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July 14, 2007, 6:36 am PDT
 Quote From: nadja37 hi everyone cant write long so later i will respond to some of the postings i was reading. have to get everyone ready for a doctors appointment here in a few minutes. which should prove interesting. yesterday was the first time in a long time that it was actually warm but able to breath with a nice breeze we went to a state park only about 15 miles away and let the boys play my hsuband though thought it would be nice for them to see thewater and the pool area not a good idea since i told him what would happen but we are at odds again and he wouldnt listen. both boys tried to get in the lake and both wanted to go swimming. of course we didnt bring swim wear so that was out of the question iknow i was shocked at how much it had changed since i was there last but that was at least 20 years ago. okay most everyone is or was married on this board. i have a serious question when do you know it is over? all me and my husband do is fight he constantly makes fun of me and my weight he criticises everything i do and basically is mena and hateful towards me. iknow that i am a stay at home mom but he never spends time with his boys like yesterday we went to the park he sat on a picnic table and watched as me and the boys went down slides and climbed on things. but the the thing that got me the most is when my youngest son refused to stay with us and would take off across the play area to the road and he would yell for me to run after him and then say mean things about me being too slow. it is truly getting harder and harder to remember why i fell in love with this monster because he is far from the man i married. i know my weight is disgusting i am getting so big i can hardly breath and my chest hurts all of the time but yesterday when he told me that he wished i would go ahead and die and he wished that everytime he looked at me i know that the end is coming. i have been going to my sisters the days i have her daughter and this week my other neice so that we dont bother him, and the boys get to be boys at their house. he hates it when they enjoy being with my family. but yesterday proved to me that my boys really dont care if he is around or not just as long as i am there. i am so much termoil i really just dont know what or where to turn. i have to go time is up i need to get the boys dressed.thanks for listening.......nadja Well, I am sorry to hear of your troubles with your husband, no one deserves to hear the kinds of things he is saying to you. In my opinion, you need to get some marriage counselling. If neither of you is up to that then you have to ask yourself some questions. My husband and I went through a seperation, i left him b/c of different things, one of them being i felt we had grown apart, we were always fighting, alot of it my fault, i was angry alot of the time, we were young, we had a lot of things go on in the first of our marriage and it made things hard to deal with. and then a baby not long after and that just compounds problems sometimes. I think back now that we are back together and I am really trying not to let things build up, i try to go be by myself if i feel i am getting angry so as not to say hurtful things. Most importantly we talk more now. We will spend an hour on the couch just talking or laying in bed just talking. I think we let that slip before. In my opinion you have to communicate and you have to be honest with each other or its not going to work. That is just my experience. I almost let something go that i shouldnt have in the first place b/c i was too stubborn to do any different or try anything to help it. Looking back now, I wish we had tried harder to get some help, to learn how to be there for each other etc.
You do not deserve to be called names or to be put down in any way. He should be there for you, supporting you, doing what he can to make this transition in your life as easy as possible. He should also realize that just because you are at home with the children doesn't mean that you dont need help with things. Have you had heart to hearts with him to tell him how you feel, and that you need help and his support with things. not just you but with the kids as well? If he is just going to make fun of you or berate you for trying to fix things then I think it may be time to think about what you want. I cannot tell you to stay or go only you can make that decision. You have to ask yourself which life you want, which one you will be happy with. Can you take care of the kids, do you have other people to help support you until you get on your feet. Of the utmost importance is if you feel you really do not love him and there is not way out, dont go through life not being happy, it isn't worth it. As drphil would say, we have one trip through this life, one shot. Why would you want to spend it miserable with this man that doesnot respect you>? You deserve so much more. And trust me that first time you think im going to do this on my own is scary as hell. im not going to lie. you wonder if you can do it , if you can afford it, what happens if?? I found a new job when i left him, i found an apartment i could afford and off i went. It was hard, it was an adjustment, i am lucky to have family here (my parents and my brother) but it can be done. And for a while i was really happy to have that place to myself, i had never really had that before. I guess im not really giving you a straight answer i just really want you to think what you need. Stop living for your husband and your kids for a minute and ask yourself what you want. if you are truly not happy and you have done eveyrthing you can , and he refuses to go to counselling, then you may have to consider other options. with any luck if you tell him you feel things are falling apart and you need him to step up, maybe he will go to the counselling with you. Just tell him things aren't the same, you are fighting , you aren't happy, you need him to be there for the family and you think that some counselling might help bring you back on track. It wont hurt to ask him, the worst he can say is no, and then you can go from there and make some decisions.
