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Topic : Overeating

Number of Replies: 141
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 12:36:58 pm
Author : dataimport
At the end of the day, sometimes eating seems like the only thing that will comfort us. We've got to drop that habit and look for more healthy ways to relieve anxiety and stress! Share your tips for breaking the cycle.

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January 10, 2006, 11:31 am CST

I understand...

Quote From: debrasatt

I am the one who shops but if I don't get it he just goes and gets it.He can sit and eat more ice cream then I can eat.Half a galin a night.I do fix healthy meals but he goes and gets what he wants to eat at a fast food reaturant.He does have money.When I try to talk to him about his problem I do tell him I want him around for a while after the kids are gone.I do tell him I do not want to be taking care of him I have seen my mom go through that with my dad after his stroke .I want to be able to do amethings with him not visiting him in a nursing home or at a grave sight.He just says I don't have a problem my mom side of the family was fat they all lived til their 60 and did just fine.Quite making a big deal out of this and leave me alone.So one day after a talk I got really mad and told him that I was not taking care of him if something did happen because of his wiehgt.I had better things to do with my life then to sit and bath and push him around.He said he didn't care.So the last year I have said nothing to him. but cook healthy meals and tell him not to wake me up if he goes for one of his nightly food runs.and not to eat in our bed.I dont put the ice cream he likes on our gerocery list I pick up some for the kids.Thiers last two weeks cause he doesn't like it.But then he just goes out and picks up what he likes.He is right his moms side of the family is obess even his cousins kids and thier kids our.one 10 yearold looks like she is about 120 pounds.she wears bigger size clother then my 17 yearold does.He tells me that all germans pure germans are big people.He is pure german Lutheran.His brother his only full brother emailed him a year ago and said he had to lose wieght because he has a heart condition and that it is hereditary coming from thier moms side of the family.So he know lives a heathy life.My h just looked at me when I asked him about it and said so what there is nothing wrong with me.I hate diets and I don't need to changfe what I eat Iam fine.If i did you want make me stay on it I can't do anything like that cause you never do it for me.Meaning I have to make sure he is staying on the progam I am not his mom I never wanted to be his mom.I married a man not a boy.I have three kids with disabilites I din't want a fourth kid why can't he be a man and do this for hisself I just take what ever support I can give him and be a man and not rely on me to chase him around and make aure he does what he is supose to do.Like take his med.The day he came to me and said you forgot to tell me I was supose to start taking this med. it is your fault I didn't I looked at him and said not that is your responsility not mine I take my thiroid meds with out your help why can't you.So they just sit on his side of the bed.I wont do it for him I can't lose the wieght for him.I won't sit around and take care of him after the kids are gone becuse he would take care of himself.I have a life to go on with I have done my job rasing our kids.I want to go out and have some fun after they are gone with or with out him.I won't be like my mom who for the last five years has taken full time care of my dad pushing him around bathing him changeing him and so on.I can't and I wont'.Not becuse he refuses to do what he needs to do to live a health life.I would be thier for him if it was because of somethign unforsene.Not because of something he could have done something about.Does any one understand this.I am not a bad perosn.I just think it is unfair for him to do this tohimself and expect me to be thier to pick up the peices.I have done everthing to get it throught to him,That I love him but I am not his mom but his wife I want a life not to be his caretaker becuse he is to stubrin and proud to take care of himslef and thinking I will be thier to take care of him no matter how he abuses his body.I don't want to wast away my older years like my mom.
It sounds to me like you have done everything that you can for him. I completely understand how you feel and I don't think that you are being selfish at all for wanting to be able to have a fulfilling life. Everyone deserves that. I remember from your previous message that he agreed to lose the weight when you were getting married and not only didn't, but gained more. I think that you have a choice to make. Some people may disagree with me, but it is jusy MY opinion. I think that there are things that are deal-breakers in a marriage. They differ from person to person, but everyone has to have them. Like abuse, cheating, etc., are deal-breakers. If these things happened in my marriage, I would be going to a divorce lawyer right away. I had one when my husband and I decided to get married. He was in the Marines when we met, and I fell head-over-heels in love with him, but i knew that I didn't want to be a military wife. You know him being gone months at a time and we didn't have any kids at the time, but we knew we wanted to have kids soon and i didn't want to be raising kids by myself and feeling so alone. Some women are able to endure this, I am not one of them. So, I made him swear that after his contract was up, that he would not re-enlist and I told him that if he chose to stay in the Marines that he was also choosing to end our relationship. The only way I got through him being gone for 6 and 9 months at a time was knowing that he would be getting out soon and there was a light at the end of the tunnel. He got out when his contract ended, even with them offering a huge bonus to stay in. We had to live with his parents for about 6 months until he found a job that paid enough, but at least he was with me, you know. Anyway, I'm getting off the point... My point is that you have to make a choice that this is something that you absolutely can't tolerate anymore and move on with your life or you have to be able to tell yourself that this is his battle and you cannot fight it for him and you are not his mother and you are not responsible for his decisions and accept him completely, faults and all. I really hope that you can find peace with this, either way.
 
