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Topic : 07/10 Biggest Brats

Number of Replies: 254
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Created on : Thursday, July 06, 2006, 07:03:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
They're rowdy, wild and uncontrollable. They have no respect for authority, demand what they want when they want it, and there's hell to pay when they don't get it. If bratty kids are ruining your world, Dr. Phil has advice on taking back parental control. His first guest, Tabitha, feels like she's living with an abusive man, but it's not her husband; it's her 6-year-old son, Justin. He says, 'I hate you' at least 40 times a day and threatens her with knives and lighters. Is Tabitha contributing to the chaos? Then, Shelley says that her defiant 18-year-old daughter, Mackenzie, is worse than a brat. She's a high school senior who stays out until 5:00 a.m., then cusses at her mom for waking her up to go to school. Is it too late for Mackenzie to change her ways? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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July 7, 2006, 7:14 am CDT

Bratty grandson

I have a grandson that is a brat as well he is roudy, mouthy, disruptive, disrespectful and does what he wants when he wants.  I have watched him run his parents like a clock they will tell him to behave in some form of a verbal command but he ignores them.  I believe they just don't stand on their word when they tell him to behave and he knows there are no boundaries or reprecussions for his behaviour.   It isn't until they get really mad and take action that he realizes they mean business unfortunetly that is rare.  When he comes to our place it is like a tornado and I get stressed every time he comes because they don't make him mind.  His father is obvious and his mother is always sayind Denver stop or Denver don't which make absolutely no difference.  When he leaves  I am relieved he is gone not sad, most of the time I believe he just needs someone to follow up on their dicipline and teach him boundaries, but I don't see that happening any time soon.  

  

 
July 7, 2006, 10:57 am CDT

07/10 Biggest Brats

Quote From: heidiellen

I have a grandson that is a brat as well he is roudy, mouthy, disruptive, disrespectful and does what he wants when he wants.  I have watched him run his parents like a clock they will tell him to behave in some form of a verbal command but he ignores them.  I believe they just don't stand on their word when they tell him to behave and he knows there are no boundaries or reprecussions for his behaviour.   It isn't until they get really mad and take action that he realizes they mean business unfortunetly that is rare.  When he comes to our place it is like a tornado and I get stressed every time he comes because they don't make him mind.  His father is obvious and his mother is always sayind Denver stop or Denver don't which make absolutely no difference.  When he leaves  I am relieved he is gone not sad, most of the time I believe he just needs someone to follow up on their dicipline and teach him boundaries, but I don't see that happening any time soon.  

  

I think that's the problem with most parents, not neccessarilly the kids.  They say something, but don't follow through.  I see this all the time at the park or in the store.  You have to be firm.  When my son gets a time out, he gets a time out!  He doesn't come out when he want's he stays until I tell him he can come out.  It's usually three minutes or so.  And you know what?  He's more polite than most kids his age and older!  And he listens!   

  

It's so sad you can't enjoy your grandson because of his parents. 

 
July 8, 2006, 10:41 am CDT

for grandmother

Quote From: elffie

I think that's the problem with most parents, not neccessarilly the kids.  They say something, but don't follow through.  I see this all the time at the park or in the store.  You have to be firm.  When my son gets a time out, he gets a time out!  He doesn't come out when he want's he stays until I tell him he can come out.  It's usually three minutes or so.  And you know what?  He's more polite than most kids his age and older!  And he listens!   

  

It's so sad you can't enjoy your grandson because of his parents. 

Dear Grandmother,  When unruley grandchildren come to visit disipline them as if they are your own.  If there parents don't like it, tell them they must do it themselves.  But that you will not put up with rude, noisy, distructive children in your home.  After all, your home is your castle.
 
July 8, 2006, 12:11 pm CDT

Bratty Son

I have a nine year old son who is what some call a BRAT, When he is told no about anything he goes into a rage. When I say rage I mean he flips tables chairs,anything that will turn over.At four he was put in a time out for punching his sister in the stomach.He kicked out his window with his bare feet. So I know how this woman fells about her 6 year old .I lock my self in rooms to keep me safe.My son tells me he hates me he is going to kill me or anyone he is mad at. I have taken him to Doctors they say ADHD,Bipolar and quite a few other things. He is nine now and on 5 different kinds of meds. They helped but he still gets out of control.My husband and I enforce all discipline that does no good at all.I am so worried that one day he will hurt me or someone. I am scared that one day I will be visiting him in jail or worse that I will be putting flowers on his grave.
 
July 8, 2006, 1:36 pm CDT

Abuse takes many forms

  I firmly believe that allowing a child to think that he can disrespect his parents and others is a form of  child abuse.     

   

  It is more abusive than the spankings that are not in fashion at this time. He will go on through life wondering why he is not liked, invited, married, hired and otherwise welcomed into society.  Being permissive is not kind to a child at all.  You have to teach a child to be respectful from the beginning;  in the crib. The first lesson is sleeping through the night.  That is teaching basic respect for parents.  I'm sure you have never heard it referred to in that manner. You cannot wait until some magic age - 3? 4? 6? to begin socializing a child. You would train a dog better than that.    

