Topic : Obesity

I am an obese woman who has had stomach stapling four years ago, I am 51 mother of four, grandmother of eight. 280 pounds. My parents both died young, Mom 66, Dad 55, My brother last year 46. I come from a family all obese.I have five sisters four obese, one thin as a rail. I fear that if I cannot get it right in my head on what to do that I will die soon, I have MS, and this has limited me in many ways. I suffer from severe depression all the time and am taking all kinds of medications for depression and fro my MS. Including Rebif injection three times a week. Is there any help for me, I feel miserable , very lonely, I live isolated as I feel that I am unworthy of friends, or even a loving relationship with my husband. I have been married to him for 34 years, but he basically lives his own lie traveling the world as a missionary, leaving me to fend for myself for months at a time.He is very controlling women he is at home. I grew up in a very strict Christan home where i WAS TAUGHT THAT THE MAN IS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE. and the woman is obedient to the man.So is there any hope for an obese woman who doesn't want to die young.

Hello there,

 

I'm new and so excited to be here. 

 

I have lost 30lbs, but the method I was using is not good for me.  I have multiple sclerosis and was on Atkins of all things.  Not to knock Atkins way of eating, but I recently found out that I should be basically eating at 'maintenance' levels *if* I'm to stay on Atkins. 

 

So how will I lose if I eat maintenance level?  I won't is the answer so I'm revamping my food consumption, portions, exercising mildly due to the disability that has seemed to plauge me but my spirits are high and I am looking forward to checking in often so that we can lift each other upwards and to our goals.

 

Best wishes to all,

Lyndamazed!

I'm 41 year old, Married I have 1 child a 6 year old daughter, I weigh over 300 lbs. And my daughter weighs over 100 lbs. I used to have an night mares when she was a infant that she would be crying wanting a Hershey bar I had in my hand and I would say no, no, no, baby I cant give it to you I don't want you to be fat like mommy, I would not give her cakes, cookies, nothing sweet or fattening then she went in for her 2 yr check up the Dr told me she was under weight I thought to my self "OH MY GOSH I AM DEPRIVING MY DAUGHTER BE CAUSE OF MY FEARS" I had mixed emotions so I started letting her have the cookies and cakes then she started sneaking in the refrigerator and I caught her sticking her hand in the butter and eating it plain, then the mayo, and peanut butter she had learned how to disable the alarm on the refrigerator I'm so worried about her I don't know if she is still sneaking in the refrigerator but I do know she claims she is hungry all the time I wish there was a way I could get her to understand but how can I do that when I don't understand and I do the same thing well, I don't stick my hand in the butter ha but I do over eat, I thought I did not have a problem till now. I have tried and it is just to hard I try walking my feet hurt so bad I cant stand it  I know some of it is the heal spur I am getting so stressed there are other things in my life and with it all it makes me crazy my mind don't work rite no more it has got to the point I am wondering if I am getting Alzheimer  I just cant function I know I should go to the DR but I cant afford it when I wake up in the morning I cant hardly move my bones and muscles hurt so bad I am the biggest I have ever been I have known energy I cant even clean my house I am in pain all the time I don't want my daughter to go threw this I am so scared and afraid it is to late for me but how can I help my daughter? Well, that is were I am now.

Hello,

 

You didn't tell the age of your daughter. I think it is very important that you start to work on yourself. Did you buy Dr. Phil's weight book? Diets don't work, this method really does!!! I'll introduce myself a bit to you: I"m a 40-year old man from the Netherlands and recently became a certfied stresscounsellor (I tell you this to let you know that you can reach goals if you're committed to it). I'm wheelchair bound but I don't let that stop me from reaching my goals. Like you, I struggle with weight. I'm about 200 pounds.

A little while ago I started working with the Ultimate Weight Solution. I have room again in my clothes now, however I still have a long way to go. Maybe we can be each other's buddies in this. You know what Dr. Phil says: get real about fat or you get real fat. That's a great phrase that is absolutely true.

The Dr. Phil method is NOT about will power, so don't let that stop you from working on your weight. What is your reason for over-eating? Think strongly about that and let's talk about it.

 

Jo

Thanks Jo,

 

A buddy is what I need, I can't talk to my family I find it makes it worse. My daughter is only 6 and she is losing some weight and we are working on her I believe she will be fine she is young but I do worried about me, I want to live to see her grow up and I am getting a little desperate I guess, I feel my body has taken it's toll. I have tried a lot of different things but like everything in my life, in the beginning I do good and them it just stops, for what reason? I don't know. I am realizing I have a problem and I don't know what else to do. My Aunt has Dr Phil's book she said she would lone it to me so I am going to get it and I hope I can finish reading it I am not much of a book reader I wish I was I would love to set down and read a good book and finish it. I have heard people that are Obese there is a reason I guess I have a lot of reason but I thought I have over come them and thought I concord a lot and I was proud of myself, see, My child life was not the best and if there is something eating at me I would like to find it and get rid of it "I AM SICK OF OVER EATING"  I feel terrible, lazy, and my self esteem has took a down words nose dive.  

