@ec.rr.com send me an e-mail, and let's become friends with each other! I know that we can do this together!! :)

Love & Hugs,

Audry

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krista1234

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August 6, 2005, 8:40 am PDT

Hello from Canada.

Hello everyone. I, too, am starting once again to try to try to get my life in order and get losing this weight that I have put on. I believe that I weigh around 350 pounds and just feel so sad and frustrated and just don't know where to begin. Well, actually I do know where to begin I just can't seem to do it. I think that I have really given up on myself and have resigned myself to a life of unhappiness and dissatisfaction with myself. However, I don't want to give up on myself. Today, I really do want to start again.

I see that there are many people on this message board who are just like me in many ways. I want to shout to all of you.... "DON'T GIVE UP. YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU CAN DO IT". I know from my own experience that this is really tough but I do believe that together we can do it. In fact, I need to shout these same things to myself. I, too, need to be reminded of this. Start fresh today and if you fail, start again tomorrow. If I can help anyone, feel free to email me at krista1234@shaw.ca.

Have a great day.

Krista

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confused1

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August 22, 2005, 8:54 pm PDT

i'm tired of being fat!

i guess i'm not tired enough of it. i'm 5'7" tall and 320 lbs. i'm miserable and mad at myself. i had a membership to fitness club but that went bad. i had a job that i got off work early enough to meet my brother at the club. i got down to 280 from 329. i was feeling better. really proud of myself. i lost that job, ( it was seasonal) and my new job made it hard to get to the club. now my member-ship has expired and i'm getting fat again. it took me 6 months to lose 49 pounds and about a month to put it back on. i get up at 3:30 a.m. so i can start work at 5:00 a.m. i work till 5:00 p.m. usually. i do'nt feel like working out but i know i need to. i just can't seem to make myself do it. my brother has a new girlfriend also so he's out of the picture. i rarely seem him. were really not that close any- way. he's no support. he can eat whatever he wants and never gain a pound. for him when it comes to working out he could take it or leave it. he does'nt really need it. i do'nt have many friends so i'm on my own. i do'nt make friends easily because i have a hard time trusting people. it takes a long time for me to trust somebody. i'm not very outgoing. and it seems like when i was thinner it was easier to make contact with people. when your fat it's like nobody wants to get near you, like it's going to rub off on them. i've always battled my weight but not obese, just fat. i'm a bad procrastinator also. i bought dr. phils weight loss book but i can't seem to find time to read it. i'm not much on reading. i've bought a couple other weight loss books also, but i need to read them too. i have several self-help books, but again i need to read them. there's not enough time in the day. i need somebody to do this with me, but that's just not going to happen. i'll have to go it alone which is how it's been for me for 13 years now. this should be easy. i should be used to this.

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cheriemont

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August 23, 2005, 6:41 am PDT

We want to be there for you

Quote From: confused1

i guess i'm not tired enough of it. i'm 5'7" tall and 320 lbs. i'm miserable and mad at myself. i had a membership to fitness club but that went bad. i had a job that i got off work early enough to meet my brother at the club. i got down to 280 from 329. i was feeling better. really proud of myself. i lost that job, ( it was seasonal) and my new job made it hard to get to the club. now my member-ship has expired and i'm getting fat again. it took me 6 months to lose 49 pounds and about a month to put it back on. i get up at 3:30 a.m. so i can start work at 5:00 a.m. i work till 5:00 p.m. usually. i do'nt feel like working out but i know i need to. i just can't seem to make myself do it. my brother has a new girlfriend also so he's out of the picture. i rarely seem him. were really not that close any- way. he's no support. he can eat whatever he wants and never gain a pound. for him when it comes to working out he could take it or leave it. he does'nt really need it. i do'nt have many friends so i'm on my own. i do'nt make friends easily because i have a hard time trusting people. it takes a long time for me to trust somebody. i'm not very outgoing. and it seems like when i was thinner it was easier to make contact with people. when your fat it's like nobody wants to get near you, like it's going to rub off on them. i've always battled my weight but not obese, just fat. i'm a bad procrastinator also. i bought dr. phils weight loss book but i can't seem to find time to read it. i'm not much on reading. i've bought a couple other weight loss books also, but i need to read them too. i have several self-help books, but again i need to read them. there's not enough time in the day. i need somebody to do this with me, but that's just not going to happen. i'll have to go it alone which is how it's been for me for 13 years now. this should be easy. i should be used to this.

At 320 lb. you definitely have unique challenges that those who have only 20, 30 or 50 lb. to lose cannot possibly identify with. I started the WLC at 360 lb. and many in our support group started at higher than that. What we all have in common is the need to lose 200 lb. or more (some a little less, as in your case). But the need to lose large amounts like that mean that it will take over a year (maybe more than 2 years for some of us) to get to our goal weight. Many of us also have health problems that restrict our exercise abilities (I did not say we couldn't exercise, just that it's restricted or limited) and we have a greater chance to sustain injury if we don't go at it sensibly and slow-and-steady. Sometimes we tend to get enthusiastic and over-do it, causing injury. If you're interested in joining our special support group, please come to the message board titled "200 or More pounds to lose".

www.drphil.com/messageboard/topic/209/

We'd be glad to have you join us so we can help each other along the journey. We share tips, advice, caring, recipes and an occasional pat on the back or kick in the seat, depending on what we need that day. We are all familiar with the isolation that comes from carrying that much excess weight--we are all "going it alone" so to speak, but we all have formed this special family-type bond on our message board. We'd like to help you too and we'd like you to join in helping us. Together WE CAN DO IT!!

I hope to see you on the board--have a great day!

Cherie

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kissymouth

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