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Topic : 07/13 Online Dating

Number of Replies: 365
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Created on : Thursday, July 06, 2006, 07:06:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Meeting the love of your life in a bar is no longer the only option. Every month, 61 million people log on to try online dating. So why is Dr. Phil's first guest, Deb, having such a hard time? She says she's a dating disaster and can't figure out why she only gets losers in her inbox. Some online dating experts take a look at her profile to see what she's doing wrong. Then, Jeanne hasn't been on a date in over 20 years and says she's scared to death to try online dating. Dr. Phil goes over some cyber safety tips from his book, Love Smart. Plus, a unique first date that doesn’t include dinner and drinks ... but a metal bar and a harness! Join the discussion.

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July 10, 2006, 6:06 pm CDT

On-line dating

I have never tried on-line dating because I am too afraid for my personal safety.  I have not dated in 9 years and I find that I always attract people that I am not attracted to.  Then I get complaints that my standards are too high....well, I'm sorry, but I cannot picture myself kissing or spend my life with someone who does not know how to shower or brush their teeth or comb their hair.  It is even more difficult to find someone you can connect with.
 
July 10, 2006, 6:28 pm CDT

Do not give up

     most of it was already said:  But it is not only the man on there that can lie to you the woman also abuses the mate. com by lieing on it.  Also not only can you pick up a man on the internet that might be a rapest, or abuse a child, but your own family like:  father, step parents, uncles, brothers, school teacher, or church teacher, even a police officer, the person living next door, your babysitter, ...is and could very much so be the abouser most the time that is the abuser and you go oh no not my dad or not my ....so you can not blame the internet for all of the things that goes wrong.   

     Enough thing your abuser pshyical and sexual al though people do not like to talk about it is the woman who is to say that the woman on the other end is not an abuser that you meet man...exspecal the man out there with children.  Also there is a web suite you can go to too check the person out it is free and gives you any crimmial history on the person. 

     I get people all the time trying to pick me up and i do not pay for a dating suite i get them off of the yahoo games that i play they want to know your aka and i get them on pogo games that i play all the time.  I at least get 20-50 people a month asking me if i will divorce my husband(who is in prison)and come marry them.   

     However I took off went to see one in Canada for two weeks and came back found out it was not going to work.  Do be careful and y are right i meet a lot of good friends praying friends when i need it.   

 
July 10, 2006, 7:49 pm CDT

07/13 Online Dating

Quote From: weinig

Boy, is Deb right.  The men on Match.com and other sites are not what I had hoped for.  I am 58 and my best friend is 45 - neither of us has been successful.  She has even been stood up twice.  Before I joined, I felt that most of the people on the sites were losers, and now, I am pretty well convinced of it.  Neither of us plans to renew or try another site. 

Brenda 

After being married for 30 yrs and then getting a divorce I wasnt sure where to go to find the next new man in my life. I decided to try Match.com, E-Harmony, Single Me and a few others. I looked for 3 yrs and did run across a lot of jerks but believe it or not, I did find someone who I have been with  now for about 7 months and we have even talked about marriage already. I guess I feel really lucky that I did meet someone online. Im sure not everyone has an easy time and I know I sure didnt
 
July 10, 2006, 7:50 pm CDT

07/13 Online Dating

Quote From: weinig

Boy, is Deb right.  The men on Match.com and other sites are not what I had hoped for.  I am 58 and my best friend is 45 - neither of us has been successful.  She has even been stood up twice.  Before I joined, I felt that most of the people on the sites were losers, and now, I am pretty well convinced of it.  Neither of us plans to renew or try another site. 

Brenda 

After being married for 30 yrs and then getting a divorce I wasnt sure where to go to find the next new man in my life. I decided to try Match.com, E-Harmony, Single Me and a few others. I looked for 3 yrs and did run across a lot of jerks but believe it or not, I did find someone who I have been with  now for about 7 months and we have even talked about marriage already. I guess I feel really lucky that I did meet someone online. Im sure not everyone has an easy time and I know I sure didnt. But would I do it over again? I sure would.
 
