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Topic : 07/12 A Predator in the House?

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Created on : Thursday, July 06, 2006, 07:05:33 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The FBI estimates that there is one child molester per square mile in the United States. Could that predator be in your home?  Could it be your husband, your father, or your trusted friend? Kitty considers reconciling with her ex-husband, James, but worries that he may have inappropriately touched his 15-year-old daughter. James says he’s just showing love and affection toward his child, but Kitty is making him look like a pervert. Is Kitty overreacting, or is James crossing the line? Then, Trista’s ex-boyfriend, Aaron, has been accused of molestation by her 5-year-old female cousin. Aaron says he is completely innocent and will do anything to prove it. Trista has trouble believing him, and refuses to reconcile until she knows the truth. Plus, Elizabeth says her husband of nearly 20 years destroyed a once normal life when he used their 8-year-old daughter, Emily, as bait to molest her young male friends. Now that he’s in prison, Elizabeth is faced with challenging questions from her daughter. Is your child being groomed by a pedophile? Join the discussion.

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July 24, 2006, 8:09 pm CDT

PARENTS & DESTRUCTIVE FAMILIES

There are families that are so destructive that the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Some of my favorite books which provide a great introduction into the subject of family systems and dysfunctions are:    

   

The Narcissistic Borderline Couple by Joan Lachkar    

   

Malignant Self Love:  Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin    

   

Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson   

   

As painful as it may be, make a promise to yourself to leave so that you can begin a life of healing and recovery so you can eventually learn to live a joyful and peaceful life.     

   

Hope it helps!    

   

 
July 24, 2006, 10:25 pm CDT

Questioning Abuse

I allow my 4 year old son to see his father every other weekend.  I have primary custody of my child, but desire to allow him to know his father, even though his father is not consistent in taking him even every other weekend.  I could go on and on about the last four years, but what has transpired recently is my biggest concern.   

A couple of nights ago, I decided to let my son sleep in my bed (he does occassionally).  He asked me to take off my shirt, underwear, and shorts and kiss (my boyfriend's name).  I asked him, "What?  Who does that?"  He replied, "Daddy and (his girlfriend's name) do.  They take off their shirts, their underwear, and their pants and they hug and they kiss and go like this (thrust his hips a few times).  I then gently and CALMLY asked him where this happened and he said "daddy's house".  I asked where and he said "on the couch" and that he was also on the couch and his girlfriend told my son to "shut up".     

I confronted his father about this and of course he adamently denies it and goes on and on that I'm just making this up so I can take him away from him and have "control" .  I've dealt with a lot of crap from him over the past 8 years and I don't trust him anyway.  I'm so afraid that I'm not going to be strong enough to protect my son.....I can't hardly believe that they would have sex in front of my child.  I  have always been leery of my son's father, as he told me years ago that he was molested by a family member of his, but never said who.  He also has a history of heavy drug use, though has cleaned up in the past 1-2 years.   

I need to know I'm doing the right thing.  I need support and strength.  Any advice out there would be greatly appreciated.   

 
July 24, 2006, 11:19 pm CDT

my dear, one should never pawn off god as being a so called god

Quote From: sinfulyd

A child can NOT make it up!  

It also depends on how old the child is and IF they were coached by someone! 

If he is in prison for life....then there MUST be a good reason! There had to be PROOF on this one, period! 

Predators & Pedophiles etc. are absolutely superb liars! Even THEY think they are innocent until the day they die!  

And "DITTO" when THEY meet THEIR so called God they will wish they had not done it at all either! 

What line of DUNG is being fed on this one!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

you must remember, jesus was nailed to a cross, and may i ask you for what crime did he ever commit, other than healing the sick and crippled i know of none, yes innosent people do in deed get convicted when they have done nothing wrong,as i said not every one clamming to be innosent are but alot in fact are, you would relly be surprised at just how guilty a lawyer can and dose make people look to a jury, ive seen it with my very eyes, and yes a young child can be coached by a lawyer and a vindective parent to make even you look guilty of the very same crime, so dont be quite so fast to sit thear and say it dosent happen! ive seen it for myself, and it dose,
 
July 25, 2006, 3:14 am CDT

Guilt

Quote From: bellyjeans

Last year I found out that my daughter and husband had a thing going on while I was working. He was 52 and she was 17. I don't know the whole story but have lived thru hell the past year. You see it all came out when my daughter ended up pregnant by her step dad. I won't go into all the nasty details but I just couldn't live with the thought of it and I turned my husband in to social services. He is now in prison he got 13 years but only has to serve 2 because she testified it was consentual.I haven't spoke to either one for over a year now. He has tried numerous times but I refuse to speak to him. She ran away when  I found out she was pregnant, and she hasn't tried to make contact with me since. The saddest part is my 10 year old son, he now has another sister that is by his half sister and his dad is in prison. We live in a small town and everyone knows about it, some people back me and some shun me for what I did( turning him in) I really don't care what they think, I just know that I couldn't live with what my husband told me ( it nearly made me lose my mind) and I just did what I felt I had to do for myself and my family. It's been a tough year for me and my  family but we do all we can to continue to live with all that's happened.  

