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Topic : 07/13 Online Dating

Number of Replies: 365
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, July 06, 2006, 07:06:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Meeting the love of your life in a bar is no longer the only option. Every month, 61 million people log on to try online dating. So why is Dr. Phil's first guest, Deb, having such a hard time? She says she's a dating disaster and can't figure out why she only gets losers in her inbox. Some online dating experts take a look at her profile to see what she's doing wrong. Then, Jeanne hasn't been on a date in over 20 years and says she's scared to death to try online dating. Dr. Phil goes over some cyber safety tips from his book, Love Smart. Plus, a unique first date that doesn’t include dinner and drinks ... but a metal bar and a harness! Join the discussion.

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July 8, 2006, 5:09 pm CDT

Married mine

 I meet my husband on Yahoo Personals. We were both widowed.. He answered my profile We found out we had so much in common, and had the same values. We meet in June 2003 and married September 5, 2003.  The thing is online  yu have to read between the lines. I did meet a few jerks ,but I meet more nice men than the jerks
 
July 8, 2006, 5:12 pm CDT

scared to date on-line

 I have just met a man on the net he says he just wants to be friends and talk he even went so far as to give his phone number I saw a picture of him but looks aren't necessarily the way they are I've never down this before I'm 42 and he says he's 46 what do I do? 

 
July 8, 2006, 5:28 pm CDT

it can work but it takes time

I tried that kind of dating for a year or maybe more and i can say that we CAN NEVER BE SURE if the other person "lover" is serious!!  

I mean, in my case, he is still until now telling me i love you even he goes for more than a mounth away from the internet acess!!  

I know i m having feelings for him but i can't be sure if  he feels the same!  

it's very dangerous for the sensitif person becaus ethey can beleive and live in dreams!!  

well............Like DR Phill said: LET S HAVE A SMART LOVE.....beeing careful  

 
July 8, 2006, 6:02 pm CDT

It worked for me

I tried internet dating and dated very frequently, sometimes two dates/night. However, I realized that the men that I was meeting were way more comfortable "talking" on the internet and "wishing" that they had a relationship. But, I didn't give up. I met Mark on Date.com. And I responded that "if you want to correspond, it would be O.K.". (Can you tell that I was fed up with the men on the internet). I went out on a dinner date with him after "corresponding", then talking over the phone. I stopped internet dating after that and we married one year later. Happines can happen, but it takes perserverance--lots of it. Good luck.  

Happily married in Colorado. Vikki  

 
July 8, 2006, 6:08 pm CDT

Been there done that & it works

I guess Im one of the luckier ones. I met the love of my life online.......... I wasnt looking for love, or in fact all I wanted was something to do. I was bored & lonely, not feeling well & decided to venture into the world of chat. I had heard so many horror stories of online relationships & knew that wasnt for me. I was still in a marriage of more than 25 years, not happy but not looking for anything either. I stubbled across a room where the chat was so fun, light & friendly. I remember the moment I started taking part in the chat I thought I would look at some of the profiles in the room. The moment I read the profile of one man in particular I was instantly drawn to him. There was no romance, no flirting just good honest chat. I told him I was married, had children etc. We clicked & decided to be friends. I even remember introducing this man to my husband & they too struck up an online friendship. Months went by & my online friend got sick. It was then I realised my feelings for this man had snuck up on me. Anyway the rest is history. I met this man fell instantly in love, divorced my husband & 4 years after meeting online we became husband & wife. We have now been married over 4 years & life is good. Only dificlulty we have is the fact that we now live in America (his home) while the rest of my family (children all gown & married etc) live thousands of miles away in New Zealand. Online dating can work but only in cases where there is 100% honesty right from the begining. Yes it worked for me but would I recommend it for others? NO I wouldnt. I was lucky but I also know there are a lot of dangerous people out there so anyone trying it just becareful & be honest.
 
July 8, 2006, 6:09 pm CDT

They're out there...

When I decided to join Match.com, I was just looking for poeople to enjoy doing things with.  I wasn't looking for the love of my life.  I had been married before, and was gun shy.  Little did I knw that I would meet the love of my life.  There really are great guys out there (I just happened to get the best one!), and there are even some online.  Be discriminating in who you communicate with, and be HONEST.  If it is meant to happen, it will... online or not!
 
July 8, 2006, 6:33 pm CDT

ONLINE DATING A SUCESS

I MET MY SPOUSE OF 1 YEAR (SO FAR) ON A ONLINE DATING SERVICE.   

  

This is my version!!! 

