Quote From: ritehere I know that was days ago, but I've been gone.
Consider how long it took to gain the weight? Since you have lost weight before you know that it not only takes behavioral changes, but mental ones as well. 5 days is not very long.
I'm guessing something happened that sent you back to old habits and there you go! You now reflect the consequences of your everyday behavior. I'm right there with you, my size and shape is the consequences of the way I've been eating and drinking lately. How can I expect to look any different? I'm not a failure, I'm exactly what I've been working towards, the results of my eating and sedentary ways.
I'm going to relate some things that help me:
1. reframing comments or actions from your spouse and events around you.
2. putting yourself first when it comes to your goals
3. pinpointing what it was that sent you back to your old shape and size
When your husband says something like "do you really need that?" I'm guessing you feel judgment, then resentment for that judgment, and then you tell yourself something like "I can do whatever I want, I'm not a child!" or something to that affect.
I challenge you to look at the comment differently. Where is the truth that your husband is judging you? He knows how you struggled to lose the weight once before, he knows you are disappointed with yourself for gaining it back. He listens to your concerns about your weight and walks a tightrope of not knowing the correct thing to say to make you feel encouraged. So, maybe he didn't mean it as judgment, maybe he's not out to rub your face in your backsliding. Maybe this is his way of being "in your corner" only you don't recognize it because it's not your perception of that.
What you need to do is "reframe" the comment in your mind, so that you no longer perceive it as judgment but a loving "nudge" to get you to think about what you are about to do. (Which is to eat something that you will regret and beat yourself up for later.) He's trying to keep you from bad feelings about yourself.
By putting yourself first in regards to your goals, I mean stop trying to enlist your husband to exercise with you and then making him the excuse why you don't exercise--as in "I don't do it because I don't want to exercise alone!" If he doesn't want to, you will only make him frustrated with you. Find somebody else who is ready, willing, and able to get out there with you. Being an example is always a better way to inspire others to join. In the end, it's your body and your goal, you can get encouragement and advice from others, but you know that its YOUR actions that create the results. Same goes with your faulty thinking when it comes to "no time for yourself." Make the time. If you won't, who will? Once you commit to the concept that you CAN make time, you will stop focusing on "poor me" thoughts and find solutions to finding the time.
Pinpointing what put you in a tailspin is protection against having it occur again. So evidently you did everything right but there was something you neglected to learn. Maybe it was the fact that you had not truly accepted the fact that to stay slim is a lifelong habit. There is no going back to old habits once you have reached your goal because your old habits are what made you overweight to begin with. This is a lesson that many many people fail to accept, as statistics show. Don't be one of the ones that "doesn't get it." Or maybe you are an emotional eater and something happened that you were not ready to cope with, so reverted to old eating habits.
Whatever the reason, you have to find it and forgive yourself for it, and prepare yourself to deal with it, (because it WILL pop up again!) so you can resume progress.
Hope this helps.
Much needed input! I greatly thank you for it. I am still on my diet, but 1200 calories was too much to cut back to. so, i increased my calories to 1500 per day, and have done better. It doesn;t seem to leave me as hungry.You are right I guess he was trying to help me, I just couldn't see it. He has been quite a trooper in trying healthy foods that I prepare for me. I am the only one responsible for me....I get that. No more excuses! Just do it! harder some days than others, but it can be done. Thank you sooooooo much.