Please...please...please....try not to lay any guilt on yourself for "turning him in"!  

You did not cause it period! You did what you HAD to do! 

My circumstances were different but the result the same....guilt feeling til I die!  

I'm the outcast...black sheep of the family!  

I've "disowned" all but one cousin in the family.....all I have is my dogs that loves me for who I am. 

Could you have lived better by not turning it in? 

When your son gets old enough he will understand....like we all did as kids once when we didn't understand why. 

Remember your are not alone in this.....plus you may have saved some poor innocent from harm by doing what you needed to do. 

 
July 25, 2006, 6:39 am CDT

07/12 A Predator in the House?

Quote From: krisena

I allow my 4 year old son to see his father every other weekend.  I have primary custody of my child, but desire to allow him to know his father, even though his father is not consistent in taking him even every other weekend.  I could go on and on about the last four years, but what has transpired recently is my biggest concern.   

A couple of nights ago, I decided to let my son sleep in my bed (he does occassionally).  He asked me to take off my shirt, underwear, and shorts and kiss (my boyfriend's name).  I asked him, "What?  Who does that?"  He replied, "Daddy and (his girlfriend's name) do.  They take off their shirts, their underwear, and their pants and they hug and they kiss and go like this (thrust his hips a few times).  I then gently and CALMLY asked him where this happened and he said "daddy's house".  I asked where and he said "on the couch" and that he was also on the couch and his girlfriend told my son to "shut up".     

I confronted his father about this and of course he adamently denies it and goes on and on that I'm just making this up so I can take him away from him and have "control" .  I've dealt with a lot of crap from him over the past 8 years and I don't trust him anyway.  I'm so afraid that I'm not going to be strong enough to protect my son.....I can't hardly believe that they would have sex in front of my child.  I  have always been leery of my son's father, as he told me years ago that he was molested by a family member of his, but never said who.  He also has a history of heavy drug use, though has cleaned up in the past 1-2 years.   

I need to know I'm doing the right thing.  I need support and strength.  Any advice out there would be greatly appreciated.   

 
July 25, 2006, 6:56 am CDT

CHILD SEXUAL PREDATORS NEXT DOOR

The Salt Lake Tribune 07/25/06  - Salt Lake City, UTAH     

   

Destiny found dead 

Police arrest a man living next door   

   

Eight days after 5-year-old Destiny Norton disappeared from her front yard, police discovered her body in the basement of a man who lives next door.  


Gregerson a 20 year old man, was arrested and booked into the Salt Lake County Jail on Monday night on suspicion of homicide.    


After Salt Lake City police Chief Chris Burbank made the announcement, a crowd of about 200 gathered outside Destiny's home near 700 South and 500 East, where police were still present and yellow tape sealed off the yard and driveway. Some residents questioned how the search for the girl could have gone so wrong, and how investigators could have missed something so close.    

   

  

 

   

 

   

 
July 25, 2006, 6:57 am CDT

You need to report it

Quote From: krisena

I allow my 4 year old son to see his father every other weekend.  I have primary custody of my child, but desire to allow him to know his father, even though his father is not consistent in taking him even every other weekend.  I could go on and on about the last four years, but what has transpired recently is my biggest concern.   

A couple of nights ago, I decided to let my son sleep in my bed (he does occassionally).  He asked me to take off my shirt, underwear, and shorts and kiss (my boyfriend's name).  I asked him, "What?  Who does that?"  He replied, "Daddy and (his girlfriend's name) do.  They take off their shirts, their underwear, and their pants and they hug and they kiss and go like this (thrust his hips a few times).  I then gently and CALMLY asked him where this happened and he said "daddy's house".  I asked where and he said "on the couch" and that he was also on the couch and his girlfriend told my son to "shut up".     

I confronted his father about this and of course he adamently denies it and goes on and on that I'm just making this up so I can take him away from him and have "control" .  I've dealt with a lot of crap from him over the past 8 years and I don't trust him anyway.  I'm so afraid that I'm not going to be strong enough to protect my son.....I can't hardly believe that they would have sex in front of my child.  I  have always been leery of my son's father, as he told me years ago that he was molested by a family member of his, but never said who.  He also has a history of heavy drug use, though has cleaned up in the past 1-2 years.   