July 11, 2006, 6:32 am CDT

You can say that again

Quote From: blueyesak

I have tried eharmoney.com and nothing, I tried true.com and lots of lookers were looking at my page but nothing to write home about.. I tried BBW Personals.com, well I can only say most men were either old enough to be my dad or young enough to be my younger brother or even son.  

I have met online thru BBWPersonalPlus.com a couple of men, but ladies let me fore warn you, there are some snakes. One man claimed he was from Florida and he was opening a art gallery, his picture was great he had a beautiful house, boat  and was willing to come to my home state and visit, only catch was he went to England and then Nigeria for art work to buy (didn't tell me this till he was in England), oh but it gets better he the went to Nigeria and wouldn't you know it, he ran out of money and only had money orders which no bank over there would cash and he needed money to ship his artwork home or lose it.. Couldn't I help??  

The other man I met was thru True.com,  he too claimed to live in the U.S in fact in Virginia and he was originally from the U.K and in fact still held his British Passport and was over here on a work Visa I presume.  Well he went to Nigeria to do stocks and something else, well he too needed a little financial help, it would seem he had a bit of a fender bender and he just didn't have any money in which to pay for the repairs except he had money orders and supposedly a few American Express Travelers Cheques.. and yes you guessed it, no body in Nigeria would cash the Traveler's Cheques or the money orders couldn't I please help him.  Told him to go to the British Consulet.    

So it would seem I attrack those looking for a weak person to prey on..  So ladies and Gentleman who are surfing thru those personal ad websites, please be careful for you never know what you might catch.  

I tried BBW and I m 57 but the men on there aren't much from what I've seen.  I am a little overweight and men seem to think we are weak or desperate for a man and will do whatever it takes to keep one.  They are Mr. Wrong!  Maybe we don't have a good metabolism but we aren't desperate.  The BBW's in this world want love and respect just like our counter parts, petite miss..we have respect for ourselves and want respect in a relationship.  As far as the guys looking for financial help I hope you reported them to the site management.  They can be removed and even possibly the authorities.    Good Luck in your search..Don't give up, I'm not going to...
 
July 11, 2006, 10:16 am CDT

lol

Quote From: wising

I have never tried on-line dating because I am too afraid for my personal safety.  I have not dated in 9 years and I find that I always attract people that I am not attracted to.  Then I get complaints that my standards are too high....well, I'm sorry, but I cannot picture myself kissing or spend my life with someone who does not know how to shower or brush their teeth or comb their hair.  It is even more difficult to find someone you can connect with.
i think we met the same guy. maybe its a club lol.  I too havent dated in 10 years. the ones that approch me are like you said dont know what a brush is for. I feel like if thats the best I can do than Im better off alone. Ive tried  eharomony and match and they all seem to want the same thing  Tall, thin and beautyful.
 
July 11, 2006, 3:16 pm CDT

I met my husband through online dating

Almost 6 years ago this October I went on my first date with my husband that I met in a 30's love chat room.  We married 7 months later and are still very happy.  Before I met my husband, however, I dated about 20 other people through the internet and was very successful.  You have to be cautious and check a person out by talking for a while before you go out. 

 
July 11, 2006, 6:48 pm CDT

07/13 Online Dating

Quote From: lcobby

Almost 6 years ago this October I went on my first date with my husband that I met in a 30's love chat room.  We married 7 months later and are still very happy.  Before I met my husband, however, I dated about 20 other people through the internet and was very successful.  You have to be cautious and check a person out by talking for a while before you go out. 

