Topic : What's Your Payoff for Being Overweight?

Hi Brenda,

I'm there with you. I also thought I could not lose weight. I'm in a wheelchair. I don't have many ways to get my body moving intensely. Nevertheless I joined a health club. I am slowly losing weight now.

Don't try to find excuses, just work on it. Sorry I don't want to be rough on you but I reckognize what you tell in your mail. If I can do different, you can too!

Jo

Hi Brenda,

I have discovered with me that it is not having the right equipment....but the motivation to move my rear end.  I feel so alone in my battle and with caretaking an ill husband I find it even more isolating.  I so much wish I had a "kick me in the butt" partner.

Marlene

Hi can I join in?

This is my first attempt at a message board

I just wanted to say I've struggled with my weight and ill health for quite a few years now. I find the thing that helps is to measure my body from head to ankle and keep check on the inch loss - the scales may not be moving - keep going the next few days will show a difference if you don't console yourself with eating- but as I eat for health my body shows the difference.

Hugs to you all out there x x

Sorry I don't know how to add all the pretty things you have

This is my second attempt at a message board

I just wanted to say I've struggled with my weight since celebrating my first wedding anniversary. I have found that the real culprit for not gaining it but keeping it on is boredom..  I eat when I am bored.....  so I have had to concentrate on feeling excited about my life... 

Well, I know what my payoff is!  And I learned it quite by accident.

BACKGROUND:  My sister was having the last of her reconstructive breast surgery on Friday and I was out shopping with my mom on Wednesday. 

THE AHA MOMENT:  I'm driving down the road heading to a store, my arm is feeling really hot because the weather is in the 90's. I make statement:  I forgot to put my sunscreen on.

MOM:  You are the most unhealthiest person I know.

I couldn't believe her words!   It's not like I hadn't heard them before, cause she's been telling me this for years and years!  It was a tape that she popped up with!

The thing is, other than my menopause & hyperthyroidism (which I blame on menopause) and being overweight, I don't have any other physical problems! 

Later that day, I sat down and journaled the conversation and allowed myself to FEEL the emotions I was experiencing.  

I felt SHAMED & EMBARRASSED that at 52 years old, I was the healthiest of 6 kids (and I'm the oldest).  I couldn't believe that I kept myself FAT so that I could eventually get diabetes (like 2 sisters), or breathing problems (like my brother, mom, & dad), or have my gall bladder taken out or high pressure .. or any numerous illnesses that family members currently have.

My payoff was:  I couldn't fit the tape my mother & I lived with for so long.  If was healthy and at my ideal weight, then I would be shameful!

I'm still dealing with that day.  Funny thing is, that Friday when I took my sister & mom to get her prescriptions, my mom said it again!  YOU ARE THE MOST UNHEALTHIEST PERSON I KNOW.  My sister jumped laughing and told my mom what was she thinking!  That I was the healthiest member of the family!

It's a really old script and yet, that little script/role that I have been playing for so very long as finally bought closure to my payoff!

There's no more excuses any more.  My goal now is to lose 10 lbs by my birthday (10/29).  I don't hear any more static - I gave myself 2 weeks to hear it and tackle it -- but nothing seems to be popping up other than -- well, I need to add a vigorous activity to my exercising and I need to work on adding veggies to my diet! 

My payoff is the same,  and I can learn from ladies like you,  (I have not long turned 30).

It rather strange who so many mothers can say such easy/quick words that are so hurtful,  my mother was alway they "It's a shame you've put on so much weight, you used to be so beautiful..."

Well I have my own daughter to protect and love now..  so I have to start learning how to look after myself...  so that she can learn by example...  After a few years of coping with depression and the weight being a factor,  I now finally feel beautiful and am getting healthy.

SOmetimes when I listen to big people I sometimes hear stuff that sounds so childish.  I finally figured out that my mom is more screwed up than me because she was never taught how to deal with life or her emotions.   She had so many losts in her life and so did my dad.  Can you believe that my dad truly believed that his dad had deserted him and when he died at 70 years old, he never knew the truth.  His mom had run off with him when he was 3 years old with another man and left his 5 sisters with their dad.  My dad never forgave him because if he ever questioned his mom's truth to him. 

Have you read SELF MATTERS?  THat book and it's companion workbook is just fabulous!!!  It helped me to grow up and become an adult -- I still have a way to go because I lack experience but I'm working hard at responding to life as an adult now.

you are so right.....  I am making my way thru self matters...  I started before I got pregnant and was still working...  Have just picked it up again to finish.... 

Self discovery is an amazing thing.

The one thing SELF MATTERS showed me was that so much of my ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT THE EVENT or PEOPLE was based on my parents or other family's past.  Both of my parents grew up in a divorce household and their main parent married multiple times.  They never had consistency and they were in a lot of pain.  I was pretty amazed a couple of times when I figured out that my parents thought a certain way because their parent thought a certain way and they just carried it with them.  Like that sorry about the Easter Ham:

Daughter is watching mom prepare the ham for the oven. Mom cuts off the ends and the daughter asks:  Why did you do that?  Mom says: Cause that's how grandma did it.  Daughter:  Why did she do it?  So mom calls grandma and grandma says:  Because my pan was too small for the ham.

You would be able to teach your child how to handle themselves emotionally and to work with them when life events occur.  Wouldn't your child be way ahead of the game of life?