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Topic : 07/12 A Predator in the House?

Number of Replies: 476
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Created on : Thursday, July 06, 2006, 07:05:33 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The FBI estimates that there is one child molester per square mile in the United States. Could that predator be in your home?  Could it be your husband, your father, or your trusted friend? Kitty considers reconciling with her ex-husband, James, but worries that he may have inappropriately touched his 15-year-old daughter. James says he’s just showing love and affection toward his child, but Kitty is making him look like a pervert. Is Kitty overreacting, or is James crossing the line? Then, Trista’s ex-boyfriend, Aaron, has been accused of molestation by her 5-year-old female cousin. Aaron says he is completely innocent and will do anything to prove it. Trista has trouble believing him, and refuses to reconcile until she knows the truth. Plus, Elizabeth says her husband of nearly 20 years destroyed a once normal life when he used their 8-year-old daughter, Emily, as bait to molest her young male friends. Now that he’s in prison, Elizabeth is faced with challenging questions from her daughter. Is your child being groomed by a pedophile? Join the discussion.

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July 9, 2006, 10:36 am CDT

Don't Do It!!

As an individual who was molested as a child by my step father, I say this mother should really listen to that warning inside her that is causing her to hesitate accepting her husband back. That doubt is telling her something. It isn't the mother who will pay for that decision it is ultimately the daughter who will pay. It will damage her for the rest of her life. And it will damage the mother/daughter relationship, and also add a level of distrust on the daughters part. Please tell this mother to think first of her daughter.  

   

 
July 9, 2006, 10:47 am CDT

R U N Sane?

Quote From: willhelp

Everyone needs to realize that there is another side to this story. Not everyone who is accused is a child molester. You need to get the facts before you go and start assuming that your husband or boyfriend did this. If they have no criminal history and are good up standing citizens and are over the age of 30, they are probably innocent. The world we live in today encourages people to accuse some one of this unspeakable. Please don't misunderstand. Real GUILTY child molesters, need to be locked away for life! But get all the facts. My  fiancee sits in prison, innocent, sentenced for life and convicted of molestation. It takes no proof. If you have a child who wants to get back at a family member, this is the way to do it.  please, take heart and be sure you have all the facts before you condemn the accused 

 No criminal history! That is what makes a preditor a preditor! Being discreet enough all the time not to get caught! Upstanding citizen! Exactly what is that to you? Someone who has a outstanding number of friends or links to politicians? Or is it someone that can conceal their most darkest secrets so well that they fool everyone around them? Over the age of 30---What the he__ does that mean? Does that mean that if they can make it to the age of 30 without being caught they are slick enough to make it through the rest of their lives uncaught? In case you have not figured it out, there is no probably innocent when it comes to altering a childs life for the rest of their life. The world we live in today is unlike the world was 20 years ago where children were not to speek of unspeakable acts against them. Todays world, children are encouraged to come forth with the unspeakable. It is called protecting themselves and others from the unspeakable. Proof---If an adult is responsable enough, they will not allow themselves to be put in a situation to have accusations made against them. Your fiancee sits in prison innocent (were you there when the act was supposely accured)(now that is a probably not)---Do you have children with this person?

I know you do not care....But you have struck a nerve!!!
I am a 33 year old women whom was molested and nearly raped when I was 11 years old by a 52 year old man whom was an very upstanding citizen and my Daddys best friend! 20 years ago, no matter how much proof a child had, it did not matter, if a man was a  upstanding citizen, a childs words and proof was no match for such a upstanding citizen.  I am  appaled that some people still believe that children just ramble on about such unspeakable acts. Does people still really think children dream this kind of stuff up?
 
July 9, 2006, 10:49 am CDT

Predator in the home

This is frustrating because my cousin was sexually molested by her step-father at age 9 through 12 yrs. I was recently advised of this about a few months ago. She is now 19 yrs old & is seeing a therapist. Unfortunately statutes of limitations ran out & she is now trying to live her life. The sad part about her story is that her mom DOES NOT & WILL NOT believe her or supports her in anyway. My cousin lives in Jersey & her mom moved to Las Vegas with her pedophile stepfather & half brother. When she told her mom her mom told her ''Why are YOU doing this to ME?'' so my bitch of an aunt hasn't spoken to her daughter since. Eventually my aunt got the family not to speak to my cousin. My mom doesn't even believe her but yet she didn't support me when I told her I was raped at 16. Our family sucks & it's such a shame & an outrage. I have children of my own & I will always be their support NO MATTER WHAT!
 
July 9, 2006, 11:52 am CDT

you are so wrong

Quote From: willhelp

Everyone needs to realize that there is another side to this story. Not everyone who is accused is a child molester. You need to get the facts before you go and start assuming that your husband or boyfriend did this. If they have no criminal history and are good up standing citizens and are over the age of 30, they are probably innocent. The world we live in today encourages people to accuse some one of this unspeakable. Please don't misunderstand. Real GUILTY child molesters, need to be locked away for life! But get all the facts. My  fiancee sits in prison, innocent, sentenced for life and convicted of molestation. It takes no proof. If you have a child who wants to get back at a family member, this is the way to do it.  please, take heart and be sure you have all the facts before you condemn the accused 

you are the girl who just doesnt want to believe that the love of your life could do something like that, well, people are not what they seem, no matter how old or what history they have, no matter what type of UP standing citizen they are!! get a clue lady.
 