I too have been lucky with online dating. After being single for 9 years I met the man of my dreams. We arent married yet but we are currently awaiting for the fiance visa so that we can make our plans. Him and I met on a site called Megafriends and I have no regrets. There are many players out there so you have to be careful and watch your back...at the same time if you are open to new ideas it can be very rewarding. My fiance is the love of my life and I cant wait to be settled in our home finally together at last. :)
 
July 11, 2006, 9:16 pm CDT

Why aren't you more worried?

Quote From: chancery2

I am a mother of a an 18 year old who never dated that I knew of.  She had friends but never seriously dated any of them.  One day I came home from work and she told me that 6am in the morning she was leaving to fly to United States to be her with new found online boyfriend.  I was totally devastated but I couldn't stop her because she of a legal age.  I was hoping the authorities at the airport would stop her from entering the United States as she only had a one way ticket.  They didn't.  Now she is an illegal immigrant in the United States.  She has phoned me several times crying her eyes out that she doesn't like him and that he doesn't treat her the way that she thought she would be treated.  I have offered for her to come home again but she doesn't want to come back and live in this town.  I can't figure out why.  She has a nice home and family here but she doesn't want to come back here to live.  I am a single parent.  Her father died January 2006.  The latest is that since she can't stand living where she is now either that the boyfriend's  mother has offered to have my daughter live with her in California.  She said she would let me know.  She hasn't.  I don't know where she is now.  This is all through on-line dating with a very naive 18 year old who hasn't a clue about what the world is out there but is having some very fast lessons being given to her.  I am a widow now but I will never go the on-line dating route.  Forget that one.  

  

Chancery2 

 Am I to understand that your 18 year old Canadian  daughter is in the States and you haven't heard from her and you don't know where she is? However the  last person you know she was with was someone she met over the Internet who is treating her badly.
Why haven't you alerted the authorities? Why aren't you putting your life on hold and going to the States and tracking her down and bringing her home? I would be frantic with worry, my youngest is 19 years old if this was her I would be doing all in my powers to trace her and bring her home.
I'm sorry to hear your husband died so recently, maybe you aren't able to realise how serious all this is, due to your grief. But really if what you are saying is that your child is missing in a foreign country where she has no true friends or relatives then you must do something about it now.
I wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you that there is a happy resoloution to this frightening story.
 
July 12, 2006, 7:36 am CDT

Online Dating

I tried online dating back in late 2004 - 2005.   

  

I met about four guys who did not work out after meeting  three of them but the fifth guy was the charm. 

  

Right now I can't remember if my current love found online contacted me or if I contacted him first, but when he sent me his email address and phone number to contact him and I did call, I was instantly 'smitten' with his voice.  I felt that I really wanted to meet and get to know this person and he felt the same about me.  We made a date with me choosing the day/time and place (as always), and before we met, he did email me his picture of him in his cap and gown receiving his Master degree from college.  It was a great picture, but I felt that no matter how he looked, I still wanted to get to know him. 

  

We met, and we both instantly 'were in love'  I do believe :) 

  

We have been together as a couple ever since for about a year and a half now.  We saw a lot of each other pretty much last year starting in February 2005 when we met, but his job has taken him away to temp. relocate in another state and do a lot of other traveling so we have not been able to see each other in person too much, but we do keep in touch by phone and email.  He is also working on his doctorate degree. 

  

We are both divorced and I have no children and his only son just started college last year. 

  

I don't know if we will ever get married, but I already consider him in my heart to be my 'life partner'. 

  

We are both the same sign and he is six years older than I am.   He is in great shape and I am very petite and in shape and most people don't think I am older than 35 years old and we both are in our 50s. 

  

He makes me feel like I am 18 when we are together and we cherish our time together very much.  He always tells me that he misses me and we have never had an argument over anything.  It helps I suppose that he does relationship counseling for people so he knows how to relate very well to me. 

  

I consider myself so very, very lucky to have found him, because I was in a terribe marriage for 25 years with a physical/mental abusive husband and he was my first real boyfriend. 

  

I wish much luck to those out there who can find someone wonderful as I have, through online dating. 

 
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