  We owe children respect, too.  I definitely do not mean giving them everything 'I didn't have' and allowing them to dictate when, where, what and how life goes on around him.  We owe them the social skills to develop into useful, happy people.  'Tough love'  needs to happen from the start.  It's very hard when a 6 year old is laying in the floor at the grocery store kicking and screaming  or a teenager who's unsocialized behavior has landed him in jail or worse.     

   

  And, Dr. Phil, a spanking never hurts unless it is never given.  I spanked each of my very active sons very seldom and all they needed for the most part  was a firm reminder and/or time out. They never said, 'I hate you'  or thru  tantrums after they passed the terrible 2's.  Bottom line they have to know that you mean what you say the first time you say it.   My boys are grown now and I have asked each one if there is something that happened in the past that we need to talk about and maybe I need to apologize for. (Did I get that from your show or Oprah?  :) )  They never mentioned spanking only curfews and onions in my cooking.  They are good men of whom I am very proud..   

 
July 8, 2006, 3:49 pm CDT

Dear Grandmother

Quote From: coppermous

Dear Grandmother,  When unruley grandchildren come to visit disipline them as if they are your own.  If there parents don't like it, tell them they must do it themselves.  But that you will not put up with rude, noisy, distructive children in your home.  After all, your home is your castle.

Have you had a chance to talk about your grandson's behaviour with his parents?  That may be a starting point.  I also have a child that does not really rule the roost but has difficult behaviours, any extra help that I can get with him I gladly take.  I have also had my son  checked by many doctors to see if there are underlying problems which they say there are and I am not surprised .  Maybe your grandson has some problems that have never been looked at?  Just a suggestion, I know how difficult it can be as a parent but have also been empathetic to the other side also.  We do not have any grandparents  that can help as my family lives far away.  Anyways I hope it works out for both sides because in the end you want your grandson to get the benefits from being with his grandmother, but yet learn that what people say to means business. I could use some help with that also for my son.  

Nicole  

 
July 8, 2006, 4:40 pm CDT

Hellion needs to get some work done

I'm not a parent so I'm not an expert on raising kids.  But it seems they need a job to do.  A physical workout wouldn't hurt either.  Put them to work.  If they're angry, find out why but don't assume they are mature enough to know why they are angry.  Teach them that self control is a good thing.  If they have something to be angry about, it has more effect if they can control themselves until they have the opportunity to let everyone know why they are angry.  If they're just being a pain, then they aren't physically working hard enough. This will use all the energy they have been using to be a brat, and they won't have time to be a brat.  Give them jobs to do, (or no allowance, or no whatever.)   

   

When they act bad, give them more work to do, make them do push ups, or run around the block, or paint the fence or something.   Their attitude will change when they don't have lots of energy to put into it.  

 
July 8, 2006, 4:44 pm CDT

07/10 Biggest Brats

it might seem like the kids that act like this are "bad kids" . no they're not. they're just misguided. they need someone to streighten them out. no child likes the feeling of hatred. we need to look at who and how they are being raised.
 
July 8, 2006, 4:46 pm CDT

out of control children

 YOUR CHILDREN ARE OUT OF CONTROL AND SPANKING THEM IS NOT THE ANSWER. THIS ONLY TEACHES THEM VIOLENT IS ALRIGHT TO DO . IT ALSO TEACHES THEM THAT I"M BIGGER THAN YOU SO THEREFORE I CAN HURT YOU. WHAT THESE PARENTS NEED TO DO IS FIND A TIMEOUT AREA FOR THE UNRULY CHILD AND LET THEM PITCH THEIR FITS OF RAGE IN A PLACE WERE THEY CANNOT HURT THEMSELVES OR ANYONE ELSE.. GIVE THEM WHEN THE CALM DOWN COTTON BALLS AND A SMALL BASKETBALL HOOP THAT YOU MAKE OUT OF CARD BOARD TO TAKE OUT THAT RAGE ON.DEPENDING ON THE AGE OF THE CHILD OF COURSE.HITTING, SPANKING,ONLY ADDS FUEL ON THE FIRE THAT IS IN THEM.YOU THE PARENT MUST ALWAYS STAY IN CONTROL. WHEN YOU GIVE UP CONTROL ON ANY CHILD YOU REAP THE RESULTS. TIMEOUT AREA MUST HAVE SOFT PILLOWS, A MAT OR CARPET NO TOYS. OR YOU CAN EVEN HAVE A MATTRESS ON THE FLOOR. FOR THE CHILD OR CHILDREN MUST BE ON.
 
July 8, 2006, 4:48 pm CDT

Why do you tolerate bullies"

 Yes indeed your grandson is a brat..and so are his parents.  Maybe you can't do anything about their behavior...but you can take a stand and refuse to be treated with disrepect and rudeness.  IAs parents, our  job is to civilize and socialize our children, and his parents have let him dowo.  Would you let anyone else come into your home and treat you that way?  By putting up with it, you are giving a message that you'll just sit there and let it happen.
 
You need to tell them that you will not allow them to visit you until it can be a mutually pleasant experience.  What possible good are their visits doing now?  And don't fall into that trap of "but they're my family".  The best thing you can do for all of you is refuse to be a part of this miserable situation.  Perhaps (and maybe not) if the parents realize they aren't welcome in people's home, they will be motivated to make changes.  But even if they never make changes, you can protect yourself from such rude and miserable behavior.
 
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