July 9, 2006, 12:04 pm CDT

get away now

Quote From: susanlynne

My husband and I have been separated for 3 years.  I am still trying to get a divorce from him.  About 5 years ago, I caught my husband in the bed with our 5 year old daughter wearing nothing but his underwear(briefs).  I confronted him and told him to never do that again.  He really showed no emotion what so ever about the situation.  About 2 weeks later, I caught him again in her bed with nothing again but his underwear and this time my daughter's door was almost shut.  Keep in mind that he got out of the marital bed to go to her bed, both times, in the early morning hours (5-6 am).  Since then there have been several "red flags" that could indicate something's not just right.  Most recently, I had to take my daughter 2 different times to the doctor for irritations in private areas after visitation with her father.  My daughter cries when it's time to go to my husband's for visitation.  She really doesn't want to go.  Also, my daughter has lied about sleeping in her father's bed.  My son told me the truth. She has only lied about that one time.  My worry is I don't know if it is still happening or not.  My son really doesn't comment that much anymore.  There are just so many different things that have happened that has created serious concerns about my husband and daughter.  I just wish I knew the truth.   
keep your little girl away, your gut feeling is always right, and those things are not normal
 
July 9, 2006, 4:00 pm CDT

behind closed doors

I grew up listening to my sister being molestered by my father at night  time in our room then he started getting quite confident and starting molestering her during the day as well.   Also our babysitter ( a teenage neighbour) was molestering my brother, sister and myself.  Pedafiles dont walk around and carry a sign, they range from an average joe to a well respected person in your community, and one thing I have learned is to never let my guard down with anyone when it comes to the safety of my children. 
 
July 9, 2006, 4:02 pm CDT

Be The One Who Stops It

I was molested by my father a year before he abandoned us and then after he left, my brother picked up where he left off for several years.  I tried on a few occassions to tell my mother, but she was so wrapped up with her own problems, she would just brush off what was told to her.  I DID NOTHING.  I managed to survive.  Although I suffered thru many years of depression and suicidal thoughts, I still managed to meet a wonderful man and we married and had a daughter.  When she was four, she described to me how her and my brother's (the one who molested me) son (14 yrs old) had oral sex.  She was very detailed in her story which left no room for doubt that she had truly experienced this.  I love my nephew, but I reported this to child protective services because I knew that nothing would be done by my brother.  The reason it was reported to child protective services was because it happened at my mother's home while she was babysitting.  From there, a DA referral was made.  When my brother was told that this happened, he told me that I was just trying to get him back for the past and that this was not true.  The family is now furious with me and my brother told me that me and my brat are dead to him.  Although my child on separate occassions told me, my husband, the social worker, and the DA the same story, because we would not put her on the stand to testify at 4yrs old, nothing was done about it.  I'm so angry at my family for beleiving that a four year old could make this up that there is no way forgiveness is even possible.  So please, do something if you are a victim to stop it from happening to the next generation.  Possibly even your children.
 
July 9, 2006, 5:09 pm CDT

Please!!

Quote From: willhelp

Everyone needs to realize that there is another side to this story. Not everyone who is accused is a child molester. You need to get the facts before you go and start assuming that your husband or boyfriend did this. If they have no criminal history and are good up standing citizens and are over the age of 30, they are probably innocent. The world we live in today encourages people to accuse some one of this unspeakable. Please don't misunderstand. Real GUILTY child molesters, need to be locked away for life! But get all the facts. My  fiancee sits in prison, innocent, sentenced for life and convicted of molestation. It takes no proof. If you have a child who wants to get back at a family member, this is the way to do it.  please, take heart and be sure you have all the facts before you condemn the accused 

Please don't assume because a suspect is over 30, has had no criminal history, and are over the age of 30 (ha ha) that they are innocent.  What about priests, police officers, and church officials who molest children.  The person who molested my daughter has no criminal history for the crime he committed against her because she was only four years old and was too scared to sit in the court room and testify if front of a lot of people.  What about the victims who never tell on the fine upstanding citizens because they some how feel it's they're fault and don't want to cause any problems.  Or may be they were threatened in some way by these fine outstanding citizens.  If every child molester was some how miraculously convicted of their crimes, you would probably be suprised at the number, their age, and the fine upstanding citizens they are!!!
 
July 9, 2006, 8:51 pm CDT

It is NOT your fault

Quote From: anxious316

  I was molested by my grandma when I was 14 I thought it was my fault so I suppressed in my memory one day it all came back to me rock hard before I remembered I used to take care of my grandma then I stopped taking care of her 6 months later she died my mom knew what she did to me and on the night grandma died mom had the audacity to ask me why I stopped taking care of her I was oon the phone with a friend telling her that grandma died and I was crying I heard mom saying listen to her pretend she's crying then a few months after that mom came with me to a therapy session she told him that I was lying there was no molestation I was so furious over it when we got home I heard her telling my sister I told him it never happened this all happened in 98 why can't I get past it?

I have never been molested, but my dad abuses me, and looks at my sisters inappropiatly, plus he also masterbates while looking at porn. molested is a big deal, and when u went to a therapist, but they do not believe you I understand fully on how furious you got. My counselor will not help me or get me a restraining order, and my dad goes against me, soo in a way, we are kind of inthe same boat. THat was a horrible thing that happened to you, and you will never get past it. But, i am all for you, i think that you did the right thing by not taking care of your grandma. You and me both grew/grow in a home where the parents/adults are mentally messed up. Just be glad you can get out of the house! Well, talk to someone, and ask for guidence. 

  

~ Good Luck 

 
July 9, 2006, 8:57 pm CDT

07/12 A Predator in the House?

Quote From: kilahsmom

you are the girl who just doesnt want to believe that the love of your life could do something like that, well, people are not what they seem, no matter how old or what history they have, no matter what type of UP standing citizen they are!! get a clue lady.

no body would make somthing like that up. A child molester DOES in fact make them look good, its all in the game..if they are great citizens and wonderful people, then no one would ever think that they would do such a thing, so they would not be noticed. Get over it, and do not marry this you know what. he will only hurt you and your kids, if you have any. STAY AWAY..think clearly!  

 
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