January 11, 2006, 6:18 pm CST

forgetful

Quote From: zimexlady

.........further to portion control, I MUST add that I walk 2-3 miles per day BETWEEN meals! 

Good Luck! 

what happens if you don't have time to eat every hour or you forget to eat every hour, i have three children and i barely have time to eat these days and when i get a chance to eat i overeat and binge, sometimes i will catch myself stressing out and literaly running to the kitchen to put food in my mouth.
 
January 12, 2006, 12:01 pm CST

my attitued towards food

I am a full time student and my fiance works. He will bring me back snacks or food. But if I tell him I am on a diet he won't and he will make me accountable for what I eat. I apreciate that until the point that I go off my diet and he is getting after me for it (because I"ve ask him to.) And then he will feel bad and come home with a snack to try to make up for it. It is a vicious cycle that I have created by my attitude towards food. I don't want my relationship to be injured by my problem with food. It seems like every time I diet my fiance and I end up arguing. Any advice?
 
January 15, 2006, 5:01 pm CST

Get serious about your eating.

Quote From: vmudd0722

I am a full time student and my fiance works. He will bring me back snacks or food. But if I tell him I am on a diet he won't and he will make me accountable for what I eat. I apreciate that until the point that I go off my diet and he is getting after me for it (because I"ve ask him to.) And then he will feel bad and come home with a snack to try to make up for it. It is a vicious cycle that I have created by my attitude towards food. I don't want my relationship to be injured by my problem with food. It seems like every time I diet my fiance and I end up arguing. Any advice?
 Either swallow your arguments with him, or find somebody else to be your coach. Losing weight is really up to you, and you do it alone. It helps tremendously to have people to support you, but it really is up to you. So, if he's judgmental or overbearing with you, and then brings you food you shouldn't eat later, to make up, it's not going to work. You have to do something different. I would suggest that you become responsible for the food you eat. You fix your own meals and snacks. If he offers to bring you something, be sure to tell him exactly what you want, with an alternative if he can't get your first choice.

Look at the bright side, he IS trying to be helpful. If he doesn't have a weight problem he has no idea what you're going through, so you have to teach him. It's taken years to teach myself what it takes, and then teach my family how to treat me. If you want a short cut, get the book.
 
February 1, 2006, 1:13 pm CST

snacks

Quote From: vmudd0722

I am a full time student and my fiance works. He will bring me back snacks or food. But if I tell him I am on a diet he won't and he will make me accountable for what I eat. I apreciate that until the point that I go off my diet and he is getting after me for it (because I"ve ask him to.) And then he will feel bad and come home with a snack to try to make up for it. It is a vicious cycle that I have created by my attitude towards food. I don't want my relationship to be injured by my problem with food. It seems like every time I diet my fiance and I end up arguing. Any advice?