It is hard and im sure you are really sad and stressed out right now, i know i would be. Just keep thinking you are better than what he says. It is too easy to fall into those traps and we are hard enough on ourselves and what we say to ourselves about our weight without someone we love calling us names and making it even harder. What he probably doesn't realize is the more he hurts you and callsyou names, the harder he is making the situation, cause if you are like me, the more people hurt me, i want to eat. try not to, it will be hard but you can keep your focus and go through this too. big cyber hugs
Alyssa |
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July 14, 2007, 1:23 pm PDT
Quote From: chapom Well, I am sorry to hear of your troubles with your husband, no one deserves to hear the kinds of things he is saying to you. In my opinion, you need to get some marriage counselling. If neither of you is up to that then you have to ask yourself some questions. My husband and I went through a seperation, i left him b/c of different things, one of them being i felt we had grown apart, we were always fighting, alot of it my fault, i was angry alot of the time, we were young, we had a lot of things go on in the first of our marriage and it made things hard to deal with. and then a baby not long after and that just compounds problems sometimes. I think back now that we are back together and I am really trying not to let things build up, i try to go be by myself if i feel i am getting angry so as not to say hurtful things. Most importantly we talk more now. We will spend an hour on the couch just talking or laying in bed just talking. I think we let that slip before. In my opinion you have to communicate and you have to be honest with each other or its not going to work. That is just my experience. I almost let something go that i shouldnt have in the first place b/c i was too stubborn to do any different or try anything to help it. Looking back now, I wish we had tried harder to get some help, to learn how to be there for each other etc.
You do not deserve to be called names or to be put down in any way. He should be there for you, supporting you, doing what he can to make this transition in your life as easy as possible. He should also realize that just because you are at home with the children doesn't mean that you dont need help with things. Have you had heart to hearts with him to tell him how you feel, and that you need help and his support with things. not just you but with the kids as well? If he is just going to make fun of you or berate you for trying to fix things then I think it may be time to think about what you want. I cannot tell you to stay or go only you can make that decision. You have to ask yourself which life you want, which one you will be happy with. Can you take care of the kids, do you have other people to help support you until you get on your feet. Of the utmost importance is if you feel you really do not love him and there is not way out, dont go through life not being happy, it isn't worth it. As drphil would say, we have one trip through this life, one shot. Why would you want to spend it miserable with this man that doesnot respect you>? You deserve so much more. And trust me that first time you think im going to do this on my own is scary as hell. im not going to lie. you wonder if you can do it , if you can afford it, what happens if?? I found a new job when i left him, i found an apartment i could afford and off i went. It was hard, it was an adjustment, i am lucky to have family here (my parents and my brother) but it can be done. And for a while i was really happy to have that place to myself, i had never really had that before. I guess im not really giving you a straight answer i just really want you to think what you need. Stop living for your husband and your kids for a minute and ask yourself what you want. if you are truly not happy and you have done eveyrthing you can , and he refuses to go to counselling, then you may have to consider other options. with any luck if you tell him you feel things are falling apart and you need him to step up, maybe he will go to the counselling with you. Just tell him things aren't the same, you are fighting , you aren't happy, you need him to be there for the family and you think that some counselling might help bring you back on track. It wont hurt to ask him, the worst he can say is no, and then you can go from there and make some decisions.