I need to know I'm doing the right thing.  I need support and strength.  Any advice out there would be greatly appreciated.   

First go to Social Services and tell them about the incident. They may, or may not, do something about it. Each state has its own laws. But at least you have proof you did not let it go unreported. 

If happened to me...I would not let him take the child on weekends...and if he takes me to court I would say why I refuse to allow him to do so. The bottom line is: IT's INAPPRORIATE FOR A CHILD TO WITNESS A SEXUAL ACT BETWEEN ADULTS. 

 
July 25, 2006, 3:20 pm CDT

Are you nuts?

Quote From: fabrat

Wow, that was pretty harsh. I'm not saying I agree with what she did but we all have to remember that until we walk in their shoes we don't really understand. If you have never had to face living on the streets or believeing a molesters lies then how can you REALLY know what you would do??? You can say that you know all you want but until you come face to face with a molester and hear how they can dish out the sweet talk well you just don't know. And as far as God is concerned how do you think he would feel about you judging another person the way you just did.
i'm not judging...i'm simply reacting to what she wrote...and yeah i dont live on the streets, never have and no..i've never been molested or even know anyone who has...but...i would know what to do if that was my situation, but..of course being me, i would never let it happened...it's sick..i stand by what i wrote..if you knew someone was a convicted child molester...then why would you let him into your life?  And now your the one judging me....sorry if i have morals and put my kids first...and want then protected...too many parents dont parent...too many parents should not be...makes me sick...i guess since i live in canada we dont see the nasty things you guys do....sorry if i sound mean, but...i'm a parent of 4 kids...6, 5, 3, and 4 months....and i'm there for them no matter what..and i never leave my kids alone with anyone...more moms  should cut their budgets and stay home with their kids.  Love is what all kids need, i guess that why mine are soo happy!
 
July 25, 2006, 5:52 pm CDT

the cops and cps did nothing!

I thought I stopped my ex. I turned over the emails to cps and the cops where he admits to penetration of him and his fiancess 6 month old baby boy. The last I heard cps was investigation and the detectives where seizing his comp. I thought the emails would show he is more than just a level 1 pedophile. The cps case was closed today. The detective wont call me back and my ex's web page says he now lives in CO! I was raped a few years back by a man who had sex with an underage girl and was a felon from it. He held me for 2 days at knifepoint, I had a baby from iit. finally after 2 years we were supposed to go to court, the prosecuter offered him a plea. ABDUCTION! he only got that felony not 5 counts of rape or the abdutions(2) which happened on 2 seperate days. I give up, the legal system is a joke. When you ask yourself how molestations happen well simple. I dont now if people know this  but pedophiles are all around. If a guy has a level one(say he tried to get a kid to give him oral sex but she says no) he pleas gulity..he has no prior offences he probably wont serve jail, like my ex he will get 2 years of supervised probation(the whole time he was making babies and seeing them with this woman he is with now.  He was supposed to have 3 years unsupervised probation but didnt get it.  I cannot believe they can get away with the stuff they do. I had a daughter and a son taken form me in court over lies about me(no proof) to their dad(a different guy) I still have 2 of my daughters. All cps is good for is taking kids from homes where they are loved and looking the other way when there is real abuse going on.
 
July 25, 2006, 8:54 pm CDT

07/12 A Predator in the House?

Quote From: michelle_5

First go to Social Services and tell them about the incident. They may, or may not, do something about it. Each state has its own laws. But at least you have proof you did not let it go unreported. 

If happened to me...I would not let him take the child on weekends...and if he takes me to court I would say why I refuse to allow him to do so. The bottom line is: IT's INAPPRORIATE FOR A CHILD TO WITNESS A SEXUAL ACT BETWEEN ADULTS. 

I did report the incident and they told me that it may or may not be followed up on.  I know I need to stay strong and defend my innocent child.  He is at a very impressional age.  His father tried to make up a bunch of excuses why my son would have said that, such as 'he caught me and my boyfriend so I'm trying to cover my own acts and brainwash my son into thinking it was his dad' or he must have seen something and just put his and his girlfriend's name into it.  He also made a bunch of comments about how kids that age are curious and start figuring that stuff out, that he himself started humping on girls when he was that age, that his girlfriend's neices and nephews are always checking each others private parts when they are together in the bathroom.  He actually thinks that what my son did is a NORMAL thing!  He is only FOUR years old!  Granted I have seen my son touching himself in a 'curious' manner...but to tell me that 'humping' is natural for a four year old boy?  He's not a dog!  He's also denying that he was every molested now.  Thanks for your comment!
 
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