Why not have him see how healthy he can get with you?  Blueberries and lowfat low carb yogurt with grapenuts sprinkled on top for crunch.    A slush of frozen blueberries, bananas, vanilla soy milk, crushed ice, protein powder, flax seed and wheat germ ran through a blender.   A small bag of almonds............ 

  

Eat snacks. 

Eat meals. 

Make them all count.  You're feeding you!   :0) 

 
February 1, 2006, 1:22 pm CST

saying no

Quote From: kemsmom

Hi, my name is Lissette and I am starting the new year with dr. Phil's diet plan. i have his book, and i'm ready to go. I bought the book 4 months ago. and at the time i even said, i won't do this till the new year. I'm not sure why i didn't start as soon as i got the book, but i didn't. yes my house is empty of temptations. and the house is full of healthy snacks. i think that will help me alot! because i do go scavenging when the kids bed time rolls around. after baths and bed, i get this sigh of relief and then i feel i have to reward myself with some food. i get excited about that time of day. but when the kids go off to bed, it's just me. and i have these fantasies of "tonite i'll read that book i bought" but i don't. i get lazy and i close the book. i go get a bowl of left overs and watch t.v.  

soooo, anyone have any advice on how to kick that habit?  

well as of now, my only solution is to not have left overs. and to cook only what i know we'll eat. and the other is i have a nice cup of decaf coffee with non fat cream. i looove coffee, and maybe a coffee with some fat free popcorn would be healthier than what i've been doing. btw i never crave sweets, infact i hate em. i'm worst! yes worst than sugar cravings, i get salt cravings. i will make an egg with toast if i get the munchies!! forget the ice cream give me toast! and how can i get rid of bread and eggs, when it's in the house for breakfast ?  

Lissette 

Psychs. say that each time we tell ourselves NO about something, it gets easier each time.   

Try a long bath.  How about a manicure . facial. pedicure.  ?  Reward yourself at night before bed for not reaching for anything to eat.  Food is not a reward, food is fuel.  Wear a rubber band on your wrist.  Each time the thought pops into your mind, pop that band then go get busy doing something else.  Soon, your body will get the association that those thoughts bring pain.   

  

The majority of people in America are overweight now.  And they are doing everything they can and spending money like crazy to get thin.  Except eating less.  More protein, less flour and sugar, more veggies and whole grains and smaller servings of everything. 

  

I lost 30 pounds and kept it off.  it does happen.  You know what to do.  If you want to lose the weight, want it bad enough to sacrifice something (like eating before bedtime)   For everything you have achieved in life to date, you have sacrificed something.  This is the same thing. 

  

What emptiness do you feel at bedtime that you are trying to fill? 

maybe keep a journal for your deepest thoughts during this time. 

  

 
February 3, 2006, 10:27 am CST

plz help

hey all ok i am new here and well i really need some help and advice. I am stuggling with an eating disorder for like the past 1 year now.I have gone form 200 to 127 in one year. alot of people think it is because i bust my butt in th egym but its also becase well i do diet pills and well am what is called bulmia or something? I am 21 and in college. I have gone to my parents about this but they dont care. My dad does not want to talk to me and and consdiers me crazy becuase have an eating disrdoer does not make you normal. My freinds i have told left me beucase they say i am not right with God and stuff like that. I have gone to the school consulers here at my college but they only see students hear as numbers not as people. I have called places for help and well they only care if you havethe money. If you dont they dont want to help. I feel all alone and scared. I am living 2 difrent lifes. everytime  I try and eat normal i fail. I will do good for like 3 days then bad. I know i am dying slowing even though i dont want. I want to live and be normal. I will be 22 feb 10 this firday coming up and well i want to make it to see my 22 birthday. what can I do? i have nobdoy to talk to, those who i have tryed to talk to have walked away b/c they see me as not normal and well God is puinshing me. I am not into relgion like they are. My parents dont care and well even though they provide for my college my dad does not want to face the fact that I need some help. I cant drop out of college becuase i start the zoo program in aug and haveto finsh up math and bilogly. I feel like i am a dead person in a waling shell running only on false hope. I have tryed to get better i keepa dary food log, but i just hate myself and well i am overweight. I cant get these diease out of my life. I feel like i am in hell and well i am al alone. someone plz tell me what to do?
 