It is hard and im sure you are really sad and stressed out right now, i know i would be. Just keep thinking you are better than what he says. It is too easy to fall into those traps and we are hard enough on ourselves and what we say to ourselves about our weight without someone we love calling us names and making it even harder. What he probably doesn't realize is the more he hurts you and callsyou names, the harder he is making the situation, cause if you are like me, the more people hurt me, i want to eat. try not to, it will be hard but you can keep your focus and go through this too. big cyber hugs
Alyssa alyssa thank you for your input on my situation. i know that we need to go to counseling that is the one thing i know i also know that if i mention it he will ignore me and then be nice for a few days before he becomes a jerk again. i can honestly tell you that his words hurt more than anyones ever has even my family and parents never hurt as bad as his does. i guess it is because i truly love my husband and i accept his imperfections and thought he did mine. i really dont know if he thinks saying those things will make me lose weight but in all reality it just makes me want to eat more. as for having someone to help me until i get back on my feet the answer sadly would have to be no. i dont have any friends since i quit work and chose to stay home with my boys. as for my family they would just keep telling me that they knew it wouldnt work because our cultures were just to different and just tell me how much of a failure i was. plus tell me how worthless my husband is and though at times i hate him i love him and that would only make matters more tense between me and my family than they already are. plus i wouldnt want to subject my kids to their torments. so basically if it ever comes to leaving i would definately have to have a job before hand which wouldnt be hard because my old job has already offered to hire me back but at a severe paycut. my husband is a jerk and i know it i put alot of it off on the fact that our cultures are different the area i live is very prejudice and basically he is a very friendly person and no matter how hard he tries he just cant seem to click with people here. the language barrier is one thing mainly because he speaks fluent french his english is england english and that is definately different from american english. he has an accent and as soon as people hear that they close up on him and it is hard to find a job in his field because of that. so i put alot of our problems off on that but the name calling just kills me because i was much bigger when we married at least 400+ pounds and he never said anything he actually said i was beautiful and would kiss me in public and hold my hand but something has changed that between us. some days he shows a hint of that man and i think everything is well worth it. than other days i could just cry and eat a gallon of ice cream thank god we dont buy the stuff or i am sure i would. i am sure you will understand but when he touches me and we are having a good time together just that one touch sets off fires throughout my body and i know he is my prince charming when he looks in my eyes with his big brown/aurburn eyes i know everything will be all right and when we sleep together i know he will always protect me. but its the next day that is killing my heart and spirits. i just cant seem to please him nomatter what i do. i really honestly believe if i told him that i would move back to nantes with him he would be happy again. but i cant do that because i dont speak the language and i dont like his family and they dont like me because of my size. so what do i do now? ????nadja |
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July 14, 2007, 9:14 pm PDT
Quote From: chapom Well, I am sorry to hear of your troubles with your husband, no one deserves to hear the kinds of things he is saying to you. In my opinion, you need to get some marriage counselling. If neither of you is up to that then you have to ask yourself some questions. My husband and I went through a seperation, i left him b/c of different things, one of them being i felt we had grown apart, we were always fighting, alot of it my fault, i was angry alot of the time, we were young, we had a lot of things go on in the first of our marriage and it made things hard to deal with. and then a baby not long after and that just compounds problems sometimes. I think back now that we are back together and I am really trying not to let things build up, i try to go be by myself if i feel i am getting angry so as not to say hurtful things. Most importantly we talk more now. We will spend an hour on the couch just talking or laying in bed just talking. I think we let that slip before. In my opinion you have to communicate and you have to be honest with each other or its not going to work. That is just my experience. I almost let something go that i shouldnt have in the first place b/c i was too stubborn to do any different or try anything to help it. Looking back now, I wish we had tried harder to get some help, to learn how to be there for each other etc.
You do not deserve to be called names or to be put down in any way. He should be there for you, supporting you, doing what he can to make this transition in your life as easy as possible. He should also realize that just because you are at home with the children doesn't mean that you dont need help with things. Have you had heart to hearts with him to tell him how you feel, and that you need help and his support with things. not just you but with the kids as well? If he is just going to make fun of you or berate you for trying to fix things then I think it may be time to think about what you want. I cannot tell you to stay or go only you can make that decision. You have to ask yourself which life you want, which one you will be happy with. Can you take care of the kids, do you have other people to help support you until you get on your feet. Of the utmost importance is if you feel you really do not love him and there is not way out, dont go through life not being happy, it isn't worth it. As drphil would say, we have one trip through this life, one shot. Why would you want to spend it miserable with this man that doesnot respect you>? You deserve so much more. And trust me that first time you think im going to do this on my own is scary as hell. im not going to lie. you wonder if you can do it , if you can afford it, what happens if?? I found a new job when i left him, i found an apartment i could afford and off i went. It was hard, it was an adjustment, i am lucky to have family here (my parents and my brother) but it can be done. And for a while i was really happy to have that place to myself, i had never really had that before. I guess im not really giving you a straight answer i just really want you to think what you need. Stop living for your husband and your kids for a minute and ask yourself what you want. if you are truly not happy and you have done eveyrthing you can , and he refuses to go to counselling, then you may have to consider other options. with any luck if you tell him you feel things are falling apart and you need him to step up, maybe he will go to the counselling with you. Just tell him things aren't the same, you are fighting , you aren't happy, you need him to be there for the family and you think that some counselling might help bring you back on track. It wont hurt to ask him, the worst he can say is no, and then you can go from there and make some decisions.