We met each other online approx. Oct 2003. He was always the "most compatible person" according to the dating service. So I thought I would IM him to talk. We talked online for awhile and then decided to meet face-to-face on December 7 2003. I was very nervous so we decided to meet at a gas station that was half way between where we both lived.He was from Toledo Ohio and I was from the Bluffton Ohio area. We met at a BP Station in Findlay Ohio ,first. It was about 25 minutes from my house and about 40 minutes from his house. He got into my car and handed me some flowers. (awwwwww!) Then we decided to go to a nearby Applebees where we spent  a little over three hours just  talking about ourselves and our kids. I was hooked!!!! He was raising three teens all by himself because his ex just up and left them for a biker dude. I had two teens at home at the time also. That seemed to be enough connection to get the ball rolling. He proposed to me on August 23, 2004. I said no with an explaination of wanting my last child to graduate from high school. So he was very understanding. He then asked me to marry him the next Christmas. I SAID YES!  We married on June 24, 2005. We went on a beautiful honeymoon, cruising to the Bahamas. He is just what I needed. 

  

I would not give up! I had a few driveby dates also and I had a few duds online and so did he. Don't wait for them to IM you.If one fits your profile the most and can deal with the ones that don't, girl, go for it. As long as he isn't a serial killer, what have you got to loose and you get a free meal!!!! 

  

ps - a drive by date is meeting at a certain place and driving by. If you don't like the looks or he doesn't like your looks, you wave and keep going. Can be a ego reducer but no one has wasted any time on something you didn't like. 

 
July 8, 2006, 6:33 pm CDT

Same here!

I've tried several sites, but met only a couple of men who were worth my time.  One decided he only wanted to be friends and now, six months later, he's married again!  I've pretty much given up on all the sites but one, and I'm beginning to have my doubts about it.
 
July 8, 2006, 6:39 pm CDT

Online Dating

Quote From: momcar

 
boy can I ever relate to this though it hasn't been 20 yrs.  I get guys who are separated aka still married, those who talk it up big, but are just jerks-no honesty whatsoever!

The man I met and married turned out to be a bigamist two times over!  BE CAREFUL!  I will never ever meet anyone online again.  He is sly and cunning as are many.   

 
July 8, 2006, 6:50 pm CDT

Online Dating-Not Good

I can agree also, I've tried the online dating thing. Match.com, E-harmony and some others. I was shocked to find out how many men on there are either in a relationship or MARRIED! If they are single then they are usually looking for one thing, a one nighter!  

I'll admit that I was very naieve at first so that's my fault, but after I wised up things didn't get much better.  

There ought to be a way to weed out the "true" singles. Even on E-Harmony,  I decided to call one of my "matches" (I looked his # up because he was planning to come to the city I live in). Well, I got his answering machine and left a message, much to my surprise....HIS LIVE-IN GIRLFRIEND called me later that day! She didn't blame me but needless to say, we didn't communicate any further. So, E-Harmony is quite expensive (on my budget). Just goes to show how far a guy will go to seek "extra" affairs!  

   

My advice is this,  

   

RED FLAGS:  

   

1) If the prospective "date" only communicates late at night and on weekends- (wife/girlfriend is sleeping?)  

2) They tell you that they screed ALL calls (hiding from what?)  

3) Cannot have a conversation without talking about their EX!  

4) They are vague about their home, (they'll come to your house but don't want you to visit theirs)  

5) Don't include a photo with their profile (again, hiding something?)  

   

There are many, many more but these are just a few I'd thought that I'd mention.   

   

So IF I ever do the online dating thing again, I'll go ahead and pay one of those services that does a background check on them. I KNOW they cost about $40 but I KNOW I'M WORTH IT and so is every one else.  

   

   

I also follow the guidelines for first dates,   

   

I only meet them in a public place that YOU are familiar with-  

That means driving my own vehicle  

   

Let a friend know where your going and call them at some point before, during, and after your date(this is not only a good idea for safety reasons, but you can have a code word that lets them know to call you back in 10 minutes or so if you need an excuse to "leave")  

   

ALWAYS  bring your charged up cell phone (if you don't have one, borrow one)   

   

Never bring them home after the first date, Or go to "his" place (the REAL predators will be so smooth that it won't be obvious to you-HEY anyone can behave for a few hours)  

   

Don't wear extremely revealing clothing-it sends the wrong message, look nice but decent  

   

Don't tell them your exact address, get to know them better-if they're the real deal they'll still be around  

   

Have plenty of gas in your vehicle and a flashlight  

   

Carry extra cash with you, just in case  

   

Most of all be aware of your surroundings without looking nervous.  

   

Try and avoid talking about your past relationships and your personal problems, remember you're trying to make a good first impression.  

   

AND MOST OF ALL......  

   

Try and have fun, be genuinely interested in them-then they're more likely to be interested in you!  

(Good idea to talk about hobbies, etc.)  

   

I'm not trying to sound "preachy" but just hoping that this can come in handy for someone.  

   

Can you believe it? I followed the "guidelines" and still came up with the "duds"!  

   

Good luck everyone!  

 
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