Quote From: Pleasanceyou are a beautiful and intelligent woman--and you do have options....you have so much more power than you realize.
What do you mean when you said...everyone told me half of this and half of that.....oh, I can guess...you are entitled to 1/2 of everything.....well.....let me see......from your profile.....your state is an equitable distribution state.
Actually EQUITABLE DISTRIBUTION MEANS FAIR AND EQUITABLE DISTRIBUTION DETERMINED BY THE COURTS....THAT MEANS YOU COULD ACTUALLY END UP WITH MORE THAN 1/2 IF IT IS DETERMINED SO.
You are entitled to your share of all property, assets and pensions, etc.....the length of your marriage is in your favor......there are many factors that can work in your favor.
Even if things weren't titled or jointly held in your name also....they are your assets, too.
I'm not so sure you OWED on everything...some of that explanation comes from him, doesn't it?
You can look like you owe on paper for write offs....and still own plenty !!!!
Accounting, laws, and taxes.
You are protected with the law-----you are the spouse. If he were to sell the house and hide the funds....that can be uncovered....the real estate transfers give that info....it s public information and recorded. He has to be honest as the taxes will be due......and profits must show....difference between mortgages and what it sells for.....the rest is equity or profit.
Funds that he invests in have paper trails....or trails and account info.....that are traceable with social security number....etc.
If he would take it out lickety split and put it in someone else's name.....its traceable....as deductions are traceable....transfers are traceable and even if someone else's name is "dumb enough" to be used.....that is traceable....as $$ amounts over a certain amount have to be reported when accounts are invested and or banked.
He is bound by laws to provide all accurate and truthful accounts when and if he is deposed.
You can build your own credit history.
You do have assets now....whether or not you believe that now.
This abuse of his is not going to stop....he is temporarily in the "honeymoon stage" or the peaceful stage.....of the abuse cycle.....but it will end.....he will choose to end the phase and it will go into the tension building stage again.......then you know what comes next......the "blow up."
Then we go round and round again.
This is a long long time to have been abused.....you seem to be accepting it....not thinking that you have any options.
Please seek counseling for yourself.
Please call a Domestic Abuse hot-line for some resources and information.....a "support group"
I care.
Posting further on the abuse board to you.
Please continue to post there.
Thanks for caring!!!! Finally someone that understands. My kids don't. The oldest does say she will NEVER marry....that men are horrilbe. She is 31 now. Sad huh?
He did take one of OUR joint CDs when we separated 5 years ago and put it in our Grandsons name....so no one can "touch" it. He has other CDs in HIS NAME. Checking account, and a Savings Acct. He did have the Credit Union Account (HIS only)....then took it and put it in and Funds thing. Where you are penalized if you take it out too soon......Ha...It is for "retirement".....silly....he has a retirement plan....at his job....401k or something. Now he has Invested HIS Credit Union Account......so I suppose if i went after it the man would call him.......haahahhahah. If "I" wanted it, I would let a lawyer go after it and the man couldnt do a darn thing..........
I dont like playing games. I am not lookin for a divorce. I just want to be TREATED right. And The next time he comes up with "I dont treat him fairly becuse he makes the living" I want to know how to handle it. I want to have some "intelligence" on WHAT to say.
Thanks again!
Do you and your spouse constantly fight over money? The battle over the buck is causing friction for Dr. Phil's guests. Chere says her husband, Clint, watches their finances so closely, he makes her account for every cent spent — down to a pack of chewing gum. Clint says he has to be tight with the wallet, or they would be broke. Is Clint justified or is he using money to dominate? Then, meet a wife who has already filed for divorce because she's tired of carrying her husband's financial baggage, including paying his child support payments. Should she go through with the divorce or will her husband learn to change his ways. Can these marriages be saved?