It is hard and im sure you are really sad and stressed out right now, i know i would be. Just keep thinking you are better than what he says. It is too easy to fall into those traps and we are hard enough on ourselves and what we say to ourselves about our weight without someone we love calling us names and making it even harder. What he probably doesn't realize is the more he hurts you and callsyou names, the harder he is making the situation, cause if you are like me, the more people hurt me, i want to eat. try not to, it will be hard but you can keep your focus and go through this too. big cyber hugs
Alyssa hi nadja My mind goes to something dr phil says," children would rather be from a broken home than to live in one". And that is so true, I used to work for the domestic violence coalition, and one of the things we always tell the woman that abuse is not always physical, and in all truth mental and emotional abuse are worse because the scars do not go away. I have been seeing what you write for awhile and I think that you a very loving and caring person and a really good mom. You do not deserve to be treated that way by anyone. I was in an abusive relationship for 13 years and took lots of stuff, but now i am out and I ahve never been happier in my life. I have learned to stand up for myself. My advice to you is to get out!!! I know that is easy to say but if you ever need someone to help you all you have to do is ask. I don't know you but I would love to help you I will give you my e-mail and feel free to write me and ask what ever you need help with. Noone deserves what you are going through and your kids deserve better also. My e-mail is ncnhwoman@yahoo.com. Candy can tell you I can be a really good friend and I will be here for you. Keep your chin up and know that there are ppl out here that will be your friend and help you. tammy |
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July 15, 2007, 1:23 am PDT
Quote From: nadja37 hi everyone cant write long so later i will respond to some of the postings i was reading. have to get everyone ready for a doctors appointment here in a few minutes. which should prove interesting. yesterday was the first time in a long time that it was actually warm but able to breath with a nice breeze we went to a state park only about 15 miles away and let the boys play my hsuband though thought it would be nice for them to see thewater and the pool area not a good idea since i told him what would happen but we are at odds again and he wouldnt listen. both boys tried to get in the lake and both wanted to go swimming. of course we didnt bring swim wear so that was out of the question iknow i was shocked at how much it had changed since i was there last but that was at least 20 years ago. okay most everyone is or was married on this board. i have a serious question when do you know it is over? all me and my husband do is fight he constantly makes fun of me and my weight he criticises everything i do and basically is mena and hateful towards me. iknow that i am a stay at home mom but he never spends time with his boys like yesterday we went to the park he sat on a picnic table and watched as me and the boys went down slides and climbed on things. but the the thing that got me the most is when my youngest son refused to stay with us and would take off across the play area to the road and he would yell for me to run after him and then say mean things about me being too slow. it is truly getting harder and harder to remember why i fell in love with this monster because he is far from the man i married. i know my weight is disgusting i am getting so big i can hardly breath and my chest hurts all of the time but yesterday when he told me that he wished i would go ahead and die and he wished that everytime he looked at me i know that the end is coming. i have been going to my sisters the days i have her daughter and this week my other neice so that we dont bother him, and the boys get to be boys at their house. he hates it when they enjoy being with my family. but yesterday proved to me that my boys really dont care if he is around or not just as long as i am there. i am so much termoil i really just dont know what or where to turn. i have to go time is up i need to get the boys dressed.thanks for listening.......nadja I think you know its over now! He doesnt deserve you or your kids how dare he talk to you like that and wish youd die what an ugly man! staying with this man (I use the term loosely) is killing you and hurting your kids in so many ways.You must be strong and take your kids and leave while you still have some dignity and confidence left and i bet once you are away from all the stress and crap he puts you through you will be able to lose weight and focus on you and your boys. Then you know who will try crawling back to you and you can be the one with the power. Please nadja you have to act and act now. |
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July 15, 2007, 10:05 pm PDT
nick has decided I isolate to much at home. he has made instructions he wants me to follow that included getting out of the house for several hours a day. he wants me out socializing I did it for two nights and slept well. woke up about 7-730 am. I hate amitting nick could be rite. well time to go find a no caffine drink and hit the hay . dawn coms early huggs to all until next time...............grace |
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July 16, 2007, 1:44 am PDT
