I find it interesting that people who don't spank always assume an authoritative tone when they say things like, "Most parents spank in anger".
How do they know? Did they take a poll?
Abuse is done in anger. A spanking administered in anger is abuse.
A spanking administered properly is a powerful tool.
I never spanked my children in anger. Remember you mom or dad saying "Go to your room and wait for me." ? I always thought they did that on purpose to further rattle my little cage, but as a parent I learned there was a good reason that kids should "wait". Often times the parent needs to calm down!
I don't trust any parent who says, "i never get mad or frustrated with my kids." They're liars. EVERYONE does.
I hated giving a spanking, but if things got bad enough that it came down to this last resort, I had no choice. My children weren't spanked until they were old enough to know what was going on and why. Nor did I continue spanking after they were old enough to be punished in a different way, i.e. curtailing computer/tv time, etc.
But between ages 4 to about 7ish my children DID get spanked. The odd thing about it is, once you do it...you probably won't have to do it again. I can count on one hand the number of times I had to spank both my kids...that's BOTH of them on one hand.
After having them wait, I'd go into their rooms, explain to them why they were getting the spanking, administer the spanking, then leave them alone for about 15 minutes. Afterward, I'd return, tell them I loved them and give them a hug.
My kids are 15 and 13 now. We're very close. They do well in school, they've always been the well behaved kids and they're still reaping the benefits of being taught how to behave. They're always welcome in any home. They still get compliments from their friends' parents. They have the benefit of being able to establish good reputations for themselves and that's a valuable commodity.
I know it's awful to spank, but it's more awful for the parent than the child if done properly. And that's key...IT MUST BE DONE PROPERLY!!! I believe parents who refuse to spank even though no other form of punishment is working are being selfish. They're putting their own self image ahead of their child's needs.
One poster on this message board suggested that a child should be practically put in a padded room and allowed to expell his or her rage. Are you serious??? How is that training for real life? When are we, as adults, EVER allowed to give full sway to rage? That sounds like you think your kid is an animal incapable of learning to control his or her emotions. If they never learn to control themselves they'll be sorely out of step with society. I hope we can hold our children to higher standards.
They're rowdy, wild and uncontrollable. They have no respect for authority, demand what they want when they want it, and there's hell to pay when they don't get it. If bratty kids are ruining your world, Dr. Phil has advice on taking back parental control. His first guest, Tabitha, feels like she's living with an abusive man, but it's not her husband; it's her 6-year-old son, Justin. He says, 'I hate you' at least 40 times a day and threatens her with knives and lighters. Is Tabitha contributing to the chaos? Then, Shelley says that her defiant 18-year-old daughter, Mackenzie, is worse than a brat. She's a high school senior who stays out until 5:00 a.m., then cusses at her mom for waking her up to go to school. Is it too late for Mackenzie to change her ways? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