 I just turned 50 on July 12 & I weigh 225.I use to weight 255 but lost 20 pound exercising & watching what I ate.But that was 2 years ago when I lost that.I've been maintaining since.
I've been under alot of stress the past 2 years.From Nov.,2002 to Nov.2003 my husband had several surgeries to repair a herniated disc , which didn't help,it left him with permanent nerve damage & left him in constant pain.He's in so much pain he can't work.So he has been on disability for about a year now.
I find myself eatting due to stress & sometimes when I'm bored. I'm trying to get out of that cycle but find it hard. I do exercise about an hour aday 5-6 days aweek. I have a hard time getting my eatting under control.There are days when I find myself feeling  so depressed that I don't feel like working out.
I plan to force myself to workout no matter how I feel emotionlly
Hope it works.

hiya hun. I like you eat when depressed/stressed and bored. Back in 2001 I weighed 215. My son was dx'd with cancer in August 2001 and was then put on anti depressants and gained ALOT of weight. I don't even dare step on a scale but I'm guessing I weigh 270. When my son was in the hospital each month I found that I could/would eat 3 times a day. Hey I liked the hospital food, lol! I'm still on anti depressants and trying to wean myself off of them. I've cut back on food intake the last couple weeks and I can tell I've lost a few pounds. Little things are easier to do after shedding a few pounds. I'm glad to hear that you force yourself to workout. I've been forcing myself to clean. That right now is about all I can handle. Like your husband I have back problems. I sweap my floors sitting in my chair that rolls. Pathetic I know.

well anyway, just wanted to say hi and i read your message. i've been a member here for some time but have never posted.

Take care,

From what you are telling me i strongly get the idea that you are ready to do the Dr. Phil program. But you have to take time for yourself to read it. Since the best gift you can give your daughter, is a healthy mother, you should do what is necessary to lose the weight. Reading the book is the first step you have to take. Remember, failing is not an option if you want to see your child grow up. Keep that in mind whenever you have the feeling that you put down the book forgood.

 I just read some of the posts on this board and I feel the pain you are in. I started the WLC at 360 lb. and found a wonderful support group right here on the Dr. Phil website. It's under "Message Boards" and then under "Weight Loss Challenge Discussions" with the WEIGHT topics you'll find if you scroll down on the Message Board page. We're the 9th board listed (as new boards get added, we may change to 10th, 11th, etc. as the boards are arranged alphabetically). I'm talking about the board called "200 pounds or more to lose".

We have people in our group in the 400s and 500s and most in the 300s when they started, but we also have some (a few) who did not have quite 200 to lose when they joined us but also had a very large amount to lose so they share those special challenges with us, especially facing a long-term program of weight loss (I'm talking 2, 3, 4 or more years to get to our goal). We would be so happy to have you come and join our group. We'll give you the loving support you need along the way, tips and hints to help you over the rough spots and an occasional kick in the pants if you need that too (gently, of course).

We, like many of the boards online, are mostly women, but there are a few guys who have joined us too and ALL are welcome. About the only restriction we have on our board is we request that members not use profanity and to not be critical of one another--we're all doing the best we can and we're there to HELP one another, not heap more criticism and judgment upon one another.

I hope to see you over on that board if you fit the criteria. You'll be so glad you came to join us.

Cherie

I am the very happy success story for gastric bypass and finally I can show you what it did for me.  It was March 30, 2001 and I weighed 260 pounds.  I was so ready to do this surgery that I would have done it with a 25% SURVIVAL chance.  A year later I was 120 pounds lighter, had stopped all high blood pressure medicine and my blood work and blood pressure were incredible.  I am 50 years old and married the most wonderful man on earth 3 years ago.  Thirty years of obesity and trying and failing at every diet imaginable brought me to this solution. May I suggest that if you consider it that when you look for a doctor, you find out how many patients he has lost.  The last time I checked my doctor who has been performing this surgery for at least 5 or 6 years has had NO DEATHS.  It's like anything else in life...check out their qualifications and their successes.  

 

I attended a seminar about a year ago with men and women in all stages of pre-op and post-op and there were a couple of guys that had lost 300 and 400 pounds!  I met a wonderful woman that had lost 238.  It was an incredible weekend.  I volunteer my time on a website hoping to guide others that are researching this surgery through their journey.