Quote From: gaball nick has decided I isolate to much at home. he has made instructions he wants me to follow that included getting out of the house for several hours a day. he wants me out socializing I did it for two nights and slept well. woke up about 7-730 am. I hate amitting nick could be rite. well time to go find a no caffine drink and hit the hay . dawn coms early huggs to all until next time...............grace I did not get to sleep until well after 1200am and here I sit posting at 430am. not very much sleep. had to get up to potty and now I am up for the count. don't think I will get back to sleep now. so in the mean time I will look for paper work I need to help get my hospital bills covered so I can go back to cardiac rehab. nick has promised to help with them. make copies and send them in for me. don't tell him I said this or I will deny it, but he really is a sweet, good guy. he really is educated too in the field he chose to work in, but I really hate for him to know I even think these things. it will go to his big head. oh well enough about nick. I have plans to go to dinner with mom and aunt fern to a cousins house for dinner tonight. baked ziti I think is on the menu. I hope garlic bread too. I love the stuff. I hope she has sugar free or diet beverages as I should not have regular. I will do best I can do with what she has though. at least I will be getting out around folks for a couple hours. looking forward to that I think. I am so bad about wanting to just be at home alone sometimes it is hard to go out, no matter who it is with. I really need to work on this with new therapist when I get set up with her. this is one promise I will make to my self and to all of you. I will work on the fact that it is bad for me to isolate and it is sabotaging my healthy eating program and hurting me in the long run. maybe she will have some ideas on what I can do to help me. oh well ladies time to go test sugar and have some breakfast. banana nut muffin and hot tea this morning. not had that in a long time. should be a treat for me. ...until next time....huggs.....grace |
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July 16, 2007, 10:52 pm PDT
and here I am awake. I went to a dinner last night at a cousin in laws. she served home made ziti. it was very good. we had Cesar salad on the side with sweet tea. not sure if it had caffeine or not. it was Arizona presweet tea. everything was good. I did turn down desert though, she offered ice cream. I did not over eat, was pleasantly full. came home watched csi for a while, set VCR up for Tuesday afternoon to see if it will work. lately it has not been taping my soaps., I may just need a new tape. I hope that is all. I can not afford for my VCR/DD player to go up on me. I did manage a mile walk yesterday morning. I will have to start out slow again with my walking, a mile a day for a week or so then increase a little at a time. I have been out of it so long I may never catch up where I need to be. just yesterday I started eating 3 meals a day and no snacks in between. that will be difficult to get back in the habit Of but it must be done. it has to be done in baby steps and baby steps it will be until I get back on track. I actually can go with out food for a while just don't take my beverages away from me. 90% of my waking time I have a beverage of some kind in my hand. and I wander why I have so much trouble with my bladder. well ladies it is time to sign off and see if I can find the paper work nick wants to help me get financial aid so I can go back to rehab a couple days a week when weather cools off. he said he will help me and I am going to let him. I just have to get papers to gather. I will have them all ready for him by end of week. ...until next time...huggs....grace |
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July 17, 2007, 4:48 am PDT
Quote From: gaball and here I am awake. I went to a dinner last night at a cousin in laws. she served home made ziti. it was very good. we had Cesar salad on the side with sweet tea. not sure if it had caffeine or not. it was Arizona presweet tea. everything was good. I did turn down desert though, she offered ice cream. I did not over eat, was pleasantly full. came home watched csi for a while, set VCR up for Tuesday afternoon to see if it will work. lately it has not been taping my soaps., I may just need a new tape. I hope that is all. I can not afford for my VCR/DD player to go up on me. I did manage a mile walk yesterday morning. I will have to start out slow again with my walking, a mile a day for a week or so then increase a little at a time. I have been out of it so long I may never catch up where I need to be. just yesterday I started eating 3 meals a day and no snacks in between. that will be difficult to get back in the habit Of but it must be done. it has to be done in baby steps and baby steps it will be until I get back on track. I actually can go with out food for a while just don't take my beverages away from me. 90% of my waking time I have a beverage of some kind in my hand. and I wander why I have so much trouble with my bladder. well ladies it is time to sign off and see if I can find the paper work nick wants to help me get financial aid so I can go back to rehab a couple days a week when weather cools off. he said he will help me and I am going to let him. I just have to get papers to gather. I will have them all ready for him by end of week. ...until next time...huggs....grace good for you getting back with your walking ! ! !
With the eating, 3 meals a day is good but sometimes you need a little snack, most diets including dr phils i believe, says 3 meals a day and 2 sensable snacks in between, even if its a piece of fruit, some yogurt, granola, some veggies etc. that can help curb the appetite for supper time. i have been doing it and dont gorge myself when i get home from work anymore.
i hope all the paper work goes the way you need it to.
getting out is a good idea, i know it is easy to just feel like being at home is the best thing and you can do what you want and stuff, but it probably is a good idea to try and get out more. Can you spend more time with your mom, or do you have friends you could go have a drink with or go to the mall and walk around with? maybe take up a hobby around there in some kind of group setting that will take a couple hours here and there. Just getting out with people might do some wonders for you too. Have you talked to your doctor about depression or anything like that? i know when i want to just stay home and not be around people is when my depression is getting the best of me. Just a suggestion.