February 7, 2006, 5:57 pm CST

Am I the only one?

I want to try and relate to people here; to feel like I am not weird for having an eating disorder, like my husband says.  I overeat, compulsively and emotionally, for a number of reasons.  I want to see what other people here are going through. 

 

 

 

What's happening in your life to make you overeat? 

  

If you've tried counseling for your overeating, has it helped? 

  

Do you think that Dr Phil's Ultimate Weight Solution helped you?  I found that it didn't really cover compulsive overeating.  I realize that people need to step up and take responsibility for what they eat, but how do you do that when you're a food addict?  It's hard to replace the behavior when one's life seems impossible to manage. 

  

If you've been to OA, how did it go?  I don't feel it is right for me, though I am not sure what is. 

  

If you've conquered overeating, what has been your redemption or how do you manage it? 

 
February 13, 2006, 7:57 am CST

not alone

Quote From: blazestorm

hey all ok i am new here and well i really need some help and advice. I am stuggling with an eating disorder for like the past 1 year now.I have gone form 200 to 127 in one year. alot of people think it is because i bust my butt in th egym but its also becase well i do diet pills and well am what is called bulmia or something? I am 21 and in college. I have gone to my parents about this but they dont care. My dad does not want to talk to me and and consdiers me crazy becuase have an eating disrdoer does not make you normal. My freinds i have told left me beucase they say i am not right with God and stuff like that. I have gone to the school consulers here at my college but they only see students hear as numbers not as people. I have called places for help and well they only care if you havethe money. If you dont they dont want to help. I feel all alone and scared. I am living 2 difrent lifes. everytime  I try and eat normal i fail. I will do good for like 3 days then bad. I know i am dying slowing even though i dont want. I want to live and be normal. I will be 22 feb 10 this firday coming up and well i want to make it to see my 22 birthday. what can I do? i have nobdoy to talk to, those who i have tryed to talk to have walked away b/c they see me as not normal and well God is puinshing me. I am not into relgion like they are. My parents dont care and well even though they provide for my college my dad does not want to face the fact that I need some help. I cant drop out of college becuase i start the zoo program in aug and haveto finsh up math and bilogly. I feel like i am a dead person in a waling shell running only on false hope. I have tryed to get better i keepa dary food log, but i just hate myself and well i am overweight. I cant get these diease out of my life. I feel like i am in hell and well i am al alone. someone plz tell me what to do?

you are not alone and God is not punishing you . You might be punishing you, but God isn't.  He's there for you.  I am not "religious" but I am spiritual.  I would seek out free counseling in the nearest city, or the city you are in if it's a larger city.   Catholic Family Services, STARR programs, etc... are free and they are people who are concerned. 

  

Is there an upbeat church in your area that is nonjudgmental and has a large college youth program? Call them 

  

Also, how about volunteering.  ??  !!   Shelters, Hospices, anything to get your mind off of you.  Nothing makes your problems seem small like getting to know the problems others have.  Plus, you'll feel great about youself. 

  

I can tell you that God sent His only Son to die for you as the ultimate lamb and sacrifice so you'd never have to sacrifice something that was precious to you.  He saw the old sacrifice system among humans wasn't working so He sent HIS ultimate sacrifice.  All we have to do to honor that sacrifice is believe on Him and turn our lives over to Him.  He is NOT punishing you.  I"m not saying he doesn't allow some people to go through hard time, but He allows freedom of choice to all of us and we suffer because we don't choose to follow in His will.  We're not stepford children.  What would be the point of that?  We have a choice in everything.  What choices are you making? 

  

Blessings to you!!!    

 
February 14, 2006, 10:35 am CST

helpp im an over eater im going to get so fat and explode

 
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