After reading through the answers here, what I didn't hear said, was that NO ONE mentioned..NUTRITION! Too many childern are being diagnosed with ADD/ADHD these days. My son had been diagnosed with ADHD back in the 70's. I was told to NOT let him eat anything with sugar in it. Medication didn't work, only made him depressed, put weight on and lathargic. Finally, taking him for therapy and a bright young Psychiatrist told me this.....your son is very sensitive and is picking up on the negative feelings between you and your husband. He feels abandoned by his father. He asked for a meeting with his father and this is what the doctor told me........his father is totaly closed minded, he's a brick wall. So, you are going to have to raise your son as the only caretaker, give him loving support, guidance. He must go for therapy and I want a complete physical including an EEG, just to make sure there are no physical amnomalities. Ok, so take him to the hospital for a battery of tests, that lasted 4 hrs. The results..he was emotional immature, his age was 12 yrs but the tests came out that he was only emotional 8 yrs. AND his physical coordination was off. Now, what to do?
First , when I found out that his fathers words were...stop spoiling him , he neeeds a good beating; I divorced my husband. There were other factors in leaving the marriage but my son became a TOP PRiORITY. My son calmed down was happier, laughed more was easier to deal with, as long as he wasn't around his father. Unfortunely, he wasn't doing well in school, he wasn't learning. I was told he needed glasses. Only several years later, when I finally got tired of the "school system" in NYC, did I ask for a meeting with the School Board , as my son was not learning. I plead my case in front of two Child Psychiatrists, two Social workers and two Board members. Whalla! I get my son into a private school, where there are only seven childern to a class. He wasn't learing...again! They test him only to find that he was Dyslexic. Then my question.....when the hospital gave him a batteery of tests how come they didn't find out he was Dyslexic? They changed the way he learned and finally he was learning and became a wizz at math.
Once he finished school, his father had more influence with him and my son wanted to please his father. He talked my son into going into the service business instead of going to college. This was a disaster for my son, too much money to young, putting him in the fast lane, toward total destruction. I had it out with my former husband and asked him to talk with our son....his reply...he's just feeling his cheerios, leave him alone, he's mine now! Those words, dam near killed my son. My son spiralled down, too much money, to much alcohol, too many women, just too much of every thing. Nothing of which he was prepared for and by 27 was near death. Broken hearted, I told his father, you are a bad influence and you have to STOP destroying this boy, YOU are not his BUDDY, you are his FATHER. He finally did something and found a Theraputic Community, where my son stayed, became better adjusted for two and a half years.
What did my son learn..that his father was abusive, caustic and jealous of his own son. This turned my son around, he went off on his own, making his own way. He found a nice girl married, then his father died.
WELL,once his father died, my son rose as Phoneix from the ashes became his own man , became happier, had a son, is a good father, husband and provider. He bame wealthy in spirit.
The only problem I see is that he's driven to become wealthier...like I'll show my dad, that I'm not a LOSER. something his father told him all the time.
When my son married, he asked me to dance with him . We went to the middle of the dance floor and the musicains started to play " Wind Beneath My Wings". My son said this to me....Mom, I dedicate this song to you because if it weren't for you, staying the course, loving me unconditionaly, I wouldn't be here now! Thank you mom for never giving up on me...I love you, more than I can express! I put my head down and cried.
I tell this story, so, that all the parents can look at them selves, are your feeling, your emotions effecting your childern? Beside, the fact that there could be a chemical imbalance. did you take your child to a Holisistic professional. Does your child have allergies or Dyslexia? Leave NO stone unturned, YOU will find answers, all you have to do is "perservere" .
Maggie
They're rowdy, wild and uncontrollable. They have no respect for authority, demand what they want when they want it, and there's hell to pay when they don't get it. If bratty kids are ruining your world, Dr. Phil has advice on taking back parental control. His first guest, Tabitha, feels like she's living with an abusive man, but it's not her husband; it's her 6-year-old son, Justin. He says, 'I hate you' at least 40 times a day and threatens her with knives and lighters. Is Tabitha contributing to the chaos? Then, Shelley says that her defiant 18-year-old daughter, Mackenzie, is worse than a brat. She's a high school senior who stays out until 5:00 a.m., then cusses at her mom for waking her up to go to school. Is it too late for Mackenzie to change her ways? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