I think you are doing great with cutting back on the caffeine and getting more sleep and starting your walks again ! congrats ) |
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July 17, 2007, 5:51 pm PDT
Quote From: silverkatt I am the very happy success story for gastric bypass and finally I can show you what it did for me. It was March 30, 2001 and I weighed 260 pounds. I was so ready to do this surgery that I would have done it with a 25% SURVIVAL chance. A year later I was 120 pounds lighter, had stopped all high blood pressure medicine and my blood work and blood pressure were incredible. I am 50 years old and married the most wonderful man on earth 3 years ago. Thirty years of obesity and trying and failing at every diet imaginable brought me to this solution. May I suggest that if you consider it that when you look for a doctor, you find out how many patients he has lost. The last time I checked my doctor who has been performing this surgery for at least 5 or 6 years has had NO DEATHS. It's like anything else in life...check out their qualifications and their successes.
I attended a seminar about a year ago with men and women in all stages of pre-op and post-op and there were a couple of guys that had lost 300 and 400 pounds! I met a wonderful woman that had lost 238. It was an incredible weekend. I volunteer my time on a website hoping to guide others that are researching this surgery through their journey.
I would first like to say congrats on your success. You truly look amazing. Would you be willing to email me? I have been to a seminar and want this surgery more than anything. I do have some questions though and I don't feel comfortable talking about some of the more personal issues on the board. My email address is: geekiegurl@gmail.com. Thanks in advance! God bless. |
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July 18, 2007, 9:54 am PDT
Well where do I begin? I feel like I'm in AA or NA or something. OK here goes. Hi My name is Diane and I suffer *yes truly suffer* from Morbid Obesity. I am 40 years old. Married 6 years now to a wonderful very fit man and he chose me. *how odd* But he does love me. I pretty much hate myself. The only time I have ever lost massive weight was when I had a 12 lb tumor on my ovary. Ah yeah I lived to tell. When was in 5th grade I weighed 212 lbs. Don't you dare blame it on my Mom. The school did that enough. I went to a Dietitian and was on her "plan" for about 6 months and nothing changed. Not one ounce dropped. So since then I've been on diet pills, diet shakes, diets, get quick fixes (that didn't fix me) starvation, soups, veggies you name it I've been on it. Nothing. Hey what I did go on was Provera yup...The only thing I got from that was a headache all the time, water gain and gained a whopping 70 lbs. or more. I am currently now at 345 or more. I hate myself. I've tried, I started walking again and at almost a mile my back started hurting so bad I had to stop. I have scoliosis (no major thing) but when It's at the tail bone instead of the middle of my back. When I was 17 I was in a major car accident with a semi truck and well...I couldn't walk for 3 months. My leg was severely damaged and between my knee and ankle it swells twice the size or bigger than my other leg. So if I step wrong I throw my back out. It's that simple. So while I'm attempting to walk my back is killing me and my leg starts to cramp at the ankle and it draws my foot up. NO I'm not deformed..lol I'm normal (for the most part) So what do I do? I want to have Gastric Bypass. At least get some weight off so It's not such a struggle to walk. I might not hurt as bad. Dunno. I was planning on it anyway and I had a first consult and he said I would so awesome with it. I'm healthy otherwise. Thank God! So when I was getting ready for tests and stuff, I got laid off. My husband got laid off..There went insurance. It was only going to cost me right at $1,000.00. I went to the mailbox and there was a letter from my Mom and Dad. I opened it up and there was a check in there for $1000.00. It said as a memo at the bottom "To a New Life". She told me in the letter she wanted to do this because it's not every day that a mother could give her child a second life. 2 months later my Mom passed away. She had cancer. So now I'm just stuck in a hole, getting more depressed. We are raising my husbands 17 year old Niece and so because she doesn't drive (she has a car, no license and her car is broke down. new starter needed) I run her to work every day. I can't find a job. I walk in and they all look at me like I'm some fat idiot and for real. Some even laugh at me when I go in to apply. "Oh the position is filled" then to turn around and take an application from someone who was standing right behind me for the same job. Oh well that's how life rolls I guess...Well that's my story. Probably more but eh who cares anyway right? |
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